Lifting is step #1 towards reclaiming your masculinity

Either you're a strong man or you aren't - your opinion on this doesn't matter as much as your wife's view of your level of strength.

Either you’re a strong man or you aren’t – your opinion on this doesn’t matter as much as your wife’s view of your level of strength.

If you don’t believe in you, then why should your family??

So you’ve discovered The Manosphere and have decided that you are going to take back your masculinity, own your shit, and lead your family. Before you start throwing around AWALT, Dread, and deciding to have a ‘Coming to Christ‘ moment with your wife (which I have said time and again IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA) you need to get your fitness in check. I personally believe that your actions should do all of the talking. You don’t just sit your wife down and act like a Somali pirate saying, “Look at me, I’m the captain now” that’s fucking gay and your wife will laugh in your face. You don’t just ‘become’ a leader, you earn it.

This is why I believe that Fitness is the first brick we are laying in the foundation from which you are building the ‘new you‘. The reason for that is Fitness provides the most immediate effect on your psyche. Simply put – Iron doesn’t lie. You will immediately learn a few things.

  1. The King is alone, heavy is the head that wears the crown. If you don’t have a limitless reserve of confidence in yourself, you’re going to crumble and end up exactly where you were before, a beta provider weaksauce fuck. You don’t want that and neither do I.
  2. You’re weak. You may think it is acceptable that you’ve put on a few pounds as your married, that’s what happens right? You have to be a physical presence for yourself, your family, and for society to even give you a notice. Dread only works if your wife views you as a man who can get other women. Women know women, they know that nobody is checking out the dad with a white shirt showing under his polo and stained khakis that show his stomach spilling over the belt.
  3. Lifting kills that desire for instant gratification. This venture takes time and that patience and diligence will carry over to the other aspects of your life. Learn to calm the fuck down and take your time. Do it right, not fast.

Again, the Iron doesn’t lie, either you can lift it or you can’t there is no place for your male hamster or rationalizing it away. Are you strong enough? Yes or No? Why?

The confidence that you will gain through your relationship with the iron will lead to a newly found believe in your sense of self. You will know your body more intimately than ever before. You will know what you are capable of and the strength you are developing will be noticed by those around you. If you want to be the Master of Tingles you need to have a body that makes women wet. Fuck what women say, watch their actions as it’s what they do that truly matters. If your wife says she hates ‘muscular men’, what she is actually saying is there is no way she would have married a loser and the reason you aren’t muscular is because she doesn’t like that. It saves her own ego and if you understand women’s solipsistic nature, this is an obvious example.

The next time you have sex watch as she grabs those hard triceps, holds onto your lats, or keeps touching your abs. The chick who ‘didn’t like muscles‘ is all about those new ‘hard‘ muscles you’ve built.

As for the instant gratification, the commitment needed to enter the gym day in and day out is fitness for your mind. You develop more self-discipline and remove the instant gratification that plagues many ‘men’ out there. The simple act of going to the gym is, in itself, improving your ‘self’. It also gets you away from your wife, developing your own life separate from her’s. My wife and I have a life together, but we also have lives’ apart. It keeps us from becoming needy, dependent, or desensitized to one another.

At this point it seems like a good time to ask the question. Are you working out as hard as you can? Are you lying in bed at night thinking ‘Tomorrow I will take action and start working towards removing this flab’ – then waking up and not making any progress towards that goal?

You are a Man, act like it.

Embrace the pain of lifting. You cannot move forward until you complete step one, reading the books, making posts on Reddit, understanding the theories – they do nothing if you are not able to implement the knowledge. Until you are confident and look like a man who owns his shit, the application is going to fail. You cannot come at your wife from a position of power if you are winded walking to the bedroom to have the discussion.

I’m a Moderator of Married Red Pill, a subreddit dedicated to men who are married and are looking to reclaim or maintain their masculine nature in marriage. There have been several instances where guys have posted ‘I’m not building attraction / Dread isn’t working / We still aren’t having sex yet’ and instead of viewing this to be the consequences of poor application and accepting responsibility, they blame ‘The Red Pill‘. Yet, when the question of Do you even lift Bro? Is asked, the answer is almost always a long winded answer that could be summarized as NO.

You must lift heavy weights and you must build that sense of self-satisfaction in the gym. When you hit that PR you will think, ‘I did that through hard work’, then you’ll realize that the same dedication needs to be applied to every facet of your life – Hard work pays off.

It’s also important to note that it isn’t motivation you need, it is self-discipline. Harnessing the two is the most optimal way to reach goal accomplishment.

Motivation burns like a match, Hot & Fast. You can get it from a speech or a YouTube video, but it doesn’t translate well to self-improvement. You will only make progress when you take that match of motivation and use it to light the ‘Log of Discipline’.

Fun Fact: Fit People Have More Fun

Fun Fact: Fit People Have More Fun

Stop living in denial and thinking that being 30lbs overweight is normal or in any way acceptable. Being a Dad does not mean you should be rocking a beer gut. You need to be strong and in shape, there’s no excuse for your lack of vascularity or any indication of having abdominal muscles, that’s just laziness. I take these weaknesses more personally than I should, but when I see weak, dadbods at the beach I am reminded that the reason there is such a shitty stereotype for married men is because of these fucking fucks who let themselves go. You want to know the real reason your wife cheats or won’t fuck you, because you’re pathetic and there are better men who deserve her pussy and attention. The truth is a bitter one, but your wife will fuck you if you’re a high value man and there are no high value men who don’t have their physical fitness on point. Even the rich dudes who are fat get cheated on. Want your marriage to be ‘successful’ and last? Lift heavy fucking weights.

My brother in law took the photo that is at the top of this page. We were doing squats and he took it without my knowledge because he thought it would look cool which it does. I proceeded to call him a fag for taking pics while lifting but regardless of how gay it is to take photos while hitting the iron, I sent it to my wife while she was at work. She sends me nudes so from time to time I return the favor.

Her reply was that it looked fucking sexy and when she got home we role played Personal Trainer and Client the sex was awesome though looking back she never paid me for my time…

Do you realize that your wife watches what you do? If you are repeatedly making excuses as to why you aren’t in shape, she views you as a weak bitch, so – Stop being that weak bitch and take action.

If you want them to reclaim your masculinity and have it improve your marriage, then you need to stop rationalizing the Iron away like a woman and get your ass in shape. Only then will the rest of the benefits of being a masculine Family Alpha fall into place.

Set the example for your wife, kids, and other men to follow. Be the standard from which excellence will be measured. The better you look the harder every other man will have to try to get your woman’s attention.

I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.


16 thoughts on “Lifting is step #1 towards reclaiming your masculinity

  1. This is excellent advice. Hopefully more men will read this and heed the lessons.

    My wife also told me that she doesn’t like guys with muscles. What I found humorous was that when I first asked her out, I was indeed lifting (a lot) and driving a Corvette. I don’t think I would have had a chance with her had I not been lifting in the first place.

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  12. Great Article Hunter, I just purchased your book and I am finding your blog very refreshing, even though i’m young in my 20s and single, it still applies, i’m in the gym hitting the iron 6 days a week like clock work, my friend asked me the other day, “Where do you get your agility?” I told him 5 days a week of cardio, he took a big gulp and proceeded to pretend like he wanted to make a change. They never do, because it requires everything you spoke about in points 1. 2. and 3. and this upsets and causes most people to faulter…we are men damnit, and we should act like them. Kudos Brother, Ryan

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