Day #2: Stop Avoiding It

Day #1

Yesterday Recap: Each day I’ll do a brief recap from the day before. Day #1 received significant support and we have hundreds of men following the program. I hope the momentum continues.

My fear is that bad habits will overcome initial motivation as it’s not motivation but rather discipline which is needed.

Men,

Don’t reward yourself with a drink after work if you’ve given it up for the month. Don’t jerk off when your wife isn’t around because that’s the only way you can fall sleep or that you ‘need to relax’.

This is about doing it differently, it’s about doing it right.

It’s so easy to say yes when some offers you a smoke or drink. You must say no.

Show yourself that you’re worthy of the life you feel you deserve. There are no second chances, you’re either all in or you aren’t.

If you fail, confess to it and try to continue on, but share it as hiding it and pretending you’re still marching with the real men will only drive your self hate to greater heights.

This is about reclaiming your masculine nature. You’re worth the physical and mental pain required to complete that task.

Suffer with me for this month and you’ll forever be able to claim the glory of being an original Man of March.

Reminder: The rules of Men of March:

  1. You will not masturbate, edge, or touch your dick for pleasure during the entire month. You can have sex, but not with yourself.
  2. You will not watch porn, sexy gifs, look at provocative photos or anything of the sort as this will lead to you breaking rule one.
  3. You will do 100 pushups every day. Don’t give the ‘time’ excuse, or any excuse as I don’t give a fuck, just do them. Break it up however you have to, but before you sleep at night, 100 must be done; chest day or not.
  4. You must start reading a book. Even if it’s just a few pages a day at first you must be reading a book. I will be reading New World Ronin by Victor Pride this month. You don’t have to finish the book in the month, just actively read a few pages every day to build the habit. With that said, my goal is to finish the book this month.
  5. You have to start giving genuine answers to people. If someone asks if you’re busy, don’t say “No” when you are. You have to stop avoiding conflict at the expense of your true self. If your wife asks a question, give an answer, “I don’t know/care” Is not an answer a leader gives to his crew. Start knowing, start caring, and start telling the world your true opinion.
  6. If you have a vice, remove it. You have to be honest with yourself; if you’re overweight and drinking to numb or are smoking pot and being unproductive, that shit has to go. This isn’t a ‘dry’ challenge, if alcohol or pot isn’t a problem good to go. If it’s more than that, leave it be for the month.
  7. Every day there will be a challenge, you must complete it.
Life isn't about hiding from storms, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Life isn’t about hiding from storms, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Day #2: Stop Avoiding It

There’s something you’ve avoided dealing with for weeks, months, or possibly even years.

I don’t know what that something is, but you do.

It’s difficult for you right now, as you start thinking of what it could be. But it’s growing inside as you know what it is; but you’re so used to shoving it deep into your soul that sometimes, it isn’t the focus of your mind.

You forget about it.

Now there’s a lump building in your throat, because I’m not going to let you forget about it and you know that. You don’t want to fail this Men of March challenge and be ostracized from your brothers, but you don’t feel you’re ready to face it yet.

You are.

Heart’s beating a little faster, breathing is getting more shallow…

You know what it is

Listen to me, you’re going to stop avoiding it and you’re going to face it head on like a man.

There’s skeletons in everyone’s closet, but this isn’t a skeleton as they’re dead and this, this is very much alive.

That harsh truth you shove deep inside, it’s coming out and it’s coming out for good.

I told you this wasn’t going to be an easy month.

Brothers, it is absolutely critical that you do not put forth all of these efforts only to fall to pieces later on again as you have so many times before because the empire you built was on a weak foundation.

Holding the pain down and swallowing the reality you hate leads to there being gaps in your sense of ‘self’. You’ll never develop your masculine foundation if you can’t face all of who you are.

You aren't alone. If there was ever a chance to own your past and seize your future, that time is now.

You aren’t alone. If there was ever a chance to own your past and seize your future, that time is now.

I’ll provide some raw examples from men I’ve helped. Every example comes from a man who after messaging back and forth with me and taking ownership of his demons reached that level of total ownership of himself and his life. But, he had to face the music first and that’s not easy.

Avoidances:

  1. You are a terrible father. You know you should be more involved in your kid’s life but between working late, taking care of home matters you’re just too busy to stop and play with them. You keep thinking you’ll take them out on the weekends or you’ll take them on vacation, but you promised someone you’d help them, you aren’t feeling well, or you’d just rather ‘relax’ after such a long week at work; then you go back to work. Your kids have no father, they have a man who lives with them.
  2. Your wife doesn’t love you. She’s disgusted at how heavy you’ve gotten and she views you with judging eyes that say, “Why are you so fucking stupid?” You know she’s right; you are fat, you’ve stopped having a passion for anything in life, and you’re just too fucking tired to try anymore.
  3. You want to kill yourself but you’re too scared. You’ve thought of it, maybe you’ve half attempted it. If you’re reading this you failed or never went through and instead decided to just hate yourself and hate your life, but not enough to end it.
  4. You’re weak. You talk loud and bully people but it’s in an attempt to compensate in your lack of belief in your own strength. You’re the guy who talks a big game, but inside your screaming because of how insecure you are and if you were to be slapped across the face by a real man, you’re more likely to cry than fight back.
  5. You don’t know who you are. You aren’t living your life but merely existing nothing makes you feel You’re just an apathetic individual waiting for the clock to strike the final seconds of your life.
  6. You just want to be loved. Your wife doesn’t love you, your family doesn’t love you, and no matter how hard you try you just aren’t good enough…

This list could go on for pages, but that isn’t the point. These are but a few examples of what modern day men are feeling. It’s due to the fact that society pressures men, from birth, to repress who they are and their true feelings on anything.

Masculine men don't stay near the fire. They grab a torch and enter the darkness.

Masculine men don’t stay near the fire. They grab a torch and enter the darkness.

Today we break their hold.

Today you stop avoiding the harsh reality that there is a noose around your neck and that you’ve been balancing on a chair for days, weeks, months, or even years trying not to fall and lose it all.

The balancing game is done.

I’m untying your hands and handing you a knife; cut the rope and step down from the chair.

You are free.

Release the stress, stop pretending everything is OK, and let the emotions flood over you.

Challenge #2

  1. Do 100 push-ups.
  2. Face whatever it is that you have been too terrified to meet head on.

Maybe that means admitting to past abuses. Maybe it means telling a loved one or friend that they are toxic for what you want to do in your life and that you’ve got to head different ways.

Maybe for you it means sitting in front of a mirror and admitting that everything isn’t all right and that changes need to be made.

It will be tough to talk to your friends and family, but masculine men do what they have to do, not always what they want to do.

Whatever that thing is for you, don’t avoid it a moment longer or it will haunt you and sabotage any effort you make during this month.

Fight it brother, your fellow Men of March are here for you.

Wrapping up Day #2

Too many men are carrying around this weight on their soul. Some days it isn’t so bad, some days they feel like they can’t breathe, like the world is on their chest.

When you release the black cloud living in your heart, mind, and soul it’s like running out of air 10′ feet below the surface of the water, it takes every you have to kick, scrape, and claw to get there but when you face what you’re avoided you break the surface and you can finally breathe again.

Now, breathe deep and come up with a game plan on how you’re going to handle this today.

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46 thoughts on “Day #2: Stop Avoiding It

  1. Started yesterday and found I really do have time for everything as long as I didn’t sit my fat ass in front of the TV the moment I get home. Thanks for helping me to get moving again. Getting to 100 pushups was easier than I thought. Today will be tougher because haven’t been this sore in years, but it’ll get done.

    As encouragement to my brothers: I’m 57 in a couple of months and a 100 pounds overweight. I can do this, and so can you. I’m not too old; I’m not too fat; I’m not too weak, and neither are you.

    Today’s challenge is tough, but I’m all in, so it’s just another domino I’m going to knock over.

    Like

  2. Didn’t waste time pulling the punches, did ya? I tend to ponder on a lot of these things already; plenty of quiet time in the car so the mind wanders.
    Pushups are going to be rough these first week or two until I get used to doing that many.

    Like

  3. Day 2 is in the books brother. A few months ago I faced how I was being an absent father and husband. As I sat on the couch, feeling sorry for myself, I looked at the pictures of my children and realized that I had missed that past 5 YEARS of their lives. Unacceptable. I realized that I had been less of a man to my wife than she deserves. Why she stuck with me, I’ll never know, but I needed to change. Step #1 was to educate myself and I began reading about what was happening. That’s how I came across The Family Alpha (and others). These men helped me understand what it is to be a man and how to get back there. I knew all of what they said, but no one had told me about it in years.

    Here I am, months later. I’m 40lbs lighter, am heavily involved in my kids lives and have rekindled a marriage that was failing. It was all because of my self loathing and lazy ways. Fuck the old me. I am a new man now. The Family Alpha will help lead the way.

    Quit being a pussy. Stand up and be the man that your forefathers would be proud of – the man your family deserves.

    Educate yourself.
    Read.
    Stop jacking off.
    Lift!
    Lead!

    Like

  4. Day 2 is in the books brother. A few months ago I faced how I was being an absent father and husband. As I sat on the couch, feeling sorry for myself, I looked at the pictures of my children and realized that I had missed that past 5 YEARS of their lives. Unacceptable. I realized that I had been less of a man to my wife than she deserves. Why she stuck with me, I’ll never know, but I needed to change. Step #1 was to educate myself and I began reading about what was happening. That’s how I came across The Family Alpha (and others). These men helped me understand what it is to be a man and how to get back there. I knew all of what they said, but no one had told me about it in years.

    Here I am, months later. I’m 40lbs lighter, am heavily involved in my kids lives and have rekindled a marriage that was failing. It was all because of my self loathing and lazy ways. Fuck the old me. I am a new man now. The Family Alpha will help lead the way.

    Quit being a pussy. Stand up and be the man that your forefathers would be proud of – the man your family deserves.

    Educate yourself.
    Read.
    Stop jacking off.
    Lift!
    Lead!

    Like

  5. In 2014, I made the call to get a divorce after four years of marriage. We hated each other, got married for the wrong reasons, and had an unplanned kid, two years old at the time. That was hard. It still is. Financially. Emotionally.

    But there are two things that have made it the best decision I’ve ever made: one, my kid is awesome and it’s great to take pride in being her dad, instead of being pushed out and criticized for parenting my way. And two, getting my courage back. Many times I feel afraid, because I’m alone and I have no idea how to do what needs to be done. But courage is bravery in the face of fear. Fuck fear. Knowing that the buck stops with me, that I’m alone, that I’m answerable only to myself, I just walk up, count to 10, and do it. Just like getting up to the barbell.

    Today, I’m one of the guys who lifts the most in my gym. I’ve got game and I look good. But my avoidance is procrastinating on doing more for my career, basically because I hate this world and can’t figure out how to be happy as an employee, a cog in the machine. What do you do when you’ve spent your whole life learning how to bend over, hunch at a keyboard, stare at a screen, to take it, and then realize you can’t take it any more? Today’s realization is that I need to just knuckle down. I need to take it until there’s another way, and I need to get and be prepared for that opportunity.

    I know from experience that there’s no damn pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. All you get is to appreciate the journey. So, yes indeed TFA, stop avoiding it, embrace the pain and get it over with. It’s that or give up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your experience with the men.

      I work at a computer, I’ve found a way to get writing in during this time and use company time to plan my break from the company.

      Working for myself would be sweet, day by day I’m working towards making that a reality.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Day 1 went well – wrote out my goals and actually got excited I might, no, I will see results! 100 push-ups was killer but I competed them. Not looking forward to todays push-ups. Tonight, I’ll dig into this post when I get home. Thank you.

    Like

  7. When I first read that the challenge to identify that one thing I’ve been terrified to meet head on, I thought “Where do I start?”. When I saw the examples, I thought “that’s it – I’m weak” but on reflection, what’s more descriptive is “I’m a coward”. I live my life terrified of confrontation, never getting what I want or even asking for it. I will go out of my way to avoid a man I have issues with. At home, I devote myself to not pissing off my wife, rather than doing anything I want – and she still gets pissed off. My kids do not respect me – son in his 20s has told me “Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”. Heard the same thing from my brother just yesterday. Its a painful truth and is gone on my whole life

    Like

    • Your whole life until now, until this month.

      Create the new you who believes enough in himself to defend his opinion instead of shirking to the corner.

      *You* have to do it brother, prove that you’re worthy of the life you want by investing in yourself and embracing all of who you are.

      Maybe you are a coward, now that you’ve admitted it, *poof* you didn’t die.

      You’re a coward, now become a man who *used* to be a coward.

      Like

  8. I want to kill myself everyday. Im tired of being alone, miserable, with a dream that I just cant seem to get out of bed for. Im tired of this. Im tired of being tired.

    Like

    • I used to be that way too.

      I’d rather sleep all day because I wasn’t in reality when I slept.

      Then I found a way to find comfort in the discomfort.

      I found myself enjoying things like a breeze, the feeling of grass, reading.

      Keep getting out of bed and recognize that the fact that there’s no point to life is not damning, but rather liberating.

      There’s no point and you *are* going to die.

      You might as well **live**

      Like

      • Yea dude. I started yesterday and even did the 100 pushups. Which was really difficult for me. I thought my vice was smoking tobacco. And while I am going to stop, I need to ween myself off it. But that wasnt my vice….my REAL vice is social media (took me a while to understand that). So today I took all of it down. Erased it all, especially the dating apps. Social media is a distraction from real life. Im going to live, its day 2. Im not going to quit. I look forward to day 3. Thanks bro.

        Like

  9. This was the slap-up-side-the-head I needed, glad it’s coming from a man (men) whose words I value.

    Been lurking on TFA, MRP for over a year. Read MMMNG, SGM, and 16 COP but impimated (said) very little, kept knowledge locked inside my head, glad it was slapped out of me.

    This is my first post. My story, i’m not ready, not strong enough yet to put it into words. I know it won’t be easy and I have a lot of explaining to do, but the feeling of fear, hope, regression, and fighting to save my life is EXHILARATING!

    I accept your challenge and thank you and the community for allowing me this one last chance at living the life I was given.

    Arms are alive again, 200 done, 2900 to go this month!

    Like

  10. I’m a long-time lurker, first time writer. I don’t know where I’m at, relative to everyone else here, but I guess it doesn’t matter. This popped up in one of my feeds yesterday, and I thought, “What the hell, I’ll do it.”

    200 pushups in, goals set, and now facing my fears. Like sceej, I’ve lived in fear of confrontation. It’s not something you can fix in a day. But there was a confrontation I needed to have, to keep myself from my usual, lazy, go-along-to-get-along mentality. So I did it. And it felt like freedom.

    Looking forward to the rest of the month.

    Like

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  24. As soon as humanly possible I will get my friend onto this site. The content is too good to not share it with him. He needs to hear stuff like this! He doesn’t really do social media so it will be harder but somehow, someway I WILL GET IT DONE!

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