As Family Alphas we have to fill every role our wife needs from a man. We also must do this while retaining our identity as a masculine male. I believe this is one of the three major reasons guys become completely weaksauce beta behavior displaying fucks. The other two components are complacency (I’ve got a wife why do I need to try anymore) and that guys assume women think and act like men do (they don’t).
A guy who is single can spin plates (date/fuck many women) and be the same guy to each one of them. Because they see him infrequently his demeanor is new to them. He can use the same technique with his tongue, the same moves when fucking, and the same story to get them to his house. This is because each chick is new; every one of them sees him as something fresh.
We, as married men do not have this luxury. Our moves must always be progressing, our sex must always be improving, and our dirty talk must constantly evolve so we do not become stagnant. That’s one of the reasons that marriage is viewed as living Red Pill on HARD MODE. Our women know most of our secrets, have seen us at our worst, and become used to our game. We cannot take our foot off the gas like a single dude can. The absolute worst thing you can do to women is bore them. If you’re boring she WILL find some other thrill and too often that thrill comes from the attention of another man.
Never forget, complacency kills
The same is true with who you are as a man and the role you play in her life. I am 28 and grew up hearing the 90’s boy bands. Each one was a fucking clone of the other. If you look at N’ Sync, The Backstreet Boys, and 98Deg you’ll see that they are fucking cookie cut ‘types’ of men that were selected to maximize audience (thus profits). Who did you see filling the seats? Who are companies focusing their marketing attention on? Who gave a shit about the different personalities of the guys?
You had the sad guy, the hot guy, the sensitive guy, the funny guy, and the tough guy. You have to fill these exact same roles for your wife. You need to be caveman, romantic, intelligent, and spontaneous all at once or more accurately at the right times. You cannot allow your relationship to stagnate because you’re so focused on being comfortable and expecting your wife to just Love you the way you are.
Don’t pigeonhole yourself into thinking that you are only one type of guy. Push the boundaries of what you think you can do and who you really are. Show her you’re a fucking beast by working out, enforcing boundaries, and leading your family with infinite reserve of self-confidence. Show her you have emotions by being soft with your kids, picking her up and telling her that she’s your girl, and showing passion when you talk about a subject that is dear to you. Don’t go and cry over stupid shit, but give a shit. For example, I hate obese kids. I don’t hate them I hate that their parents are fucking pitiful and weak. It is entirely preventable and when I get on the subject I WILL make you listen to me and you WILL hear what I have to say because I become passionate and you hear that through my voice. Too many guys are just whatever about everything.
I’m always looking to challenge myself, one of those challenges came when I surprised my wife with a date night. She had no idea that I had planned an entire night around a ‘Paint Night’ that a local pub was putting on.
I have always told myself I hated the ‘Arts’. I am a builder, not so much a painter. To compound that fact when we showed up I was one of 2 dudes. Guess what I did, I didn’t play the whole doting husband along for the ride, I fucking owned that shit. Guess what? We had a blast; I was getting looks from the buzzed middle aged women who were there with their ‘girls’ and my wife had an awesome time. You have to solve the Rubik’s cube that is your wife’s mind and you should enjoy the process of clearing each line and getting the colors to match up.
I would have viewed painting as the gayest thing a Man could do not too long ago. But, I let go of giving a shit what anyone else thought of anything I did and I just did what I thought would be fun and it was.
We need to embrace every aspect of Masculinity, to include the romantic side. You can be strong in every moment, even when you’re painting a canvas of a red fucking tree on a mountain while drinking some Merlot.
Stop being a ‘whatever’ dude and start giving a shit, don’t avoid confrontation, embrace it. Your wife will appreciate that and in turn recognize the fact that she does have a quality man. Until then, she looks at you like everyone else does, as a fucking schmuck who can’t motivate himself enough to give a fuck about life.
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.