The Christmas Season & The Family Alpha

It's not the price, it's the meaning.

It’s not the price, it’s the meaning.

As your Family’s ‘Alpha’ the joy or rage experienced this holiday period rests squarely on your shoulders. Kids that are laughing or those that are crying, a wife that is blowing you or a wife that is blowing up – all of it is on you; so don’t fuck it up.

We have 10 days (9 not counting Christmas itself) before December 25. Christmas is one of the biggest, if not the biggest holidays of the year and it’s knocking on your door.

Do you have a gameplan?

I certainly hope so because there are several aspects to this season that need to be dealt with. As a masculine man you can get exactly what it is you want from this holiday season, if you can lead your family to that promised land.

  1. Gifts
  2. Lights
  3. Family
  4. Sex
  5. Magic

I view these to be the top 5 areas that need to be given the highest priority when dealing with this season. Remember, I have a 6 and 3 year old so your ranking system may be different.


I’ve come across a lot of posts on the Red Pill forums concerning what to give as a ‘new’ Red Pill man. Many men have taken control of their lives and have decided to embrace their masculine selves and reclaim the position as The Family Alpha of their clan. Now, they are petrified of giving a ‘beta’ weaksauce gift.

This fear is justified, yet it points to a much larger issue with the individual which is, you give a gift you want to give, not one you feel obligated to give. Whether it is your friends, society, or some online forum – you should give your wife and kids what you want them to have.

If you want to get outside more with your son, then why in the fuck are you buying him the X Box One or another PS4 game? If you want your daughter to read more, then why is she getting make up and jewelry? The same goes for your wife, if you want her to become more sexually open or live life in a more carefree manner, then why in the fuck are you buying her jewelry and the brand new thing a commercial or magazine told you to get? Keeping up with the Jones’ is weaksauce and unmanly. Get your family gifts that are also investments in their personal growth.


Advertisements have you stuck in the ‘beta-loop’. It’s the loop where you think your kids will love you more if you buy them things (they won’t) or that your wife will find you more attractive and fuck you more if you buy her expensive jewelry (she won’t).

What your family needs is a leader, not more ‘things’.

A Red Pill gift is one that actually means something.

A Red Pill gift is one that actually means something.

Get your son a book that impacted you. Something like Gates of Fire or Hatchet. Or you could get him a BB Gun so you could teach him about ‘firearm’ safety and create an opportunity where you and him go out together, to shoot soda cans as men in a men only environment. It doesn’t matter if it’s super high tech, the thing shoots and therefore the boy will love it.

On top of that you’re providing him with an opportunity to become his own man, another step in his ‘Rite of Passage‘ if you will. It doesn’t have to be a BB gun, it could be his first kettlebell, heavy bag, barbell, paintball gun, throwing knives, a book collection, etc. The point is, you get him something that you want him to have and experience, fuck what is popular or society is pimping to people this week. That crap is weaksauce and will be obsolete in 2 months.

The Family Alpha marches to his own drum, fuck conformity.

The same concept applies to the ladies. Your daughter needs to see that true masculinity does not cater to the message of a girls wants. Jewelry & shiny shit to make them happy? Fuck that noise.

Is your daughter artistic? Grab an easel. Does she dance? Build her a dance platform. Does she want to be a scientist or does she want to be a hairdresser? Cater the gift to what you the child desires and what you support. Get a telescope or microscope, buy her a makeup set or hair stuff. Buy her gifts that will improve whatever skill it is she is trying to develop. Don’t just walk down the girl aisle and grab shit off the shelves, you’re a better father than that. Don’t think, I don’t ‘get’ girls so I’ll go with a barbie she needs the same dedication as your boy and if you read this blog and the rest of the Manosphere than you should ‘get’ her. Cater to her personal growth and development in whatever field it is she desires and you want to support.

For your wife you need to be practical,  what does she want and what does she need? I’m still not sure if my wife reads this blog so I cannot use personal examples, but I look at what I want to see more of in my wife and I buy gifts that will support that. I’ll also throw in some gifts that have plenty of sexual innuendo and then I see what it is she wants, then I decipher her covert language and get her what it is she actually wants.

The cards I write always make her laugh and the biggest boxes always have the smallest presents. Fuck with your wife as often as possible. Not like a dickhead, but rather like the boy who had a crush on the girl at the playground. He liked her a lot, so what did he do? He’d pull her hair. Make her feel like you just get her through your gifts, then pull her hair.

Shine like a star by keeping everyone cool, calm, and collected.

Shine like a star by keeping everyone cool, calm, and collected.


My children are 6 years old and 3 years old and they fucking love driving around looking at lights. Provide your family with that opportunity. This season comes once a year, don’t keep putting other ‘priorities’ ahead of the one that will live in your child’s memory forever.

My wife and I recently decided to drive to one of the biggest light displays around our area. We ended up in two hours of traffic. It could have gone one of three ways.

  1. I drive back home telling the kids the wait was just too long and we’d try again another day (quit)
  2. We stay in traffic and all end up ripping each other’s face off in a fit of traffic induced rage (weak)
  3. We make it an adventure and make it to our destination (Family Alpha)

My wife turned to me after a 1/2 hour asking if we should go home. Without hesitation I said, “No, we’ll ride this out and it will be worth it.” My wife trusted my guidance, but I could tell she wasn’t too sure the kids could make it. Recognizing her unspoken doubts I said, “Guys, do you want to play a magical Christmas game?” They said yes and I made up some bullshit ‘I Spy’ game on the lights around us that lasted the next 1hr 1/2

We eventually made it to the exhibit and as we walked to the first display my daughter, in her beautiful, little innocent voice says, “Wow, that’s amazing…” I could have wept then and there (I didn’t, but it was close..too close). We never would have had that moment if I had chosen either of the other two paths. Push through for your kids and make it enjoyable for all of them. Even if you’re stressed the fuck out in traffic, just smile and play some tunes and find joy in the moment. You can’t control traffic, but you can control your reaction to it. Be a masculine male and control what you can and disregard the rest.


During the Christmas season it is highly likely that you’ll see every character & stereotype of family member there is. The people you love and those you hate, and those you didn’t remember you were related to, yet here they are…

Remember this: you control you; you do not control your wife. If she wants to go see her parents the same day you want to see yours, either see both during the day or split up. Don’t make it a thing, just do what you have to do and choose to go wherever you’ll get the most joy. We don’t have enough time in this world trying to make everyone else happy by operating under the plan that is most convenient for them.

If you have to see that shitty uncle or pain in the ass in-law, remind yourself that you can learn something from everyone. You either see what you do want to be like or what you don’t want to be like. Got that drunk uncle? Remind yourself why you don’t get blitzed in front of people. Do you have that athletic shit hot nephew? Remind yourself to keep your foot on the gas with your PT. You can always learn something wherever you are and you need to, The Family Alpha never gets complacent.


It's good to be on the Naughty list

It’s good to be on the Naughty list

Holiday ‘stress’ isn’t a thing, it’s a failure of leadership. Your wife would not feel ‘overwhelmed’ if you were properly leading her, ensuring effective time management is being implemented into the daily activities and preparation for the holidays. When you’re the man with the plan who gets everything to just fall into place, it doesn’t matter how hard you worked, just act like ‘it just happened’. and she’ll take note. You don’t do it for her, you do it because it has to be done, I’m just telling you, women see this shit.

As you get the kids pumped, the family laughing and smiling, and are viewed as the top dude during this festive time of year – your wife is going to be all over you. As the Family Alpha you know that you don’t lead your family for sex, you lead your family because it is your job as the masculine presence. The sex you receive is an entirely separate (yet related) non-negotiated aspect of marriage. She’ll fuck you because this time of year is one where people are happy, appreciative, and at times worried/stressed/overwhelmed/etc. yet your wife isn’t any of the negatives due to you, because you own that shit and kept her on the level.

Hanging lights on the house won’t give her the tingles, but getting down, turning them all on, smiling while slapping her on the ass certainly will. She doesn’t care how hard you work, you just have to make her feel like she has a ‘catch’ and it’s on. You can showcase all of your talents in front of friends and family, thus providing her with the external validation she craves from others. You’re not the drunk lush on the coach, you’re the dude engaging people, making merry, and working kino everywhere. She will see the looks you get & respect you’re shown and if you play it right this will lead to some of the most merry fuckfests of the winter – ‘Tis the season.


The lights, the sense of community, the feeling of giving and sharing…Christmas is a magical time of year. Enjoy it, don’t get so caught up in the consumer aspect of getting the best ‘thing’ but rather immerse yourself in the joy and tranquility Christmas provides friends and family. As the Family Alpha you set the pace, it is your standard that others are going to meet. If you want your family to turn things around going into 2016, then set the mark and follow your own guidance.

Merry Christmas from The Family Alpha

I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.


3 thoughts on “The Christmas Season & The Family Alpha

  1. Excellent post.
    I’m getting shit tested because we are on a budget and said we could not afford right now a bike for my almost 4 yo son. She says “it’s your only son and you wont buy him a bike and bla bla” while I’ve already saved twice the bike’s worth for his school enrollment fee.
    I dont want to get the crappy heavy cheap bike that he will outgrown in a year. Now Im off to find the best sport/oudoors related gift I can come up with that is within our budget, and I bought a couple of books to my wife that I hope will make her join me in my financial efforts.

  2. Pingback: Xmas & NYE | TheFamilyAlpha

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