The Disappointment of Improvement
There is an aspect to the development of self which is incredibly frustrating. It’s the greatest downside to improvement there is, yet nobody talks about it.
When you are taking charge of your life, seeing new gains in the gym, finding new veins on your body, and mentally feeling more joy and clarity than ever before, what could possibly pull you down?
What could destroy such a beautiful feeling?
The unfortunate reality is that even though you are blasting through these personal milestones, there’s no guarantee that those you love most are going to join you.
When you “unplug” and take complete ownership of who you are as a man, there is oft this unspoken, yet deeply held covert contract that those around you are also going to want to join you for a ride on the success train.
As with all covert contracts, this rarely comes to fruition.
You’re alone and the fact that you cannot simply will those around you to action and into joining your changes can in turn sour the taste of your own success.
For many, it was those they loved most that led to the implosion of their campaign towards personal conquest and glory. The battlefield of men looking to reclaim their lives is strewn with the bodies of those who, when realizing they were alone, decided to quit instead of carry on because they did not want to leave their loved ones behind.
Brothers, you cannot save them all.
If your friends and family do not support the changed behaviors you’ve implemented into your daily routine in the attempt to raising the standard of your performance and life satisfaction, fuck ’em.
Move on with your head held high. Go out and find others online or in your community who are also getting after it day in and day out. Do not let the mediocrity of others impact your drive to succeed, if you’ve got to go at it alone, so be it, do what you need to do for you.
Your improved demeanor, level of health, and overall improvement at living is all that is needed to recruit those closest to you. If they want to experience what you’re experiencing, they’ll let you know but you’ve got to accept two things:
- If you’ve been the type of guy who goes on these “kicks” often, then everyone views this as just another phase that you’re going to quit soon because you lack the discipline to remain committed to anything for longer than two weeks.
- Your success is a mirror which forces friends and family to recognize their own mediocre results and existence. If they admit that you are onto something and that they should be living differently, then it means that they are currently wrong in the habits and nobody likes to admit they need to do better.
You cannot help those around you until they’re willing to take a bit bite of humble pie.
Once ego is removed or they see that you are dedicated and the results you’ve gotten are something they’d like to experience, then they just may join you and start to change their own negative behaviors and replace them with the same positives ones that you have instilled.
You cannot make people read books, eat better, or lift weights but you can do those things yourself and be an open individual who is ready to help if ever asked.
You may find that those you love most begin to resent you for breaking the mold they were happy to confine you to. There’s nothing you can do about that, you’ll be disappointed for sure, but don’t in any way take their insecure projection as a sign that you’re the one who is wrong. Raising your standard is the greatest step you can take to optimizing your life experience and that’s what this is all about; eating right, reading, removing toxic people and behaviors, and lifting weights they’re all actions being taken so we can experience this thing called life in the most optimal manner for as long as possible.
- You don’t get to see the view from the top of mountains if you are too physically weak to reach the peak.
- You don’t get to experience the entire human spectrum if you do not read of those who came before us.
- You cannot fill your biologically programmed desire for social interaction if all you allow yourself to feel is hate.
When I talk to men about reclaiming their authentically masculine self, I tell them to focus on the entire trident of masculinity. I don’t say lifting weights is the answer, neither do I say reading books is; I tell men that in order to regain ownership of their ‘self’ and to get the most this world has to offer, they need to be a balanced individual who does all of these things.
Do not allow those you care about to be the ones who remove that fire from your chest. You’re on the right path and as bad as you want them to experience that feeling of joy and pride in their own lives, that is not your job. Your job is to be the living example and to accept that somethings you can control and other things you cannot.
You cannot control the people around you, but you can ensure that you continue to actively work towards living the most optimal life that you can and by doing so, just maybe those around you will do the same.
Acta Non Verba,
Join Craig and I along with over 100 other men inside of the Fraternity of Excellence: