First Guest Post on The Family Alpha: A Letter To The Loser (Written By Charlie)

A Letter to The “Loser”

Before you can create positive change in others, you need to be able to positively change yourself.

NOTE TO READER: This is the first guest post on The Family Alpha, and it was written by a man whom I greatly respect and take pride in hosting on my site. You would do well to heed the advice which follows below.

As you begin reading this you’re probably trying to justify why you aren’t a loser as well as rationalizing away the things wrong in your life, I know because I used to do it too.

Do me a favor:

  • Take off your shirt.
  • Go stand in the mirror.

Is this the body you want to inhabit for the rest of your life?

Probably not.

It was the great Socrates who said, ”It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Extend what Socrates said about man’s body to include his mind, and his very soul.

Approach all aspects of your life with this in mind “it is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty of which a man is capable of”. Think about your job, your relationships, and anything else that gives you meaning and purpose.

Are you happy with your current trajectory?

By now you have an idea of what is wrong. This is good, because identifying the leaks lets you know which pipes to replace.

  • You are 100 pounds overweight? Good.
  • You can’t (won’t) leave your girlfriend even though she cheated on you? Good.
  • You can’t quit watching porn? Good.

The worst part about being a loser, is being a loser.

The best part about being a loser, is that it can be fixed.

How do you fix it?
Good Question.

There is no sure-fire way to unfuck yourself and there is no great guru that has the necessary tactics to fix every warm body on the planet.

As much as I would like to help every man that comes to me, I can’t.

Sometimes I’m too busy in my personal life to give them the constant pep-talks they desire, sometimes they’d rather bitch and moan than put in the work, and sometimes I flat out fail.

That’s where I shoot the first of four bullet points in this short guide to unfucking yourself and becoming all that you as a man, not a God, can become.

1) Take ownership of your shortfalls

Be a man and own up to your mistakes.

You know the truth regardless of what your Facebook status update says, so take accountability for your actions. If you’re logging 8 reps and only get 7, you owe that last one to yourself at the end. I am my harshest critic when I make a mistake, but it’s that ability to admit it and make plans to correct it that will set you apart.

You will make great strides when you can admit you were wrong versus making excuses to why you failed.

2) Cut the head off your insecurities

Your fiancé slept with the entire baseball team in college and you can’t quit thinking about it? Sick, drop her. Would a winner really waste his time fucking with some loser broad? Nope.

Work on your fitness, we’ve already come to terms with you not liking your body. So, develop a plan and CRUSH IT. I promise you, it’s hard to give a fuck about anything when it looks like you were sculpted out of marble.

Work through your immutable insecurities, if y’all have seen my ears…oh lord have mercy. You can either be a little bitch and whine and cry or you can not give a fuck when it comes to things you can’t control; e.g. height, balding, facial structure

3) Manage your vices

There’s nothing quite like packing a lip of long cut wintergreen; I’m guilty of doing this somewhat regularly.

Completely cutting your vices out is damn near impossible, so I’ve learned to manage mine. I was a druggie loser 5 years ago, now I throw in a pinch of tobacco every once in awhile. It’s not that I’ve completely cut out all the negative things I do, it’s that I’ve taken them from a level where they controlled me to a level where I control them.

Nights of shooting painkillers up my nose have been replaced by a couple of cold beers while sitting around a camp fire. I say this in hopes that you realize that your porn addiction or your inability to quit smoking can be defeated.

4) Get the ball rolling

I like to think of success as a snowball rolling downhill, as you continue to do good deeds your snowball (success) grows in both size and momentum.

These good deeds can be smaller short term goals such as completing a workout, cleaning your apartment, or having the balls to start a conversation with the cute girl across the hall.
Make sure to accomplish daily/weekly goals while you work towards completing your long term goals, the long term goals will come easier as you continue to add momentum to that “snowball.”

Until you kill your ego the mirror will be distorted. See the reflection for what it IS and not what you WANT it to be.

Finally, I would like to add that, as you started reading, if you were that man in the mirror feeling disgusted, you are worthy of a better life. Becoming all that you can become doesn’t mean you have to be perfect.

We are men.

We must fight, struggle, and sometimes fall to get the things we want. Take this as your fall; you checked yourself, now it’s time to struggle and fight like hell.

Best of luck Gents,

Final Word From Hunter On Charlie: He is a man who right now, is taking the fight to the doorsteps of our nation’s enemies. He is authentic and a man who is only getting started, look out for him in 2018 (Follow on Twitter)

Mentouring – A 21 Convention Review

First off, I have to give credit where credit is due, my wife came up with the term mentouring.

While I wouldn’t say that the speakers themselves are “touring” to provide their speeches, the event itself is literally touring the globe and speakers are coming from across the nation.

The 21 Convention is an international convention and one that is continuing to grow, especially after having incorporated The Red Pill community.

I haven’t written a post in a few weeks as I’ve been working on my thesis (submitted & graded – 100% finally done with my Master’s) as well as preparing for the convention.

This piece will be my only written review of The 21 Convention. I will be doing a Podcast with Craig James of Masculine by Design as well as Gentlemen Jak from A King’s Castle.


Leaving the family is never fun, but our families are not our mission and there are times where we must separate what we want to do from what we have to do.

I had to attend this; writing, speaking, and helping other men learn how to better help themselves is my mission in life and there are times where it conflicts with my responsibilities as a husband and father.

This is the burden men have, this is the cross we bear.

Attending this event was going to change my life, I knew this going into it. I also knew that by attending this event I was going to miss two of my son’s baseball games, a team which I am the head coach of.

Missing those games sucked, fortunately for me I have a stellar wife who recorded videos and kept me up to date with what was going on (they won both).

My wife made the distance seem a little smaller, and I greatly appreciated her doing that for me.

The Speakers

I interacted with every speaker, but the ones I am going to list here are the ones that made an impact:

Rian Stone: I think the first thing he said to me was, “Hey faggot” from there everything was exactly as you’d expect from two sailors. I was with this guy every day before he had to take off early and quite literally the reason my speech did so well was because of the one he gave right before me that I built upon. He’s a solid dude who was exactly what I expected.

Rian is the kind of guy that if he showed up at my house today, we’d be right back at it. Similar to my approach, he made himself available to everyone the entire time,  and one who showed exactly why he was invited to speak.

Ivan Throne: Ivan and I spent each day together discussing family, business, the future, the present, and the past. I became instant friends with him as well as his dog, which I’ve come to calling SwoopDogg as this canine got more chicks flocking to him in one night than the entirety of the convention all week.

Ivan is the real deal, he’s passionate about what he believes in and his presentation was one which struck a chord with the men attending. He pulled no punches and drove the point home that as men, it is our duty to act and if you choose the path of passive existence, you need to get the fuck out of the way.

I do not believe this was the last time I’ll be seeing him in person.

Rollo Tomassi: This fucking guy is the OG of TRP & in my mind the Manosphere in general, he’s a funny motherfucker, and in all honesty was one of the leading forces behind the shift in the 21 Convention’s direction.

Rollo made himself completely accessible to the attendees and I think he took the brunt of the questions, stories, and overall swarm of discussion. Again, this is not an easy tasking nor is it required for him to do so.

I wanted to talk to him as much as everyone else, but this was about them, not us and Rollo was a fucking champ about it the entire time.

We’ve all read the posts, but to hear him speak on the subjects of masculinity, hypergamy, etc. it brings new life to those old words and really drove the point even deeper in your mind.

Rollo has a post for everything and I half expected him to pass out papers of essays instead of answering questions, but night after night he was there with a line of men trying to get a hold of this Red Pill rock-star. He’s is a standup guy who lives the message he writes.

Tanner Guzy: Tanner is a guy who I’ve messaged behind closed doors to let know that I appreciated his writing and while we don’t really interact that much on the web, I’m a huge fan of everything he has going on.

When we met in person, it was an immediate familiarity. He came right in, shook hands, said hello, and we just kicked it off. His wife was there as his photographer and she was incredibly nice as well. I spoke with both of them at a house party about my kids, their kids, online business, etc.

Tanner and his wife are quality people and I believe they’re exactly what this world needs more of. My blog and future products are going to be of higher quality directly because of the conversations we shared.

Goldmund Unleashed: Goldmund is the real deal, there is no conformist, fake, or ‘showman’ in him. He is who he is and does what he does.

He is the most immediately connected man I met at the event, quite literally he just popped up behind Rian and I with his coffee and it was all smiles and joking from there. I’m not even sure we formally met, we just started talking and having a great time.

That laid back attitude can be misinterpreted as going with the flow, which if you heard his speech that is not the case at all. He created a solid layout for these men to help them start looking inside themselves to find out who it is they truly are and where it is they want to go.

He gives a shit and took time to speak with each man who wanted a book, to check out his Masculine Accessories (I got some swag and my T levels jumped by 50).

He also helped each man who presented their individual insecurities with talking to women; that isn’t easy when you’ve got 20+ men asking you for a tailored program, but Goldmund hung in there and answered them all.

Christian McQueen: Christian was the person my wife was worried about as he is ‘The Playboy‘ and seeing the dude live, it’s no fucking joke. He is intense when it comes to business, professional when it comes to dealing with those asking questions, and a fucking blast to be around. I had a few conversations with the guy and he is a stand up dude who I’d want in my corner any day.

It wasn’t all girls either. We talked masculinity, business, family, etc. Most try to pigeonhole him into this one caricature when in fact he is much more and I think that bothers people.

He knows his shit and for me, as a married man with kids in a totally different stage in life, I still connected with the message as authenticity and masculinity are universally understood and respected.

Socrates: This fucking dude. I didn’t get much time with him at all as people always jumped in, but god dammit if I didn’t feel like I knew the guy forever. During our ‘post event‘ interview with Rollo, I was so fucking exhausted that one glass of Crown I drank during the interview blacked me out. I don’t remember shit from the interview except laughing my ass off with Socrates.

I later found out that I went to eat with Soc and ended up passing the fuck out at the table. Don’t mix no sleep with booze.

If that interview comes to light, I expect you’ll be laughing as hard as we were.

Anthony Johnson: I saved the best for last. This is the dude who made it happen and the final ‘Yes‘ to get me to this event. We didn’t get to interact much as his was handling everything for the event, but he believes in what it is he says and the mission/challenge he has taken on, just wait until you hear his final speech, motivating as fuck.

The Event

My wife asked me, “Why did you stay for every speech and always go down to the bar or out with the guys when you could grab some needed sleep?”

The answer was simple, I wanted to provide every opportunity I could for the men attending to see another man living his passion, embodying his message, and finding comfort in the discomfort.

I wasn’t sleeping well while in Florida, maybe 2-4 hours a night. But, how could I tell these men to push past their comfort zone if I was making sure I squeezed in naps?

Few, if any speaker stayed for the entirety of the event. I did, not because I really cared about what everyone was putting out, but rather because I knew that during each break these men would be asking me questions about the subject being discussed and if I wasn’t listening, I’d have no clue what they were talking about.

I, along with every other speaker was swarmed during each break, each dinner, event, outing, etc.

That shit is mentally taxing.

I wasn’t truly prepared for the relentless questions, stories, etc. On top of that, I gave my first live presentation and first speech in front of a crowd ever, I was nervous as shit and to receive a standing ovation after the fact was surreal.

It was a little overwhelming at first but I did my best to keep up and ensure I was saying what I meant and giving everyone their own time and attention.

Still, even when speakers were trying to talk to one another and would be interrupted, we’d give the attendee our all and didn’t treat it as any sort of annoyance,  we weren’t there for ourselves, we were there for the attendees.

The men who dedicated their time and money gaining access to those who were sending out a message of masculine reclamation deserved everything we had to offer, and each of us gave it.

I hung out in downtown Orlando with these men until 0400, then attended conferences from 0900 to 1900 then went out again until 0300 walking the streets with Jack Donovan and Ivan Throne which is something that I, as well as the other men will remember for quite some time.

This event was a game changer & 2018 is going to be even better.

Anthony Johnson has created the next step for the ‘Manosphere’ and the fight to reclaim masculinity in men’s lives and preserve it in our society.

He is removing the medium, bringing men together, and producing content at a rate which is impressively aggressive.

Return & What’s Next?

I’ve been home for roughly three days now and I’ve dedicated most of that time to thinking about, what now?

For the speakers, I hope this acts as fuel for future growth and desire to help get content out for those men who continue to struggle, plugged-in to a society who hates their authentic nature.

For the attendees, I hope the words were received and a plan is being formulated to put them into action.

Remember, Acta, Non VerbaDeeds, Not Words.

You spent valuable time and money to attend the event, make it count towards something. You need to make those words received become fuel for tangible improvements in your life. You attended The 21 Convention for a reason, now face that reason head on and make sure you come out on top.

Living an authentically masculine life sets an example which breaks the bonds for your brethren. Your example will allow them to break the conformist ranks, so take action and embody your message.

For myself, I’ve seen these men face to face. I’ve shaken their hands, heard their stories, and witnessed how real this all is. I hope to create products and write pieces which act as a catalyst for sustained superior performance.

I’m not worried about the next two weeks as these men are riding a high, I’m worried about two months from now when the desire of comfort comes creeping in. When it does, my writing will be there to catch any man who begins to fall back into the hole from which they came.

All of the speakers threw a rope to those who needed help to climb out of that hole. Now you must climb, and when you reach the top, you must ask yourself, do you march forward living the rest of your life in a genuine manner, or do you choose to stick around and throw a rope to the next man.

Either way you’re right, but those who choose to throw a rope, I look forward to seeing the resources and content you provide.


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Masculine Model #2 – Conor McGregor

In the first edition of this series I chose General Mattis (Read it here) as the best masculine role model out there. If you know anything of the man then you’re completely aware that the man embodies all of the traits a masculine man has.

In this post and from here on out I’m going to choose men who embody specific traits of the masculine male. I’m going to provide real men, not fictional characters who may set an example from which you can apply to your own life. The goal is to fight back against the Homer Simpsons, Peter Griffins, and Phil Dunphys out there.

In keeping with the tradition of this blog, I’m going to set irrational confidence as the first trait specific role model. In my post Lifting is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculinity I touch on the fact that lifting weights isn’t solely for physical health but rather it facilitates mental growth as well as developing irrational and limitless levels of self-confidence.

Gentlemen, if you are looking to get the most from this life then you need to exhibit this common traits shared amongst the most successful and masculine men out there.


When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

Irrational levels of self-confidence are crucial to the reclamation of your masculine self. This blog is mainly read by men who, for whatever reason, have fallen off the track of masculinity and are now working to find themselves again.

So I say, to the men who’ve grown their dadbod, gone months without sex, or maybe are just single and reading this to avoid any mistakes when getting into a long-term relationship you have to believe in you.

If you’re going to express your masculinity and no longer repress it then you’ve got to believe in yourself and you’ve got to believe, 100% that you are capable of doing this. The only way you can become the man you were meant to be is to commit every fiber of your being to this action. You do it by burning your ship as there is no going back.

Conor McGregor needed food stamps to eat before his UFC debut in Sweden (where he earned a bonus of $60,000 for the Knockout of the Night) this man went into that ring knowing he had shot to make a lasting first impression. After 67 seconds he had the knockout of the night, a Win, and the attention of Dana White.

This post isn’t about covering his career, it’s about showing you that you too must cultivate that same mindset when you go into everything. 

Each post I write I take on as my only shot to captivate my reader. This article is my only article some people will read, I want it to make an impact. I want to knock people out with my words and have them coming back for more, improving their own life every time they read what I have to say.

Commitment to Self & Belief in Ability to Win

Life is a game, play to Win.

Life is a game, play to Win.

This life isn’t about simply existing; it’s about finding purpose, passion, and living a life filled with plenty of Polaroids. This game of life is all you’ve got, so play to Win. Don’t be content with the meager slice society has told you to appreciate, take as much as you want as often as you want.

Men are told to take single mothers, fat women, and sexless prudes and to then shut up and be happy because. 

Most men do, and they fucking hate themselves for the rest of their life.

Take responsibility for your life, then take action as it is action, not words which leads to change and reclamation of self; Acta, Non Verba…

Don’t go into anything half-assed, commit yourself to actually giving enough of a shit to trying harder. Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say you’re trying your hardest? I doubt it as very few can.

So, start trying harder. Start making the decisions which make you a little uncomfortable, a little sore, lose a little sleep, etc.

Start implementing some intentional discomfort into your life so you stop being so damn cozy all of the time.

Total Dedication to Mission

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

MMA is Conor McGregor’s passion, his purpose and he does not let anything get in-between him and his mission in life.

You must foster this same sense of commitment in yourself.

You must have a mission in this life and your mission must not be your woman or kids. This is about the self that masculine power which is currently dormant inside your body. Wake it up, light that fire, then begin to pursue your mission.

People may say, “Well Conor McGregor doesn’t have a family to worry about.” and they’re right.

Family men do have lives they’re responsible for, I still don’t give a shit about your weak excuse to justify your mediocre performance up to this point. Stop using your family as a burden and start viewing them as fuel. They will follow your lead, so show them what a masculine man is capable of. Lead your family while writing your book, lifting your weights, and pursuing your mission. Find a way to balance them all, then execute.

Conor McGregor’s Traits

Confidence in Self: Mr. McGregor believes in Mr. McGregor, whether you do or not is something he doesn’t giving the slightest of fucks about. Don’t be the guy who says he ‘cocky’ to others or to gain favor with women. You should view that as a trait you want to wrap yourself up in and foster in your own environment. Do your thing, who gives a fuck if your neighbor ‘Steve’ thinks you doing kettlebell looks weird, you do you.

No Reservation: Conor has burned his ship on the shore, there is no retreat. You must do the same. Stop sitting on the fence as to whether you’re going to go ‘all-in’ with what I’m advising on this blog or what you’ve read on The Red Pill. Do or don’t, but stop pussy footing around making a decision and commit like a masculine man should.

Dedication to Mission: Commitment to the craft of Mixed Martial Arts is Conor McGregor’s calling, what is your’s? If you don’t know what your mission is, then why are you taking the actions you’re taking? You’ve got to step back and figure out who you are as a man and what it is you want from this life.

Do it sooner rather than later because the time is ticking and day by day you’ll have one less action you’ll be capable of performing.


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Masculine Model #1 – General Mattis

This is a new series I’m starting, 100% inspired by Jack Sheppard (Follow him on twitter @JSheppard4Prez his content is Gold) a dude who I’m hoping to get a guest post (or two) from in the coming year.

The series will be a response to the mediocre, weak, embarrassing examples of fathers, husbands, and men that are portrayed on TV, in movies, and pretty much in every possible avenue in society.

There are masculine men among us and each week I’m going to write about how you can take the view and aura of these powerful men and make your own version of it. Discussing how you can become the ‘General Mattis’ of your life and become the ‘Conor McGregor’ of your life. The purpose of these posts will be to shift you away from emulating people like Peter Griffin of Family Guy or Phil Dunphy of Modern Family.

The first Masculine Model, which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise is General Mattis, Donald Trump’s newly selected Secretary of Defense.

General Mattis is a man’s man, a guy who is capable of both total obliteration of his enemy while at the same time ready to tend and care for those he loves most. He has the nickname ‘Mad Dog’ and has been described as a Warrior Monk. This is the type of man we could all learn something from.

Men are not conflict averse, they make waves when they feel it is necessary.

Men are not conflict averse, they make waves when they feel it is necessary.

I specifically chose this quote to start off with as it encapsulates the entirety of this man. He is a leader addressing his men, while at the same time he is directly confronting a problem he knows he & his boys are going to face (Protesters). During the brief quote he not only displays his confidence (direct hand shake) but also adds some humor (wink at the Mrs) while finishing with the ultimate slap in PC culture’s face (calling the war protester a pussy).

This is what men do, it’s who we are to the core. We lead, we laugh, we fuck, we fight, and we make it all look like it’s just another day. We don’t complain, we just do our job and we do it with irrational levels of self-confidence and limitless energy.

Set the bar from which all others will be measured.

Set the bar from which all others will be measured.

Mainstream media, those who support the female imperative, and all SJWs would like you to believe that Alpha (masculine) men are these hyper aggressive, compensating, less than average intelligence meatheads.

Read the quote in the photo above; this man is a fucking warrior, a real tip of the spear type dude who has faced the enemy and come back alive more knowledgeable because of it. He also carries a copy of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. Does a masculine man of that caliber strike you as a hyper aggressive, compensating, less than average intelligence meathead?

Of course not; with that understanding it’s important you recognize that nobody defines the masculine man but masculine men.

Gen. Mattis is a man who places as much priority on mental strength as he does physical; something you should be doing as well.

Masculine Role Model Traits

Irrational Confidence: People believe in Gen. Mattis because Gen Mattis Believes in Gen Mattis. People will support you when you support you. Believe in yourself and your mission, start acting like you might actually stay the course this time and others will come onboard.

Mental/Physical Strength: It’s not good enough to only have a hard body just as it’s also not good enough to just have a strong mind. You must have both; you must read as well as lift. Train the mind as you would any other muscle, some heavy days & some light. The key point is to have balance, masculine men are balanced in every facet of their life.

No Aversion to Conflict: Do not view this as any sort of promotion of pointless unprovoked physical violence. When I say no aversion to conflict, what I mean, for the average man, is standing up for your genuine self. Say no when you feel “No.” and “Yes.” when you mean yes. Stop agreeing to this or that in an attempt to please others. Stop telling your wife, “I don’t care what’s for dinner” when you do care. Now amplify that to every aspect of your life, stop being afraid to tell people no. Let the fear of being ostracized and judged dissipate, people follow the man who believes in himself and isn’t afraid to show it to the world.

In Closing

General Mattis is nothing more than a man.

You are nothing more than a man.

You both have 24 hours in a day to do everything it is you need to do. It’s time to start looking at how he’s achieved his level of success as a masculine man and to start removing the influence our weak society and weak role models have had on you. It’s time to become the General of your own life, to take charge and lead yourself and others to living a genuinely masculine life in an age where the world is filled with pussies.


I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.