I’ll Pass: Why I No Longer Drink Alcohol

I made the decision today that I am no longer drinking booze.

  • I did not get into a drunk fight.
  • I did not get a DUI
  • I did not embarrass myself in public

Nothing major happened at all, except that I realized I am incapable of only having one.

I’m a very highly functioning alcoholic.

I drink almost daily, I have for years now and sometimes it’s until I black out or pass out on the couch watching a show with the wife.

These things are embarrassing to admit, but fuck it I have said from the beginning that The Family Alpha is about authenticity.

I’ve built this site, created a 16k+ Twitter account, coached my son’s Little League baseball team to winning a Championship, run the Fraternity of Excellence with Craig, spoken at Conventions, all of what I’ve done, I’ve done as an alcoholic.

This video was recorded the morning after a night where I blacked out:

Because I worked so hard, I partied harder and that’s where the problem arose, I didn’t have any drunken mistakes to serve as my wake-up call.

Did I do stupid things drunk?

Of course, but nothing of major concern.

It wasn’t until today, while nursing a hangover, that I realized I did not have power over alcohol, it had power over me and that’s a problem.

I’m sharing this with you all because I want the accountability.

Also because I firmly believe that both failures and successes should be shared. We all have our demons, we all have parts of the “self” which need work, for me it was recognizing that alcohol was an empty promise and something I personally do not have control over.

Moderation is not an option, I’m an all in or all out kind of guy with everything I do.

When it comes to alcohol, I’ve decided I’m out.

The instances where I do choose to consume alcohol (I know, this contradicts the above statement, hear me out) will be so far and few between I may as well be an entirely sober individual.

A glass of champagne at a wedding or the rare party where it’s balls to the wall, usually with the guy I coach baseball with – that’s it for me.

You’ll never see me drinking at a 21 Convention, TFA/FoE event, or any social situations in my home life.

I’ll be 98% sober for the rest of my life, booze aren’t worth it.

I’m tired of being tired, it’s time for a change.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter Drew

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  • tanerlorn says:

    Wow, good luck, take it one day at a time. It won’t be easy, but I wouldn’t bet against you.

  • Talk about synchronicity… I unconsciously lost a desire to drink last week and yesterday a craving popped up and I said to myself, “fuck I’ve gone a week might as well keep going.”

    I got your back, fam

  • Luke says:

    That’s great man. My story is very similar. I’m 30, and stopped drinking 12 months ago. It has been one of the best decisions of my life and I guarantee it will be for you too. I couldn’t have done it without reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. Go read it! Thanks for your great writing 👍

  • As if my respect for you could get any greater. Glad you’re doing this.

  • colin says:

    Fuckinell mate (as we say in England). Did MOM, admire you, didn’t know you were boozing. I’m not a family man but respect you. Didn’t realise you booze, I do, cos it rolls with my single lifestyle, yet I know it’s not good. This is a proper dichotomy.

  • bstew5595 says:

    Your email came at a precarious time. I just received a DUI Saturday (0.08) and that was a huge wake up call. Luckily it was in the early am, nobody was around that I could have hurt, and my vehicle is intact. However.. now my EMT license is a waste. Luckily it only used a small part of my GI Bill. For the near future I will completely avoid any alcohol too because I too, cannot only have one. I have been a functioning alcoholic for almost 3 years since I got out of the USMC and have aced college fairly easily. But now it’s time to get our shit together.

  • Rudd says:

    I live in Prague, Czech Republic which has the biggest beer consumption in the world per capita, and some of the tastiest brews, so Im certainly not going to give up on this pleasure. But I dont have any issues with it. I would love to however stop smoking all together as I do find it has more control over me than I have over it. That so far has been a losing battle.

    Good luck with it, youre a warrior (and a Hunter) Im sure you will find the strength and courage to get through it. Have lots of sex with wifey instead when you get the urge for a drink, redirect that energy need.

  • Brent W Versendaal says:

    Thanks for posting this, Drew. It’s helpful to see this side of one of the manosphere leaders. When you guys are regularly posting valuable content for us it can seem like you’re infallible – almost like someone’s Facebook, highlight reel. Admitting some weakness makes you human again, and thus more relatable.

  • SteveP_from_DoD says:

    Moderation is not an option, I’m an all in or all out kind of guy with everything I do.

    Great insight there. Removing a behavior that removes options – that takes the first two of Donovan’s tactical virtues; you are closing in on the third and fourth in that facet of your life.


  • James L says:

    Good luck. I made the decision to quit weed years ago because it became my crutch to happiness all I ever thought to get me through the week was I could get baked on a couch. It was hard and I took each day at a time. Happy to sayou I haven’the touched the stuff five years in September.

  • Mike says:

    Hi Hunter,

    I’m a big fan of your work. I discovered your site via BPP and MRP when things went shit in my marriage about a year ago. Your blog really helped me get through some dark moments in the early days of my MRP journey and helped me understand a lot of things about myself and masculinity.

    As such, I have a lot of admiration for you. I honestly would never have imagined that you were a functional alcoholic. Not tryong to kiss your ass here, but the fact that you have made this public only increases my admiration.

    Having been a functioning alcoholic myself, I think it’s really important that men openly talk about these things. I used to drink daily for a period of over ten years – often blacking out / passing out at night time. I continued to have a career, relationships etc, so I didn’t feel like my drinking was doing much harm. But I eventually grew tired of it – the blackouts, the hangovers, the lack of energy – and quit drinking for over a year. It was also just before the time my first chilkd was born and I didn’t want to be a drunken father with a new baby in the house.

    After my second kid was born, I began to drink “socially” again, then started having a “couple of beers” on weekend nights. I could handle it, I told myself. But like yourself – I was incapable of having “just one”. One would become two, two, three, three became four and so on.

    So I ended up, years later being a “weekend alcoholic”.

    In September 2017, I had a wake up call. I went to the pub to meet a friend for “a drink”. I don’t know how many drinks I had that night. I don’t remember anything after the first 5 beers. But I remember waking up at 5am the next morning, in the driveway of my house, in my car, thinking “what the fuck?”.

    I couldn’t allow this shit to keep happening – I could end up killing someone, so I quit for good.

    Haven’t had a drink for a year now. I’ll admit – at times it’s been hard but overall it’s been amazing… no more hangovers, no more blackouts, no more feelings of waking up wondering what the fuck I did the night before. The hardest part I found was at the start – social events where everyone is drinking. So, I switched out beers for non-alcoholic beer – partly because I still like the taste of beer and partly because it makes me feel more comfortable to have a beer in my hand when everyone else is drinking. Funnily enough, it makes others feel more at ease too.

    Best of luck with the life change , man and keep up the brilliant work,


  • It was killing me quick. It is better to shy away instead of consuming in large amounts.

    • Craig James says:

      Most men continue to kill themselves and never take corrective action. Acting on your convictions is the mark of a man.

  • lesliebakes says:

    Good luck. Im 3 months alcohol free.

  • […] get drunk, masturbate to porn, consume toxic food, wrap up their identities with cheering on strangers […]

  • Ritesh Pathak says:

    Something very interesting to read…i was literally shocked…

  • Yellowcake says:

    Nice work. I did the same a little over 9 years ago. Nothing major happened, was a good and fun drinker, but wasn’t doing me any favors. Also, lead me to having the courage to get a divorce:)

  • […] August 28th 2017 I wrote a piece called, “I’ll Pass: Why I No Longer Drink Alcohol“. […]

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