I’d like to make it clear from the get-go, I have never seen a single episode of The Walking Dead. What I have seen is enough commercials and people who love to talk about it so I have an idea as to what the show is about. Keeping that in mind, when I think of The Walking Dead and try to relate it to the world we live in, what I envision is all of the fat men who are wandering around Target holding their woman’s purse. All of those brain dead Dadbod zombies who are going from consumption to consumption.
You know the cycle: Guy wakes up late, eats crappy food, consumes bitter coffee, climbs into vehicle and listens to commercialized music while heading to a job that he hates. He then does that job for 8 hours, wasting time scrolling on Facebook looking up girls from his high school days.
He then leaves his job, listens to shit music, gets home and has a sort of interaction with his family which kind of appears as conversation but absolutely nothing of substance is discussed.
He then works his way to the television and it’s here he remains until it’s time for bed.
Then repeat – for years…
- At no point in this daily cycle does this man generate a thought of his own.
- At no point does this man think, “hey, something isn’t right.’ He might get the feeling, that hunch of ‘something’ being wrong, but like all of his masculine tendencies, he bottles that hunch up and shoves it deep down, way beneath his love for Lena Dunham.
- At no point does this man, who has had kids, think, “Maybe I should get involved in raising the standard of my children and their standard of life and self.” You see, his son has no idea how to be a man as his dad is more likely to support him dressing up like Hillary Clinton than teaching his that boys and girls are not equals and his daughter has had a toxic example of what relationships are supposed to look like for so long that she thinks in marriage the man is supposed to be a weak doting buffoon.
Gentlemen, we don’t need to watch a TV show on AMC to get our zombie fix. We have real world walking dead all around us.
It is with the greatest misfortune that a majority of these walking dead are walking dads. It is as though as soon as a man reproduces his brain becomes numb to any internal or external stimulus which will invoke passion or masculinity. It seems that the only motivation that sparks up is that of consumption. Dads consume baby gifts, TVs, Beers, cars, houses, shitty clothes, and gym equipment which is never used (If it’s bought at all).
Ask any father you know whether he has read to or with his kid in the past month and you’d be hard pressed to find one who can say yes.
Ask one of the dads you know if he has brought his son to the outdoors or a gym to teach him something about the world or the beauty of physical strength – I doubt you’ll get a yes.
Ask a man if he’s ever had a conversation with his daughter about the importance of strength and smarts as opposed to physical beauty for advancement in life – do you get crickets?
Now, ask the dads around you if they know who A is from pretty little liars. Ask them if they know all the lines from Family Guy or The Simpsons. Ask these men if they’ve got the newest phone or their wife has the best iPad and I’m sure they’ll be fucking pumped to tell you how fucking cool their gadgets are.
These ‘men’, they truly believe in the weak mantra of Happy Wife Happy Life
What can we do to fight these plugged in zombies?
Drop the cure of masculinity here and there via being a living example of what’s possible.
The solution to this epidemic is not to cut the heads off the zombies; but rather, to offer the cure. Some of these dudes are lost causes, do not expend too much energy on their behalf – if a man wants redemption, it won’t take much of a push as they’re already on the edge.
The cure for this zombie apocalypse is masculinity. Raw, powerful, lifesaving masculine power is what will cure these zombies, it’s what will kill the Walking Dad.
It’s not just fathers, but the point remains that married men with kids are the hardest hit group of men out there. They are the population I have found myself a part of (Married w/ kids – not walking dad), so it’s the group that has received the most of my attention. We need to act as examples and lay some lines here and there that inject the truth of reality into these lifeless souls.
Maybe it will enter the blood stream and cure the individual or maybe it will dissipate and the zombie will continue to live its perfect weak consumer lifestyle it has up to this point.
The consequences of being one of these ‘Walking Dads’ goes way beyond having a dadbod and being afraid of conflict.
Let me paint a few pictures to illustrate the vast range of consequences that come from being a part of the Walking Dads:
- Dadbod zombie is walking down the street with his daughter who resents him, son who despises him, and wife who hasn’t been attracted to him for the past 5 years. They come across a group of thugs who view them to be easy pickings as the dad is an obvious pushover and the rest of the family is oblivious to the threat as they haven’t had a masculine leader to prepare them for the evil of the world.
Wife loses purse, husband and son get broken jaws, and daughter is traumatized from threats of thugs.
- Hillary Clinton wins election and an entire city erupts in rage as the system is rigged and the population can no longer bottle their rage at this fact up, so riots rip through the city.
Walking dadbod doesn’t know what to do so he sits inside with his girls and cries by their side. Days go by and still, nobody assumes the role of leader to help the family out of this situation. They live in the city, the streets aren’t safe, the stores are closed, and it’s going to be another few days before it’s safe to leave their property. The family suffers, everyone is emotionally drained, and lack of preparation devastates the family.
- Dadbod comes home to find his wife fucking another man. He is a poor boy who makes minimum wage, yet he is shredded and confident as fuck. Wife says, “What? I needed a real man and you haven’t fucked me in months.” Of course beta zombie husband has wanted to fuck her hard, but it never came to fruition as he was a nice guy and nice zombie men don’t force sex.
Now he tells her he will take her back and he is sorry for not being the man she needed (See: Cuck).
- Walking Dad shuffles his soft fat ass into the Dr’s office where the family Dr. tells him that his heart is starting to fail and if he doesn’t take immediate action he is going to die before he’s 55.
- Zombie man has to watch his kids play in the ocean while he wears a shirt, has to watch his family zip line while he hands out below, too heavy for the wires, and has to sit on the sideline while the rest of his family has amazing experiences because he lacks conditioning, strength, and is too heavy to go on any ride.
I could keep going, but I’ll stop because it fucking sucks to write this. This is the reality many men are facing and it’s fucking depressing. Too many men are nothing more than walking wallets to their wife and kids.
It’s time to make a change; gentlemen it’s time to take back what has been stripped of you – your fucking balls and masculinity.
Draw a line in the sand, today.
Fuck that, right now draw a line in the sand and say, “It ends here”
Start by refusing to reward failure, do not allow others to disrespect you or your opinion on certain matters – Make your voice heard.
From there, earn the loyalty and respect that is taken by masculine men. Get control over your nutrition, grow some muscles and strength by getting your ass under the iron. Start running and doing bodyweight exercises. Then add in some reading; remember, mental fitness is as important as physical so make time to train your mind while you’re training your body.
Unfuck your sex life; your wife is a woman and needs you to be a god damn man – step up. Sure, it sucks that you’ve been a doormat for the past X amount of years, but those years are gone so reclaim your role in this family in the here and now.
If you’ve made it this far then you are now presented with a choice. You can choose to reclaim your masculinity and live life as a real man or you can join the growing population of the Walking Dad – choose wisely; if you aren’t with masculine men, then you’re against them.