Just so you know where I’m coming from I’m married and have a 6 year old son and a 3 year old daughter.
I won’t go into detail as to how fucked up today’s school system is, nor will I delve too deep into the standard that’s been set for kids. I’ll save both of those for a later post, but I will say that the school system needs to be overhauled and that the standard kids are held to nowadays is low…so pitifully low.
This post will focus on what we can do as fathers to keep our kids on the “right” path. I put right in quotations as what is right/wrong depends on the individual, though I believe there are certain universal aspects to what is right like having respect, the need for education, and partaking in healthy activities.
As a father your children require you to invest your most prized assets – your time and attention.
I cannot change the school system, not single handedly at least, all I can do is push for my kids class to have the necessary equipment, money, and understanding that I will be involved and I will not accept mediocrity. Something else that is in my control is the skills, values, and information that is pumped into my kids heads when they are home.
This has led to me taking a few actions that not so long ago would have gone unnoticed but in our ‘advanced’ day and age has become unorthodox. I have:
- Told my kids that if the sun is out, they are out.
- Removed TV unless it’s raining or it’s night time and we want to watch a movie as a family.
- Made writing, coloring, and reading a part of their daily routine
- Removed processed snacks from my home and do my best when we’re at friends and family’s homes
- I have removed ALL fast food.
- Enforced hard boundaries (that are constantly tested) such as asking to be excused from the table when done eating, saying please and thank you, tone/talking back, etc.
While these may seem unorthodox to some, this is how I grew up and it is something that I will forever appreciate my father and grandmother for. The result of my “overbearing”(yes I’ve been told I’m overbearing for giving a shit about my kids health) has been two very healthy, active, and competitive kids. My son is pure sports, workout, and outdoors stuff. My daughter is this crazy wild thing that wears tutus and has her Barbie in her stroller, but she low crawls through mud and loves hiking (I always end up carrying her) as well as chasing down her brother.
This didn’t just happen; it is the product of two hard working parents who aim to give our kids experiences over things. This is where the time and attention comes in. I built my kids an obstacle course this past weekend by getting some free tires from Town Fair Tire and arranging it in a way that it lines up with their swingset. I then ran them through the actions they had to take and watched them fall on their faces on the tires, run around the house, do their pushups, etc. (sorry for the rant, they make me proud).
It isn’t all fun outdoor activities though. Do you know how much patience is required to listen to your child try to read through something? I lost my composure one day when my son refused to read ‘pinch’ and kept saying ‘pink’ because he learned that –ch sometimes sounds like a ‘K’. The investment is worth it and it teaches you how strong or weak your ‘frame’ really is.
This brings us to the issue we’re facing. While I’m out and about and my wife and I are teaching our kids about living life, a majority of parents have their kid plugged in front of a screen, eating fast food weekly, and desserts are an expectation not a treat. So my lean active kids are in the minority, which makes them look bad because they are the ‘different’ ones. Childhood is not a disease; it’s just that the standard of active healthy kids has fallen so low that normal child behavior has become ‘unnatural’.
Do not let this idea be pushed into your child’s mind. For that matter don’t second guess yourself as the parent. Be the father who sets the example by exercising and including them in exercises. Instead of a family trip to the movie theater or out to eat – go hiking and teach them about the wildlife. So many people think there are in shape because they aren’t on the show ‘My 700lb Life’. But if you
Don’t get so focused on self improvement that you lose sight of your children. They need to see the world with the perspective of the Red Lens from the onset. Your sons need to be confident, competitive, humble, always improving boys/Men. Your daughters need to be confident woman who earn their respect and never look to advance through their looks. Be the Man you want her to end up with some day.
Ask yourself this, when is the last time you sat down with your kid and had him/her write something (a letter to their hero or whatever) held a ‘homeschooling’ session where you tested their knowledge, or when is the last time you taught them about proper exercise diet and healthy habits???
You can’t deflect all child rearing to the woman as she simply doesn’t have the same mental capacity that you do for the really important matters such as doing what is right, having a code of honor, refusing to use the word can’t, etc.
The fucks who have waged a war against Masculinity are doing the same for healthy living. This is what’s happeningand I see it only getting worse.
When it comes to parenting, do what is right and not what is popular. Set the example and understand that yes, your kids will be influenced by their school friends and teachers. Build their core values around doing what is right and seeing the truth and not what they want to see. They may be able to change the direction our society is heading.
Repeat After Me
Just like Alpha Men are a rarity, so are healthy kids and that is fucking pathetic.
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.