From Boy to Soy: The Story of Young American Men and Your Role as a Father

Your Son will follow your example, not your advice.

In Modern Day Agoge I laid the foundation as to how I am raising my son to understand the world in which we live as well as expose him to the arts, philosophy, mathematics, and experiments which go beyond the ‘pass the test‘ lessons he’ll receive in school.

In Modern Day Agoge Part II I dive further into how you can get your son to take pride in what it is that makes him a man (in training). Things such as his beard (peach fuzz for my little guy), muscles, competitive nature, etc.

This piece is about the lives a majority of young men in America are living. It’s also a warning and reminder of why Craig and I are doing what we do, throwing ropes.

As a married father of two I’m dedicate hours of my life to talking to other men about authentic living, masculinity, and the importance of being a present father.

I could pursue other business ventures, I could spend more time writing books and reading them, but I am passionate about this topic and I truly want to help my fellow man reach that level of optimal living and pure joy that I experience day in and out. The truth is that the men in the Fraternity of Excellence have helped me as much as I’ve helped them.

 

My son is eight years old, that the perspective I’m writing from.

I’m a father of a passionate, determined, proud young man who is roughly in the middle of his childhood.

While most of his friends are being raised by screens (See Tablet Toddlers) I have my son outdoors, growing stronger with the help of sunshine, rain, books, family, and his little sister to keep him on his toes.

While most boys see their fathers ‘relaxing’ on the couch Monday through Friday as they return from work, my son asks me to go out back and train with him, as tired as I am, I always go.

Little man after pitching his first 1, 2, 3 inning

While most fathers complain of their children being ‘entitled little shits‘, a part of the ‘no attention span generation‘, and ‘always having their face in their tablet‘ I have nothing but bold remarks and pride for my son.

This is where our story begins; fathers are failing.

From Boy to Soy

There is no need for me to capture what has happened to the modern man and lay it out for you here, if you’re following this blog then you’re well versed in the repression of self, eradication of any masculine support networks, and apathetic lives men have been beaten into.

Often times we focus on the man when prescribing a remedy to the ailments he suffers from physically and mentally.

We focus on helping him express his genuine nature, learn to better understand the opposite sex, and we point him towards resources which will enable him to reclaim his mind, body, and spirit.

What about his boy?

What about the young man who has been watching (from birth) his father act as the masculine apologist and supplicating oaf?

What are we doing to ensure that these men, the ones who’ve begun to unplug, take the time to bring their sons along the less taken path of masculine expression?

These poor boys have watched their father’s every move. Until they’re roughly five or six these boys will view you, their father, with uncompromising idolization.

You’re unbeatable, their true hero, Zeus himself.

Then what?

  1. Then they start to see that you’re always laying on the couch watching TV.
  2. They see that you’re on the sideline, never coaching their teams.
  3. They see that you don’t have the body of superman.
  4. They see that you always tell them to “go play” instead of getting down on the floor and playing or going out with them.
  5. They see that you’re always on your phone.
  6. They see that you’re always eating.
  7. They see that you cower and submit to all, never standing your ground.
  8. They see you drink alcohol every day to numb yourself.
  9. They see you go from phone to TV to tablet to phone, never really immersing in the real world at all, always distracting the mind.
  10. They see all; always watching and they’re going to follow your example, not your advice.

These boys were born with software in their brain designed to make them the beasts of humanity; software in their mind which would make them strong, fast, sexual, and capable of living a life filled with joy.

That software was removed.

It was removed by you, their own flesh and blood, their own father.

You allowed society to move in and fill the vacuum created by your lack of presence.

You allowed the school system to be responsible for their education instead of choosing to take the time to teach your own child.

You decided you loved the comfort of modern living more than you did your own child.

This is not an argument, this is fact.

If you loved your child you would have:

  • Intervened when you saw him gaining weight.
  • Taken action and gotten him moving when you noticed he was weak and suffering from preventable health complications and lack of confidence.
  • Brought him under your wing and taught him the ways of women so that he did not fall victim to nice guyitis.
  • Been present and involved ensuring that your son defaulted to expressing his authentically masculine nature and not repressing it to fit in with the rest of our weaksauce society.

You didn’t do any of that, because you were too fucking comfortable.

Because of that, today’s young men are physically, mentally, and spiritually weak.

They’re sad because their natural instinct and genuine self is still screaming inside, deep, deep inside their mind. Begging and pleading to be released like a man who knows he is innocent yet is about to be locked away for life.

These boys inherently know that they should be strong, fit, and irrationally confident yet they aren’t and they aren’t sure why.

Raise a Lion from birth like it’s a dog and one day it will rip your face off.

Why?

Because it’s a Lion.

Our boys have the hearts of lions inside of them and it’s up to us, as fathers to release that beast. When you repress that nature, it leads to being violently released elsewhere. These are the men who want to fight when they’re drunk, those who resort to violence and being domineering in their relationship vs dominant.

Is there a solution?

There is only one possible cure to this disease which is eviscerating masculinity; action on the part of fathers.

You are their only hope.

As cliché as that sounds, it’s the truth.

Your children are going to follow your example, not your advice and they’re going to rise to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

Fix yourself and they will follow.

Set the bar high for you and watch how nobody else can complain as they watch you pick the heaviest thing up first and put it down last.

Train your son. When he walks onto the ‘field of life’ he does so alone. Make sure you’ve equipped him with the skills needed to not only survive, but to thrive.

You are their leader.

You are the only thing that can save these young men from a life of regret, misery, depression, and anxiety.

Do not allow women to tell our boys how to be men. Do not allow the school system, society, or the media to fill your child’s mind. You are their father, that is your job along with their mother.

We mock the weakness of the younger generations, yet their weakness is a direct result of our poor leadership.

When you unplug and commit to unfucking yourself, remember the eyes that have watched you for years. They don’t have a Hunter or Craig helping them along the way, you have to fill that role.

There is hope gentlemen.

 

I’m often mocked for my positive view on life, but it’s the way I am and the way I always will be.

I believe in hope.

I believe in you.

I believe that masculinity will survive and it is a direct result of the effort you are willing to put in day and night. I believe that it is the family men in society that are choosing to unplug that will ultimately save western society as we know it.

You may have felt some anger or regret while reading this. Let it go, the past is gone.

What we need is love; love is what will get you over that hurdle, love is what will get you in action with your son by your side.

Let’s work together to bring down ‘Big Soy’ and save our sons and our son’s sons.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter Drew

Be sure to follow Craig and I on Twitter for daily real time engagement:

@HunterDrewTFA
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16 thoughts on “From Boy to Soy: The Story of Young American Men and Your Role as a Father

  1. I’m not a father and never will be. But your blog is fan-tiddly-astic. What you are doing is really important. Raising boys to be men is a lost art. Keep on keeping on, TFM. You are providing a voice to men with children in the ‘sphere who want to guide their children (both boys and girls) on a path of gloriousness (yes I know that isn’t a word). As a grown man, knowing what I know now, I would have done anything to have a father like you. Much respect, brother. Much respect.

    Raise your voice and be proud! I’ve been subbed to your blog for a long time now and learn something new with every post. As I said, I’m not a father, but your voice reaches out not only to fathers, but also to those of us who want to be the best men we can be.

  2. Great advice, excellent column. If only young men would read it and heed it.
    I never had a son, but based upon my horrible father’s example, I was somewhat terrified of the possibility that one of my children would be a son. It didn’t happen. My daughters are wonderful women, so thankfully I can be proud of that fact.
    Semper Fi.

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  4. Good article! I’m a dad of four grown children and have 6 grandchildren and it’s important to show your grandchildren a strong man. I take my 2 yr old grandson
    to the park almost everyday and on the weekends we are outside most of the day. It’s important that grand pop is a superman, not a feeble broken down man!

  5. When you realize that either way- your son is likely to follow in your footsteps- to repeat the same patterns you realize that you are not just unfucking yourself, but unfucking what is likely a chain of bad patterns and are indeed saving the world.

    Above that- being a good and present father is an honor like no other and with the hard work comes joy and pride that far exceeds the comfort of mediocrity.

    thanks for your writings.

  6. This is a great post. I used to be in the 40 hour a week, come home and “relax” crowd.
    At the place I worked, I met a man that had started his own business (the company I worked for was producing pieces for the product his company was producing). He said to me, that he started his job, because he wanted to be a full time Dad, and just work part time.
    That conversation I had with that man change the paradigm with which I view my life, and I immediately went to work starting my own business. Within 3 weeks, I had started my own business, I work at it part time, and I am a father to my 4 children on a full-time basis.
    My sons don’t see me go to work for someone else, they see me chasing after my own dreams. My sons don’t see me worrying or stressing over some work place drama.
    I deal with my own business, on my own time, at my own pace, and I engage with my children each and every single day, on a full-time basis. There is not any moment of the day, where I am not available to them.

    • This is fantastic and it completely embodies the Family Alpha Motto of Acta, Non Verba

      Deeds, Not Words are required to make things happen in life.

      Well done man

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