Getting Over Your Relationship PTSD Pt. II: Give Love One More Chance

For most men, it is a woman who opens their eyes to the reality of the world.

In my first post on Getting Over Your Relationship PTSD I brought up the point that how things used to be do not dictate how things will be.

Many men have given the power over their inner self entirely to the women of their lives. They let their ex-relationships dictate their future relationships, trying to do the opposite of before or they fall into the same routine ultimately leading to a love life filled with redundancy without progress.

You need to break the cycle.

Married men, divorced men, guys coming out of a shitty LTR, and even the men who had a plate cheat on them thus scarring their soul permanently are not acting in accordance with their masculine self if they’re basing decisions off how they can avoid heartache again.

If you build a fire and burn your hand, do you forever hide from the flames or are you more careful the next time you handle it?

This same level of respect and learning should be applied to the past lovers of your life.

Your last girl burned you, instead of refusing to let the next girl in and thus sabotaging yourself, how about you get out of your own way and enjoy the moment. Not every woman you sleep with, take on a date, or go exclusive with is going to be there for your entire life.

Your perspective on the world is controlled by you. Don’t allow other to shift your view.

Men are the true romantics, because of this any notion that men should avoid love or women is telling the man to repress his authentic desires. Society does that enough, we do not need other men spouting this crap as well.

You should love freely, you should let the pain from your past act as a reminder, not as an obstacle to appreciating all this world has to give.

Be a genuinely happy person who smiles at the waitress without thinking “she’s a slut” or interact with women without getting lost in your head thinking, these bitches will succumb to AF/bb as if a woman following her biological nature is somehow wrong.

Love your next plate, love yourself, smile at the nature of women, enjoy the sluts, if married laugh again with your wife and stop making every interaction an attempt to reclaim the years you had a dead-bedroom.

Some men deserve sex more than others, do not get pissed at your wife for not being attracted to an overweight, sensitive, ‘nice guy’. Instead, continue to have fun and work towards becoming a man who a woman willingly submits to.

The past is the past, get over it or it will kill you.

You cannot walk through the rest of life with your fists clenched raging with vitriol at what happened to you. It’s over, move on and make the best of the rest of your days. Learn to love again, let the hate thaw and start appreciating things as simple as the breeze.

Do not give women control over your ability to experience the romantic nature of your masculinity. Do not for one second allow something a woman did to you to be a part of who you are as a man.

You must learn to share that side of you again. Instead of being afraid to let others ever get that close, let them in & be aware that it may all come crumbling down and if it does you’ll just smile in the rubble because that’s what men do.

Make yourself irreplaceable in her life; set the bar from which all other ‘Chads’ will be measured. While doing so, remember that you have a limitless reserve of love and if/when your relationship ends, this time you know that you will be fine and able to love again.

Women lose a little of themselves with every man they love.

You must stoke your own passionate flame.


Men are limitless, yet are more prone to losing their ability to love due to their more violent and passionately romantic nature.

Control that powerhouse of love within and make every moment count.

You cannot walk the world bitter and cold because of the cards life handed you. The woman who burned you is not to be resented, she was a checkpoint in your life to better understanding yourself.

Choose to smile and find joy in the world we live in. The Red Pill is about accepting the brutal reality over the comfort of the lie and masculinity is about authentic living. Combine these two to live the most optimal life.

This post isn’t about women, it’s about you. Don’t ever allow another person to control who you are and how you feel, you must keep that fire burning inside, hot and bright. Nobody can snuff those flames out unless you allow them to.

Let go of the hate and give love one more chance.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter Drew

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  • KDog says:

    Straight up good stuff. Brutal reality.

  • rugby11 says:

    I needed this so much this morning…
    “The past is the past, get over it or it will kill you.”
    Some triggers are used as bunchmark at aiming for better goals and behaviors and using your trauma and pain as a boon to grow from.

  • […] Getting Over Your Relationship PTSD Pt. II: Give Love One More Chance […]

  • Limitless says:

    Bonfire is not good comparison to women. One does not become addicted to fire, however onites is commonplace. Therefore comparison should be made to addictive substances or activities like gambling, which also gives men high.
    You may enjoy gambling or weed and to some men in reasonable quantities gambling and weed does no harm. However it is common knowledge that for most men overindulging may lead to addiction very fast.
    There is solid evidence available that even red pill man will succumb to his changed neurochemistry and in retrospect will baffled what came over him and why he did all those stupid things all over again. Plates are cool if they have SMW low enough to yours and not change your neurochemistry. Keep in mind that one cannot battle chemistry introduced in system with willpower more successfully than one may regulate heartrate at will. Therefore I see advice given as irresponsible. It is like to advise cured addict to try another type of drug promising that he will feel good and he will not get addicted again ever. Obviously that is bad advice to former addict.

  • Poster says:

    “remember that you have a limitless reserve of love and if/when your relationship ends, this time you know that you will be fine and able to love again.”

    I cried….

    Thank you

  • Anon1 says:

    “and even the men who had a plate cheat on them”

    I don’t understand. Plates are non committed hook ups. How can you have cheating when it’s just sex?

  • […] SFC Ton had a great comment about this surrender: […]

  • gangin says:

    Nice article. Your writing keeps getting better. Keep it up!

  • Tom says:

    Wow such a beautiful message. I really needed this. Thank you for reminding me to appreciating all this world has to offer, to smile and admire the nature of women, and most importantly to love myself.
    The world is so incredibly complex we often need to be reminded to take a seat and just enjoy the ride.

  • Old Goat says:

    Sometimes it’s hard not to become jaded, especially when not only experiencing a recurring outcome, but seeing so many other people experience an almost identical outcome. Finding a good balance is important, just like any other aspect of life. Thanks for this article. People like you have helped me find my purpose in life & how I can help others in a similar situation.

    • TheFamilyAlpha says:

      I’m glad you took the time to write this out.

      A lot of times we find ourselves witnessing our failure as well as that of those around us repeating because we’re keeping ourselves in that level.

      It’s time to make a few changes, shift your perspective, and start living a little differently.

      Life is great

      Life is short

      Let’s enjoy the moments we’ve got and get ourselves and our fellow men to the next level where things aren’t so bad.

  • The private woman says:

    I love this post. Amen

  • […] On this blog, Twitter, as well as those entering The Fraternity of Excellence there are a lot of newly unplugged men who are asking for advice and guidance concerning their marriage.  There is quite a bit of doom, gloom, resentment, and frustration in the beginning; so much so that it has been given the title of ‘The Anger Phase‘. This is your reminder that while your perceived reality crumbles and you recognize the world for what it truly is, you should still be having the time of your life. […]

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