The Pride

Take Pride in You

Take Pride in You

 

Gentlemen, once you’ve  recognized the need to destroy The Void in your heart and eradicate the The Shame from your mind by reaching out to your brethren you can then experience something which has eluded your grasp for too long, a sense of pride.

Masculinity has been under attack for so long that most men now default to not taking pride in any attribute which may bring into question their support of the feminine imperative.

I’m here to tell you – Fuck. That.

As you go through the process of reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll eventually find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with the choice of vocalizing your masculine identity or continuing on with the facade (remaining a Clown).

Brothers, I’m telling you now, after you’ve face down those dark clouds and chose to stop repressing your genuine self, you deserve to take pride in the man you’ve created. 

Choosing the comfort of the lie is so easy; it’s so fucking easy to remain comfortable and to sit there and eat what you want, never get sore, and avoid all the discomfort out there in the world; it’s so damn easy. Yet, for whatever reason, you chose to find the comfort in the discomfort of reality. You’ve chosen to express your masculine nature when everyone around you wanted you to do the opposite. You chose to invest in you and live a life as the ‘real’ you vice the scripted you.

Take pride in that brother, you deserve it.

The whole world has told you the opposite. Our society has tried to snuff out that masculine fire since you were born and at some point maybe they didbut like the Phoenix, you chose to rise from the ashes, burning hotter than ever.

You’ve been told not to be a presence, but rather to make yourself meek and unimposing. You’ve been told to refrain from being aggressive, competitive, and lustful in any way. Women have told you to share feelings, your mother has told you to be a nice boy, and teachers have told you to sit still and your limitless energy is something you need to ‘get control over’.

This went on for years and for years you learned to default your decisions and behaviors to that of a man who fit the Mold and didn’t make waves, until now.

When you face that inevitable moment where you decide weak or strong, meek or masculine remember all of the days, weeks, and years where you chose the former and look where it’s gotten you.

You’ve gone long enough beating back your true nature, you’ve repressed your genuine self long enough. For possibly the first time in your life you now have someone telling you, take pride in being a man.

Own every aspect of that newfound sense of self and let the haters watch the show you’re about to put on. While you live, they’ll comment from the sideline. Before you know it you’ll have yourself in the arena and you’ll be laughing at the man in the stands saying the day is hot.

Embrace you and when the time comes, show the true you. Tell people, “No.” when that’s the answer. Stop trying to alleviate your decision or soften the blow by proving justifiers, tell someone No and then go about your business. Own every aspect of your masculinity take pride in:

  • Your sexuality. It’s OK to want sex, take pride in that lustful fire burning in your loins.
  • Your competitive & aggressive nature. You should want to win. I’ve gotten into physical fights over games of checkers and chess – fuck it, be in it to win it.
  • Your romantic nature. Men live hard, they also love hard and have very passionate feelings towards whatever they find of value. I lose sleep some nights because I can’t stop thinking of the men who fucking hate themselves and their lives. My wife asks why I’m not in bed and I tell her my mind is full. Sometimes I’ll share a little and ask her if she knows how I can get these men to just ‘wake up’ and recognize that they are their problem and they are also their solution. She tells me I worry too much about things I can’t control, but also that she is glad her man has a fire in his heart when so many are content and numb to feeling anything or caring enough to do anything about the things that do bother them.
  • Your desire to lead. My relationship isn’t 50/50 and I’ve said that to others, it blows their fucking mind when I say that I lead my marriage. Of course they turn to my girl and challenge my statement through her and she laughs saying she loves being able to enjoy the ride while I handle business. Of course there are areas where we come together, she is a responsible woman and she has on more than 10 occasions made the better decision than what I was going to make. I listen and if she’s right I adjust to her plan, still leading the venture. When we are dead-locked I make the final call, think of it as a 51-49 relationship. Embrace your own desire, you’re a man step up and lead, stop waiting for someone to take care of you.
  • Your sense of ‘Self’. You don’t need your wife’s permission to grow a beard or mustache. At the same time, you need to make sure you aren’t just going with the easiest ‘self’ you can create. Don’t walk around saying, “My real self plays video games all day, fuck what society and women want me to do.” You have a role to fill, there’s a reason I call this blog The Family Alpha. You’re the leader of your clan, you’ve got to set the standard from which all others will be measured. Be the true you, not the lazy you and at the same time, be the you that you want to be. I have a beard, my wife told me she wasn’t a ‘beard girl’, I grew my beard anyway and guess what, now she’s definitely a ‘beard girl’. Watch what women do, never follow what they say.

The world doesn’t have to love you, you have to love you. It’s time to stop hiding from yourself and way past due for you to stop hiding yourself from the world. Own your shit, take pride in who you are and what it is you plan to do in this life. Pursue your goals and live un-apologetically. There’s no reason to be sorry for being a man, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your masculinity.

The negative feelings you have towards behaving like a man are due entirely to socially constructed ‘rules’ which are set up to keep you contained. Break free brothers and let the whole fucking world know that you are here to win.

Own it.

Acta Non Verba,

-Hunter
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Xmas & NYE

Give the gift you want to give, not the one they want to get.

Give the gift you want to give, not the one they want to get.

This is my second Christmas writing on TFA. (Here’s a link to last year’s Christmas post) I’m a huge fan of the Christmas season. I know it’s commercialized as shit, but there’s something about the music, the cold, the snow, the food, the parties. Especially Christmas day, I love seeing my kids eyes light up when they see the presents, my wife getting mad I spent too much money on her but under that scowl is her blushing and a beautiful smile. I love how people come together and if even for a brief moment, life is the way it should be without distraction from this or that. We give each other our undivided attention and listen instead of waiting for our turn to talk. I aim to make every day like Christmas day (sans presents) but Christmas Eve/Day are truly an amazing time and I hope everyone is able to feel this way in their own heart and mind.

Surviving Christmas

The holiday season is upon us yet again and a lot of family men will be attending Christmas & New Year’s Eve parties in the very near future. Managing kids, time between families, and the emotional state of your own family can become quite stressful, for those who don’t have a plan.

I have found the combination of two quotes to be the perfect blend of what goes on when preparing for the ‘joy’ of taking your wife and kids from place to place with hundreds of variables requiring your attention.

1)      Failing to prepare means you’re preparing to fail

2)      With the spontaneity of the world, planning is the most destructive thing you can do.

These two quotes are at complete odds with one another, yet they perfectly capture what it’s like to lead a family during the holidays, on vacations, when attending events such as a weddings, birthday parties, etc.

As the Family Alpha, you’ve got to have a plan while being aware that your plan is completely fluid & must be adapted to the moment to moment situations & scenarios you’ll face.

There’s going to be people who’ve drank too much, people who pry and ask too many questions, people who give the kids candy when you told them not to, kids who will do what kids do yet it’s amplified in your mind as you’re trying to keep everyone on their best behavior, etc.

Can you do me a favor?

Breathe – deeper.

Life’s good man, you’ve got your wife and your kids, it’s Christmas Eve, it’s go time. Have fun with it, relax and fucking immerse in the moments.

Your family needs you to lead them through the Holiday chaos.

Your family needs you to lead them through the Holiday chaos.

Start by getting everyone on the same page. Hey guys, we’re going to go to X, then to Y, then to Z. Do you know what that requires? Get a response from them, ensure they’re aware of what is going to be required. They aren’t fully going to follow through, but at least they’ll have some sort of framework built in their head as to what’s expected, much better than winging it.

Also, if your wife is onboard with your plan, let her know what obtacles you expect to face.

  • Drunk Uncle
  • Gifts
  • Timelines
  • etc…

Most importantly, remember to let your wife know what your end goal is.

Example: I’m going to have dinner with family. I’ve made it clear that before the dinner, I don’t give a fuck what we do or where we go so long as we have what we’re bringing food-wise ready and have everyone dressed on time.

My end goal is to be home at a reasonable time (Between 7-8) as my brother in law is coming over and it is a tradition that him and I (my wife’s brother) set the gifts out, drink, and just hang out until we pass out or the sun comes up. My wife hangs with us but she’s always the first one to knock out and I’ll either wrap her up with a blanket on the couch and party around her or tuck her into bed.

Letting her know my end goal makes my wife aware that we are not playing games, drinking too much, or doing anything after the dinner. This will help me as she will start gathering the kids while I start the good byes, we’ll be out the door on time together, no issues.

Tell your wife what it is you want from the party you’re going to. Do you want to mingle with everyone or just do touch and goes then get out?

You can’t get upset at your wife for talking too much, ignoring you, or not following your game plan if you haven’t made your vision the family’s vision.

If you are dividing time between families, recognize that you guys may not have the same desires, try to accommodate everyone as best you can, but if you wife wants to have dinner at X and you want to have dinner at Y – either split up and go where you want or don’t go to either and find a third option. Neither of you can force the other to go anywhere, if you do they’ll just pout and ruin your time at the place you wanted to go, destroying the entire point of being there.

It’s ok to do things without one another, in my family we wouldn’t as we stick together but for some, just do your own thing. My wife and I are touch and go people, we visit, say hello, small talk, and then roll out.

Christmas Day is easier, people make it hard.

Don’t write any covert contracts, No, the gift you got your wife is not going to inspire some sudden transformation & submission, it’s a gift and I hope you gave it to her because you wanted to give it to her and not because you wanted something in return as that’s fucking weak.

Don’t expect some amazing gift either, just enjoy the time and company with your family.

Surviving New Year’s

Make 2017 the year you discover and display the genuine self you keep inside.

Make 2017 the year you discover and display the genuine self you keep inside.

1. The best way to make it to midnight on New Year’s is to get some quality rest on the nights leading up to it.

The way I do this is to continue lifting during the whole Christmas excitement. You’ll want to play with your new things, you’ll be excited from all of the goings on, and you’ll be mentally feeding off the energy of the season. The best way to combat that, for me at least, is to physically drain myself to fucking true exhaustion. Deadlifts, Squats, Bench, etc. I fucking kill it, I go to bed because I physically have to. The quality of sleep I get is great.

The day of New Year’s Eve I don’t lift and I don’t eat many carbs as I don’t want to crash. It’s worked so far. Solid sleep the nights before arms me with the ability to go the distance the night of the ‘big show’.

2. Save the caffeine until right before you need it. Pounding coffee all day won’t give you energy to midnight, it will give you the shits. Have a cup of coffee an hour after dinner.

I’ve seen guys take RedBulls to the face, Monsters, etc. They always end up wrecked with an upset stomach, acting like an annoying hyperactive spaz, or if they’ve been drinking doing stupid shit faster.

If you can, lay off the caffeine from the 26 to the 30th, then the night of the 31st have a cup of coffee, should do the trick.

3. Chill with the booze. How many ‘Countdowns’ have you missed because you were blacked out drunk or passed out?

Masculine men maintain control - Don't get sloppy.

Masculine men maintain control – Don’t get sloppy.

I turn 30 in February, so maybe I’m getting old. But, drinking isn’t as fucking cool as it used to be. I’ve missed a lot of shit because I was either blacked out and don’t remember or I fell asleep from drinking too much.

I still drink, but not like I used to because I realized, drunk does not equal fun. I used to think more booze meant more smiles, that’s not the case and to be honest, it’s not very masculine.

Masculine men know their limit and they don’t cross it as they don’t ever want to lose composure and come across as sloppy. That’s one of the worst things you can be, that sloppy guy who slurs, spills shit, has swings of emotions, etc.

Be a man, limit your intake and set a slow pace throughout the night. Make it to midnight as the man walking among boys. While the rest fall out, show that you can go the distance, be the one who is still able to kiss his girl into the New Year.

4. Kids. They need a parent to not forget they exist just because a party is going on.

My kids are 7 & 4, they’re going to be bouncing off the wall with the energy of the environment. What my wife and I have done is limit the desserts people funnel them (knock that shit off, food does not equal love) and ensure that they are drinking more water than juice throughout the night. Hydrated kids who aren’t filled with sugar and processed shit will pass out with relative ease.

Tuck them into somewhere quiet yet accessible so you can hear if they get up, if you’re at a party or hotel or wherever that isn’t home, waking up in a new place can be scary.

After the ball drops and you kiss your woman, go in and kiss your babies. You don’t have to wake them, but don’t forget about them. It’s just a digit on a calendar which changes, but there’s something special about knowing you started the year with a kiss. I’ve kissed my wife and kids into the New Year for as long as I can remember, give yourself that Polaroid.

5. Recognize you might be cranky the next day. People staying up past their bed time drinking, dancing, singing, etc. That is a great night, it’s not always a great morning.

Red men go to bed late & rise early, there's no rest for the Wicked.

Red men go to bed late & rise early, there’s no rest for the Wicked.

When you do your morning negative visualizations, remind yourself that you’re going to run into some overtired people and you too may be a little more irritable than usual. Just like when your wife is PMS’ing, you’ve got to cater your approach to everyone. There’s no need to start 2017 with everyone going after each other’s throats.

Be the leader of your family, keep everyone cool and at a 2 (3 tops). You see someone rising to level 10, shut it down with a reminder of how awesome the night was and divert their attention away from the annoyance.

Keep all of this in mind and you’ll start the New Year out right.

Happy New Year’s,
Hunter

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Negative Visualizations

When I was 5 years old my mother committed suicide. This left my father to raise me and my 3 year old twin brother/sister on his own. My dad was a Navy man; always in and out then deploying. He needed a caretaker so we went to live with my grandmother.

She was a strict woman who lived through the Great Depression. As I grew up she instilled discipline, a ‘never quit’ work ethic, and appreciation. It’s the appreciation aspect I’m writing about in this post, as losing my mother and not having a father around combined with the instruction from my Grandmother created a man who has learned to truly immerse in and appreciate each moment.

The Red Pill introduced me to Stoicism and Stoicism introduced me to Negative Visualizations. Negative Visualizations was a mental tool I naturally developed, but learning it had a name enables me to relay the message a little more clearly to others.

I start every morning by waking up and taking a moment to think on and inventory my life. I do this through performing negative visualizations immediately after waking up. I visualize that my wife and kids die on this day. I let the pain fully wash over me, I feel it in my heart, my mind, and my entire ‘self’. Then, I slowly bring myself back, I dial my mind in and remind myself that my wife is next to me, breathing softly, beautiful as ever. I remind myself that my kids are asleep in their beds, innocent, pure, and alive.

I get out of bed, do the morning routine, and before I leave I always tell my wife and kids that I love them, because I do and I’m aware of how lucky I am to still have them in my life. Kissing your child’s forehead means more when you know it could be the last time.

I appreciate each moment with them more because I’ve made myself feel the pain of losing their presence in my life.

Life is not guaranteed, yet people live as though they have all the time in the world.

In my post Intentional Discomfort I wrote about removing comforts from your life so you truly appreciate them. Warm water, your phone, your bed, etc.

It isn’t practical to ‘remove your wife and kids’ so you have to do it through a sort of ‘thought experiment’. Remove them in your mind, remove their smells, their smiles, their voices and laughs, all of them. Immerse in the void you create in your heart, soak in the abyss and feel the pain. Now, bring them back to life. 

Tell me that this doesn’t make you smile just a little bit more when you see them. Tell me that it doesn’t make you want to put the phone down and get on the floor with your kid and play.

We’re so caught up in the hustle of modern living that we are getting distracted from what matters most, the time we have with those we love.

This goes beyond family; I perform negative visualizations with every day life. I’ve visualized my wife cheating, I’ve visualized being doxxed, I’ve visualized getting fired, I’ve visualized crashing my Jeep, etc.

This prepares me for the moment when something does happen I’m not caught off guard, unable to cope or perform. I’ll have a rough game plan as to what I need to do because I’ve already played it out in my mind.

Don’t get it twisted, I don’t mope around all day thinking of terrible things that could happen. Just recognize that you should periodically immerse in a shitty scenario and ensure you’ve got the fortitude to not only handle it but rather come out on top.

I love my wife, if she were to cheat I’m ready for it and will survive.

I love my children to death, but if they were to die I’ll know I gave them everything and that I was in all of our moments together.

I’ll go to my deathbed without regret because I make sure I appreciate the moments I have with those I love. I Hang my Polaroids and I prepare myself mentally to react to the chaos that we call life.

The ancient Stoics had it right, if you’d like to read more on Stoicism here are my recommendations:

 Letters From a Stoic: Seneca

 Marcus Aurelius: Meditations

The Discourses of Epictetus

 The Enchiridion: Epictetus (Shortened version of Discourses)

 A Guide to the Good Life: William Braxton Irvine

 The Obstacle is the Way: Ryan Holiday

I’ve read all of these books and each has added to my ‘mental toolbox’. We need to remind ourselves that we need to be as equally strong in our mind as we are in our body.

Developing this mental strength requires training and negative visualizations are one such exercise which will lead to a stronger, more fortified masculine mind.

Hunter

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The Burden of Family

Nick Kelly recently released a Podcast [Listen Here].

In the Podcast he answers the question as to whether he’ll get married or into an LTR and have kids. He says(paraphrased), “no, not now – possibly not ever.” He then goes on to discuss how he puts work before all else and all of the married men & fathers he knows have lost their fire.

When I heard this I nodded in agreement as having a family does reduce a man’s output. I let the thought go and listened to the rest of the audio clip which conveniently ended right before I finished my commute from work.

I didn’t come back to this topic until I was laying down with both of my kids. I had intended to work on editing the TFA book, but both my son and daughter came up to me right before I was going to put them down for a nap (we had a late party to attend that night) and they asked if we could have a ‘family nap’(think Willy Wonka’s grandparents, everyone in the bed nappingbasically I’ll nap with them, one on each side – me in the middle.

My immediate instinct was to say “No” as I had edits to do, but I thought of all the other times where I’ve said No the past 2 weeks because I was studying for finals, knocking out assignments, writing posts, etc.

So I said, “Yes.”

While lying there I thought of Nick Kelly’s point on Work. I was also thinking of how there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be than laying on that bed with both of their little heads on my chest listening to them lightly snoring, in rhythm. I thought of how choosing to nap with them over editing was me placing the ‘work’ I had to do with them over the work I had to do on the book.

I caught myself thinking of this/that and intentionally forced myself to immerse in the now. Hearing their snores, their soft hair, the warmth from their little bodies, my mind was warmed by the comfort & joy that comes from knowing your kids still need you.

I won’t have these moments for much longer and that’s a sobering thought. My son is becoming a man, more and more independent with each passing day. Same with my daughter, I find her asking for help less and less with the passing months.

I chose this life; I purposely chose the grind of fatherhood knowing that by doing so, I’d become a less productive individual with regard to my own pursuits.

But that’s the point; their development, upbringing, and life experiences have become a part of my work.

This is an aspect of fatherhood & marriage that is lost on many men. They view their wife and kids as a burden, they think they would be better if only they were single.

This is a flawed mentality and it is where the FAMILY aspect of being a Family Alpha comes into play.

Nick Kelly can travel to anywhere at anytime he chooses. Illimitable Man can pump out a high workload of writing without having to worry about dedicating time to others. Some men view them with envy, wishing “if only I weren’t married with kids” as if their failure to perform has to do with their life status.

Married men and fathers, look upon your wife & kid(s) as fuel, not an anchor. Recognize that your role in life is different than the single guys out there. They can travel in a moments notice while you are raising the next generation of men and women who will raise the standard of masculinity and femininity in our society.

When you create a pathway to act as your son’s Rite of Passage you are doing your work as a masculine man. When you lead your wife to staying in shape, being a freak in the sheets, and allowing her to fill her feminine role you are doing your work as a man. Most of the work done by the Family Alpha’s out there is done in silence. We are the Silent Professionals of the Manosphere; the men who write on our blogs when the family has gone to sleep, in between activities with the kids, or while a wife is talking to us and seeking guidance.

We are the men who have to wake up earlier to get time alone and stay up later to get edits done. We make time to lift, read, and write while also leading a wife, educating our children, and ensuring the entire clan is truly living, getting the most of their days, and Hanging Polaroids.

We not only have to maintain our own standard but we must also maintain the standard of those whom we lead. Masculine men walk their path alone, stop looking at other men and comparing your life to their’s, because they aren’t looking over at you. Masculine men invest their time in improving themselves and putting in work, stop wasting time with the envy or playing the ‘if only‘ game. Single vs married vs parent with regards to masculinity is a fucking retarded comparison to make. Men aren’t more or less masculine because of their relationship status and whether they’ve reproduced or not. All that matters is the man alone, so stop looking for excuses as to why you aren’t performing as a masculine man should.

You’ve got work to do; married or a parent it makes no difference, you need to set the bar from which excellence will be measured. Take what you’ve got and make it the greatest it can be. Your wife and kid, they’re a part of your work as a man, so invest the time to lead them and don’t think for a second they are an acceptable excuse for your failure to perform; they’re a part of your performance.

Your wife is a reflection of your performance as a man, your Sons and Daughters are a reflection of your performance as a man. Your ‘self’ grows when you take on the responsibility of others (wife) or when you decide to create a life (Kids). They are now extensions of you and are equally important in regards to development and caring for as you would your ‘self’.

If you’re a FAMILY Alpha, then you need to view these extensions of self as motivation to push forward. You may not produce as much as you’d like, that’s fine as it shows you have hunger. Don’t let it get you down, instead let it be the fuel which causes you to rise to new heights. Family men are forced to be better with regards to time management. If you aren’t hitting your personal goal of productivity, take a look at how your normal day plays out and find the time sinks then remove them.

Sacrificing sleep may be necessary, just ensure you’re doing all of this for you and not because you feel you need to keep up with other guys. Do your thing and everything will be alright; never accept mediocrity, refuse to reward failure, and do not allow yourself to be come complacent. Periodically insert some Intentional Discomfort in your life and be objectively honest with yourself when you ask the question, “Am I really doing the best I can?”

Hunter

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Give your ‘self’ a gift.

Fix your 'self' & it will fix your entire family.

Fix your ‘self’ & it will fix your entire family.

This post is about giving something to your ‘self’ this holiday season. This something isn’t of material value; it goes way beyond a new Jeep, gun, or tool. What I want you to give yourself this holiday season is the Gift of Independence.

I want you to shift your perspective on life to the point where you know that if your wife were to cheat or file for divorce you’d still have a smile on your facing knowing that you are the fucking man.

There’s no better time than today for you to start pulling the training wheels you have in your life. For the ‘plugged in’ married man it’s their wife and marriage that are the two wheels which keep them balanced. These men feel their masculinity and position in society is derived from their relationship status, as if being married signifies they are real men. This is unacceptable.

Take a look at the masculine man, he’s riding his life free from support.

The man who has embraced his masculinity is the guy who has a mission and it’s not his wife. He’s the guy who has a wife that knows her man’s vision and she is aware that he does not need her. Have you ever noticed that the men who don’t need their woman are the men who have the most loyal women?

The reason for this should be clear, but for those just tuning in to the Manosphere women want a man who doesn’t need her to take care of him. Women will submit to a masculine man as she is his lover and she knows that he will elevate her status in society while he pursues his mission.

Men who need their women are men who treat their wife like their mommy. Women want a man who can ravish them then continue marching towards whatever goal they have set. They don’t want to have to raise a man-child. My wife and I have two kids together, the last thing she needs is a third body to raise. Because I keep her in the role of lover, our marriage is still enjoyable and filled with passion. If I were to be the doting fool that most men have become, she’d resent me and either find another man who could treat her like a woman or she’d lower her standards to becoming a bitter hag.

The Christmas season is upon us, give your entire family a gift by raising your personal standard as their leader.

The Christmas season is upon us, give your entire family a gift by raising your personal standard as their leader.

Men, you don’t need your woman taking care of you – in fact you don’t need your woman at all.

This is the gift you need to give yourself this year; it’s also a gift that will ‘keep on giving’. As you accept the reality that your wife could leave at any moment, you can then begin to embrace the confidence that you would be alright. Go through the thought experiment, create a negative visualization in your mind and feel everything that you’d feel if she were to leave. Realize that with her gone, you should still be entirely secure with your ‘self’.

Now dial yourself back in and realize that your woman is still in your life. Find joy in that, smile at her, and appreciate the time you guys have together.

The fact of reality is this, the less you show ‘love’ the way society has taught you to show love, the more your wife will love you.

TV, movies, music, etc the all are pushing the female imperative, they are telling you to entirely devote yourself to your woman, to always self-sacrifice for her, and to make her the top priority in your life.

Negative.

Clear your mind of the poison society has injected you with. Let your masculine light shine.

Clear your mind of the poison society has injected you with. Let your masculine light shine.

This is not the path of the masculine man. The masculine man has his mission and he marches towards it with fierce tenacity. He allows his wife to walk this path with him, but she is company on this journey and is free to depart whenever she chooses to do so.

You can develop this mindset by developing the irrational levels of self-confidence which comes from action:

  • You have to start lifting as it will develop your physical strength and mental discipline.
  • You have to start raising your personal standard of hygiene, grooming, and fashion. This will lead to an increase in IOIs from other women which will break the oneitis and build confidence that if your woman were to leave, she could be replaced.
  • You have to start building a life separate from your woman. Whether it be writing, building a car, going to an MMA gym, joining some sort of gun club – something; you have to develop a life outside of your wife so that if she were to leave you don’t lose everyone you know and every hobby you had ‘together’.
  • You have to read up on game, kino, the art of debate & discourse, and truly internalize the truth of reality which is provided to you by the manosphere. You can’t just ‘think’ you need to own this life and put yourself first but rather truly embody your masculine nature.

Once you take these actions you will begin to see that your woman will love you more and that you are more confident. Without the fear of losing your life if you lose your woman you will be more prone to taking bolder actions and further pursuing your mission in this life. You’ll find that by following my steps of creating a ‘self’ who does not need his woman but has rather chosen to have her in his life, you now further appreciate the moments you have with her.

Your entire quality of life will rise when you accept that you are in total control of this life. You’ll realize that the ‘training wheels’ which kept you safe, also kept you from steering off the road.

Remove the safety net and you’ll be able to take the more difficult path of masculine adventure. It’s the one less ventured and for men living a genuine life, it’s the only path.

Hunter

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Burn Your Ship

You must be fully dedicated to this process, how bad do you want it?

You must be fully dedicated to this process, how bad do you want it?

The most crucial aspect to reclaiming your masculine nature is committing to something with every fiber of your being. You have to want to improve and take responsibility for your life so bad that you’re willing to jump without knowing where you’ll land, you have to put yourself in a very vulnerable position where you’re either going to win or you’re going to get fucking wrecked.

This is the masculine way, this is how men commit to goals they are passionate about and what could you be more passionate about than saving yourself and taking control over the brief life you have on this planet?

It seems easy, yet can you remember the last time you did not back down to avoid confrontation? Many men can’t think of a time where they took an action or they took a stance, yet they left just a little bit of doubt or ‘self’ behind just in case they were wrong or needed to retreat. It’s a sad fact I’m not proud of, but I know men who have never stood their ground and committed & defended their stance or opinion on a matter – not once in their life have they planted their feet and refused to accept anything but victory.

Brothers, this is exactly what you must do when you make the decision to reclaim your masculine nature. You’ve got to go into that decision with everything you have, leaving nothing behind, no hesitation, doubt, or fear this decision is not one which can be made halfheartedly; you are in or you are out: all or nothing.

The guys who took the advice of the Manosphere and left saying it was bullshit are the guys who half assed their commitment to the act of becoming a man again. They can’t say the Manosphere is bullshit because what they did was not what the Manosphere told them to do. If you can’t commit to the program, then you never followed the program. It isn’t the fault of the masculine pipeline that you’re too weak or you’re too fucking afraid to let go of the system that has feminized you and kept you safe inside the mold it made for you..

The guys who don’t commit their entire ‘self’ to the transformation, they never make it. You have to be 100% ready to own your fucking life, if you give 80% it’s not enough. Leaving that 20% behind leaves 20% of you to fall back if times get rough. When you have an escape route, you’ll never commit 100% to the attack, you’ll never tap into that ‘do or die’ mindset and because of this, you’ll revert back to who you were.

This is it, you've committed & there's no turning back.

This is it, you’ve committed & there’s no turning back.

There is no retreat, there is no returning to who you once were. When you see the strings which control those around you, you can never unsee them. Understand that once you start the voyage to reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll never return to who you were, no matter how bad you want to. So choose to do something you haven’t done in years, something you’ve possibly never done in your fucking life – give every shred of who you are to the act of improving yourself, owning your life, and taking responsibility for where you are and what you have or have yet to achieve in this life.

It isn’t the fault of your mother, brother, wife, or friends. No, it’s your fault that you became weak, fat, and sensitive; if you want to make a change then you need to stop lashing out at those around you and recognize that you need to look inside and accept responsibility for all of it.

This is your fucking life, you are the only one who is with you for the entire ride. Now you need to dig fucking deep and find comfort in the discomfort of reality. When you calm the fuck down and you’re able to feel that fire growing inside I want you to turn inward, grab the spark of masculinity which is trying to break through and you fucking fan that flame until there is a god damn bon fire in your heart and soul – then you act.

You make one small act today, then another. Draw a boundary here, lead there, and challenge yourself over and over again. Sharpen your mind and as you progress your body will catch up. Make yourself hard, make yourself a leader, and in time you’ll make yourself a man again.

There is no going back, and this is why you must burn that fucking ship on those foreign shores. You will die here before you retreat home. You will win this battle against yourself or you will fucking die trying. If you quit or save that ship and use it to retreat, you’ll be left forever afloat in the abyss of what could have been – alone, depressed, resentful…

If you burn your ship on the shores of masculinity, you remove that disgraceful fate.

You have to stand your ground; you have to tell your wife and friends “No.” from time to time. When the whole world is telling you that they don’t like muscles and you should just have a little snack you’ve got to accept they are against your progress. They want you to do well, but never better than them. You’ve got to look at your wife and recognize she will never love you the way you love her.

You’ve got to set yourself up for success by removing the possibility of failure. There is no failure if you remain committed to who you are as a man. You marriage may fail, you may have to cut friends and family out of your life, and you may take a financial hit in the process, but none of that matters so long as you are pursuing your mission in this life.

I write, I write because if I don’t get these thoughts out of my head I will go mad. I need to release the pressure; I do it through this blog. When I don’t write & lift I feel anxious, irritable, frumpy, and unmotivated. That’s my thing. If I were to lose my wife, lose friends and family, and lose some net worth I would still write and lift. This is my mission and there’s no turning back from it.

You must find a reason to improve, a reason to embrace your masculine nature and place it above all else. It is this reason that you will return to time and again as the nights get cold and lonely. It is this reason that you get to the gym even though you’re sore. It’s this reason that helps you find the will to push forward when every other part of your body and mind are telling you to take a rest, to stay still…to stop.

For most men, this comes after the marriage has failed, they recognize right before divorce how much of a pussy they’ve been and now they’re going to do it different. They are going to live life on their terms because now they don’t have to answer to their wife.  What they miss and what I am trying to get you to understand is that you can take this action at any point in time. You’ve never needed your wife’s permission to live life as a masculine man.

You don’t need the permission of society, friends, or family to follow your mission in this life.

You are here to conquer, not to visit temporarily.

You are here to conquer, not to visit temporarily.

Make the decision to live life as a masculine male. Stop bottling up your desires and genuine nature, stop sitting on the fucking fence thinking, yeah, I’d love to have better sex but I don’t want to have to be mean to get it or yeah, I’d love to be a jacked guy but being fat is so much easier.

You fucking pussy, find your fucking balls and recognize that there will be times where you have to put yourself first and piss some people off and be UNcomfortable.

There will be times where you have to get up and go when all you want to do is sit or lay down.

There will be times where the truth of reality is so incredibly painful and disappointing and the comfort of the lie is such an easy choice…Brothers, you have to force yourself to continue to walk through the storm instead of finding shelter.

You must find comfort in that discomfort and you must do so with your full commitment. You are not only committing to being a masculine man but you’re also committing to never returning to the previous version of who you were.

Burn the ship, prepare to face your enemy and remember you have to win because there’s no other choice.

– Hunter

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Credible Sources?

How do you know who you can trust? You listen & then decide like a Man.

How do you know who you can trust? You listen & then decide like a Man.

There seems to be this notion on the manosphere that certain men in certain life situations are completely incapable of providing beneficial or constructive information.

I saw an engagement on Twitter between two men and it ended with one telling the other, “I’m not going to listen to your advice because you’re divorced”. Now, I’ll admit that divorced men have been the most ardent outspoken individuals against all things Family Alpha. It makes sense as these guys are divorced, they’ve experienced what happens when marriages fail and here I am talking about the heights men can reach while married. But I’ve never written a man off because he was divorced.

My message acts as a mirror that reflects their failed performance in their marriage and possibly in choosing the wrong woman to marry from the onset. Who wants to admit they fucked up? Who wants to admit that they could have had the type of relationship they desired if they had only gone into their marriage fully aware of their masculine self and in control of the frame of the relationship?

It sucks, but I get it.

The second largest group who challenge me on every point I make are the single guys who have been scorned by women. These guys are usually MGTOWS who are abstinent, which I think is completely fucking ridiculous as men who ‘Go their own way’ should embrace who they are as men and that means their sexual desire as well.

Fuck yeah, follow your passion/mission and pay no attention to women looking to get into a relationship. But god damn, continue to have NSA relationships. Men who completely cut women out of their life? I find that to be a huge red flag to the total development of the masculine self. It’s just another form of repressing their masculinity and we have enough white knights and feminists working against our expression of self, we don’t need men telling other men to hold it in too.

Both of these groups, while they are completely at odds with my message, have solid information and life experiences that everyone, including myself could benefit from.

Everyone we run into in this life acts as an example of what to do or what not to do. Every conversation and interaction is an opportunity to learn something about another as well as something about our masculine ‘selves’.

If you say that divorced men cannot provide any valuable information to you in your marriage just because theirs failed, you are a fucking pussy who is acting like a child. Don’t stomp your feet and say, “I’m not listening blah blah blah” it’s embarrassing for yourself as well as your girl.

She may tell you, ‘yeah fuck that guy what does he know his wife left him’ but on the inside, she knows you’re little temper tantrum just put you further into her frame.

The more men you cast away for not meeting your prerequisites of what qualifies one to provide advice will limit your sphere of information to where you only have those who agree with you talking; you’ll of created a group of yes men.

When you reach that point, the echo chamber acts as blinders preventing you from ever seeing reality. You’ll be stuck inside this little box you’ve created and that’s where you’ll stay until the fist of the real world cracks you across the jaw.

I’m a married man who does not promote marriage but rather helps those who are already married improve their standard of relationship with their ‘self’ and in turn this improves the relationship they have with their wife.

I could write a post on how men should lift to build their confidence and it would be met with conflict by some guys simply because I’m married. Not because of my information, but solely because I’m a married man and therefore I must be a cuck. This is an absurd notion and it’s going to cost guys some seriously important moments in their life where they could have, if they listened, learned some life lessons that would have enabled them to raise their own standard to new heights.

For example: I had a conversation with a wicked fat dude about nutrition. He was a registered dietitian who knew his shit. He advocated for Paleo style eating and could talk micro/macro bulk/cut for days – yet he was fat as shit. I asked him why he had so much extra weight if he knew how the body worked and how he could lose it. His answer was, ‘I get it, doesn’t mean I follow it’ that was good enough for me, I didn’t press the issue.

My point is, I learned a lot from that dude. If I had taken the stance that because he was fat whatever he said about nutrition would be a waste of my time I never would have had the beneficial discussion that I had with him – I never would have hung that Polaroid on my lifeline. We all need to stop shooting ourselves in the foot; give people the chance to prove their worth and if they’re fucking whack-jobs then move along. But don’t discredit them before they’ve opened their mouth.

I know divorced men and MGTOWS who’ve taught me all sorts of shit about embracing my masculinity and improving my marriage. I’m married with 2 kids, yet a MGTOW helped me with some parenting advice I’d asked for. I had a divorced guy explain how his marriage failed and steps I should take to avoid those pitfalls.

I could have easily written them off as failures and not the type of people I should be listening to. But I didn’t and because of that I had some valuable insight that improved my performance as a father, husband, and man.

I advise each of you to take a look at how you’ve been viewing your fellow man. Have you been immediately labeling married men as plugged in slaves? Have you looked at divorced men as failed leaders or MGTOWS as wastes of masculinity?

If so, you need to take a hard look at who you are as a man and ask yourself how quickly you could be written off. Life is short, you need to quickly decide on what good information is and what is bad. Don’t limit your chance for good information by discrediting the source before you even hear what they have to say.

We all walk our own path in this life, before you cut others out from walking the path next to you – hear them out and see what they have to say. Once you do that you can then judge them on the merit of their words and not the preconceived notion of who you think they are and what their worth is based on their relationship status.

-Hunter

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Don’t Open That

The phone isn't ALWAYS just for logistics

The phone isn’t ALWAYS just for logistics

Have you ever been in the situation where your phone is out on a table or in the open at a party?

Have you ever had it go off in a setting like that and experienced a mild panic attack because you think someone is going to go to open it and you know that it’s most likely going to be a picture of your wife’s bare body or some slutty message?

If not, I feel a little bad for you because the intimacy developed from those little gestures makes that panic attack well worth it. In fact, you enjoy that quick rush of getting to the phone and reading or seeing what she sent. It’s like you’re surrounded by people yet you & your lady are alone and able to share a moment.

Gentlemen, that’s what marriage is all about. It’s about the bond between you and that woman, it’s about the feeling you both get in each other’s presence. It’s the way your heart pounds when you embrace and how you lock her down with a hard kiss taking her breath away and refusing to let her know that she took yours away too.

When you can get a drop of that drug through a text or photo, you’ll be able to do things and share moments that you never could before.

Before I get too deep into this, I want to clarify that while I’m not anti-marriage I also don’t promote it; let this be your warning – don’t get married. I’m already married with two kids and there are a lot of other masculine men who are married. When I say that’s what marriage is all about I’m talking to the guys who are already in that club. If you aren’t, stay out unless you are fully aware of all consequences and plan to have children with the women whom I hope you’ve seriously vetted.

Now, you can apply this to long term relationships and for those who are already married and have been operating the marriage with the masculine and feminine roles clearly defined, you probably know exactly what I mean when I say – the sexual tension and desire you have for your girl can remain as strong as when you first met, if you work to keep that fire alive. (See: 10 ways to keep your wife on her toes)

Marriage takes work, for guys whose default is a masculine one it’s a little easier. But, keeping a woman interested and on her toes after 5, 10, 20 years? It takes concerted effort and with that said, you aren’t afraid of a little work are you?

I was born in 1987; because of this timing I’ve experienced no cell phones as well as wicked smart phones. I was able to both appreciate the outdoors and having to come inside when the streetlights came on while as well as being pretty proficient with Microsoft Excel, the internet, and technology as a whole. My generation didn’t have an obesity epidemic even though we did have the original Gameboy because my parents kicked us outside. There was no PC parenting (Fuck PC Parenting) going on and I was brought up understanding that boys and girls were different and that was ok.

I told you all of this to highlight the fact that my wife didn’t take a selfie until she was in her 20’s. She didn’t send a nude until 25(ish) and that was after some serious game and cunning on my part.

My wife also knows better than to open my photos in front of anyone

My wife also knows better than to open my photos in front of anyone

Now, for the past 2 years I have not been able to let others use my phone because I never know when her tits are going to appear or her sweet onion booty will grace my screen. I don’t have to ask for these – she wants me to see her, she teases me with her body and I reciprocate.

Too many marriages consist of this boring routine of:

  • wake up
  • get kids ready for school
  • go to work
  • come home
  • eat
  • drink
  • watch Netflix
  • go to bed
  • maybe have missionary for 5 minutes.
  • Repeat

This is completely unsatisfactory.

Marriage should be fucking amazing and full of joy, sex, and life satisfaction. You should be sending each other photos from time to time. They don’t have to be nudes, but a nice picture that simply shows some effort and more importantly it relays the message that you have the other person on your mind and you want them to have you on their mind.

The goal is to have a marriage where you can’t open messages from your spouse in front of others.

The way to achieve this is through flirting, laying game, making masculine moves (See: Masculine moves) and fucking teasing your girl like she’s the chick you had a crush on when you were a boy on the playground. Pull her hair, slap her butt, play pranks from time to time and do it in a masculine male manner.

Some guys try this and they come across as these immature annoying fucks; work on your tact and develop a suave nature about your pranks. Also, include sexual innuendo if you can – keep it light as you should be enjoying this (Don’t forget to enjoy the ride)

Not everything is a serious and intense battle of the sexes, sometimes you just need to step back, get out of your head, and have a fucking fun time.

Send your wife a pic of your fully erect cock the next time she’s out and say something along the lines of, “I was just thinking of you in your little black dress and now I’ve got to deal with this, what’s a man to do??

Obviously cater the message to your girl, but you get my point. You should be having fun and in turn it will allow her to take the battle armor off and have a good time as well. While writing this post I received a photo of my wife’s ass, she took the pic in a ladies room stall & told me there’s room for two and that she thought I could use some ass while she was in class (she’s a poet and didn’t even know it – I digress…)

The photo showed me that she’s thinking of me and the thought of her having me on her mind had me smiling from ear to ear.

These moments also open the door up to so many approaches it isn’t even funny. When she gets home I can tell her it’s time for a class on how to handle ass or I can say show me that beautiful booty as flesh is way better than pixels. You get the point, the photo is nothing more than a head nod, letting me know, she’s got me on her mind or that she wants some validation of her body. Either way, she is comfortable sending me the photos.

This leads into the responsibility you have as her man. If she shares nudes with you, they are for younot you and your boys. If you violate that trust she may never share them again. If it was a genuine accident, she’ll act shy but she will be proud of her body and she’ll know it turned other guys on which again, while embarrassing, it’s a part of the risk and provides a rush. You may be put in ‘sexy photo timeout’ for a while, but she’ll come around.

If you are the type of dude who wants to share his wife’s body, you’re a cuck. She is your woman and yours alone, don’t embarrass her or sacrifice the trust between the two of you just to gain points with your bros, it isn’t worth it.

Fuck others, haters will always hate - you do you as this is about you & your woman

Fuck others, haters will always hate – you do you as this is about you & your woman

Getting your marriage to the point where your phones have to be locked with screens facing down when in front of others. This is another sign of a healthy marriage. There will be people who would never do it out of privacy concerns with the fact that ‘big government’ is always watching. In my marriage, we just say fuck it. It’s led to some great laughs and awesome sexual conquests, see if it works for you.

– Hunter

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Break The Mold

You can't accept the truth until you accept you've been living a lie.You can’t accept the truth until you accept you’ve been living a lie.

The majority of men I know (majority as in 95%) are living their lives inside of a mold that was forged for them by white knights, women, and our society as a whole. As much as it sucks to accept – you, my reader, are probably a part of this group as well.

This article is not only a call to action, but also a call to acceptance.

Acceptance

In order to take the actions necessary for improvement & ownership of ‘self’, it is imperative you accept that you need to improve and raise your current standard. You need to accept that you are living your life within the confines of what others have told you is acceptable. Have you ever realized that your actions up to this point can be, with great accuracy, aligned with how others wanted you to perform?

As a young boy you were told fighting was bad, aggression was bad, and winning wasn’t everything. You were told you should settle down after high school, maybe find a girl in college and marry her. You were told that after marriage, you should expect a decline in sex and that the mantra of happy wife happy life is your best line of reasoning as a husband.

Sound familiar? It doesn’t stop there.

You were told that after marriage it is expected and acceptable that you gain weight and lose muscle mass. You were told that you should have a child, buy a house, and that more is better. Your wife also gained weight and you were told that this is acceptable and that ‘real’ men understand women get a little more plump after children. You were told that your aggression, sex drive, and competitive nature were still negative aspects of being a man and that these traits should be repressed.

You fit the bill? Keep reading…

You were told to sit down, shut up, work a job you probably don’t like, and use the money you made to buy shit you don’t need – or more accurately to buy shit that you were supposed to buy; funny how these items are all designed to keep you numb and weak (Cars, TVs, Video Games, cell phones,  cable). You were told that relationships are 50/50. You were told that men and women were equals and anyone who challenged that was a sexist pig. You were told to turn on your brothers who did not conform.

This is where it hits you in the heart.

You were told that anyone who challenged this status quo was to be excommunicated, ostracized, black balled, ignored, and targeted for physical attack in the name of ‘honor’. You were told that it was your job to fall on your sword for women and that it is better for you to sacrifice yourself at her expense than to allow a man living outside the mold to roam free.

You turned on your brothers, the ones who were there to save you.

Look at all that I’ve written, does any of it resonate with your story of how you got to where you are? At any point in my writing did you see the picture of a man who was making his own decision? Did you see a man who created his own role and followed his own path in life? The answer is a universally uncomfortable no.

Brothers, it’s time to stop doing what women, white knights, and main stream media are telling you to do.

It’s time to stop letting everyone but masculine men define what a Man is.

Before you move on, look back over what I’ve written and if you fit the mold – truly accept that. Accept your mediocre performance. Accept your failure to act like a man up to this point. Accept that you were duped by all those you trusted and let the anger, regret, disappointment, sadness, and rage flow through you.

Let your heart pound, let your head hurt, cry, puke, run, lift, whatever… you do what you must to process this – and then man up.

Make your first masculine decision, choose to break the mold.

Action

The minute you accept that you’ve been living inside a mold you’re able to see the boundaries to which you’ve been confined. Those transparent walls show themselves and once you see the walls, you can begin to break them.

Gentlemen, I do mean break them. You aren’t just climbing out of this mold, because that means there would be something for you to fall back into.

You’re going to break those mother fucking walls down and leave nothing but ash & rubble from which you will only use as a reminder of your previous ‘self’.

The beauty of masculinity is that it is completely free; masculine men know no bounds. You will not be climbing out of your ‘bluepill/plugged in’ mold and replacing it with another structure.

You will climb out of this mold and enter a world that is free of walls. You are no longer to be constrained to anything. You choose what you want to be. You create your reality.

This is where you develop your frame.

This is not a frame which holds a picture, your frame is your entire reality. It is the position which all others must exist.

In my frame my wife is fit, my children are fit, sex is crazy & frequent, there is no room for complaints, friends and family must earn my time and attention. I reject anything less, I refuse to reward failure and to be brought into the frame of another.

Your frame is for you to decide.

You need to fully immerse yourself in this aspect of reconstruction. You’ll find that you no longer know who you are, where you want to go in life, and if you’ll ever be able to forgive those who created the mold you suffered in for so many years.

This suffrage can, if allowed, be met by an equally powerful force. The limitless & irrational self confidence that all masculine men display.

You will feel these dark depths of depression and angst, but you’ll also feel this burning fire in your heart that will not extinguish. When the mold is broken and you are standing there looking at the blank slate that is the rest of your life – the fear & joy are so overpowering and equally present that you will find yourself laughing and smiling then crying an hour later.

This is a turbulent period in your reconstruction, but if you choose to follow the masculine path, you’ll only have to do this once.

Your unplugging from the feminine imperative, the one that created your mold also has a literal component to it. You must unplug yourself from the mainstream media. You must unplug from your mind numbing TV shows. You must unplug from all the activities that keep you unproductive – you must break the pattern of redundancy without progress.

If you’ve been doing the same thing day in and day out and are no closer to your goals, remove those unproductive habits. You’ve had enough ‘0’ days, it’s time to ensure that every action you are taking has a purpose. Every action, hobby, and habit that you have should be bringing you towards a goal. If you don’t know why you’re doing something – then why are you doing it?

How many hours have you spent watching Family Guy? How many hours binging on Netflix? How many hours mindlessly scrolling on your phone?

You’ve decided to break the mold, now break the habit of numbing yourself.

Examples

Draw a line in the sand. Set your first boundary and be ready to enforce it. Make that line the line that you’ll never cross again. Before you can rise up and pursue the greatest version of you that you can – you must first stop falling deeper into the mold. That line is it, refuse to repress your true self ever again – refuse to go against your gut feeling, refuse to reward failure and begin to set standards for yourself as well as those around you.

Immerse yourself in endeavors that require effort.

Lose some sleep chasing progress.

Set goals and create a road map with checkpoints to reach them.

Remove I don’t care from your vocabulary.

When your wife asks what you want, be honest.

Start working out – when asked why tell people it’s because you want to live a healthier life.

Start paying attention to your grooming & fashion.

Start taking yourself out of the stands and put yourself into the arena.

Start recognizing instances of repressed masculinity in MSM, social media, and with interactions with your friends & family.

Recognize you need to game your woman, lead your family, and find comfort in the discomfort of living life as a masculine male in a society where weakness is praised & disgustingly glorified.

Be aware that you cannot gain anything by living in the past. Do not resent your wife, family, and friends for allowing you to become so pitifully weak. They didn’t do this to you, you did it to yourself. You compromised your true ‘self’ and they did as society told them. It is not their fault, so let the grudge die and channel that energy towards greater productivity.

Understand that relationships may not survive. If you got married or started dating while living inside that mold which was created for you, the people you committed to chose the man in the mold – so be it. You are no longer that man.

You aren’t breaking the mold in order to save your marriage – you’re breaking the mold to save your self. Do what you can, but always keep in mind that you cannot compromise your true nature for the convenience and comfort of another.

Parting Words

I will leave you with this, if you do not take the initiative to make these things happen – then they never will. You are never going to reach that ‘disney ending’ where people love you for who you are and the world respects you just because you’re a man. The void in your heart, it’s the void of repressed masculinity, you can’t fill it by buying more ‘stuff‘ – only by living in accordance with your true nature.

You must command yourself and only then will you be in a position to command others. Accept that the mold exists, accept that you’ve been living in it for too long, and take the actions to destroy those walls and join your masculine brothers who are roaming free…

We need you.

I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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A String & Some Polaroids

Your entire life is nothing more than a string with some Polaroids hanging from it.

Your entire life is nothing more than a string with some Polaroids hanging from it.

This past weekend I hiked a portion of the Appalachian Trail with a few buddies from my first deployment. As anyone who has gone camping with friends can tell you, eventually the subjects of conversation reach that ‘next level’ where things get deep.

I had been touching on the surface of The Family Alpha with them, just dropping a few bread crumbs about how I felt in regards to masculinity and the role manly men play in our society when one of the guys said, “You have an interesting view on life, I’d like to hear what you think the point of it all is…”

The following is an attempt at revisiting that answer and letting you get a different view on this life. Ultimately my goal is to give you a new perspective and mental tool to use in your decision making process in this life, a tool that can help you live a life of no regrets.

The Point Of It All According to Hunter Drew

The way I look at it is like this – When you are born your life (string) is wrapped around a nail that is sticking out of the wall and with each passing minute, like the time that ticks away while you read this post –that string grows. It is unwound from a spool that has a predetermined length of string.

As you age, you have Polaroids clipped onto that string. In the beginning there are so many that they often overlap – your first words, learning your colors, these first memories of your life are your first Polaroids. As we age – a gap begins to grow between those photos. The ‘moments’ of your life begin to space out as each experience is no longer as new or profound.

This is where the divide between those who live a full life and those don’t can be found. It is also at this point where the masculine man separates himself from his white knight, plugged in, beta, blue pill counterparts.

You see, the masculine man is always hanging Polaroids. He views each day to be an opportunity to achieve something. Each day is like a new life, where his awakening is his birth and he knows that sleeping that night will be his death – so he does all he can to set his next life up for success and to own the opportunity he has been given in this day.

When people have ‘near death’ experiences, they always say their life flashed before their eyes. You know what’s happening? Their mind is flying along that string and the Polaroids are zipping by as it does so. You want to be the guy whose mind has to fly past a lot of photos.

The masculine man finds purpose and exercises discipline the moment he opens his eyes. He wakes up early and instead of listening to the voice that tells him to remain under the warm blanket, he gets up. Walking from his bed, shaking the sleep from his mind he sees whatever his goal is. Maybe he rises early to lift weights, when he grabs that bar – a Polaroid is hung, he’ll remember the time he exercised his discipline and once again went to service at the Iron Temple.

Maybe he rises early to write more for his book, do some schoolwork, or hit the pavement and log some miles – each of those actions is a Polaroid being hung, those moments come from existing in the moment.

These decisions to take action and be in the moment are not as common as they should be. This goes way beyond waking up early.

I’ll use a real life example that was shared by a friend of mine around the campfire.

He was driving cross country a few years ago and during his road trip he knew he would be driving past the Grand Canyon. The detour to see the Canyon would add 3 hours to his voyage, but there was no deadline to reaching his destination. He decided to pass on the opportunity and figured he would see it some other time, possibly on his drive back…It has been 5 years, he has yet to see the Grand Canyon and he regrets the decision to not do so when he had the opportunity – he missed the chance to hang a Polaroid on his lifeline.

Gentlemen, that’s what the point of this life is, choosing to see the Grand Fucking Canyon, choosing to take that action, wake up earlier, go on those trips, practice forced discomfort, and live in each and every moment.

Growing Older is a Privilege that has been denied to many.

Growing Older is a Privilege that has been denied to many.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed and the privilege you have to grow older is one that has been denied to many. Instead of making my friend feel bad for choosing not to see the Grand Canyon I told him to view it as his Tipping Point. I want him to look back to that gap on his lifeline, that missing Polaroid and use that void as a reference point when making other decisions.

When you choose to lay in bed, you miss a chance to live.

When you choose to watch porn, you miss a chance to live

As the gaps grow you become dead on the inside, that passionate flame for life dwindles

As the gaps grow you become dead on the inside, that passionate flame for life dwindles

You find excuse after excuse to not eat right, to not lift weights, to not write that book, to not go back to school, to not put the phone down and play with your kids, to not read the books, to not visit the places around you, to not live….Your string will reach it’s end and when it does, you’ll look back at the gas and regret the time you wasted while others lived.

Acta, Non Verba – Take Action Brothers, don’t just talk about it or type about it online – take real, physical actions…the window of opportunity is closing with each breath you take.

This post isn’t about sexual strategy, nor is it really about improving your ‘self’ – it’s about truly living. Too few people are actually living their life. Consuming products that you’ve been told you should like does not provide you with a Polaroid. Getting 30 likes on Facebook does not provide you with any Polaroids. Being overweight, being bogged down by ego, and being an individual who refuses to leave their comfort zone prevents you from getting any Polaroids.

You have to live this life as a genuine person and fucking seize each and every day. I want you to get everything you can from this life, I truly do. So please, after reading this, go do some ‘thing’ that you’ve been putting off and feel how fucking good it is to take an action and live in the moment. Then, do it again – actually do something that you’ve said you were going to do for the past week, month, or year.

I wish you the best,

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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