Is it starting to make sense?
First, recognize why it is you went along this line of searching online. Were you looking to bring life into a deadbedroom? Were you struggling to find a group of men to associate yourself with since you have no masculine friends? Or did you get burned in a relationship where you, “never saw it coming?“
After some reading you’re beginning to understand that this is who you were literally born to be, a masculine man in this world and armed with that knowledge comes the responsibility to start acting the part.
Eventually you begin to apply the readings and all of the sudden your wife thinks you’re an asshole. She says you’re being cocky, pushy, and different. While dealing with her external barrage of shit tests you are internally trying to ‘find the path‘ and figure out who it is you are in this new reality.
This is a critical point in your journey as it when she pushes back that you have to make the decision that you’re either doing this for her, or you’re doing it for you.
If you are improving and reclaiming your position as the masculine powerhouse and leader of your clan for your wife then you will revert back to your old ways, avoiding the confrontations that this new behavior is bringing to your life.
But, if you stay the course and say, ‘fuck that, I’m doing this for me and if she wants to fight, then so be it…..but I am no longer repressing who I am’ then with or without her you are going to push forward and create the best ‘you‘ that there can be; improvement and authentic ownership to the grave.
If you choose the second option, known as the more difficult of the two paths, then your life will never be the same. From this point on, you are grinding every single day. You’ll have to find comfort in the discomfort and embrace the harshness of reality over the safety of the lie.
Eventually, on a random day that’s likely to arrive after your wife throws a shit test at you and you ignored it she is going to give you an amazing, unsolicited blowjob or sex session that reminds you of when you first began dating.
This is another critical point in your journey. This is when the lightbulb really goes off and you think, ‘Holy shit, when I act like the man I am and not the man I’ve been told to be, my life is way better.”
At this point you will either become content and take your foot off the gas thinking, ‘I made it’ or you’ll use this progress as fuel to continue on.
If you again choose the masculine path to continue pushing forward, then you’ll have a lot more bulbs going off. The problem is similar to how when men get married they get complacent, men also get complacent as soon as they see the first sign of success.
This is when you realize that all of the fights about you being an asshole were not your wife saying that she didn’t want the asshole but rather she was content with you as her provider and the power shift was causing discomfort in her comfortable world. In that world she set the rules and was the captain of your ship. In that world she was in charge of the sex, using it as a weapon as well as setting the standard of the marriage.
In that world, she resented you.
Your wife always wanted you to be her captain and to lead her. She wants the attraction and spontaneity which comes from being in a relationship with a driven man. She wants to know other women want you and to see other men want to be like you.
But, she could never tell you that, because she doesn’t know she wants these things. Just like she can’t tell you she likes the asshole, she can’t tell you she wants to simply be a feminine wife to her masculine husband.
All these bulbs start going off in your mind and it becomes easier and easier to pass the shit tests, push yourself to improve, and maintain a higher standard for your marriage.
As men we are the romantics, not the women (fuck society and their promotion of men to repress that aspect of their ‘self’). We feel deeply and think deeply, it’s who we are. Once all of these truths align in your mind, do not become resentful at the fact that you’ve lost years of your life believing the lie. That is weak as fuck and unmanly.
Accept that here you are, now armed with the needed information. Whether you’ve been brainwashed by our feminine society for a year, decade, or possibly longer it makes no difference. You have now and the choices you make in the present will determine where your ship is heading.
Let the actions of your woman be your buoys. Keep leading your clan and steering your ship as far as you want to go and in the direction you want to go. You are now the captain and it’s your responsibility to achieve everything in this life that you want. Your wife and kids are along for the ride, ensure they enjoy it and make sure you take time to smile as well.
Take Action and Take Care,
If you’d like to support the work I’m doing or donate for any benefit it may have brought to your life, the best way to do so would be via one of the means below.