Fatherhood In Our Modern Times; A Podcast With Craig James and Rollo Tomassi

Craig James from Masculine by Design and Co-President along with myself over at the FraternityofExcellence.Com hosted a Podcast where the two of us along with Rollo Tomassi from The Rational Male discussed marriage and more importantly, fatherhood.

Being a father in this day and age is no easy task, which is fine because if it were easy it wouldn’t be fun.

Many knowledge bombs and insights are shared in this discussion and both Rollo and I open up on our personal experiences, from before marriage all the way to where we are today. Along the way we offer advice to those who are currently parents as well as the men who see being a father in their future.

Give the Chat a listen and let me know what you think.

Hunter

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From Boy to Soy: The Story of Young American Men & Your Role as a Father

In Modern Day Agoge I laid the foundation as to how I am raising my son to understand the world in which we live as well as expose him to the arts, philosophy, mathematics, and experiments which go beyond the ‘pass the test’ lessons he’ll receive in school.

In Modern Day Agoge Part II I dive further into how you can get your son to take pride in what it is that makes him a man (in training). Things such as his beard (peach fuzz for my little guy), muscles, competitive nature, etc.

This piece is about the lives a majority of young men in America are living. It’s also a warning and reminder of why we’re doing what we do in the Manosphere.

Why I, as a married father of two dedicate hours of my life to talking to other men about authentic living, masculinity, and the importance of being a present father.

I could pursue other business ventures, I could spend more time writing books and reading them, but I am passionate about this topic and I truly want to help my fellow man reach that level of optimal living and pure joy that I experience day in and out.

I want to bottle the essence of it and give it to all because every day I’ve got the biggest smile on face just because I’m alive.

We all need to smile more, but I digress.

My son is almost eight years old, which is the perspective I’m writing from. I’m a father of a passionate, determined, proud young man who is roughly in the middle of his childhood.

While most of his friends are being raised by screens; I have my son outdoors, growing stronger with the help of sunshine, rain, books, family, and his little sister keeping him on his toes.

While most boys see their fathers ‘relaxing’ on the couch Monday through Friday as they return from work, my son asks me to go out back and train with him, as tired as I am, I always go.

Your Son will follow your example, not your advice.

While most fathers complain of their children being ‘entitled little shits‘, a part of the ‘no attention span generation‘, and ‘always having their face in their tablet‘ I have nothing but bold remarks and pride for my son.

This is where our story begins; fathers are failing.

From Boy to Soy

There is no need for me to capture what has happened to the modern man and lay it out for you here, if you’re following my blog then you’re well versed in the repression of self, eradication of any masculine support networks, and apathetic lives men have been beaten into.

Often times we focus on the man when prescribing a remedy to the ailments he suffers from physically and mentally.

We focus on helping him express his genuine nature, learn to better understand the opposite sex, and we point him towards resources which will enable him to reclaim his mind, body, and spirit.

What about his boy?

What about the young man who has been watching (from birth) his father act as the masculine apologist and supplicating oaf?

What are we doing to ensure that these men, the ones who’ve begun to unplug, take the time to bring their sons along the less taken path of masculine expression?

These poor boys have watched their father’s every move.

Until they’re roughly five/six these boys will view you, their father, with uncompromising idolization.

You’re unbeatable, their true hero, like Zeus himself.

Then what?

  1. Then they start to see that you’re always laying on the couch or watching TV.
  2. They see that you’re on the sideline, never coaching their teams.
  3. They see that you don’t have the body of superman.
  4. They see that you always tell them to “go play” instead of getting down on the floor and playing or going out with them.
  5. They see that you’re always on your phone.
  6. They see that you’re always eating.
  7. They see that you cower and submit to all, never standing your ground.
  8. They see you drink alcohol every day to numb yourself.
  9. They see you go from phone to TV to tablet to phone, never really immersing in the real world at all, always distracting the mind.
  10. They see all, they’re always watching, and they’re going to follow your example, not your advice.

These boys were born with software in their brain designed to make them the beasts of humanity; software in their mind which would make them strong, fast, sexual, and capable of living a life filled with joy.

That software was removed.

It was removed by you, their own flesh and blood, their own father.

You allowed society to move in and fill the vacuum created by your lack of presence.

You allowed the school system to be responsible for their education instead of choosing to take the time to teach your own child.

You decide you loved the comfort of modern living more so than you did your own child.

This is not an argument, this is fact.

If you loved your child you would have:

  • Intervened when you saw him gaining weight.
  • Taken action and gotten him moving when you noticed he was weak and suffering from preventable health complications and lack of confidence.
  • Brought him under your wing and taught him the ways of women so that he did not fall victim to nice guyitis.
  • Been present and involved ensuring that your son defaulted to expressing his authentically masculine nature and not repressing it to fit in with the rest of our weaksauce society.

You didn’t do any of that, because you were too fucking comfortable.

Because of that, today’s young men are physically, mentally, and spiritually weak.

They’re sad because their natural instinct and genuine self is still screaming inside, deep, deep inside their mind. Begging and pleading to be released like a man who knows he is innocent yet is about to be locked away for life.

These boys inherently know that they should be strong, fit, and irrationally confident yet they aren’t and they aren’t sure why.

Raise a Lion from birth like it’s a dog and one day it will rip your fucking face off.

Why?

Because it’s a fucking Lion.

Our boys have the hearts of lions inside of them and it’s up to us, as fathers to release that beast.

Is there a solution?

There is only one possible cure to this disease which is eviscerating masculinity; action on the part of their fathers.

You are their only hope.

As cliché as that sounds, it’s the truth.

Your children are going to follow your example, not your advice and they’re going to rise to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

Fix yourself and they will follow.

Set the bar high for you and watch how nobody else can complain as they watch you pick the heaviest thing up first and put it down last.

Train your son. When he walks onto the ‘field of life’ he does so alone. Make sure you’ve equipped him with the skills needed to not only survive, but to thrive.

You are their leader.

You are the only thing that can save these young men from a life of regret, misery, depression, and anxiety.

Do not allow women to tell our boys how to be men. Do not allow the school system, society, or the media to fill your child’s mind. You are their father, that is your job along with their mother.

We mock the weakness of the younger generations, yet their weakness is a direct result of our poor leadership.

When you unplug and commit to unfucking yourself, remember the eyes that have watched you for years. They don’t have a Red Pill, Manosphere, or Hunter Drew helping them along the way, you have to fill that role.

There is hope gentlemen.

I’m often mocked for my positive view on life, but it’s the way I am and always will be.

I believe in hope.

I believe in you.

I believe that masculinity will survive and it is a direct result of the effort you are willing to put in day and night.

You may have felt some anger or regret while reading this. Let it go, the past is gone.

What we need is love; love is what will get you over that hurdle, love is what will get you in action with your son by your side.

Let’s work together to bring down ‘Big Soy’ and save our sons and our son’s sons.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter

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Your son is your heir, that doesn’t make your daughter the spare.

This is part two of a seven part series.

The Order:

  1. Son
  2. Daughter
  3. Wife
  4. Finances
  5. Home
  6. Tradition
  7. Country

There seems to be a misconception among modern fathers that their daughters are beings who are entirely dependent upon and the responsibility of their wife.

They view their son as their heir and their daughter as the spare.

I’d love to personally throat punch each one of these men as they are doing a disservice to their daughter by stunting her development to womanhood.

Craig James of Masculine by Design recently released an article in which he states:

“My daughter and oldest child recently turned eight. Along with celebrating the blessing that she is to myself and our family has come the realization that the precious time I have to guide and mold all of my three children is in short supply.”

Considering that today is the day I decided to write about my daughter, I found this opening quote to be quite relevant.

We have too few breaths on this planet to waste a single one. The Time-Vampires in your life such as television, video games, or scrolling on Facebook looking at girls from high school can never be reclaimed and it is a detriment to your daughter that all of your ‘free time’ s dedicated to your son.

Our daughters need us just as much as our sons and it’s past time that all men recognize that.

We are not only the example our sons will compare themselves to, we’re also setting the bar from which our daughters will measure other men.

There are 3 types of girls out there:

  1. Girls who have involved masculine fathers. These girls are the ones who want to make daddy proud and are always looking to gain favor and attention from their father through positive achievements and awards. These girls often fall into a more feminine state of being as their father fills his masculine role, allowing the mother to fill her feminine, thus shaping the proper mindset in the daughter as to how men and women are meant to interact
  2. Girls who have weak fathers. These girls develop a sense of command and control over all of the men they bring into their romantic lives. All they know is that their mother had to lead and that their father was an incompetent child who needed constant guidance and leadership from his wife, this taints her view of the masculine and feminine dynamic.
  3. Girls who lack a father figure at all. These girls either become the sluts who are searching for any man to say that they love them using their body to get that ‘love’ or they become bitter man-haters who though so desperately wanting a father in their youth, turn cold and become bitter at the world, making their lack of a father a part of their identity.

These girls and young women are heavily impacted from an early age by how their father performs as a man and what role it is he fills in the family unit.

Whether it be man-child, leader, oppressor, or ‘friend’ all fathers have an incredibly deep impact on who their daughter becomes.

Invest the time in raising your girl right.

  • Don’t be her friend.
  • Don’t be her cheerleader, saying “You Go Girl” accrediting her goals as being something to be accomplished for all women and her failures being blamed on her gender. (See: Dear Daughter)
  • Don’t be the man who is incapable of discussing things such as sex, boys, or life in general because ‘you don’t get her‘ as you aren’t a girl.
  • Don’t tell her that she is a special princess who will be given whatever it is she wants based on her looks alone.
  • Don’t be the father who expects his daughter to think and act like a boy.

Do:

  • Be her Shield & Spear. Protect her from the influence of society, advertising, and all of the other pressures she is going to face from the outside world.
  • Raise her on a different, yet fair playing field as your son. She is different than your son so she should be brought up with a unique approach.
  • Let her have fun and be her feminine beautiful self. If she wants to dance in puddles, pick flowers, or sing then rock out with her. Whether it be N’Sync, Moana, or Frozen jam out with your little lady, show her that her dad, the disciplinarian is capable of dancing in the rain as opposed to always hiding from the storm.
  • Teach her to earn everything in this life, too many women expect the world to be handed to them on a platter by their white knight.
  • Instill in her a solid foundation of self-respect which will hold strong when she ventures out into a world which looks to unravel all that is beautiful about a woman.

You have to be able to talk to your girl.

The DADD Bods approaching Type II think these shirts make them tough & respectable.

Question: What will cause your daughter to hide her sexuality, boyfriends, or anything else which is personal to her?

Answer: A dad who wears these types of shirts.

You’ve got to be able to talk to your daughter about anything. You’ve got to make the pathways of communication clearly open to her with a proven track record of being able to handle whatever it is she fires your way.

There are times where you’ve got to send your son outside on his own so you can sit with your daughter and have those difficult discussions, just you and her.

There have been times where I’ve sat down with my daughter then asked my wife and son to leave the room or go outside and she’ll tell me something. My daughter is four but as she grows she will know that I’m here to listen and that what she says to me stays between her and I.

Recent Conversation:

Daughter: Dad, I’m not afraid of monsters.

Me: Oh yeah? Why not?

Daughter: Because you’ll punch them in the face.

Me: You’re right about that little lady.

Daughter: I Love You Daddy.

Me: Love You Too

Fake alphas don’t earn respect.

What are you going to do? Shoot a teen?

If you want your daughter to choose the type of guy that you’d like in her life, then you’ve got to set the standard from which they’ll all be measured.

Women, even our daughters, instinctively know how to judge men and whether or not they’re legitimately masculine or putting on a persona.

From birth, women are programmed with the software required to break a man’s frame.

If you aren’t living your mission and authentically following your message,your daughter isn’t going to respect you. If she doesn’t respect you, then she will be bringing home guys who on the surface play the ‘gentlemen’ role well, but as soon as you’re out of sight they’re trashing your name.

The father who threatens to shoot, kill, kidnap, or beat up his daughter’s boyfriends are compromising their integrity.

Fake alphas get Fake respect

Masculine fathers don’t act tough, they are tough and that masculine spirit sends out vibrations which are recognized by all other men. Boyfriends won’t screw around with curfews, rules in the home, or anything of that nature if they are aware, in their soul, that the father of this girl is the real deal and not one to be fucked around with.

You don’t need to threaten with firearms, you need to be able to look this boy in the eye, shake his hand firmly, and let the boundaries be made crystal clear; that’s it.

Your daughter will seek your approval, the boy will be in a position of respect, and everyone will get along splendidly.

Our children will follow our example, not our advice and they’ll perform to the standard we accept, not the one we expect.

You are her father and while you are a man and your daughter is a young woman, she is going to strive to reach the standard you’ve set.

When she sees you lift, read, work, refuse to give up, pursue your mission, etc. you are setting her up for success. Make her a part of your routine, make sure that you are cutting out enough one-on-one time with her as you are your son.

Her development is equally dependent upon you as that of your son. Do not view her as the responsibility of your wife.

Give you daughter the gift of your time, attention, and masculine presence. Enjoy raising her and watch as she becomes a woman capable of great things by going out and seizing the fuck out of this world then hopefully, finding a man whom you view as being worthy of her beauty.
Hunter

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What to do when your son gets into his first fight.

This is the first part in a seven part series which will be released over the next seven days.

The Order:

  1. Son
  2. Daughter
  3. Wife
  4. Finances
  5. Home
  6. Tradition
  7. Country

The reasoning behind this series is that I have a difficult time putting out content consistently as I am living the hell out of my life. My son made the All-Star baseball team and I’m coaching 4x a week, training for the Army, reading, leading my wife and daughter on crazy adventures, etc.

It’s the life of a family man and one I deliberately chose. The issue is, I also suffer the burden of having a writer’s mind and the lack of writing leads to a build-up of tension and mental clutter.

My intention with the 7 for 7 series is not only to provide quality content for a week straight, but also to help kick start myself into a more consistent routine with regards to writing and publishing.

My main goal is to stop going a month with nothing then jamming out 10 essays in a day. I need to get back into the flow and make my mission more of a priority.

We must train our sons because it isn’t if, but rather when our boys will face battle.

With all of that said, the first post is about my son, a few days ago I come home from work and we have a conversation which goes something like this:

Him: Dad, I have to talk to you about something.

Me: What’s up buddy?

Him: I got into a fight today with Jackson.

Me: Hey little lady (daughter) why don’t you go outside? Babe (wife), take her for a walk, I want to talk to the boyo alone.

*They Leave.

Me: Tell me what happened.

*Before he told his story, my mind went through a thousand different scenarios:

  • Why is my son getting into a fight at 7 years old?
  • What the fuck is wrong with the camp he is at? Why are boys beating the shit out of each other?
  • Boys fight, this is no big deal.
  • I raised my son better than to be some punk.
  • I hope he won.
  • Did he fight for the right reason…?

Him: Jackson was pulling kids shirts and pushing the little kids on the ground. They told him to stop and he wouldn’t.

Me: Go on…

He chose to act, he chose to follow his masculine fire instead of allowing an injustice to continue.

Him: Well he wouldn’t stop so I told him to stop then he tried to push me on the ground, but I tackled him, we wrestled, then I got on top of him and I punched him in the face.

Me: Then what happened?

Him: The counselor pulled me off of him and we both got into trouble. Are you mad at me?

*I considered it all, played it in my head 100 times, then I took a deep breath

Me: I’m not happy that you got into a fight, though I am proud that you made the decision to act instead of letting someone else get pushed around. I don’t want you thinking that getting into fights is cool, because it isn’t.

The world we live in is a tough one and this isn’t the last fight you’re going to get into. I’m not mad you got in a fight, I’m proud of you for looking out for those who couldn’t look out for themselves and I’m more proud that I heard this from you instead of mom.

You owned it.

You did what you had to do knowing full well what the consequences were. Today you came out on top, another day you might not. It isn’t about winning the fight as much as it is choosing to take action when necessary.

I’m proud of you buddy, but don’t think that means I want you going out picking fights at camp. You fought for the right reason, you’ll never get in trouble for doing what you believe is right.

I share this story as I feel it is important that we, as fathers, recognize that there has to be a masculine filter with which we process each event our sons will go through in their life.

  1. Fights
  2. Girls
  3. Societal pressures to conform
  4. Sex

They need their father to support and explain the logic behind why they think and act the way they do. They don’t need their dad berating them for following their masculine nature.

I removed the girls because this was a conversation for the men. I allowed him to speak before injecting anything which would taint his delivery of events, along with his reasoning. As fathers raising boys, step back and let them speak to you as you would a man, because our boys are exactly that, men in training.

Some dads would have yelled at their son before he had a chance to explain.

Others would have passed the buck to the mom and told her to deal with it.

Some would have called the other parents and forced their son or his own to apologize and ‘hug it out’.

Then there are the dads who would have gone on for hours about how boys should use their words and that their inclination for physical violence is something which should be repressed and that masculine fire should never be called upon.

Don’t Be Like Those Dads

Process your son’s actions and behaviors like a Red Pill man, a man who has unplugged and is able to see the big picture vs the narrative society spreads.

Sometimes there will be incidents that require the meat to meet the meat, my son threw fists at a boy who was preying on those smaller than him, and I did not nor will I ever punish him for that.

It’s a part of who he is, a part of who we all are as men.

Nobody likes and unfair fight, at least no masculine man I know does.

At the same time, masculinity is not about false bravado or emulating the ‘manly’ caricatures society has created.

These include:

  • The dad sitting on the porch cleaning his shotgun waiting for his daughter and her date to arrive.
  • The dad who has ‘the talk’ with any boy who dates his daughter, threatening to make him disappear if he treats her wrong.
  • The father who puts on the fake alpha tough guy appearance and tries to live vicariously through his son, turning him into the fake ‘tough guy’ and bully in school

This isn’t about looking tough and manly, it’s about actually being tough and masculine.

You must be firm, but not made of stone. Teach your son during these critical moments during his journey to manhood.

You can develop that warrior spirit in your son by educating him and walking the path by his side, giving input during these critical moments through his rite of passage, yet never doing any of it for him.

We should all be creating our own version of a Modern Day Agoge for the development of our sons.

I’m not happy my son got into a fight, but I am proud he made the decision to act.

Hunter

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Baseball & Letting Your Son Become a Man

This year is the first year my son has played “real” baseball. I put real in quotes because he played last year, but it was coach pitch, not player.

It has been something.

We’ve both grown significantly from this and I’d like to share a few of those insights as well as humble-brag a little about my boyo.

My son makes the cutoff for this league by literally one day. He is the youngest(7) kid as well as the smallest, but he’s got the heart of a lion.

I always pay particular attention to how I interact with him regarding his interests. I let him dictate where he chooses to spend his time, the last thing I ever want to do is live vicariously through him like I see some fathers doing.

He decides the sports, the hobbies, etc. I support as best I can.

From the womb, baseball has been his thing. I’ve spent more hours playing catch, pitching, & running drills with him than I can possibly remember or count.

Some days I would open the door of the Jeep after getting home from work and before it closed behind me he’d say, “Hey dad, want to run drills?” and in my tie and slacks, we’d play Line Drive/Pop Fly/Grounder where I’d throw one of the three and yell it right as I did it to throw him off balance.

My wife would have to yell two or three times for us to get our ass in the house for dinner.

Our entire family recognized this, they’d always say, “This kid is going to be something special when he walks onto that field” but you never know until it happens.

This was the first year he walked onto that field alone.

First game he was our leadoff man.

I was first base coach.

Count got up to 3-2

Pitch.

Swing.

Miss

Strikeout…

I wanted to tell him it was a great cut and that he swung at a strike and not a ball which I would hope would be consolation, I wanted to yell that he did his best, I wanted to give him a bear hug and tell him that at least he is in the arena; but this is life, he failed to make it this time and dad won’t always be there to make him feel better, he had to let this sink in and decide what he was going to do moving forward.

Because of this, I stood there at first base with my arms across my chest and watched my son walk to the dugout, starting his career with a glorious strikeout.

He struck out his next at bat and this time, I could see the chin quiver as he sat in the dugout. Tears filled his eyes, he refused to look at me across the field.

When our boys took the field for defense I ran to him and told him that he was swinging at strikes and that I was proud of him. He said he was frustrated with himself and felt he was letting the team down.

He was more worried about failing his team than losing the game or embarrassing himself.

My little man was placing his ‘brothers’ before himself, failing them was worse than getting lousy stats.

My man.

He rebounded after that game; it lit a fire in his soul.

Every day he is throwing a ball at the wall and catching it with his glove, pitching into the station I measured out and built in the backyard, or hitting off the tee into a net we have downstairs.

Every. Day.

All of this is on top of team practice as well as his chores, workouts, modern Agoge sessions where he is learning philosophy, mathematics, reading and writing stories, etc.

He doesn’t tire of baseball and I support that.

The day he was called to pitch, my heart was in my throat.

Batting is one thing, he’s a good batter, a great defense-men (2nd basemen/Shortstop) but pitching?

This was his first time throwing at a kid on another team.

I couldn’t stop pacing as he warmed up.

Then the game started.

3 innings pitched (then he hit his max pitch count), 2 runs given up, 4 strikeouts.

He got the Win and the game ball.

This young tiny kid can hang against kids much stronger and taller (some are 4 years older than him.)

He is carving out his place in the world. He is building his own reputation and while doing so, I am fading further and further into the shadows.

He still views me as his hero and he still loves to be tucked into his bed by my wife and I, but the days are limited so I’m immersing in every one.

As fathers, our job is not to view our sons as our chance to ‘do it again’, but rather, to make sure we teach them to do it right. To help them avoid the holes we fell into and to pass the knowledge to them which we wished we had at their age.

I sacrifice my time for him, not in the hopes that he’ll make it to the MLB and I’ll get a kickback. I do it because he is my son, my blood, my heir.

He’ll never understand the sacrifices I’ve made to be his coach, to make time for backyard practice with him, or the money I’ve spent to get him gear instead of the extras I would like.

He will also never understand that the time I’ve shared with him I wouldn’t trade for a million dollars.

It is through America’s game that I have witnessed my son prove himself.

While I am running my Rite of Passage at home, it is when he turns failure into fuel for greater success that I see what I am doing is working.

We never know how we’re doing as parents, but there are moments where you look at your child and think, ‘You know what? This kid is alright‘.

Get involved with what your kids are doing. If my son wanted to build rockets, you’re fucking right I’d have a launch pad in my backyard.

Your life is not about catering to their life, but you have to ensure that you aren’t placing consumption of television over interacting with your offspring. You need to make sure you are raising them and not a screen or society.

Their education, training, and the perspective with which they view the world is your responsibility.

This is your child; not the government’s.

Do not sit back and think that state schools and sports leagues are responsible for the development of your child. That is your burden to bare and you must bare it with pride and limitless reserves of motivation and energy.

Never forget; your children are going to follow your example, not your advice.

Hunter
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Modern Day Agoge Part II

Your son should live a genuine life expressing his masculine identity.

Your son should live a genuine life expressing his masculine identity.

I first wrote of how I’d created a modern version of Agoge back in September 2016. Since writing that post, ‘Modern Day Agoge: A man’s path to raising a masculine son in a feminized society.‘ I’ve received countless emails from other fathers asking how they could implement this style of home education & a Rite of Passage into the lives & relationship with their son.

In the first post I touched on the specific subjects, this one will go beyond the scope of the literal topics and more into the ‘Why & How’ of it all.

We live in a fast paced, time wasting, numb society. Everything is being created to make living more ‘comfortable‘. This is in direct conflict with the development of masculinity and it’s also detrimental to sustaining your masculine nature as a man.

Choosing to have a child is one of the biggest decisions of your life. The amount of time, money, and personal sacrifice required is great. I want you to think longer and harder about this than the average schmuck who has kids because ‘his wife wants to‘ or because that’s what he feels he ‘should‘ do via society’s pressure on men to settle down & support the female imperative.

In my post The Burden of Family I talk about the necessity of viewing your family as fuel and not an anchor. You have to consider this before having kids. They are going to take away most of the ‘you time’. This is the burden of men; balancing the desire for conquest and glory with development of the lives responsible to.

If you want to follow the type of path I’m forging with my boy, then you need to be prepared to commit a significant amount of quality time with him.

Sitting & watching TV or eating shitty foods and talking about your day is not quality time. If you’ve set the goal of reclaiming your masculine self and at the same time want to prevent your son from ever suffering the pain of The Void, then you need to be ready read, teach, answer questions, and do it all at the expense of your personal development.

When I read a book to my son, conduct science experiments, discuss philosophy, teach him math, or answer the 1,000 questions he has, I am not blogging, writing, reading my own books, doing my own schoolwork, or pursuing the other personal goals I have.

I am OK with this as I chose to have children and I have a limitless reserve of masculine energy & confidence in self.

I may not have the time to read or write as much as I would like or as much as the other bloggers & authors out there. But, they don’t get the personal satisfaction and joy which I experience with my son. The trade-off is worth it to me.

You may find that it isn’t to you.

Not all fathers have the same goals and not all fathers are capable of choosing the development of their son over the development of their ‘self’.

I’m not here to judge, but I want it to be clear, this path does not work for every father out there. I will ask that you take a deep introspective moment to decide if it’s worth it.

Your son needs you, when you feel the weight is too much, dig deeper and find that reserve of masculine power which never fails you.

The future of masculinity is in our youth. I think the loss of sleep due to pushing the schedule back to make time for raising our boys is worth it.

Don’t ask for more hours in the day, they don’t appear (trust me). Instead, get better at managing your time.

The Responsibility of Fatherhood

Remember, your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

They’ll follow your masculine example over your fatherly advice.

This is why you must:

  • Read to them & with them
  • Exercise Together
  • Develop Home Lessons on a variety of subjects
  • Drill them with physical & mental tests

I’ve been asked if there was a set schedule my son and I followed with regards to his ‘masculine pipeline’. To a degree, yes there is a schedule as we have certain subjects set for certain days.

This does not mean that we don’t shift things around, cater to holidays, vacations, etc. or that there is any strict adherence to this schedule.

There are times where we have to skip our science day because baseball practice ran late or a family member is in town. I will always acknowledge it to let my son know that we are missing a lesson so that he doesn’t think I forgot or that it doesn’t matter.

As the masculine example & leader in the family you’ve got to ensure that your son is being equipped with the right ‘programming’ in his mind.

Do not allow a screen to raise your child. Immerse in the world.

Do not allow a screen to raise your child. Immerse in the world.

It is not the responsibility of the government to ensure our children are properly educated. Their job is to provide the most basic of fundamental development. The problem with letting them run his entire education is that the entire organizational structure is geared towards support of the feminine imperative.

He will be conditioned to repress his natural thoughts and actions in favor of what has been deemed by our weak society as ‘appropriate’.

Fuck. That.

It is your responsibility to create a system which counteracts this conditioning. You select your lessons based on what you believe your son should know. As I write this I realize that I have not taught my son wilderness survival. I’m making a note on our calendar that I need to teach him to build shelter, find food, hunt, hydrate, etc.

This is the mindset you need to have.

If you build a program like my modern Agoge, you’ll be able to easily add/subtract from it. If you never develop a ‘home training’ system then you’ll never develop the habit of thinking, what can I teach my son today?

He needs you. All of our boys need a masculine example. A fathers and men it is our responsibility to fill that role and develop our sons to being able to reach even greater heights than we attain ourselves.

My son won’t need TFA in his life, neither will he need The Red Pill; his default will be that of a masculine man.

Embracing Masculinity

A part of this Modern Agoge is helping my son develop and express his masculine nature.

I reinforce his masculine habits and developments through amplified praise of manly nature frequently. The other day in the middle of dinner I got up, walked over to my son, put my face in his, and exclaimed to the family that his mustache was starting to fill in (he’s 7). I made it a thing and he was so proud and we all ‘cheered’ to him, it was awesome.

I heard him bragging to his friend a few days later about how his mustache was ‘growing bigger‘.

He frequently talks about having a beard when he’s older, just like dad’s, his muscles/strengthand one time when I asked him why he was running around the front yard in the cold without a shirt on he said, “Because I’m a man”.

While I made him put it back on, I was proud that he was expressing who he was vice repressing that genuine nature & self.

When we have our philosophy lessons I explain to him that being a man isn’t all about war and physically prowess but also the mental strength which must be forged.

I speak of great leaders, warriors, and brilliant minds who were all equally masculine in their endeavors.

I let him wrestle, use tools/weapons, and do not try to bubble wrap him in an attempt to keep him from experiencing harm. There have been times where I’ve warned him that doing something could hurt and when he tried it anyway, I did not prevent the painful result.

He learned his lesson the hard way, as we all must.

Whether he is falling off a wall or wounded from wrestling, I do not run to him. I watch him pick himself up, covered in mud, blood, or tears and let him console and compose himself. Only then will I go to him to check for permanent damage to the body or mind and I’ll provide a lesson.

There are too many coddling fathers. Sometimes you have to put your hand on your son’s shoulder and tell him that he failed because he wasn’t good enough.

There are days where we don’t measure up. This is reality.

I have failed, my son has failed, and we will both continue to do so as there’s no other way to know where that line is until you cross it and fall hard onto your face.

A while back my son fell off a gnarly rock wall at the playground. The things is a beast and his friends wouldn’t even attempt it He was upset and I told him it’s because he hadn’t trained hard enough with his climbing.

He did not look to me with a self-defeated attitude, he looked up at me with embarrassment and fear he had disappointed me.

So I told him, “Son, I’m not disappointed you failed to reach the top. You tried something the other kids wouldn’t try and you failed. Today you are not ready for this wall, but I promise you that every kid who saw you climb and fall wishes they were able to attempt it. Your mind is strong and I know you’ll workout harder and keep practicing until you can scale it. You entered the arena and you were beaten, but look at the other kids, they all stand in the crowd, afraid to even try.”

These are the talks you need to be having with your son. They need know that life isn’t sunshine and rainbows. They need to know that if they do not prepare then they will fail and that failure is not acceptable but rather it should be used a fuel for future growth.

Test him physically & mentally. Every obstacle he overcomes is another fold in the steel, strengthening his 'self'.

Test him physically & mentally. Every obstacle he overcomes is another fold in the steel, strengthening his ‘self’.

My son has since climbed to the top of that wall. He practiced and pushed himself every chance he got whenever we went anywhere. Then when he took it on again, he zipped right up.

I was proud, he was proud, and the lesson was instilled.

Preparation for War

Every time I have to travel for work I tell my son that he is the ‘Man of the house‘ while I’m away. The first time I said this, I asked him if he knew what that meant; he said “No”.

I then went on to explain to him that men are both the Shield and Spear of their family. As men we are required to protect our clan from external forces (Shield) and attack our enemies when required (Spear).

I then spoke of the many roles he may not be aware that I filed for our family. I told him that in my absence he’d have to be the one my daughter went to when she didn’t understand something. That he would have to do the man’s chores (Trash, yard, kill bugs, etc.) and that he would have to make sure that everyone was safe and sound.

This is all a formality, the kid is 7. I know my wife will be holding down the fort while I’m away as she is both my Queen & Warrior, but I want to begin forging the pathways in his mind where he know, at some point, he will be the one to fill these roles.

His time will come when he moves out of my sphere of control and into the ‘real world’ to make it as a man. I want him to know what’s expected of masculine men in society. Unfortunately there could be a time where our sons have to fill that role sooner than we expected. If I’m killed by a drunk driver tonight, then my son’s lessons will be over if I had not taught him what it was that men are expected to do, then someone else would and too often that someone else is already deeply in support of the feminine imperative.

If you’re asking yourself, When would be the best time to start my son’s Rite of Passage’ then look at the example above and see that the time is now.

The world is a brutal place and masculine men are targeted by all. Prepare your boy for battle by strengthening his mind to where it becomes an impenetrable fortress. His belief in self and masculine development should not be something does, but rather who he is.

Society, the school system, and life as a whole are working against you.

Let everyone else enjoy complacent living. Not you though and not your son, no you’ll find comfort in the discomfort and you’ll live your genuine life.

When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.

You are the torchbearer of masculinity, pass the fire onto the next generation.

Hunter

I write for free, but if you’d to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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Dear Daughter

Be the masculine presence that shows her what a man is supposed to be and how he should act.

Be the masculine presence that shows her what a man is supposed to be and how he should act.

Dear Daughter,

Throughout your life there will be people who try to attribute all of your successes as well as all of your errors to your gender. They’ll trivialize your failures and steal your success. These people may not be cognizant of what they’re doing, so I’m going to make you aware.

You and your brother think differently, act differently, and are built differently physiologically. Because of this I’m sure you’ve noticed that your mother and I have catered our approach to the two of you. Sometimes you get away with more than your bother and sometimes your brother gets away with more than you. We’ve raised the two of you differently, yet loved you both the same, with everything we have in our hearts.

With that said, there are certain topics which both your brother as well as yourself will have the exact same standards set.

School

While the rest of the world tries to hammer you with their expectations of what girls should be doing, I’d like you to know that you are not living a life according to anyone’s script but your own. Your mother and I have tried our hardest to keep you shielded from the influence of society so that you could develop your genuine self.

But someday you’ll be venturing out into the world without me being there for you to grab by the hand. Maybe it’s when you go to college; if you choose to do so I never want to hear that you are focusing solely on STEM careers & degrees because that’s where women are underrepresented.

You are a bright star in a dark world, you need to let that light shine and the only way to keep that fire burning is for you to continue to follow your passions, natural abilities, and personal goals that you’ve set for your life.

Go into whatever field you want to, then live your life by writing the lines up as you say them instead of following the script.

Work

While society continues to push a completely false narrative and they receive assistance via ads like the one above, you aren’t getting off the hook that easy.

When you enter the workforce it is going to be your responsibility to negotiate your compensation. If you feel you’re worth a set amount, then you make someone pay that amount to get you; if you’re as good as you believe, they will.

If you see a man doing the exact same job and he is getting paid more, look at why. It’s possible he’s doing more than you see such as putting in later hours, working side projects, taking fewer vacations, etc.

All of this research into his pay vs your’s will act as bullets in your gun. You can then march to your boss and fire them off asking why he is getting more when you’re doing x, y, z.

If there is no acceptable justification, then you choose your genuine self over the comfort of the job – leave.

I am not going to berate you for choosing to stand up for yourself. I’m also not going to allow your poor negotiation skills and research which causes you to take a job making less than others be tossed up as inequality for women.

It isn’t inequality, it’s poor planning on your part and you know it.

You are my daughter, you know that in this family we choose that difficult path of reality over the comfort of the lie.

Life

You and your brother grew up with a masculine father and feminine mother, you were able to see how harmoniously a family operates when everyone is filling their natural roles.

It is now your turn to fill the role you carve out for yourself.

Don’t let your sisters in society make you feel ashamed for who you are. Don’t let them give you excuses for your failures. Own them, make your life your life and when you lose, don’t blame it on being a woman; when you win, don’t let other girls take it as something which helps their sex.

You win. You lose. You live.

Love Always,

Dad

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