Keeping passion, desire, joy, and productivity in a marriage is difficult. The problem is that the things you do aren’t new and because they aren’t new they lose that initial feeling of wow. I’ve written about this in Remain UNpredictable as routine kills marriages.
Routine = complacency and complacency = the death of attraction.
This exact concept can be applied to all things in your life. Yet, we don’t discuss it as often with material possessions as we do our women.
I have multiple posts on how to keep your woman on her toes and ways to keep that fire & attraction alive. Yet, I haven’t written about the necessity of doing this for the rest of the stuff in your life and that is what the aim of this piece is today.
Appreciate the comforts in your life, by removing them.
I was born in 1987
I am in the fortunate group of people who appreciate the outdoors (I used to be kicked out of the house until the street lights were on) yet I also experienced Nintendo, PS1, etc.
I learned about remaining active, I did not having any fat friends (obesity wasn’t even a thing) and I was exposed to technology so I can also navigate all gaming systems and smart phones. I mentally live in both the old and new world and it has benefited me immensely.
One of the problems with this is that I am further and further removed from the time when I didn’t have these luxuries. Long gone are the days where I’d have to wait to use a phone or not have hot water.
The constant comforts we’ve been afforded have made us weak and unappreciative, these are not masculine traits and therefore need to be identified and eradicated.
If you want to get back to enjoying the process and not just reaching the end, you need to remove some comforts from your life.
- When is the last time you took a cold shower?
- When is the last time you slept on the ground or a hard surface?
- When is the last time you went a day without the internet or a phone?
- When is the last time you made a fire to cook your food?
A lot of guys will watch shows like Man v. Wild or Naked & Afraid and say, I could do that yet these guys have never gone a 24 hour period without shoving something into their mouth. How do you know you are prepared to face the elements if you never expose yourself to those elements?
Learn to appreciate what you’ve got and the beauty of the little things by taking them away. The easiest way to do this is to go camping. Leave the phone behind, the electronic games behind, running water behind, the memory foam all of it.
Grab a thin blanket, a tent, a water filter, and maybe something to throw on a fire or a pan to boil water. then go out for at least 3 days.
You’ll learn more about yourself in those three days than you would reading 50 books on being a survivalist.
Remove the comforts and then you’ll appreciate the comforts.
If you don’t want to go camping try any of these:
Only take cold showers Monday-Friday: Saturday that warm shower will have never felt so good.
Go 3 days without sex or any type of ‘release’: The first time you have sex you may not last long before blowing that 3 day build up, but it will feel amazing and have you appreciating the art of sex even more.
Leave your phone behind: People lose their shit over this one. They say, what if there’s an emergency? So what, you find out later? I have a wife and two kids, I love them to death, but when I go camping, there’s no phone and I’m gone 3-5 days. You don’t have to leave the phone behind for that long, but go to work without it or when you get home throw it in your closet, shut the door, and go about the rest of your day.
Leave the internet behind: Ever go a week without getting online? Didn’t think so. A week is like 2 internet months. So much can happen and change, so be it. Your life isn’t about being up to date 24/7, it’s about actually living.
Leave TV/HULU/HBO/Netflix/VideoGames/Etc behind: If you are in the routine of go to work – come home – watch TV – eat – watch TV – sleep then now is a pretty good time to get your head out of your ass. Years of your life are going to pass you by and you aren’t going to have a thing to show for it. Remove the television and then enjoy the time you’ve created for other endeavors. Then, when you want to watch a TV show or a movie with your lady or alone, you’ll appreciate having the means to do so. TV should be viewed as a privilege that is earned through completing work, not something that is expected or a part of your daily routine.
These are but a few, I realized I could go on a pretty much limitless tangent, but the principle is there; remove the shit you are fond of so you actually enjoy it and don’t just take it for granted, removing the thrill and appreciation you once had.
By doing so you’ll exercise your self-discipline, have confidence that you can handle uncomfortable situations, and most importantly you’ll no longer take things for granted but appreciate the value of each little thing you have in your life.
Acta Non Verba,
Be sure to follow Craig and I on Twitter for daily real time engagement:
You can also join Craig and I along with over 100 other men inside of the Fraternity of Excellence: