Day #12: Evening Ruminations

Day #1Day #2Day #3Day #4Day #5Day #6Day #7(Week One Done)

Day #8Day #9Day #10Day #11

Yesterday’s Recap: Each day I’ll do a brief recap from the day before. Day #11 had you perform an uncomfortable thought experiment. It forced you to view life without those whom you love.

For some this was exceptionally moving, bringing them close to tears; others found it liberating, discovering that if something were to happen that they would still come out of it a man capable of pursuing his mission.

Regardless of your personal interpretation of why the negative visualization was conducted, you are now a little more prepared for the potential of losing people in your life. Similar to playing the ‘What if’ game with your wife and kids, you are playing the ‘What if’ game with yourself and the man who comes out of that game is one who is a little more prepared for the time when disaster strikes in life.

Daily Reminder

Men,

Don’t reward yourself with a drink after work if you’ve given it up for the month. Don’t jerk off when your wife isn’t around because that’s the only way you can fall asleep or that you ‘need to relax’.

This is about doing it differently, it’s about doing it right.

It’s so easy to say yes when some offers you a smoke or drink.

You must say no.

Show yourself that you’re worthy of the life you feel you deserve. There are no second chances; you’re either all in or you aren’t.

If you fail, confess to it and try to continue on. Be sure to share it, hiding and pretending you’re still marching with the real men will only drive your self-hate to even greater heights.

This is about reclaiming your masculine nature. You’re worth the physical and mental pain required to complete that task.

Suffer with me for this month and you’ll forever be able to claim the glory of being an original Man of March.

Reminder: The rules of Men of March:

  1. You will not masturbate, edge, or touch your dick for pleasure during the entire month. You can have sex, but not with yourself.
  2. You will not watch porn, sexy gifs, look at provocative photos or anything of the sort as this will lead to you breaking rule one.
  3. You will do 100 push-ups every day. Don’t give the ‘time’ excuse, or any excuse as I don’t give a fuck, just do them. Break it up however you have to, but before you sleep at night, 100 must be done; chest day or not.
  4. You must start reading a book. Even if it’s just a few pages a day at first you must be reading a book. I will be reading New World Roninby Victor Pride this month. You don’t have to finish the book in the month, just actively read a few pages every day to build the habit. With that said, my goal is to finish the book this month.
  5. You have to start giving genuine answers to people. If someone asks if you’re busy, don’t say “No” when you are. You have to stop avoiding conflict at the expense of your true self. If your wife asks a question, give an answer, “I don’t know/care” inot an answer a leader gives to his crew. Start knowing, start caring, and start telling the world your true opinion.
  6. If you have a vice, remove it. You have to be honest with yourself; if you’re overweight and drinking to numb or are smoking pot and being unproductive, that shit has to go. This isn’t a ‘dry’ challenge, if alcohol or pot isn’t a problem good to go. If it’s more than that, leave it be for the month.
  7. Every day there will be a challenge, you must complete it.

Life is too short to waste a single breath holding on to hate.

Day #12: Evening Ruminations 

Holding on to a grudge is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.

Today’s post is coming later than normal. The purpose for this is two-fold.

  1. I didn’t want you to have the entire day to ponder the challenge, I specifically wanted you to face it later in the evening, as the day’s events are winding down.
  2. I wanted you to recognize that Men of Marchis going to end and that means pretty soon you’ll have to tackle these days on your own and maintain the momentum without the support of your brethren.

You’re cming out of the abyss, ensure you remove any remnants of your former, weaker self.

Challenge #12

  1. 100 Push-Ups
  2. Let your mind think deeply on the grudges you are carrying around in your life, then dispel them. Drop the pack of hate you carry day in and day out. That anger you think is fuel for growth is actually a toxic cancer which disguises itself as being beneficial.

Lies: Are you upset that the world lied to you? Are you angry that society told you that if you were a ‘nice guy‘ that women would love you and men would respect you?

Congratulations, you and millions of others are spending mental energy lashing out at a world that does not give the slightest fuck.

All the time and energy you are spending shaking your fists at those who led you astray and force fed you emasculating bullshit is for naught. Nobody cares that for however many years of your life you were chasing a joke and living in a different reality than that in which we all truly exist.

Let it go brother.

You have to stop raging at friends, family, men, and women who took advantage of your ‘nice guy’ behavior.

It isn’t their fault you took the role of pawn in the chess board of life, it’s yours.

Own that and make a promise to yourself that for the rest of your days you’ll live an authentic life and never again try to be a guy you think people will like.

That hate is going to erode any growth you may make and it will prevent you from reaching that level of optimal living which masculine men are capable of achieving.

Work: There are quite a few men out there who hate their job. The regret taking it and now they feel trapped, anchored to the paycheck.

Brothers, listen to me now, your company is designed to get the maximum amount of work out of you for the minimum amount of compensation.

You owe that business nothing.

You should have resumes ready to go on your computer and you should always be looking to either rise responsibility and pay or find a position which will set you up for greater life satisfaction.

For some that means taking a pay cut, but the hours you get back or reduction in stress is absolutely worth it.

Life is about living, it isn’t about how many hours you logged on the job.

Some men love their job and that is excellent, but a majority do not and to those men I say this.

Find a way to pursue your dream, the only other option is to work to help someone else pursue theirs.

Cheating: Maybe you cheated or maybe your girl did, whatever happened, you’re still together. If you decided to take her back then you made the decision that you wanted her in your life more than you cared about her indiscretion.

You are no longer allowed to hold it over her head.

If you took her back, then guilting her to submit to you will never provide you with that powerful feeling which comes from truly earning the submission of another.

If you feel the need to hold it over her head, instead you should just end the relationship.

If you cannot get over what she did, then let it go. There are other women out there, women who’ve never cheated on you and they can provide you with a great time without you having to flash back to how she was with another man when she was with you.

You’ve got to get over it or get out of the relationship, but constantly returning to the affair will erode the relationship and that grudge will kill your mind.

The same applies if you cheated and she keeps bringing it up.

It has to end.

That either means the relationship has to end or the two of you have to come to terms to not identifying with what happened and working together to reach a place where it is nothing more than a memory.

Regret: Too many men talk about how they, “Used to be somebody“. This obsession with the ‘glory days’ stems from the lack of being somebody currently.

I don’t talk of my high school football days nor do I talk of my Navy days, because those are things I did, but I’ve got plenty more I’m doing now which could be discussed.

Maybe you got married too young, maybe you were too beta and it ruined a relationship, maybe you missed your big shot at the pros because you got a DUI, whatever your ‘recurring regret’ is, you’ve got to let it go.

You know what it is, that one fucking thought which pops up when you’re feeling low or when you’re alone.

That thought that makes you daydream about how different your life would be if it had just gone the other way.

Find that thought and destroy it with your masculine confidence and power that lets you know that the you right now is the best fucking you there ever will be.

You’re here.

You’re now.

Immerse in that.

If you don’t get over the past, it will kill you.

Death is waiting, make sure you remember to live.

Wrapping up Day #12

What did you do today?

Without a post, challenge, or reminder did you continue to lead, enjoy the day, and default to masculine behaviors?

Men of March is not intended to hold your hand to the masculine Promised Land. The intent is to establish a strong foundation and newfound appreciation in what it means to be a man.

You’ve got to do this on your own, today was a test of where you’re at. Are you relying on this blog to remind you to act or are you beginning to develop the habit of taking action on your own?

I’m here for you brother, but masculinity doesn’t require motivation from someone online, that fire is self-created and it burns hot day in and day out.

Make sure you’re expressing that raw and authentic masculine self to the world without being reminded to do so.

Until tomorrow…

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14 thoughts on “Day #12: Evening Ruminations

  1. I woke up, got my son and I ready and went to Home Depot to get some stuff to fix the bathroom sink. Its been draining rather slow for a few weeks now and I decided I was tired of it. After Home Depot, we went Petco to check out the reptiles they had then went to Target and purchased some stuff we needed as well as ingredients to make lunch and dinner for the day.
    You know what really helped me feel productive all day?
    The fact that when I woke up, I changed out of my pajamas into some jeans. It made me feel ready for the day. My usual Sundays consist of being at home all day and trying not to go out and relax all day before the work week.
    Not only did I made it a productive morning but I also spent time with my son. He was well behaved, didn’t cry when he wanted candy and I said no. He then said he wanted to skip over the Kindergarten workbooks and jump into the 1-2nd grade books.

    I sometimes beat myself up for not taking him places or spending much time with him, but then he reminds me how mature he is for his age and how well I am raising him to be a productive young man.
    I feel like I’m good father for my son and step-son, but I feel like my frame for being a husband is weak. I totally blame that whole “nice guy” that molded what my marriage was for the last 4 1/2 years. Since finding TRP and blogs like yours and others, its been one hell of a rollercoaster.
    Thank you for reminding me that the best me is the one I am right now.

    Night.

    Like

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  5. This one stings. I’ve been thinking about your post all night. I’m struggling to put my wife’s affair behind me 6 months ago. Things she does triggers thoughts of her infidelity and extreme lack of loyalty. The way she hazily kissed me goodbye this morning made me think of all the times she sat up snap chatting while I slept and recovered. I do a good job of suppressing my negative thoughts but I feel like I’ll never enjoy her the way I once did.

    Next time she’s too tired to wake up I’m just going to leave for work.

    I’m sure marriage is not right for me, or anyone. Divorce still seems like a terrible move. Financially speaking I would be instantly better off long term. We enjoy each other and support each other now. Her deranged reasons for the affair have been explored and we’ve worked towards healing. I’m leading like never before. My wife and kids are better off for it and working hard. To others, our life is a perfect oasis in a world of turmoil. My pride still gets in the way and I know it’s all my fault.

    My wife is a deeply flawed person. She is still dishonest. I know I would be OK and dream of the chance at a new life. I’m scared to leave even though I’m a proven and confident man. I love her and my kids love her. I bounce from being totally turned off and totally turned on. I’ve never felt more alone. The fear of making a choice that can’t be reversed weighs on my soul.

    Like

    • This is a plight many have faced.

      We all just want a family that works and is happy.

      We want simplicity.

      Yet, because of your wife’s affair, you’re like crumpled paper. You can get it flat, but it will never be perfect again.

      Are you ok with that?

      You’ve been conditioned to believe that she deserves to be saved and given a second chance.

      The truth is, she broke her vows to you and now you have to decide if you’re staying for her benefit or your own.

      It will be difficult to share your kids and finances, but the tangible loss will never equal the intangible suffering you’ll go through.

      The tight chest, broken heart, racing mind swinging from rage to regret…

      Give yourself the next two weeks of #MenofMarch to think solely on this aspect of your life.

      At the end of the month you should know if you’re better off with her in or out of your life.

      Cheating on her may ‘even the score’ but what will it accomplish long term?

      Think on it brother, my email is always open.

      Like

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  9. This shit hit home for me, when Im down or have a bad blow out with my wife, that brings me down, my mind floods with fucked up thoughts, rage, anger, regret and the few really bad decisions Iv made in life, fucked up shit people done to me, Sometimes it fukin takes days to get my head right again. Iv made more than a few but a couple really stick that had impact on my life, they love to pop up when Im ragin out. I control it for most part but sometimes I cant and they get the best of me.

    Like

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