Raise Your Daughter To Be A Girl: A Letter
Throughout your life there will be people who try to attribute all of your success as well as all of your failures to your gender.
These people may not be cognizant of what they’re doing, so as your father, I’m going to make you are always aware.
Your mother and I are raising you to be the best you and in no uncertain terms does that mean we want you to be the best a “girl can be” because you are not just a girl – you are you and together, we can ensure you live the greatest life where you always get exactly what you’re worth (and maybe a little more).
Boys and Girls Are Different and That’s Okay.
You and your brother think differently, act differently, and are built differently physiologically. Because of this I’m sure you’ve noticed that your mother and I have catered our approach to raising the two of you.
What works for one may not be the best for the other; you’re siblings, you aren’t clones.
In no way does having the same parents mean you should think, act, and respond to life the same. You’re both two unique souls and we love you both more than you’ll ever know.
Unfortunately in the age of “Politically Correct” everything, people are pushing selfish agendas behind the scenes which are taking aim at you and your brother.
People want to remove the differences to make you both the same, something neither your mother nor I will ever allow so long as you live under our roof.
Your strength and beauty is found in your differences, similar to how mom and I are a balance for one another so to are you and your brother.
As my daughter, I’ll never allow anyone to make you feel there is something wrong with you for being a “girlie girl” or not being interested in playing football with the boys.
Your pursuits in academia should not be based on where “girls are underrepresented”
While the rest of the world tries to hammer you with their expectations of what girls should be doing, I’d like you to know that you are not living a life according to anyone’s script but your own.
Your mother and I have tried our hardest to keep you shielded from the influence of society so that you could develop into your genuine self.
Be you, not the person you think others will like or approve of.
Someday you’ll be venturing out into the world without me being there for you to grab by the hand. Maybe it’s when you go to college; if you choose to do so, I never want to hear that you are focusing solely on STEM careers & degrees because that’s where women are needed.
Needed by whom?
You are a bright star in a dark world, you need to let that light shine and the only way to keep that fire burning is for you to continue to follow your passions, natural abilities, and personal goals that you’ve set for your life.
Go into whatever field you want to, then live the adventure of your life by writing the lines up as you go instead of following the script given to you by someone else.
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You know your mother and I are not the most fond of college unless the degree puts you straight into a job, but we support your decision and reasoning and if you explain it to us, we’ll give you the raw advice you both love and hate us sharing.
Remember, I’ll never tell you what you want to hear, but rather my true feelings on the subject you present to me.
Align your job with your passion for maximum life enjoyment.
While society continues to push a completely false narrative and receive assistance via ads like the AUDI one above, you aren’t getting off the hook that easy little lady.
When you enter the workforce it is going to be your responsibility to negotiate your compensation.
If you feel you’re worth a set amount, then you make someone pay that amount to get you; if you’re as good as you believe, they will.
If you see a man doing the exact same job as you and he is getting paid more, look at why.
It’s possible he’s doing more than you see; such as putting in later hours, working side projects, taking fewer vacations, etc.
All of this research into his pay vs your’s will act as bullets in your gun.
You can then march to your boss and fire them off asking why he is getting more when you’re doing x, y, and z.
If there is no acceptable justification, then you choose your self-respect over the comfort of the job and leave.
Your mother and I will never have an issue with that and would support the decision, that boss sounds like an asshole anyways.
I will never berate you for choosing to stand up for yourself.
I’m also not going to allow your poor negotiation skills and research which causes you to take a job making less than others be tossed up as inequality for women.
It isn’t inequality, it’s poor planning on your part and you know it.
You are my daughter, you know that in this family we choose that difficult path of reality over the comfort of the lie.
You have to take what you want from life, it won’t be given.
You and your brother grew up with loving parents who didn’t follow the “average” life cycle.
I’m a writer and speaker, your mother is a Realtor, and together we work for ourselves, doing what we please when we please.
You were able to see how harmoniously a family operates when everyone is filling their natural roles and working to support one another’s goals.
It is now your turn to fill the role you carve for yourself.
Don’t let your sisters in society make you feel ashamed for who you are and don’t let them give you excuses for your failures.
Own them, make your life your life and when you lose, don’t blame it on being a woman; when you win, don’t let other girls take it as something which helps their sex.
You do it all because this is your life; mom and I will always be there cheering from the stands.
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