Man, The Mature Child
There is an adage that women are ‘The Most Responsible Teenager In The House‘ and if you follow that link to the No-Maam blog you can find all of the research and evidence supporting that general truth.
Modern day men find themselves in a hell of a predicament.
They’re told to treat women as their absolute equals while at the same time when doing exactly that they see that there is not an equality in performance and some tasks should not be delegated to their women.
Taking it a step further men are realizing that women are not only physiologically different than men, but they’re also mentally wired differently as well.
Men and women are equivalent in their worth, but they are not equal in their being.
We now have men expecting women to behave and think the way men do and they can’t.
So, to make things “balanced” men start to act as women would, thinking maybe that is how equality is to brought about and it is here that we are seeing the dire consequences of repressed masculinity.
- Men die by suicide 3.53x more often than women.
- On average, there are 123 suicides per day.
- White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2016.
This is what brings me to my point that men need to remain the most mature child. In my piece Marriage, a Game of Frames I touch on the fact that the consciousness of commitment can only be held by one of the two parties and it should be that of the male. Women are desired to be followers, they are designed to desire and commit to men whom they feel will protect, satisfy, and advance their standing.
When men are following the Feminine Imperative, it forces them out of their natural operating mode, one which allows them to freely express their youthfulness and boyish charm. The “brow beaten man” has no joy, he has forgotten how to enjoy the ride of life.
Very few, if any women out there have the ability to be both intensely driven to their mission as well as taking a chill whatever approach to life, refusing to take the trivial things seriously even though societal pressures say that it is a must.
We’ve all heard it
- Real men settle down and have families
- Older men shouldn’t expect to maintain a wild sex life
- Family men should drive fuel efficient safe vehicles and try to avoid breaking a bone or doing anything which could cause bodily harm
- All men should govern their thirst for glory, adventure, and experience
Completely disregard the absurdity of society and read on.
Man should be a free spirit who balances his absolutely seriousness nature and driven attitude with his desire to tease women and have a good time.
Every man I know who is living an authentic life, free from the rules society has built to enslave him is having a blast. You can look at the various personalities on Twitter from all age groups.
Rollo Tomassi: 50 year old married father who loves to shred it on his snowmobiles every chance he gets. You’ve got 30 year old men looking to play it safe and “be responsible” while guys like Rollo are getting their heart rate up, driving up steep slopes, and just getting after life. Age is but a number and while Rollo is more experienced due to the time he’s had to learn, he still has that “boyish” charm and desire for adventure.
Goldmund Unleashed: Dude is called the Red Pill Indiana Jones for good reason (he even has the whip). People have tried to stomp his fire out for years and he just smiles and completely disregards, instead choosing to go out and live life on his terms alone. The no fucks to give attitude comes from the understanding that there’s no point to “fall in line” for the sake of making others more comfortable with their decision to allow their thirst for adventure and fun to die out.
There are countless others but these were the first two to pop into my head because they represent exactly what it is I’m talking about.
Being a man doesn’t mean that you’ve got to become this stoic, reserved, play it safe type guy. You need to let loose and in doing so you’ll lead your family to doing the same.
You cannot expect any woman in your life to give you permission to express this authentic nature which exists inside of you, you’ve got to choose to stop being such a damn “responsible adult” and instead choose to release that inner more mature child.
I’m currently 31 years old and I am still having the time of my life and to be completely honest, I don’t think that will ever change.
Jumping off roof tops, playing in the mud/rain, dancing with my girls in the middle of nowhere, running around coaching my son’s sports teams, etc. these are a part of the childhood energy that boys have and men need to harness.
It doesn’t excuse you to act like an immature boy but rather how to keep things lighthearted and joyful, like a mature child would.
You see men everywhere taking things as serious as they can and then you see the beaten look on their girls face or disappointment in their children’s eyes.
If we’ve accepted that women are the most responsible teenager and that is the role they fill and their operating default mentally then we must too accept that a part of the natural expression of masculine nature comes from the lighthearted, no fucks to give attitude that can only be displayed when you let that innocent joy from your youth continue to shine through.
When you, the leader of your family and of your self choose to embrace that aspect of your nature, you give others observing you to do the same. Before you know it, you won’t be the only one doing back-flips off diving boards, running around with your kids, and just embracing the moments you have to continue to seize adventure.
Acta Non Verba,
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