This is going to be a less theoretical and more directly applicable type piece.
My piece on 10 Ways to keep your wife on her toes helped a lot of guys out so I figured this list would be beneficial as well. I was asked a while back what I did to show my lady that I was “the man“. I responded with a quick list of things I normally do without really thinking of it, but, when asked to analyze how my wife knows she has a masculine dude, these are the things that popped into my mind. This is by no means all inclusive, as I don’t write things down when I do them, but it’s a start.
Before getting to the list, you need to keep a few things in mind.
First, this is my list. Some of these things may sound retarded and counterproductive, I ensure you I only employ the tactics I know will work or if I am teasing my wife I don’t care if they work or not, I will use them just to let her know, I’m going to do me, I’m not a guy she can mold and contain, I’m free and awesome.
Second, these things are aimed towards my wife. I highly recommend you take a few things from this list that you haven’t done and see what kind of response you get. Your wife may hate when you grab her neck, mine loves it. You won’t know until you try it.
Third, try more than once. Maybe slapping your girl’s ass hard doesn’t work the first time. So, the second time, try tapping it, or lifting it from the bottom of her butt cheek.
Try the same thing, differently. You’ve got to do it your way as you aren’t me so cater the approach you take to your woman. Your mileage may vary, some of these will be a direct hit, others will fail miserably, who cares? Have fun with it and keep evolving as a man.
I grab my woman and spin her around in public places, at home, family functions, wherever.
Who cares who sees it? Have fun life sucks if you follow the weak path that has been laid before you, forge your own.
My List of Masculine Moves
- I will put my arm around her shoulders.
- In front of a party I will yell out to my wife for whatever:
- I tell her No when that is how I feel and Yes when that is how I feel. I don’t placate my response to her emotion.
- I never change who I am or what I feel to avoid confrontation.
- I will order for her if I know what she wants or if I know there is something I want her to try.
- I will order her drinks whether she is at the table or in the bathroom, mixing it up with a martini, cocktail, whatever. I try to keep it stylish and cater it to what she likes.
- I fix shit that is broken
- I train her during PT
- I will hold her hand anytime anywhere. Other couples are separating, I try to keep it fresh and romantic like when we were teenagers. I see couples sit across the table from us, feet apart while when we sit together in a booth or table, we are right near one another, holding inner thighs, hands, and just fooling around and enjoying each other.
- I break out into ballroom dance in the middle of anywhere, spinning her around. Whether it is the mall, the park, a party, middle of the street, wherever.
- I keep eye contact with her and those around me
- I refuse to cater my voice or actions to those around me
- I make my reality everyone’s In my world it’s ok for boys to wrestle, girls to do girl things, men to fight then make up, and since I believe I can do anything, others believe I can do anything. I’ve had others wives tell their husbands (actual quote), you can’t Jump off the roof, do you think you’re Hunter?
- I drive when I know the weather sucks or there will be traffic, I drive 95% of the time anywhere anyways.
- I plan out vacations with her as well as surprising her from time to time
- I try to do something out of the blue once a week, something as small as planning a hike for us, to something as large as surprising her with a vacation.
- I keep her on her toes by remaining unpredictable and always improving
- I don’t play “yes man” to anyone. (If you have seen the movie Daddy’s Home with Ferrell and Wahlburg Ferrell cannot say no to anyone, even his wife’s ex. Everything is yes and I don’t do that. I don’t break my back for everyone, only those truly in need and even then, only if I view them to be worthy.)
- I listen to her and change my decision if she brings solid points to the table
- I treat her like a woman, I don’t expect her to think or act like a man.
- I ensure she knows I recognize the little things she does. Not by buying flowers, but by taking the kids to the playground and telling her to go get her nails done or by setting up a wine & paint night with her mom then telling her I’ve got the kids for the night.
- I don’t hold the resentment that so many men let fester (that is weak; Get over your relationship PTSD)
- I educate her. I’ve gotten her into stoicism as well as getting her to create checklists that show the goals she has and the steps she is taking to achieve the rest of them.
- I care about her physical, mental, and spiritual well being. We recently started Jordan Peterson’s Self Authoring together, great bonding experience.
- I can cook and will cook if needed, though she has made it clear she views the kitchen to be her domain.
- I set goals and complete them
- I keep my word and promises
- I ensure I am setting the bar from which she will measure other men and that I am continually raising that bar
- I tease her, I once swapped one of her incense sticks with a 4th of July sparkler, the fucking house looked like a bomb went off.
- I improve myself and expect her to do the same. I am running this blog as well as The Fraternity of Excellence and she is getting her Real Estate License soon.
- I dress well and give a shit about my appearance
- I look good naked
- I let her remain feminine, not expecting her to change the oil or mow the lawn, she decorates and cleans the house and that is cool with me.
- I teach my son how to be a man and treat my daughter like a little lady
- I protect the weak and stand up for what is right and not what is popular
- I build my reputation and refuse to reward failure
- When I hold her hand or arm, I am always on the side of the road or other people
- I do not view her as an anchor; she is fuel for my improvement and she feels that.
- I am dominant and not domineering, which means I am loved, feared, and respected all at once. It means owning every action, even if that action is picking flowers for your daughter. Domineering is getting others to listen out of fear vice respect.
- I hold the world in my frame; your personal frame is not the same as building the frame of a house. You are reconstructing your entire reality, you are setting your own standard. For Example: In my frame weakness is not expected nor is it accepted from those around me. Wild & romantic sex daily is normal & Dads are not expected to be weak or fat, they are fit leaders. When you are around me, you are in my frame and I hold you to my standard and treat you accordingly.
Now go forth and create your own list. This is mine, you may think every point is ridiculous, if you take nothing from this, you’re probably just being a dick. Take some examples, try them out, and let me know. I want some fresh ideas as much as you.
Acta Non Verba,
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