Modern Day Agoge: A man’s path to raising a masculine son in a feminized society

I’ve always been a fan of historical warriors – then the movie 300 came out and it planted the seed in my mind that someday I would have to raise the next warrior.

The movie came out in 2006. I had just graduated boot camp, and I felt like I could single handedly take on the world. I had finished my Rite of Passage into manhood and was now on my own, in the best shape of my life, and fucking motivated as all hell. I was radiating limitless energy & confidence; basically I was like every other masculine 19 year old that just entered the military.

I distinctly remember watching the movie in A school and discussing with a friend the scene where the boys enter Agoge. I told them that at the age of 7, my son would begin his Rite of Passage.

*Fast Forward 3 years*

The little man turned 7 last week and it has begun.

Color Code it to make it easy

Color Code it to make it easy

Above you’ll see a calendar. That calendar is color coordinated (with some help from his 4yo sister) to show what days we are training each topics.

I do not homeschool my kid, yet I educate him enough that it may as well be considered homeschooling.

I feel that as a parent it is your responsibility to foster the mental and physical growth of your child, because it is your child. Teachers are on a budget, limited to a certain amount of time/curriculum, and they teach a class that is geared towards the female student population.

Nobody is going to invest more time or energy into my kids than me. While the teacher educates them on how to pass a test, I will educate them on how to learn, how to improve their thinking, and educate them on topics that will help with life and not just a test.

Because of this I have broken down his education to:

Philosophy

Teaching him to actually think and not just memorize. To question the fundamentals of life and get to the why he is doing what he does.

Boys need to expand their mind, have those deep discussions and ponderings. I used to think that philosophers were pussies who stayed in the city while real warriors went out to fight. This shitty preconceived notion came from the fact that my dad never taught me a thing about philosophy or the badass philosophers whose were were written down and passed on through the ages.

I missed out on Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Seneca, Descartes, Locke, and Epictetus plus many more until I was 28 – my son will not have to wait so long.

Art

Getting the boyo to appreciate the beauty of reading, writing, painting, woodworking, cooking, etc. My wife will be involved with this as she has a very artistic personality. The kid needs to recognize that he does not have to rely on ‘mommy’ to make him a fancy meal as he ages.

He will not rely on getting a girlfriend in order to eat a quality meal at home. Too few men are capable in the kitchen. My wife loves to cook and does it 90% of them time, but we both know that if I wanted to, I could also cook my ass off.

Even if it is as simple as watching some YouTube videos on how Da Vinci was both artist as well as inventor and showing him that the arts can be as masculine endeavor as the rest of them.

Health & Fitness

Teaching him the importance of balancing out a strong mind with a strong body. Focusing on how to eliminate the clutter that gets into our thoughts and the processed ‘excess’ in our foods. Plus, a healthy serving of kettlebells.

He will have to do some heavy lifting with me and learn to appreciate the food he is putting in his body as it is fuel for performance. He will eat to live and not live to eat. More importantly he will know why and how he can achieve this.

Writing

I love to write and feel it is an important aspect of life. Being able to look at where you were at that point in your life, to look inside the head of your ancestors and complete strangers. There is something beautiful about looking at black squiggly lines, possibly written by someone who is long dead, and actually having them give you a physical feeling, it’s like the soul of the author reached up and touched you.

Outdoors

I just finished a 4 day excursion on the Appalachian Trail, I loved the feeling of being surrounded by the silence of nature. Of not having the comforts of modern living and having confidence in your ability to survive if you are ripped from the elements of modern day amenities.

Hiking, climbing, plants, animals, camping, etc. It will get him to appreciate the nice things we have and more importantly he’ll learn to find comfort in the discomfort. He’ll find meaning in being cold & wet as well as learning how to get warm and dry to stay alive.

Science

He added this one to the mix (the pink boxes) because he said that he would like to conduct science experiments. I was pumped as I have now found a reason to blow things up, make volcanoes, and do all sorts of other cool shit with him.

These topics will be discussed at length and different aspects will be discussed throughout the months. I’m sure the message will change as he grows and the topics will become increasingly more complex – but the point remains that this is geared towards life improvement and life understanding.

The daily topics are only a portion of his training. He will also receive more chores as well as more freedom. I will expect him to exert himself physically in all of his sports endeavors (football/baseball), which he participates in by choice and when things don’t go the way he wants, I’ll sit down and break it down with him.

I will introduce him to firearms, archery, other weaponry as well as physical combat.

I’ve started asking him more why questions. Why are you doing it like that? Why do you think that person said this? etc.

I want him to start observing and understanding the actions and motivators of others. I want him to see why people think the way they do and how he can influence them to get what he needs as well as placing himself in positions to succeed. I want him to learn to be both genuine as well as manipulative.

I don’t have a ‘no throwing the ball in the house’ rule and I am always there to wrestle with him. When his friends sleep over, they wrestle and fight and cry then fight again the entire time. I don’t shut it down, I let them be boys. Someone needs to foster that natural masculine power and I have no problem doing so in my home. Let them throw down, so long as they aren’t breaking bones and bleeding all over the place, who cares?

It’s good for them – violence, competition, aggression, sport, etc. I allow all of it and only step it when things get out of control or safety becomes an issue.

Every day him and I will step away from the wife and daughter/sister and have a man discussion. It is more of a facilitated talk by me, but there are days where something is really on his mind and he will go to town asking question after question.

He was really hung up on the discussion of Stoicism vs Epicureanism. The kid is 7 and wants to know why we would not let bad things bother us. It was very interesting and in my explanation, I learned a little about myself and felt like Epictetus as I was saying, those things aren’t bad as long as we don’t interpret them as being bad.

This is my way of fighting off the influence public school is going to have on his mind. Again, I’m sure the program will evolve over time, but the core pillars will remain and it is in this aspect I think all parents should pay attention. Why is it weird to have your kid write a book report for you, to solve problems, to run experiments? That should be the norm, yet many parents reading this fall into the ‘screen time’ category. Plugging a child in front of a screen after hours of numbing school will kill any genuine aspect of their raw ‘self’. They’ll become yet another desensitized, weak male in our society suffering from intense levels of self repression and self hate.

There are aspects of life that are not covered in public or private school – it is your responsibility to fill in those gaps and help your son remain a masculine warrior. One who does not need the manosphere or anything like it as he will simply live a genuine life to the grave.

This is how we get boys to express their masculinity vice repressing it. This is how fathers can help fight back.

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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14 thoughts on “Modern Day Agoge: A man’s path to raising a masculine son in a feminized society

  1. Well done! I want to raise my kids like this someday when I have them. Parents need to take responsibility for their child’s education as well. It’s not just all on the teacher (I am a teacher, so I know how parents can have unrealistic expectations about their child’s learning).

    As far as the “masculine” vs. “feminine” debate, it’s just important to let kids develop their own character – whatever that may be. They need to learn respect for others as well as themselves, and that actions and words have consequences.

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  2. What topics will you introduce to your girl as she ages? I would strongly suggest Gardening/Agriculture. That is an asset good to have. It will raise her value as she would be able to provide food.

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    • My daughter will receive similar training. Critical thinking, reading, writing, poetry.

      My daughter is a fan of all things outdoors so gardening & agriculture are certainly something both beneficial for life knowledge as well as something she really enjoys and would love to learn more about.

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      • Yo shawty – I was curious if you had put any thought into what rites of passage would look like for your daughter? On the one hand, I’d hope she’s a catch, and has the tools to find a good man. However, if there aren’t any men worth having, I hope she has the tools to last without becoming bitter and then unworthy of a good man.

        It’s tricky.

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      • It is tricky and the concept of a female version of a ‘Rite of Passage’ is something I will be covering in the near future.

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  3. Try and find a good masculine mentor for your son also. My son has a friend who’s dad has an army background. He looks up to him and can teach him some things that I would never be able to. Remember no matter how great a dad/mentor you think you are or would like to be there a limitations to what you can teach. Know your weaknesses and find someone who can help.
    Choose wisely….

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  4. Interessting. What you would teach is a nice question to ask, as it shows what you value. Even if I don’t really plan that far (I’m 21), it’s helpful even to me, because it shows the area where I’m lacking/not good enough to teach yet. It’s a bit like Einstein said; if you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it.

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  5. Pingback: The Burden of Family | TheFamilyAlpha

    • It depends on the day, usually I’ll start with a passage from a book or show him a video on YouTube then deconstruct from there. Some days, like science or art we may just throw some paint around or build something/blow something up.

      As for resources/sites – break down what you’d like to teach him into 5 groups. For me it was Math, Philosophy, Science, Art, Writing with some history and health/fitness. From there I decided on which block I wanted to build first (the foundation). Then piece by piece I created this sort of ‘curriculum’.

      Email if you’d like to bounce ideas back and forth.

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  6. Pingback: Modern Day Agoge Part II | TheFamilyAlpha

  7. Pingback: What to do when your son gets into his first fight. | TheFamilyAlpha

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