Creating Your Slut

Rule 1: Be Attractive.
Rule 2: Don’t be Unattractive



If your wife is not attracted to you, she is not going to go out of her way and her comfort zone to satisfy your needs. She might love freaky sex, but if the primal desire isn’t generated by your physicality and mindset, then it will not happen.

It’s not your personality that does it for her; that plays a role, but it’s the whole package, and unfortunately for many family men, comfort has created a personality that isn’t mysterious, romantic, or confident; so while it’s not just your physique that does it for her either, a kind soul won’t compensate for anything – it’s you as a whole.

READ: How To Be An Attractive Man by Ed Latimore

When I say “you need to work on yourself“ what I mean is the overall attributes that make you who you are and thus make you attractive.

Your entire “self“.

You need to look at who you are mentally, physically, spiritually, and professionally along with how you flirt, the way you lay game, tease her, execute active/passive dread; all of it combined is what’s needed to be dialed in.

The whole is nothing more than the sum of each part.

Why You Need to Build a Better Physique

Are you rocking a Dadbod?

If so, you’re off to a poor start.

Do you think your wife should be giving you her best efforts sexually when you can’t take care of yourself?

She doesn’t find you attractive because of your “winning personality“, “amazing charm“, or “suave nature” no, those are not going to save you when the shirt comes off.  You need to get your physical fitness and nutrition dialed in, and here’s a quick test to see if you’re where you need to be regarding your physique:

At this very moment, can you comfortably take your shirt off at the beach in front of your peers?

If not, you aren’t there yet.

If you don’t have visible muscles and decent vascularity, you aren’t reaching your potential as a man, and therefore your woman is not reaching her sexual potential with you.

Whether you feel that this is fair or not is irrelevant.

If you want your wife to be your little slut, then you’re going to have to put in the work and if you can’t be bothered to hit the weights, then stop saying you deserve more from your wife. She doesn’t want a man who has settled down; she wants a champion who is still crushing life with his wife and kids by his side. A man who can’t see his belt or remember the last time he lifted weights is not as capable of a man as those who prioritize their physical well-being and overall strength.

Why Confidence is Key

Check this piece from my Substack ‘The Daily Draft with Zac Small‘ on The Importance of Irrational Confidence.

If you don't have irrational confidence, you will not reach your goals.

— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) November 11, 2022

Are you displaying that irrational sense of self-confidence?

If not, you need to be, as she has to know that you are 100% a man who believes in himself and, as such, one she can trust.

Your wife needs a man of mental and physical confidence; she needs to be comfortable with allowing you to see into the dark recesses of her mind; she has to trust you can handle it.

From birth, women have been taught by society that they’re not supposed to act a certain way. Even with the more open levels of “female liberation” displayed, the normal women out there, they’re taught that they aren’t supposed to want to desire sex after having kids and becoming a wife. Obviously, this is in confrontation with your aims here, so you need to be a more dominant force in her mind to break that conditioning.

I’ve never taken a class or had an educator say that all women think about is sex.

Now, I 100% have had it drilled into my head that sex is all that men think about, usually making it a negative (along with all things masculine) but never females. It makes sense as men have higher testosterone levels, but let us not kid ourselves; women are horny too; we just aren’t allowed to talk about it.

This is why she needs you to be a mentally strong fortress.

Her shit tests can’t shake your mind, you can’t questions yourself because of challenges from others, and there can’t be any other cracks in your mental foundation. If you’re mentally capable of convincing her that being a total slut is acceptable, it removes all responsibility from her – it isn’t her fault she’s like this; it’s yours.

This fortitude of the mind will allow her to trust you enough to let her open up and tell you precisely what it is she wants, thinks, feels, & desires.

Years ago, I’d asked my wife what her craziest fantasies were, and she smiled, blushed, and said I would think it was stupid. I assured her I wouldn’t and that this is the type of conversation we need to have to keep our marriage from ever going stale.

She told me & within the week we fulfilled it, it was as great as she’d imagined.

SAVE THIS POST FOR LATER: 3 QUICK WAYS TO HAVE FUN IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Ever since, she has told me everything that pops into her head.

Sometimes I’ll do it the night she tells me; other times, I’ll do it randomly to show her that we aren’t on a schedule (boring).

It all started with me gaining her trust and her genuinely believing that I had the mental capacity and fortitude to take what she was saying and not make it a joke or laugh at her but rather hear her out and satisfy her desire.

As men, we must also show that we have the confidence and belief in ourselves to do whatever it is she’s going to come up with.

I’ve had wives message me saying that they opened up, and said exactly what they wanted, then their husbands were immature about it…they shared with me that the response made them feel violated.

Imagine being a woman who tells her man she wants to be spanked, role-play, or use a toy (whatever it is) in the bedroom now and then, only to have him laugh in her face and mock her. She may laugh it off and act like she was joking and that “it was stupid“, but something inside her dies when this happens. When she bares it all to you, and you can’t handle it, she loses that part of herself, possibly forever.

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How to Become More Spiritual

I’m not using the term “spiritual” in any religious aspect. When I say that you need to work on the spiritual aspect of yourself, what I mean is that internal spark that exists in every person.

The intangible thing that draws you to your wife and her to you.

Don’t Be a Weak Man

Your mental, physical, and spiritual weakness does a disservice to:

– Your Fellow Men
– Your Women
– Your Children
– Your Country pic.twitter.com/v171Q2ljb0

— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) November 15, 2021

You must relay the message to your wife that by removing the stigma around sex, the two of you will become closer.

You need to let her know that the marriage will improve, both of you will experience greater satisfaction from your life, and that the result of an uninhibited sex life will bring you two together on a level that you’ve never reached before.

Make her soul feel what you’re saying.

When you can take the mask off and show someone who you truly are, you develop a bond that cannot be created in any other way, and that allows them to do the same. You lead her in this because you need her to open up as much to you as she needs you to open up with her – that is how marriages and relationships work best, no fronts or pretend, raw and real.

If your wife gets personal and tells you that she has always wanted to be tied up and had wax poured on her, will you look at her differently?

Do you have the strength to see her for who she is on the inside, without the socially accepted behaviors, but rather the true desires?

If you have developed the mental strength I previously touched on, then she might tell you something crazy like this. If she does and you’re able to hear her out, not making a joke of it, and accept that this is what she wants from you and then you deliver, you will be closer to her and her to you than either of you ever could have been any other way.

This is what I mean by spiritual.

A spiritually open wife can tell you all of the dirty thoughts she has kept to herself for so long in the past, afraid of judgment and ridicule. But you, her husband, you can handle it, and she trusts that. This is going to translate to confirming her belief and support of your role as the Family Alpha.

How to Become More Professional

A man who comes home from work bitching about his day is not the man who is going to get a wife lusting for him; complaining is unattractive behavior; remember Rule #2?.

If all you do when you get home from work is relax, your wife and children will only know you as a man who does nothing but seek comfort.

— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) June 26, 2021

You need to be the man with the plan; it makes no difference whether you’re the boss at your job or not. How you carry yourself and how you present your work to your wife is all that matters. If you can make her feel as though you’ve got it going on at work, you’re golden.

If you are just a worker in a cube, be the best worker that there’s ever been in her mind.

If all you do all day is surf Reddit, you don’t tell your wife that.

You tell her how you managed the funds of whatever, coordinated that strategic implementation of whatever, or how you had to run your team of 5 guys to accomplish what the hell ever.

I don’t recommend lying per se, as you’ll get caught, but don’t diminish what you do. If your job is that dorked up, find a new one that gives you some sense of accomplishment and satisfaction; but never forget that your job does not define you. Your wife isn’t going to be attracted to a man who, Monday through Friday, is complaining, wearing “relaxing clothes“, and sitting on his fat ass in front of a TV drinking beer to “unwind” – you have to be better brothers.

When you come home from your job, whether it was a good or bad day, you need to internalize it. In the military, I called it Flipping the Switch; I couldn’t bring “Navy” Zac home; it didn’t fit the energy in the house.

Remember this important fact; women do not care about your feelings; save that for the men.

Again, if you think it’s not fair, I don’t give a shit; I’m telling you the truth, so find comfort in the discomfort of reality instead of living in your fantasy world of complacency and “Disney” truths.

Don’t give your job your best and your family the rest.

How to Get Better at Flirting

If you aren’t touching your wife often, then you aren’t building the required level of attraction necessary to reach the point where your woman physically cannot keep her hands off you. Attraction is built throughout the day, it isn’t reserved for after the kids go to bed but before you go to sleep.

Marriage is no "End State"

It's the beginning of lifelong courtship.

I flirt with my woman as hard today as I was in 2003.

She makes herself look as good for me & supports my mission as much today as she was in 2003.

A relationship with the right person gets better with age. pic.twitter.com/UmogngcT4F

— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) August 8, 2021

Have you ever flirted with a bartender, waitress,  whomever, and the chick put her hand on your bicep/tricep? Have you ever grabbed your wife’s hand with just two fingers and your thumb, only for a second, so that you could get her attention? Grabbed the back of her neck, the inside of her wrist, or her hips?

Have you ever woken up, looked at her sleeping on her stomach next to you, placed your hand on her lower back, and kissed her neck?

That’s kino and the flirting you need to be doing daily.

It’s something you need to implement into your daily interactions with your wife. Kino, in my opinion, is taken from the ‘language of women‘ as it’s covert communication, something women excel at, and most men fumble fuck their way through.

You want to lay your kino early and often with a woman whom you want to interact with and get to know better. The successful pickup artists all agree on this point about getting women, and just a friendly reminder, your wife is a woman.

I have to add that reminder because some guys still get upset their wives don’t think, love, or act as a man would.

They are women; you need to be gaming every day.

How to Game Your Wife

This goes hand in hand with kino/flirting.

I view game to be the mental equivalent of physical flirting.

Similar to how you need to be smooth with your implementation of kino (confidently and sensually touching her as opposed to awkwardly grabbing her), you also need to game your wife as a masculine man does.

Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you are gaming your wife without even intentionally thinking of doing it.

If you don’t know this already, don’t ever take your wife’s outbursts, shit tests, complaints, or pretty much anything too seriously.

(Note: take serious shit seriously, use your judgment, don’t laugh if she tells you her dad died)

When you’re carefree, a little cocky, smile at her shit tests, steer conversations towards sex, are flirtatious, grab her and kiss her hard, then leave her standing there, all of this is the “game” you should be laying on your wife.

You need to do this because, again, your wife is a woman, and your goal here is for her to be your slut, so get her primed and relaxed, riled up, and excited to be around you. You can’t take the position that because she is your wife, she automatically must want to have sex with you whenever and however.

You need to make yourself irresistible to her, doing whatever gets her going every day.

It’s important to understand that everything I am telling you applies to every day of your life. Just because you had her riled up yesterday does not mean you’ve got it made today. You’ve got to make her fall in love, get the tingles, and be turned on every day, and you must start the moment your feet touch the floor in the morning; welcome to marriage game.

How to Tease Your Woman

I fuck with my wife constantly.

You know the whole, “Pick on the girls at the playground” concept? I’ve done that since we got together in 2003.

Why?

Because it works.

Talking shit, pulling pranks, and just straight tactfully messing with your wife leads to a healthy relationship, and it keeps your woman feeling young. This youth transfers to her acting like a young feminine lady, leading to her performing like a sex vixen.

More importantly, she is feeling and women need to feel something to be their best with a man.

This is why chicks are addicted to drama; it’s a varying feeling throughout the day.

Now, when messing around with her, you must have some skill.

The goal is to be:

• mischievous
• cute
• handsome
• & funny
• not an immature dick.

I would never pull the chair out from under her at a party as that would make her look stupid in front of everyone, and she’d break her ass.

Both are negatives, and neither leads to attraction and bonding; the outcome is far more likely to be resentment and frustration. What I would do (and have done) is something simple like replacing her incense with a sparkler.

She freaked out when it started sparking, and our living room looked like a fourth of July firework went off. She called me all sorts of names, yet she was laughing and smiling the entire time.

She felt

1. panic
2. fear
3. joy

and when the smoke finally cleared – attraction.

Sometimes I’ll hide things, put stuff where she can’t reach them, refuse to give a direct answer, or give an overly complicated answer to any questions that she should know.

There is a fine line between being funny and being a dick.

Be mischievous in your dealings and always have her looking over her shoulder. If you can make it have some sexual innuendo even better, but for the love of whatever you hold dear, don’t be the annoying dude who thinks he is funny; if a positive outcome isn’t had by the end of the night, you’re doing it wrong.

What is Dread?

Do you know what the single greatest compliment a wife can receive is?

Another woman who finds her husband attractive.

That sense of external validation will skyrocket your market value as a man through the roof. The more girls that desire you, the more your wife will desire you. Now, this isn’t some fucked up game of “let’s chase female validation” as that’s some weak shit; this should be the natural by-product of you working on yourself to be a high-value man.

Welcome to dread...

There are two forms of dread that you can lay on your wife:

1. Active Dread: When you intentionally take actions that are designed to ensure your wife is aware that you are a man who is capable of getting chicks.

Getting this attention comes from your laying game (flirting) with other women. You can’t come across as intentionally doing this, or she’ll know you’re looking to get a rise out of her, which will have some blow-back.

Instead, you work your charm and let her overly active mind do the rest.

2. Passive Dread: This (should) remains consistent throughout your relationship, as it’s you being a hot dude.

Going out without her, whether to the gym, the bookstore, or wherever, just getting away from her for a few hours creates some dread. Being physically fit, witty, and successful are also forms of passive dread.

You are doing nothing more than merely existing, and it creates attraction from other women.

Chicks can sense covert communication from a mile away.

When you wear that tailored button-down shirt and the ladies are checking you out, eye fucking you, biting their lips, or staring a little longer than normal, you create passive dread with your wife.

She sees these signs and knows these chicks want what she has; this raises both of your SMV.

This is why maintaining a physique is key, hard bodies are earned, and nowadays, they’re rare.

You must look good in your clothes and, more importantly, look good naked. The entire process is easier when you’re good-looking, so lift your weights and eat right.

If you’re looking for a hormone specialist, nutritionist, or master trainer, I recommend the Coach I’m working with who handles all three, Phil Foster of PhilFosterFitness.com.

How to Talk To Your Wife About Sex

Now that we’re off the topic of fixing you, your environment must be overhauled.

You need to create an environment that promotes the type of behavior you want to pull out of your wife. This is not an easy task; as I mentioned above, this requires total commitment to the process of being your best day in and out.

Marriage is not for the weak.

— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) December 15, 2022

In this instance, we’re looking to create an environment that makes her feel that it is not only acceptable but also that it is expected she speak & act freely when it comes to her sexual desires.

This will take some time, and you must keep the topic on the table.

One way to get sex out in the open is to have sex out in the open. 

I’m not implying that you go out to a park and screw each other among the squirrel folk; instead, I’ suggesting that you take your sexual adventures out of the bedroom, where they have most likely been quarantined for far too long.

Have sex in the living room, your basement, the car, and the shower.

Show your wife that sex is neither limited to the bedroom nor is it to only be discussed at night before bed. You can have sex anytime, anywhere, and you can also discuss it anytime and anywhere. There are no chains, censorship, or “off limits” any longer between you and your wife.

Do you want her to return to the freak she was when you first started dating or like she has never been before?

Then let her know that it’s OK to do exactly that and not only is it OK, but that this slutty behavior will be rewarded through your more positive time and attention.

How to Keep Your Wife Wanting Sex?

When your wife does what you want her to do, let her know it.

Marriage will not fix you.

Marriage will not fix your girl.

Marriage will not fix your relationship issues.

—————

Marriage, like alcohol, amplifies what is already there.

— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) December 12, 2022

Be vocal in your interactions and let her know if it’s what you want. If she gives you the greatest lap dance you’ve had in years, instead of asking for more or saying thanks and then leaving, give her your time and attention, she met you where you asked her to meet you, don’t take it for granted or become greedy, appreciate her gift.

Go in for a quick snuggle, grab her and pull her close, look deep into her eyes, telling her how fantastic she is and how glad you are that she’s let her guard down.

All men want to be lusted for, so let that passion express itself freely in your marriage.

I don’t mean a birthday blowjob or doggy-style once a month; I mean pure and raw lust, passion where clothes get ripped, and someone may get a scratch or two.

Sex is what makes a marriage a marriage; without it you’re roommates or “co-parents“

Keeping this in mind, a healthy sex life must be fostered for a healthy marriage.

I hope this helps, and men, I hope you enjoy your slut.

Remember, you fix this by fixing you.

If you don’t have your shit together, start there.

If you need accountability or other men where you can privately discuss this type of stuff, join my men’s only Fraternity where where many deadbedrooms have been revived.

We focus on all aspects of what it is to be a man, Mind, Body (too include his sex life), and Spirit. If that brotherhood, accountability, and judgement free space with the expectation that you do the work is what you need, join the Fraternity of Excellence today.

I wish you the best on this journey, don’t forget to enjoy the ride.