Machiavelli for the Married Man

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

I’d be remiss not to immediately acknowledge those who’ve helped me put a name to and achieve a better understanding of the strategy I’ve been implementing to achieve my goals inter-personally and professionally throughout my life.

Illimitable Man, one of the top bloggers in the Manosphere whom I discovered through The Red Pill & Lionel Fox of Modern Machiavelli, whom I was very fortunate to cross paths with via Twitter have unknowingly been my mentors during this journey of self-understanding.

Both of these men have allowed me to find the name, then tame and better understand the wild horse that existed in my mind. This beast represented the Machiavellian tendencies I had developed as a result of a childhood scarred with death, independence, and strict adherence to military-esque styled discipline. Through the writings of the two aforementioned men I was able to make this wild stallion my Bucephalus.

I could never have been able to elevate myself above the board of life and get the entire view of the realm of what is possible if not for these two gentlemen. For that I will be eternally grateful; My hope is to someday find a way to pay it back.

What is Machiavellian behavior?

Being a Machiavellian individual means that you have the ability to see more than meets the eye of the average individual.

You’re able to see what motivates people, you’re able to see the most minor of movements in the body, hands, and face and these movements tell you things the person doesn’t want you to know. The Machiavellian man is able to see exactly where he fits in the machine of daily life and because he can see his place as well as that of everyone else, he is able to see exactly what he has to do to get to wherever it is he needs to go.

Machiavellian men are able to get women to fall in love with them and are able to just walk away leaving her shattered in pieces while he feels nothing as she was not a thing more than a means of passing the time or getting a need met.

Machiavellian men often find themselves in positions of control.

In The Prince for example, you will find the origins of Machiavellianism and an introduction to how you can get yourself into a position of power with others both personally as well as professionally. It teaches you to base your actions on the practical aspects rather than the moral or ideological considerations a majority of people are restrained by.

Why would anyone need to know about this?

Have you ever played the game as a kid (or bored adult) where you talk about what your one superpower would be if you could choose?

It’s clearly a game and a way to pass time as you aren’t actually going to ever be able to see through walls, fly, or run faster than a bullet. What the Machiavellian approach to life is offering is a real life hack. It’s offering you a set of skills and understanding; a series of strategies that are borderline super.

Because of my natural Machiavellian behavior I’ve often been asked if I were psychic, my wife is convinced that I am an empath, and my friends have gotten annoyed on more than one occasion when I get bored with their banter and remove their sense of self-importance by delivering the punchline & point of their long winded discussion.

I know when I’m being lied to even though I have no ‘proof’, I accelerated through the ranks much faster than any of my peers in the military, and for some reason, even though I’ve placed myself in precarious situations a multitude of times, I’ve always been able to work my way out of any potential consequences.

Implementing Machiavellian behavior is the closest thing you’ll ever have to a superpower. Before reading IM & MM I just thought that I ‘got’ people, but it goes way beyond that.

When you are able to talk to someone and you recognize the twitch of a cheek, movement of an eye, spasm of a muscle and from those subtle cues you can tell exactly what you wanted to know, then you will begin to appreciate what this life strategy is all about.

To get an answer without ever asking a question is something which can benefit you in very obvious ways.

We live in a society where physical communication and the ‘art of conversation’ are losing their frequency as well as their place on the level of priorities. So much so that people are no longer aware that they can give information away through their posture.

What this means for the Mach is that while he trains to learn these cues and improve his reception of reality, everyone else is getting worse. A majority of the population you interact with daily have no defense to the Machiavellian man. Not only do these people have no defense due to their inexperience, but they may actually invite you in without ever knowing you are conspiring against them.

Gentlemen, this is how you win a war without firing a shot. You have your enemy open their gates, bring you inside, and show you all of their secrets. Then they thank you for your time while sending you on your way.

People love to talk and they are so used to dealing with fools who are not listening but rather waiting for their turn to speak that their tongues have gotten loose.

It happens so often that they forget what consequences await if they were to share the wrong information. This person could be your employer and you could win their favor by lending your ear when they need to vent. They don’t know it, but you’re going to truly listen while they share their weaknesses or share the information you need to know in order to capitalize on a situation which will place you at the forefront of where you need to be when you need to be there.

Before you know it your boss is wondering how you’ve managed to surpass him.

By the time he sees you are a threat to his position you’ve already placed yourself into a secure station where you cannot be touched; and now your old boss must gain favor from you.

This is not taken from a fictional novel, this is what I have done time and again throughout my life.

Normally I wouldn’t even share this as magicians who share their tricks don’t have a job for long. I am showing you surface level actions, I am layers and years ahead at this point in my life.

These behaviors can be learned to a degree, but similar to leadership, true Machiavellian implementation seems to stem from individuals who are predisposed to this type of behavior for whatever reason from their past & mental development.

As I stated, I’ve been this way and have been able to read people and put that knowledge to work and have them work for me for as long as I can remember. My past shaped my mind to work like this, is it something that can be taught?

Well, I am writing about it so the answer is yes, I can try and open your mind to this approach to life. You may only be able to implement certain aspects before you are bored, forget to pay attention, or think it’s a waste of time.

For those who are predisposed to picking up on this quickly or those who have lived this way and just didn’t know it had a name, researching the How & Why will enable you to take your performance and understanding to the next level.

What you are able to do now, you will be able to do more efficiently and your self-efficacy will rise to new heights. This confidence will add to the aura you give off which will further intrigue those around you and will also enable you to push further and gain more in the situations you choose to apply it.

Remember, this isn’t a popularity contest but rather an amoral strategy and vision.

What do you want to gain from this?

It’s the question you must answer before you get too deep.

What is your goal?  Is it to gain control over more people by advancing in your job? Is it to gain a greater sphere of control with regard to your friends and family? Or is it to become more efficient at understanding and dealing with your enemies?

There is potential to learn this type of behavior for the sole purpose of working yourself into a position where you can do damage to others. Think of the quote, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” and understand this, the concept of remorse and empathy for your enemies is not found in the Machiavellian man. If you feel somehow wrong with this fact, close this piece now.

Machiavellian strategy is like a lighter, it can be used to start a fire to protect you from the elements or it can be used as a means to burning down someone’s home while they sleep inside.

It all comes down to the individual wielding the flame.

What place does Machiavellian behavior have in marriage?

Understanding the nature of your woman is a skill set every man should have.

Understanding the inner workings of her mind is certainly a skill a man should have if he plans to get the most that the relationship has to offer. Similar to the way a Machiavellian man can work himself to a position within his organization, he can also work his marriage to where he gets his exact needs met.

This means a man can understand the motivators, needs, and weaknesses of his wife and exploit them to achieve his end goal, whatever that may be.

For me, I have used these techniques to get my wife to delete her Facebook, take up painting, become a submissive woman, and I’ve created a sex life without boundary. All of these actions my wife has taken, she thinks she has done them of her own accord and to a degree she has. But her decision to take that course of action was reached through my guidance and direction.

The term manipulation has a negative connotation to it; regardless of the political correctness of the term it’s exactly what a husband must employ if he wants total control of the standard of his marriage.

This isn’t just to the benefit of men, my wife is happier than she has ever been in her life. I am completely satisfied with my woman and we both raise our children with the same focus on raising them right and not having them turn out like the undisciplined and unappreciative little shits most children have become in this day and age.

This didn’t just happen.

My marriage is a part of the exception because I implemented Machiavellian techniques to reach the position of power and trust I needed to in order to have direct the control over the marriage.

Where will this help you in your marriage?

Machiavellian strategies will help you gain control in whatever aspect of your marriage you want. If it’s sex, joy, submission, or finances that you are looking to take charge of all you need to do is cater your behavior to dominating that area.

This is different from ‘unplugging’ as when you become Red Pill aware, you are deciding to open your eyes to the reality of inter-sexual dynamics; Machiavellian application and awareness is all encompassing, it is not strictly limited to the relationship between men and women.

When you implement a Machiavellian approach to your marriage, it can be done independent of embraced masculinity. Hypothetically, you could implement Mach behavior and have your wife giving you great sex without ever following The Red Pill’s guide to getting sex from embraced masculinity.

To make it clear, in marriage the goal is to get your wife to genuinely desire you as well as be complementary to your pursuit of your mission in life. The best implementation, in my opinion, can be found in the combination of both embraced masculinity along with strategic Machiavellian tactics.

I entered my marriage in my frame.

The masculine and feminine roles were defined and there was never a need to implement a “Red Pill Overhaul“. I don’t include this to stroke my ego but rather to inform you that I do not have first-hand experience dealing with the combination of both Mach behavior as well as implementing TRP.

I believe my theory is sound, but as with everything, you should use your own judgement when applying these techniques and catering your approach accordingly.

Something to keep in mind when shifting the frame of the relationship is that you will meet resistance from your wife who has become accustomed to your supplicating behavior. Once you stop asking for permission to exist and act, your wife will become quite irritable and increase the frequency and intensity of the shit tests sent your way.

The period of time which follows from your implementation of both masculine and Mach behavior is a critical one as you must remain committed to the program, regardless of how intense it gets.

She will submit to your lead so long as you show you’re a high value male who will elevate her status. If you are capable of properly implementing the Machiavellian strategy listed in the links below, you’ll be able to buy yourself time which will bridge the gap of when you’re faking it till you make it, to when you truly and genuinely make it.

These strategies can be used to improve every facet of your marriage.

You can manipulate your girl to doing whatever it is you need and if done properly you can lead both her and yourself to positions where you are the King and Queen which every other relationship is being compared.

The goal is to set the standard, so do what you must to set the standard from which all others men and marriages are measured.

Where can you learn more?

I will be writing more posts on the subject, but before I do I’ll provide you with links to where I learned a majority of my information. I’ve read all of the work on their sites, but these few are directly related to the discussion at hand.

This is a topic which I have been waiting to write about for several months as I wasn’t sure how to discuss the topic in relation to marriage. Expect more posts on not only the Machiavellian aspect to strategy in life, but the entire spectrum of the Dark Triad man.

The Triad has a place in marriage and if yielded properly, it can lead to the ultimate experience that can be had with a single woman to the grave.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter Drew

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  • santagrandpa says:

    no offense dude but the prince was a satire and machiavelli wrote it to highlight how stupid the philosophy was

    • hunterdrew says:

      What brought you to this conclusion?

      • PillboBaggins says:

        Machiavelli wrote it as a “treatise” but since he was surrounded by these people there was likely the intention to parody them at times. It reads on the surface like it’s for someone who wants to be a monarch such as a prince or king but emphasises the benefits of a free republic under all that. It’s full of paradoxical advice and it makes sense given Machiavelli was a staunch republican. He didn’t write a handbook for monarchs-to-be or those wanting to work their way through the ranks and get close to powerful people or put themselves in power.

      • santagrandpa says:

        Satire is a strong word but

        As backstory, you need to be made aware that Machiavelli spent his entire life as an outspoken critic of what would later become Machiavellism and was actually exiled for his staunch opposition to rulers that used these methods.

        There are several aspects of the book and pieces of advice that were intentionally crafted to bring about the demise of Medici, the ruling family that commissioned the work.

        The subversion starts with Machiavelli’s choice of Cesare Borgia as the focus. The first thing anyone should know about the Medici and the Borgia is that they have one of the longest and bloodiest family feuds in classical history–and they’re both corrupt assholes. Choosing a Borgia as the model for a book written for the Medici is like writing a book about about how great Hitler is and how terrible Stalin is–on Stalin’s commission. It’s tremendously offensive, and it only gets funnier from there.

        Think about the advice given in a lot of The Prince. As prince, you should arm the people–so that they can just shoot you. You should live in the cities you conquer–so that they can invade your home and kill you. You should gain your allies through leverage and deceit–so that they are easy to sway away from you. Every single piece of advice in the entire book is carefully crafted to mislead the Medici into following the advice and getting their shit kicked in.

        That being said, I disagree with the interpretation that the work is entirely subversive. I think he has a lot of valuable insight. I think it was a mixed bag. Even though he hated the Medici and how they did business, he was also desperate to get back into government legitimately so that he could look after his beloved Florence–even under Medici rule if need be. He wasn’t so obsessed with his way of thinking that he wasn’t wiling to be part of the Medici government, so he tried his hardest to reign himself in and give them what they wanted, but he just couldn’t resist adding in a few jabs at them.

      • santagrandpa says:

        that being said, if it works for you, it doesn’t matter if it’s a satire. Political criticism is one of the best places to get political ideas. Look at how easy it would be to model a government after 1984! Orwell’s point was to warn of a terrible future, but he also ended up creating an instruction manual as well. If the Prince works for you, then it’s a tremendously unfortunate accident for Machiavelli.

  • santagrandpa says:

    You should really read up on Italy during this era. If you’re interested, I’ll put together a reading list.

    If you’re bored and want to experience the story as a narrative, you could also pick up Assassin’s Creed 2 and its expansions, which are about 70% accurate. I mean obviously it’s a video game about killing people and the bad guys are aliens but the game takes place during the medici/borgia rivalry and it’s the central point of the plot. And the historical elements, at least, have surprising accuracy depending on historical interpretation.

    • santagrandpa says:

      in terms of Machiavelli’s circle, the biggest inaccuracies in the game if you do pick it up are the level of organization of the resistance and his level of involvement in it. The game paints Machiavelli as one of the main characters’ advisors and a willing participant in the rebellion, but Machiavelli would never knowingly aid the resistance because it was too risky and he wanted to affect change from the inside.

      He did eventually get arrested anyway, but that was because he was on a list of POTENTIAL candidates to join the rebellion. Take no chances, right?

  • norske says:

    This is perfect, a comprehensive list of reading material to get a grasp of the subject. I look forward to future articles on this, perhaps examples or guidelines to start implementing some of these principles would be great. I have been reading your site for awhile, fantastic material, thanks and keep it going.

  • […] The Family Alpha’s “Macchiavelli For The Married Man” […]

  • […] I’m not telling you to do a fucking thing with her as that requires control, a clear mind, and Machiavellian perception which you are unable to master while your mind is a […]

  • camera wifi says:

    Your style is so unique compared to other people I’ve read
    stuff from. Thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I
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  • Woman With a Cause says:

    You’re a real piece of work. Manipulation and domination of your wife does not equal love. Not only do you exhibit Machiavellianism, you also wreak of narcissism. I’m so grateful that you’ve exposed yourself and your methods and your view of the world. It truly helps me to understand the man in my life. Now it will be so much easier to leave this sick relationship. Many thanks. Keep up the blogging. It’s very educational! I’ll be sure to send more women to your site!

    • TheFamilyAlpha says:

      Every person

      Every day

      Is manipulating those around them.

      You may feel as though your personal relationship somehow applies to all, but that’s a discussion for another day.

      This post clearly states, that it should be applied in a manner which benefits that specific unique relationship.

      Easy example, my wife is off Facebook & is much happier because of it. I made that happen.

      Feel free to send women to my site, they may learn a thing or two about their husband.

  • Dumbass says:

    Abuse at its finest.

    • TheFamilyAlpha says:

      If you said this, from an authentically honest position, then you are one of the most sheltered and spoiled individuals I’ve ever come across.

      If this is the finest, the pinnacle of abuse, then you are not prepared for the real world and I pray to whatever god you believe in that your bubble never pops.

  • […] the words her behavior tells you, learn to speak the language of female action. I’m looking at all those guys who have dead bedrooms and are posting about how it has been […]

  • Livie says:

    This is one of the most disgusting posts I’ve ever read about mental and emotional abusive behavior.

    • TheFamilyAlpha says:

      Yet my wife smiles ear to ear every day and when we wake up in the morning after a fantastic night together she tells me she wishes we could stay in this moment forever.

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