cigoL Fat Edition

This will become a running series of sorts. Backwards logic can be found in most modern movements, such as the ‘Health at every size‘. With that said, this post will obviously be focusing on the Fat that’s weighing my country down.

To think you can ignore a problem until it resolves itself is so backwards and illogical that if I hadn’t witnessed it firsthand time and again, I’d never believe people actually behaved like this.

Saying you love someone more than anything yet you’re unable to directly confront them on an issue should show you that you do not love them more than you love the current comfort you’re enjoying in your life. That obese child is not going to ‘grow out of it‘, that chubby teen girl is not going to ‘blossom into a beauty‘, there is never going to be a ‘right time’ to have the difficult conversation with these loved ones about their issues…

But you have too…if you do not, they’ll eventually reach the point of ‘no return’ and forever suffer the entirely preventable negative health complications which could have been avoided had you only had the courage to say something.

I’ve already covered the growing (no pun intended) population of Funny Fat Guys as well as the need to work with your wife to Balance the Scales so I will focus this post on those we interact with on a relatively frequent basis or are a part of our lives and we give enough of a shit about them that we are willing to take the difficult, yet necessary actions.

*I’d like to note, this applies to those who are extremely underweight as well.

We’ll be covering:

  1. Fat Family
  2. Fat Kids
  3. Fat Friends
  4. Fat Pets

Fat Family

You don't have the time you think you have, act now before it's too late to make a difference.

You don’t have the time you think you have, act now before it’s too late to make a difference.

You may have a fat mom, dad, brother, or sister and while you’ve noted their growing weight and declining health, you’ve avoided directly bringing it up or looking the other way when they struggle to get out of a chair, move around a restaurant, or fit on a plane; how has that worked for you and them so far?

How has their life improved because of your silence? How are you able to talk about their declining health, possibly to other members in your family without reaching the point where you throw your comfortable relationship to the side in order to do what must be done?

You must make the difficult decision now to risk losing that person and forever ruining the relationship in order to save their life.

I know it sucks, I know you feel your heart try to rip through your chest when you think of it. I know you feel you won’t have the right words or that the conversation will turn immediately to blame, yelling, anger, regret, guilt, etc.

I know that this could result in a strained relationship for the rest of their life without improvement of health on their part so you’ll feel it was all for naught…

But that isn’t the truth, because if you do make the decision to have that conversation and take that more difficult path of direct confrontation, you’ll be able to go to the grave knowing that at least you tried.

When everyone else stood in the stands watching this loved one eat themselves to the grave you stepped into the arena and fought.

Maybe you win, maybe you lose, but at least when your family member is struggling with confidence, unable to live, and slowly dying in front of your eyes while all others wish they’d done more and for the rest of their days will have that regret, you will not, because you acted.

Others may say that you calling your family member out is disrespectful, especially if it is a parent, but this isn’t about respect or allowing others to remain comfortable, it’s about life. When you are fat you lack confidence, you lack physical capability, and you suffer preventable health complications on the mind as well as body. You carry that weight mentally, physically, and spiritually.

You cannot hang Polaroids if you cannot live…

Fat Kids

This is becoming the 'norm' Stop It

This is becoming the ‘norm’ Stop It

Your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

There are a lot of parents of fat children who talk about how, back in their day they didn’t have tablets. What kind of bullshit sorcery are these people talking about, these parents buy their kid a tablet then bitch about kids on tablets.

They can’t bitch about kids on tablets, I can because when the sun is out, my kids are out. I’m not having a screen raise them, in fact I advise families Kill the TV and start investing in quality time together.

Fat kids are the product of weak parents, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have spent hours arguing/discussing this with people in my real life and online. There is no reason a child should be overweight *barring diagnosed conditions which are wicked fucking rare & even those conditions only account for 10-20lb weight gain.

The reason kids are fat is because they are sedentary for a plethora of reasons, their diet is fucking shit, and their parents don’t give a fuck or are placing emphasis on work and comfort over the more difficult path of actually raising their Sons (Post Here for Boys) & Daughters (Post here for girls).

Your child’s life is heavily influenced by the standard of upbringing they receive from you, the parent. The habits, relationship with food, fitness, and overall approach to life will be developed from the actions you’re taking.

Kids follow your example, not your advice.

If you are eating right and working out, there is no reason that you should not be applying this to your child’s life as well. They are never too young to get active and get moving with you or on their own.

My daughter is 4 and she was downstairs with me today doing kettlebell swings while my wife and I dead-lifted. Then, she was showing me how close she is to doing a split and asking about stretches. My son is the same way, always doing push-ups or climbing, running, etc. The kid was outside late last night using our front light as a spotlight so he could keep throwing his football in the air and try to catch it one-handed “like Odell Beckham Jr.

Foster an environment in your home where you cook with your kids, have them cook for you, and while you’re doing so talk to them about the ingredients being added and what each one does for your body. Make your kids a part of your exercise program and have fun with it.

This doesn’t have to be some strict food & fitness Nazi style parenting. My kids have snacks, but instead of ice cream I’ll give them frozen grapes, or they’ll make their own fruit concoctions.

Make it fun and develop a healthy household where people eat to live and aren’t living just to eat.

Fat Friends

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

People say you’re the result of those you keep close company with. Look at your friends, are they fit or are they fat?

Have you ever approached your fat friend or are you taking the, “They’re an adult, I don’t have any business or responsibility saying anything to them about their weight.” approach? Because I’m telling you right now, if any of the guys pictured above were my friend I would absolutely be talking to them about un-fucking their life.

What’s the worst that can happen, you lose a friend because you tell them they are going to destroy their life for no reason other than being gluttonous? Is losing someone who can’t take your advice/opinion really a friend in the first place?

I get it, we all want to be comfortable and just have a good fucking time, but these guys and girls who you call ‘friends’, their fat selves are going to start experiencing the pain of being fat and act like they don’t know why they’re sick, why they can’t get pregnant, why their joints hurt, why they can’t climb the mountain or jet-ski with you and your girl…

They’re going to suffer, and suffer, and suffer all because nobody has the fucking balls to tell them that all of their extra weight is killing them.

Grab your fucking balls and have that difficult conversation, if you lose the friendship then at least you know how weak it was in the first place.

Fat Pets

I focus on dogs as I’m a dog guy, insert whatever pet you have; the advice remains the same.

I don’t laugh when I see dogs that are fat as shit and have a hard time running around. I’m a ‘dog guy’, the photo above is my most loyal companion, the only thing in this world which loves me more than himself and I’ll never stop appreciating that.

When I see bulldogs or other dogs which have a stockier build I immediately look to see if the dog is being treated like he’s a frat brother. People think certain animals are supposed to be fat so they’ll feed them Cheetos, have them drink beer, and just treat the animal like it’s a fucking garbage disposal. They don’t exercise it regularly nor do they bring it anywhere to ‘experience’ the outdoors.

Your dog doesn’t need to be eating Blue Buffalo, but god damn, give some attention to what it’s funneling down its throat.

The same goes for exercise and ‘life experience’. Has your dog ever been to a lake, the ocean, a park, or the woods? If all it has seen is the block you walk around and your backyard, why the fuck do you have a pet?

This animal needs to burn energy; a tired dog is a happy dog.

I bring my dude places in the Jeep, sneak him to a lake we aren’t supposed to swim at, let him run the woods, and we get Target brand food. The best? Negative, but it’s better than the crap that you get for .99/lb we’ll also supplement his food with richer proteins & meat occasionally.

Ensure you’re setting the standard for everyone in your clan, too include your loyal companions.

I understand this is a sensitive subject, but when you look at the ‘big picture’ isn’t a little discomfort now, better than a big discomfort later when everyone realizes that maybe their isn’t health to be found at every size…

-Hunter

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The Pride

Take Pride in You

Take Pride in You

 

Gentlemen, once you’ve  recognized the need to destroy The Void in your heart and eradicate the The Shame from your mind by reaching out to your brethren you can then experience something which has eluded your grasp for too long, a sense of pride.

Masculinity has been under attack for so long that most men now default to not taking pride in any attribute which may bring into question their support of the feminine imperative.

I’m here to tell you – Fuck. That.

As you go through the process of reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll eventually find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with the choice of vocalizing your masculine identity or continuing on with the facade (remaining a Clown).

Brothers, I’m telling you now, after you’ve face down those dark clouds and chose to stop repressing your genuine self, you deserve to take pride in the man you’ve created. 

Choosing the comfort of the lie is so easy; it’s so fucking easy to remain comfortable and to sit there and eat what you want, never get sore, and avoid all the discomfort out there in the world; it’s so damn easy. Yet, for whatever reason, you chose to find the comfort in the discomfort of reality. You’ve chosen to express your masculine nature when everyone around you wanted you to do the opposite. You chose to invest in you and live a life as the ‘real’ you vice the scripted you.

Take pride in that brother, you deserve it.

The whole world has told you the opposite. Our society has tried to snuff out that masculine fire since you were born and at some point maybe they didbut like the Phoenix, you chose to rise from the ashes, burning hotter than ever.

You’ve been told not to be a presence, but rather to make yourself meek and unimposing. You’ve been told to refrain from being aggressive, competitive, and lustful in any way. Women have told you to share feelings, your mother has told you to be a nice boy, and teachers have told you to sit still and your limitless energy is something you need to ‘get control over’.

This went on for years and for years you learned to default your decisions and behaviors to that of a man who fit the Mold and didn’t make waves, until now.

When you face that inevitable moment where you decide weak or strong, meek or masculine remember all of the days, weeks, and years where you chose the former and look where it’s gotten you.

You’ve gone long enough beating back your true nature, you’ve repressed your genuine self long enough. For possibly the first time in your life you now have someone telling you, take pride in being a man.

Own every aspect of that newfound sense of self and let the haters watch the show you’re about to put on. While you live, they’ll comment from the sideline. Before you know it you’ll have yourself in the arena and you’ll be laughing at the man in the stands saying the day is hot.

Embrace you and when the time comes, show the true you. Tell people, “No.” when that’s the answer. Stop trying to alleviate your decision or soften the blow by proving justifiers, tell someone No and then go about your business. Own every aspect of your masculinity take pride in:

  • Your sexuality. It’s OK to want sex, take pride in that lustful fire burning in your loins.
  • Your competitive & aggressive nature. You should want to win. I’ve gotten into physical fights over games of checkers and chess – fuck it, be in it to win it.
  • Your romantic nature. Men live hard, they also love hard and have very passionate feelings towards whatever they find of value. I lose sleep some nights because I can’t stop thinking of the men who fucking hate themselves and their lives. My wife asks why I’m not in bed and I tell her my mind is full. Sometimes I’ll share a little and ask her if she knows how I can get these men to just ‘wake up’ and recognize that they are their problem and they are also their solution. She tells me I worry too much about things I can’t control, but also that she is glad her man has a fire in his heart when so many are content and numb to feeling anything or caring enough to do anything about the things that do bother them.
  • Your desire to lead. My relationship isn’t 50/50 and I’ve said that to others, it blows their fucking mind when I say that I lead my marriage. Of course they turn to my girl and challenge my statement through her and she laughs saying she loves being able to enjoy the ride while I handle business. Of course there are areas where we come together, she is a responsible woman and she has on more than 10 occasions made the better decision than what I was going to make. I listen and if she’s right I adjust to her plan, still leading the venture. When we are dead-locked I make the final call, think of it as a 51-49 relationship. Embrace your own desire, you’re a man step up and lead, stop waiting for someone to take care of you.
  • Your sense of ‘Self’. You don’t need your wife’s permission to grow a beard or mustache. At the same time, you need to make sure you aren’t just going with the easiest ‘self’ you can create. Don’t walk around saying, “My real self plays video games all day, fuck what society and women want me to do.” You have a role to fill, there’s a reason I call this blog The Family Alpha. You’re the leader of your clan, you’ve got to set the standard from which all others will be measured. Be the true you, not the lazy you and at the same time, be the you that you want to be. I have a beard, my wife told me she wasn’t a ‘beard girl’, I grew my beard anyway and guess what, now she’s definitely a ‘beard girl’. Watch what women do, never follow what they say.

The world doesn’t have to love you, you have to love you. It’s time to stop hiding from yourself and way past due for you to stop hiding yourself from the world. Own your shit, take pride in who you are and what it is you plan to do in this life. Pursue your goals and live un-apologetically. There’s no reason to be sorry for being a man, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your masculinity.

The negative feelings you have towards behaving like a man are due entirely to socially constructed ‘rules’ which are set up to keep you contained. Break free brothers and let the whole fucking world know that you are here to win.

Own it.

Acta Non Verba,

-Hunter
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The Shame

You were supposed to be a King; it was never supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be a King; it was never supposed to be like this.

I was recently asked how a guy who was ashamed to show his body was supposed to start hitting the gym. This guy was a father, husband, and man who truly wanted to reclaim his masculine ‘self’ yet was too embarrassed and ashamed to take that first step out into the world. Like Quasimodo who was more comfortable in his tower this man chose video games over social exposure because that was what kept him comfortable and safe.

This post is for the men who suffer that crippling fear of judgement; those self-defeating thoughts that they’re too fat, too ugly, and too weak to achieve what they see others achieving online, in movies, on Twitter, and all over the internet. Those guys can do it because they’re luckier, richer, had easier lives, etc…

These men know that the excuses they’re using to justify why others are taking action while they remain stagnant are total bullshit, but it soothes the wound to the ego temporarily and it buys them time to do something else to distract them from reality; Netflix, Video Games, Computer, Phone, etc…

These men fear venturing into the world because they fear being ostracized and they can get over that absolutely overwhelming and crushing shame in what their body & mind have become.

They let fear of judgement overcome desire to improve; to quote Mark Baxter, “Their level of disgust in themselves has yet to exceed the desire to do nothing”.

With permission I’m sharing a part of my email back to him:

It isn’t just your body which is weak, it’s your mind as well and that’s ok; because now you know you’ve got to pull your head out of your ass and start living. You aren’t getting a ‘re-do’ on life. My blog is just a bunch of words; it’s your application of them which I’m writing for. 

With all of this said, I won’t tell you to find motivation in your kids or your wife, I’m going to tell you to find motivation in yourself because if you don’t believe in you, then why should anyone else? If you don’t believe in you then why should those you are leading believe in themselves?

Your kids follow your example, not your advice – they see when you keep the shirt on and when you are ashamed of your body.

There’s been enough of that in your life; too many days, weeks, and years have been spent doing it that way.

It’ time for a change brother, own it. Start having a blast and who gives the slightest fuck if someone looks, comments, or whatever – become unshakable and own this life.” – Hunter

The Shame

Men are told that if they followed this set path of don’t make waves, be nice, and share their feelings that they’d ‘get the girl‘ and their life would be set. They’d be the King of their castle, their wife would submit to their lead, and their children would sit around them absorbing the aura of masculinity being let off by their father.

That’s not reality and more men are finding this out day by day.

I’ve made it a point to consistently push the message that lifting weights is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculine nature. What I’ve failed to address is how does the man who does not currently have the confidence to show his body at the gym take this step?

Before I answer it’s important to place yourself inside the mind of the ashamed man. Try to look at the world through his perspective and if this seems eerily familiar, recognize that this may be you.

The men who recognize something is wrong are the ones who start looking for answers. They have a void in their heart and an incredible sense of self-hate growing; this leads them to turning to Google or some form of social media to figure out what the problem is. They’ll stumble across the Manosphere, The Red Pill, or Married Red Pill subreddit and read for hours, sometimes days.

They’ll come out of this journey awakened to the fact that:

  1. The comfortable world they’ve been living in is a lie & now they’re uncomfortable.
  2. They are the source of their problem; not the excuses they’ve used up to this point.
  3. They have to do more to achieve more; their life of ease has to be destroyed and that’s a difficult thing to let go of.

These men now know that they’ve got to take action. Every other post they read contains a variation of, “Do you even lift Bro?

The issue is, they don’t know how to lift. More importantly, they don’t have the confidence to go somewhere or the discipline/finances to do it alone at home.

Gentlemen, I’m telling you now, you’ve suffered long enough. How many more days, weeks, years are you going to be the man who:

  • Is at the beach wearing shirts, sitting on the towels or wading deep enough into the water so you can squat low enough to hide your body under the water?
  • Can’t run around with your kids because you can’t run?
  • Is trying to take up as little space possible and remain unnoticed when you attend parties or functions?
  • Only feels the slightest sense of relief when you’re eating and at home yet when you’re done and see the empty soda bottles and pizza boxes feel disgust and more self-hate than you did before?
  • Cries when in the shower, driving home from work, or when you’re in bed next to your woman who won’t even consider touching your dick?
  • Contemplates suicide or eating yourself into an early grave while hiding in your ‘safe’ cave at home?

I get it brother, you feel those black clouds will forever hide that light you once felt as a young man; that masculine fire which burned so hot when you had passion for life has been snuffed out.

I’m telling you now, so long as you don’t give up on you, there is still hope for you to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. You have to act, you have to look deep inside one more time and give your masculine self one more shot. Except this time you have the words of Hunter Drew giving you fuel, telling you to Burn your motherfucking ship on the shore as there is no retreat, you’re going all in this time.

No longer will you eat to feel comfortable, no longer will you masturbate when your wife goes to the store, no longer will you sit while your child runs…

The shame you carry runs to your core. That’s how deep change is going to have to happen. Layer by layer you’re going to have to strip away the ‘make-up’ you’ve been putting over your true self. You’re going to have to stop living like a clown and start living like a genuine man.

When that raw genuine masculine skin first hits the surface it’s going to burn. Your friends and family are going to shit test you, your wife is going to think this is just another one of your attempts to ‘man up’ just like last New Year’s, your muscles will hurt from use and your mind will hurt from withdrawals from the sugar, porn, and other toxins that will eventually clear out.

What actions do you have to take to turn life around, reclaim your masculine nature, and develop a genuine sense of self before you’re able to hit the weights?

It starts with a conversation. It starts with taking the action of sending a message to an individual whom you connect with. Maybe you email me, maybe you email another member on the Manosphere, but you have to start the process by simply taking the action of giving enough of a shit about yourself that you swallow your pride, kill your ego, and reach out for help.

From there, you have to listen. That person, if they’re willing, is going to give you advice on how they succeeded. You’ll set goals, you’ll be held accountable, and there will be expectations that you uphold your end of the bargain.

Time is the most valuable asset we have, the masculine man you find worthy of filling the role of ‘mentor’ will not dedicate his time to a man who does not truly above all else, want to reclaim his life.

Be that man and burn the ship, it’s now or never brother.

Reach out and rid yourself of the shame that has plagued you for too long.

-Hunter
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The Void

Don't suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Don’t suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Are you a man that is living a lifestyle which somehow doesn’t feel quite right?

Do you feel as though there is this void, this sense of missed satisfaction and incomplete daily regret?

If you fall into this category, understand that you aren’t alone. The sense of missing something is shared by thousands, if not millions of men out there. It’s not just the married guys either; single dudes, guys in LTR’s – they all have this fucking void that they can’t fill.

I’m letting you know right now that this feeling of emptiness and this feeling of being ‘weighed down’ is a direct result of repressed masculinity. The feeling of having a weight vest on, one that prevents you from taking actions, telling jokes, achieving goals, and just barely allowing you to keep your head above water; these are the symptoms suffered by men who repress their masculinity and it isn’t going to get any better until you do something about it.

For the guys who just discovered the manosphere, it’s not your fault; the cards were stacked against you; from birth your reality and frame were stripped of you. Your life was molded by society and the white knight fucks supporting the female imperative. They gave you that mold with the warning: If you think outside this box you are wrong, ungrateful, pathetic, and weak – stay inside this box, keep your picture in this frame, and DON’T EVER CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

Sad, but true.

For the guys who have discovered the manosphere and still continue to push back against the plight faced by yourself and your fellow men, you are a fucking disgusting gender traitor. I know it sucks to have your reality shattered the way The Red Pill does so efficiently, but it is still the truth and you must find comfort in this discomfort.

Even when you fight back saying ‘masculinity’ is how guys compensate, or what the fuck ever you still know the truth and no matter how bad you want to go back to how things were when you were a comfortable nice guy, you’ll never be able to hide from the strings you see controlling the system. Men who see the truth yet continue to choose their comfortable lie still have a void, though they’ll never admit it as their ego cannot allow them to do so.

The void where regret, indecisiveness, sadness, and self loathing fester and grow is surrounded by a wall that was created by those who are looking out for themselves. The people who say you shouldn’t be confrontational, that you shouldn’t express your true desires, that you should take it all, bottle it up, and shove it deep inside – those people aren’t following that advice, they want you to do it because that supports their goals.

Here are a few truths:

  • You will never get the best of your life or your women until you accept the truth, embrace who you are as a man, and live an irrationally confident lifestyle. You have to love her the way you want to love her, not the way you think she wants to be loved.
  • You will never fill that void until you find a way to love who you are as a man. To love who you are requires you to break the mold. For guys who get it this is natural, these are the guys who are able to stand in front of a group of people, tell a joke which lands flat, lay out a witty remark, and continue to smile and grab a drink. Other men would sulk, think deeply on why the joke sucked, and the rest of the night they would be lost in their head thinking of where they went wrong and why nobody likes them. Do you see the difference? A man is happy and confident no matter what.
  • You will go to your death bed with regrets if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and start completely immersing yourself in the moments of life all the while expressing your masculine nature vice repressing it. Starting creating moments vice numbing yourself weekly with booze, TV, and scrolling on your phone looking at girls from your high-school days.
  • You cannot fill this void with any object or a woman. No female or item in the world will fill the hole your ‘genuine self‘ belongs in.

The last point is probably the most heart wrenching in my eyes. If you do not find your ‘self’ you will look back on your entire life wondering why you squandered your most precious gift away, your time. You’ll go to your deathbed with regret, wishing, “If only I could go back to when I read that post on that blog. If I had just started that day I’d of achieved so much and experienced a world of joy.

I look at the guys who are asking for help and just want to throat punch them through the screen. There are men on TRP & MRP who are looking for other men to support their decision to stay with their repetitively cheating lady; as if their world would crumble if somehow that one relationship didn’t work. If she is cheating you probably deserve it and the relationship is most likely already dead, move the fuck on and get over your relationship PTSD.

The same can be said for the guys who want to know what decisions they should make in their lives. Gentlemen, it’s your life, read the posts, blogs, and books then make the decision you feel is best going to get you to where you want to be. You have to stop making excuses to justify your mediocre existence and performance up to this point and instead claim ownership and start taking actions.

In all of these cases we see men who don’t know where they want to be, they don’t know who they are so therefore how can they plan and act in accordance with reaching that end goal?

This is why it is so oft repeated it’s about YOU. You have to know who you are and what it is you want from this life. Do you know how you find out who you are?

  1. You Lift
  2. You Read
  3. You Listen
  4. You Act
  5. You Observe
  6. You Change
  7. Disregard the un-essential

In each of these moments you will discover something about yourself. You will see where you stand physically, mentally, socially, your level of confidence, and that you aren’t perfect which is great because there is no fun to be had if there is no room to grow.

Fill that void gentlemen, stop wasting your precious time with the feeling of regret that I know creeps into your mind at night, during rides to work, and while you are alone. That isn’t how life should be lived. You do not need your wife, your house, your kids, your money, or your car – you need you.

Once you realize that if everything were to be stripped away and you’d still smile – only then can you start taking actions and leading others towards where it is you want everyone to be without the fear and void that plagues so many of our brothers. Then and only then, will your rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and soar to your greatest masculine potential.

If you are struggling in silence & only see it getting worse, please email me: TheFamilyAlpha@Gmail.Com

-Hunter
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Masculine Model #2 – Conor McGregor

In the first edition of this series I chose General Mattis (Read it here) as the best masculine role model out there. If you know anything of the man then you’re completely aware that the man embodies all of the traits a masculine man has.

In this post and from here on out I’m going to choose men who embody specific traits of the masculine male. I’m going to provide real men, not fictional characters who may set an example from which you can apply to your own life. The goal is to fight back against the Homer Simpsons, Peter Griffins, and Phil Dunphys out there.

In keeping with the tradition of this blog, I’m going to set irrational confidence as the first trait specific role model. In my post Lifting is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculinity I touch on the fact that lifting weights isn’t solely for physical health but rather it facilitates mental growth as well as developing irrational and limitless levels of self-confidence.

Gentlemen, if you are looking to get the most from this life then you need to exhibit this common traits shared amongst the most successful and masculine men out there.

Confidence

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

Irrational levels of self-confidence are crucial to the reclamation of your masculine self. This blog is mainly read by men who, for whatever reason, have fallen off the track of masculinity and are now working to find themselves again.

So I say, to the men who’ve grown their dadbod, gone months without sex, or maybe are just single and reading this to avoid any mistakes when getting into a long-term relationship you have to believe in you.

If you’re going to express your masculinity and no longer repress it then you’ve got to believe in yourself and you’ve got to believe, 100% that you are capable of doing this. The only way you can become the man you were meant to be is to commit every fiber of your being to this action. You do it by burning your ship as there is no going back.

Conor McGregor needed food stamps to eat before his UFC debut in Sweden (where he earned a bonus of $60,000 for the Knockout of the Night) this man went into that ring knowing he had shot to make a lasting first impression. After 67 seconds he had the knockout of the night, a Win, and the attention of Dana White.

This post isn’t about covering his career, it’s about showing you that you too must cultivate that same mindset when you go into everything. 

Each post I write I take on as my only shot to captivate my reader. This article is my only article some people will read, I want it to make an impact. I want to knock people out with my words and have them coming back for more, improving their own life every time they read what I have to say.

Commitment to Self & Belief in Ability to Win

Life is a game, play to Win.

Life is a game, play to Win.

This life isn’t about simply existing; it’s about finding purpose, passion, and living a life filled with plenty of Polaroids. This game of life is all you’ve got, so play to Win. Don’t be content with the meager slice society has told you to appreciate, take as much as you want as often as you want.

Men are told to take single mothers, fat women, and sexless prudes and to then shut up and be happy because. 

Most men do, and they fucking hate themselves for the rest of their life.

Take responsibility for your life, then take action as it is action, not words which leads to change and reclamation of self; Acta, Non Verba…

Don’t go into anything half-assed, commit yourself to actually giving enough of a shit to trying harder. Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say you’re trying your hardest? I doubt it as very few can.

So, start trying harder. Start making the decisions which make you a little uncomfortable, a little sore, lose a little sleep, etc.

Start implementing some intentional discomfort into your life so you stop being so damn cozy all of the time.

Total Dedication to Mission

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

MMA is Conor McGregor’s passion, his purpose and he does not let anything get in-between him and his mission in life.

You must foster this same sense of commitment in yourself.

You must have a mission in this life and your mission must not be your woman or kids. This is about the self that masculine power which is currently dormant inside your body. Wake it up, light that fire, then begin to pursue your mission.

People may say, “Well Conor McGregor doesn’t have a family to worry about.” and they’re right.

Family men do have lives they’re responsible for, I still don’t give a shit about your weak excuse to justify your mediocre performance up to this point. Stop using your family as a burden and start viewing them as fuel. They will follow your lead, so show them what a masculine man is capable of. Lead your family while writing your book, lifting your weights, and pursuing your mission. Find a way to balance them all, then execute.

Conor McGregor’s Traits

Confidence in Self: Mr. McGregor believes in Mr. McGregor, whether you do or not is something he doesn’t giving the slightest of fucks about. Don’t be the guy who says he ‘cocky’ to others or to gain favor with women. You should view that as a trait you want to wrap yourself up in and foster in your own environment. Do your thing, who gives a fuck if your neighbor ‘Steve’ thinks you doing kettlebell looks weird, you do you.

No Reservation: Conor has burned his ship on the shore, there is no retreat. You must do the same. Stop sitting on the fence as to whether you’re going to go ‘all-in’ with what I’m advising on this blog or what you’ve read on The Red Pill. Do or don’t, but stop pussy footing around making a decision and commit like a masculine man should.

Dedication to Mission: Commitment to the craft of Mixed Martial Arts is Conor McGregor’s calling, what is your’s? If you don’t know what your mission is, then why are you taking the actions you’re taking? You’ve got to step back and figure out who you are as a man and what it is you want from this life.

Do it sooner rather than later because the time is ticking and day by day you’ll have one less action you’ll be capable of performing.

-Hunter

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Excuses

Stop making excuses as to why you're wasting your time before it runs out.

Stop making excuses as to why you’re wasting your time before it runs out.

The saying goes, “Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

This is something I’d like you to recognize and truly wrap your mind around. Everyone makes an excuse as to why they can’t do the things they need to do. Only a very select few people out there are making excuses to do the things they need to do.

Ask yourself these questions and see if you can come up with an answer that isn’t complete bullshit which you know to be a lie you tell yourself to justify mediocre performance.

  1. What excuse do you have for not gaming your wife these past few years? Why don’t you treat her like a lover anymore yet expect her to act like one?
  2. What excuse do you have for plugging your kids in front of a screen day after day; refusing to put your phone away and educate, play with, or lead them?
  3. What excuse do you have for the weight you’ve put on?
  4. What’s your excuse for giving your time and attention to those who are not worthy; hanging with deadbeat friends who do nothing but complain and waste your time with booze or pot?
  5. What excuse do you have for how weak you have become physically, spiritually, & mentally?
  6. What is your excuse for all of the times you didn’t speak up and tell the world how you truly felt because you’d rather play it safe and not make waves; making yourself like everyone else in an attempt to be accepted by them?
  7. What’s your excuse for putting everyone ahead of yourself?
  8. What’s your excuse for letting society tell you what you should like, how you should act, and what you should accept?
  9. What’s your excuse for rewarding failure time and again?
  10. What excuse do you have for repressing your masculine nature?

People will make an excuse as to why they didn’t go to the gym, yet the winners out there are making excuses to go to the gym.

When is the last time you said, “Hey man I’m going to be late to your (insert event) because I need to hit the gym.”? When is the last time you made the decision to not go to bed but rather stay up late because you had to knock some project out?

The issue we have is that of too much comfort and too little appreciation of time.

Comfort

People have become so fucking comfortable that they’d rather suffer a mediocre existence than put in the slightest effort required for improvement. People choose to complain and seek validation through those complaints instead of just shutting the fuck up and putting in the work.

I had a husband email me talking about how his wife refuses to follow his lead and that they have a deadbedroom. I found out he was fat. I asked him why he thought his wife would want to fuck a fat dude. He went on to explain through 6 paragraphs how a knee injury from high school football (when he was really cut and strong of course) prevented him from lifting weights, running, etc.

I’m 4 classes away from my MS in Exercise Science, I was able to call BS on this one fairly quickly. He was upset about that and hasn’t responded since.

Instead of complaining about the problems you have in your life, start working to solve them.

Stop being so comfortable sitting on your couch talking about how the world is holding you down, you are holding you down – get up!

Stand up and start doing.

I know it’s cold, I know you’re tired, I know life isn’t easy I’m living it too. I have a full time job, am a full time student, father of 2, husband, blogger, and I workout – I fucking get it. But here’s the secret, I don’t talk about my problems, I just solve them and that’s why I’m able to do 4x as much as you with my 24 hours vice your 24 hours.

Stop going to bed early after watching TV shows for hours on Netflix. No, you don’t deserve that break and if you did, you wouldn’t be asking or convincing yourself, you’d know.

Stop being fat

Stop being lazy

Stop being weak

Stop being so god damned comfortable all the time, implement some Intentional Discomfort into your life.

You need to feel the pain of work and effort, you need to find comfort in the discomfort of living life as a masculine man

Time

Guys think they have all the time in the world to unfuck their situation. The fat say they’ll workout tomorrow, the poor say they’ll grind tomorrow, the weak say they’ll improve tomorrow.

What if tomorrow never comes?

Social media & technology have made people lose their appreciation of time. Time should be the single most cherished commodity we have in life as it is the most limited aspect of being alive. You never know when your string of life is going to finally unravel from the spool, yet people are living as though there’s no end in sight.

Time is like an angel – beautiful beyond measure & flying high. When people try to capture time, what they are doing is they’re grabbing the angel and cutting off its wings.

When you’re ‘capturing’ the moment on Facebook, not enjoying yourself but rather trying to promote yourself and show the world how great you are, you’re destroying the beauty of time, you’re destroying that moment.

When you say you’ll start your diet tomorrow, what you’re doing is you’re saying tomorrow is guaranteed and with that mindset you’re destroying the beauty of how short our lives really are.

Start living like you’re going to die, because you are. Start taking action in the now because tomorrow is never guaranteed to come for you. When you start living like your time on this Earth is limited, you’ll stop making excuses for your mediocre existence and instead will start living the life you want.

When you stop trying to capture and devalue time you’ll be able to recognize the beauty of it as it flies high with its wing. Enjoy that moment, stop trying to capture it. Immerse in watching that brief flight, before you know it it will be over and you’ll be the better person for watching the angel fly than you would if you were to just hold its lifeless and wingless body.

The time is going to pass either way and you are going to die, you might as well live.
Hunter

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Xmas & NYE

Give the gift you want to give, not the one they want to get.

Give the gift you want to give, not the one they want to get.

This is my second Christmas writing on TFA. (Here’s a link to last year’s Christmas post) I’m a huge fan of the Christmas season. I know it’s commercialized as shit, but there’s something about the music, the cold, the snow, the food, the parties. Especially Christmas day, I love seeing my kids eyes light up when they see the presents, my wife getting mad I spent too much money on her but under that scowl is her blushing and a beautiful smile. I love how people come together and if even for a brief moment, life is the way it should be without distraction from this or that. We give each other our undivided attention and listen instead of waiting for our turn to talk. I aim to make every day like Christmas day (sans presents) but Christmas Eve/Day are truly an amazing time and I hope everyone is able to feel this way in their own heart and mind.

Surviving Christmas

The holiday season is upon us yet again and a lot of family men will be attending Christmas & New Year’s Eve parties in the very near future. Managing kids, time between families, and the emotional state of your own family can become quite stressful, for those who don’t have a plan.

I have found the combination of two quotes to be the perfect blend of what goes on when preparing for the ‘joy’ of taking your wife and kids from place to place with hundreds of variables requiring your attention.

1)      Failing to prepare means you’re preparing to fail

2)      With the spontaneity of the world, planning is the most destructive thing you can do.

These two quotes are at complete odds with one another, yet they perfectly capture what it’s like to lead a family during the holidays, on vacations, when attending events such as a weddings, birthday parties, etc.

As the Family Alpha, you’ve got to have a plan while being aware that your plan is completely fluid & must be adapted to the moment to moment situations & scenarios you’ll face.

There’s going to be people who’ve drank too much, people who pry and ask too many questions, people who give the kids candy when you told them not to, kids who will do what kids do yet it’s amplified in your mind as you’re trying to keep everyone on their best behavior, etc.

Can you do me a favor?

Breathe – deeper.

Life’s good man, you’ve got your wife and your kids, it’s Christmas Eve, it’s go time. Have fun with it, relax and fucking immerse in the moments.

Your family needs you to lead them through the Holiday chaos.

Your family needs you to lead them through the Holiday chaos.

Start by getting everyone on the same page. Hey guys, we’re going to go to X, then to Y, then to Z. Do you know what that requires? Get a response from them, ensure they’re aware of what is going to be required. They aren’t fully going to follow through, but at least they’ll have some sort of framework built in their head as to what’s expected, much better than winging it.

Also, if your wife is onboard with your plan, let her know what obtacles you expect to face.

  • Drunk Uncle
  • Gifts
  • Timelines
  • etc…

Most importantly, remember to let your wife know what your end goal is.

Example: I’m going to have dinner with family. I’ve made it clear that before the dinner, I don’t give a fuck what we do or where we go so long as we have what we’re bringing food-wise ready and have everyone dressed on time.

My end goal is to be home at a reasonable time (Between 7-8) as my brother in law is coming over and it is a tradition that him and I (my wife’s brother) set the gifts out, drink, and just hang out until we pass out or the sun comes up. My wife hangs with us but she’s always the first one to knock out and I’ll either wrap her up with a blanket on the couch and party around her or tuck her into bed.

Letting her know my end goal makes my wife aware that we are not playing games, drinking too much, or doing anything after the dinner. This will help me as she will start gathering the kids while I start the good byes, we’ll be out the door on time together, no issues.

Tell your wife what it is you want from the party you’re going to. Do you want to mingle with everyone or just do touch and goes then get out?

You can’t get upset at your wife for talking too much, ignoring you, or not following your game plan if you haven’t made your vision the family’s vision.

If you are dividing time between families, recognize that you guys may not have the same desires, try to accommodate everyone as best you can, but if you wife wants to have dinner at X and you want to have dinner at Y – either split up and go where you want or don’t go to either and find a third option. Neither of you can force the other to go anywhere, if you do they’ll just pout and ruin your time at the place you wanted to go, destroying the entire point of being there.

It’s ok to do things without one another, in my family we wouldn’t as we stick together but for some, just do your own thing. My wife and I are touch and go people, we visit, say hello, small talk, and then roll out.

Christmas Day is easier, people make it hard.

Don’t write any covert contracts, No, the gift you got your wife is not going to inspire some sudden transformation & submission, it’s a gift and I hope you gave it to her because you wanted to give it to her and not because you wanted something in return as that’s fucking weak.

Don’t expect some amazing gift either, just enjoy the time and company with your family.

Surviving New Year’s

Make 2017 the year you discover and display the genuine self you keep inside.

Make 2017 the year you discover and display the genuine self you keep inside.

1. The best way to make it to midnight on New Year’s is to get some quality rest on the nights leading up to it.

The way I do this is to continue lifting during the whole Christmas excitement. You’ll want to play with your new things, you’ll be excited from all of the goings on, and you’ll be mentally feeding off the energy of the season. The best way to combat that, for me at least, is to physically drain myself to fucking true exhaustion. Deadlifts, Squats, Bench, etc. I fucking kill it, I go to bed because I physically have to. The quality of sleep I get is great.

The day of New Year’s Eve I don’t lift and I don’t eat many carbs as I don’t want to crash. It’s worked so far. Solid sleep the nights before arms me with the ability to go the distance the night of the ‘big show’.

2. Save the caffeine until right before you need it. Pounding coffee all day won’t give you energy to midnight, it will give you the shits. Have a cup of coffee an hour after dinner.

I’ve seen guys take RedBulls to the face, Monsters, etc. They always end up wrecked with an upset stomach, acting like an annoying hyperactive spaz, or if they’ve been drinking doing stupid shit faster.

If you can, lay off the caffeine from the 26 to the 30th, then the night of the 31st have a cup of coffee, should do the trick.

3. Chill with the booze. How many ‘Countdowns’ have you missed because you were blacked out drunk or passed out?

Masculine men maintain control - Don't get sloppy.

Masculine men maintain control – Don’t get sloppy.

I turn 30 in February, so maybe I’m getting old. But, drinking isn’t as fucking cool as it used to be. I’ve missed a lot of shit because I was either blacked out and don’t remember or I fell asleep from drinking too much.

I still drink, but not like I used to because I realized, drunk does not equal fun. I used to think more booze meant more smiles, that’s not the case and to be honest, it’s not very masculine.

Masculine men know their limit and they don’t cross it as they don’t ever want to lose composure and come across as sloppy. That’s one of the worst things you can be, that sloppy guy who slurs, spills shit, has swings of emotions, etc.

Be a man, limit your intake and set a slow pace throughout the night. Make it to midnight as the man walking among boys. While the rest fall out, show that you can go the distance, be the one who is still able to kiss his girl into the New Year.

4. Kids. They need a parent to not forget they exist just because a party is going on.

My kids are 7 & 4, they’re going to be bouncing off the wall with the energy of the environment. What my wife and I have done is limit the desserts people funnel them (knock that shit off, food does not equal love) and ensure that they are drinking more water than juice throughout the night. Hydrated kids who aren’t filled with sugar and processed shit will pass out with relative ease.

Tuck them into somewhere quiet yet accessible so you can hear if they get up, if you’re at a party or hotel or wherever that isn’t home, waking up in a new place can be scary.

After the ball drops and you kiss your woman, go in and kiss your babies. You don’t have to wake them, but don’t forget about them. It’s just a digit on a calendar which changes, but there’s something special about knowing you started the year with a kiss. I’ve kissed my wife and kids into the New Year for as long as I can remember, give yourself that Polaroid.

5. Recognize you might be cranky the next day. People staying up past their bed time drinking, dancing, singing, etc. That is a great night, it’s not always a great morning.

Red men go to bed late & rise early, there's no rest for the Wicked.

Red men go to bed late & rise early, there’s no rest for the Wicked.

When you do your morning negative visualizations, remind yourself that you’re going to run into some overtired people and you too may be a little more irritable than usual. Just like when your wife is PMS’ing, you’ve got to cater your approach to everyone. There’s no need to start 2017 with everyone going after each other’s throats.

Be the leader of your family, keep everyone cool and at a 2 (3 tops). You see someone rising to level 10, shut it down with a reminder of how awesome the night was and divert their attention away from the annoyance.

Keep all of this in mind and you’ll start the New Year out right.

Happy New Year’s,
Hunter

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The Phoenix

In order to rise from the ashes, you must first create them by burning the lie to the ground.

In order to rise from the ashes, you must first create them by burning the lie to the ground.

What I do on this blog is I try to help men see that there is a different way to live. I try to let them see through theory, personal example, and a fucking call to arms through electronic text that they do not have to accept the cards that have been dealt to them. I try to get men to flip the fucking poker table scattering those cards, Breaking the Mold, and realizing that they’ve been the one in control the entire time they just didn’t know it.

At some point, every emasculated man handed his power over to others in his life. This may have started at birth, I school when he was told his hyper activity was a negative/his competitiveness was a negative/his aggression was a negative, it may have started in high school with his first girlfriend while he tried to be the nice guy he was told women wanted, or it may have happened when he married his girl thinking that was his mission as a man.

It makes no difference when the power was lost, all that matters is that it is reclaimed – Now.

It’s time for you, the man reading this blog who has a tight feeling in your chest to make the decision to take it back. Yes, I am talking to you.

This isn’t a fun game for me, it’s very personal. I want more than anything for you to reclaim your true self and to stop hating your life and those in it. I want you to be happy and find joy in every moment you have, but I can’t fucking do it for you and as much as I wish I could, it wouldn’t work if I did. This has to come from the innermost depths of who you are as a man. You have to choose to embrace the ‘self’ you’ve repressed for so long. You have to commit from your core, from that fire inside which burns every now and then as it tries to escape before your repress it back down.

Your masculinity never left, it’s just been smothered under layer after layer of acts and statements which went against your true desire and feelings. Every time you did what you thought you were supposed to do vice what you wanted to do you Added Another Layer.

Recognize this, today could be your last day on this Earth; this morning could have been the last sunrise you’ll ever see, did you truly see it?

I get it. You’re pissed because your entire life was a lie – up to this point. The woman you loved, the friends you have, the family – they were all a part of this fucking machine which was designed with the sole purpose of stripping you of what makes a man a man, his masculinity.

Don't suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Don’t suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

I’ve received hundreds of emails from men who were near the end of their String of Life, do you recognize any of their stories?

You got divorced and your ex took your kids and your cash?

Your girlfriend lied, cheated, and broke your heart?

You woke up one day, looked in the mirror, and for the first time in your life thought of killing yourself?

Did your wife send messages to another man telling him she wanted to do things with him that she’s never done with you?

Do you have a void in your heart?

Self-hate in your mind?

Abusing substances to numb the pain of being who you are?

The list goes on, but you get my point, there are a lot of reasons to just say fuck it.

But, you found this blog, the manosphere, and have made the connections and come to the conclusion that all of this was your fault and it lit a fire in your heart, stomach, mind, and soul.

Good, let it burn.

The ashes are needed; the entire frame the world built and forced you into needs to be burned and swept into a pile of ash.

From that ash The Phoenix is going to rise.

You are that Phoenix. You are the man who is going to climb out of that pile of fucking disintegrated lies, comfort, the framework of others, betrayal, and expectations.

When you choose to burn it down and rise from the destruction you are choosing to face the raw, brutal, unforgiving nature of the world. Reality is not comfortable, you must find comfort in the discomfort of it.

Fly. Let your expression of masculinity act as an example for others to do the same.

Fly. Let your expression of masculinity act as an example for others to do the same.

You must choose to live and flourish in a society which hates you as a masculine man. Like the Phoenix you must take flight and recognize that there’s nobody in the world quite like you, you are powerful, you are focused, and you are Alone.

Create your own reality; rise from those ashes and build your own frame in place of the pre-existing one. Develop a sense of self, an identity that is forged entirely by your own hands. Do not use the previous example as a guideline, fuck that you do you. Whatever that new ‘you’ is, you need to fucking own it. You need to live a life that is genuinely yours.

Brother, I meant what I said, you may not live to see the New Year; I may not either. If I were to die after this post, I’d have no regrets. I have loved fiercely, lived hard, and immersed myself into the now throughout it all. There’s nothing left undone that I’m not ok with leaving undone, can you say the same?

I've chosen to hang Polaroids on my lifeline, have you?

I’ve chosen to hang Polaroids on my lifeline, have you?

Is there something you’ve wanted to say to someone?

Is there a place you’ve wanted to get to mentally, a place of joy or of truly loving yourself?

Is there a moment you’ve wanted to have with someone; a wife, friend, lover, family, child?

What is it that you’ve hidden from the world due to fear of judgement and being ostracized, do you want to share it?

Commit to this process and your life will never be the same. If you do choose to embrace your masculinity and rise from the ashes, you must Burn Your Ship on the shore, there is no going back, there is no retreat to your previous self – he’s ashes and you are no longer the ‘him’ everyone else created. You are now the ‘self’ you choose to become…

Fly like the Phoenix, reclaim your position in the world as the King of all Beasts. There’s no reminiscing, the past is gone and you do not have enough breathes left in your life to sit around angry at what could have been. Let the ash blow away in the wind, you’ve got work to do.

Live now, live hard, and live fiercely,

Hunter

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YMMV

Your Mileage May Vary, it is a phrase that I have seen often enough in the Manosphere, but never has it been so profound than when I was forced to face the fact that maybe I don’t bring it up the point enough. I was giving a guy some advice on the MarriedRedPill subreddit and I saw this quote:

Don’t be tempted to look for problems that aren’t there. Don’t just go with the flow of “she’s a bitch” that you hear so often around here. Yes, AWALT, and yes, most of the men on here have shitty, entitled, shallow, western wives; we have a good cross section of culture here. But some are less shitty, entitled, and shallow than others. The phrase “YMMV” is the most understated one around these parts.” – Alphabeta49

Nobody else in the entire thread had mentioned it, I hadn’t thought it, and the original poster may not be aware that everything he is reading is anecdotal, biased, personal opinion advice. While I assume every man is aware of this, I’ve learned the hard way never to assume anything and assuming was exactly what I was doing.

After I read that quote from AlphaBeta49 I took my hands from the keyboard and sat back like, Fuck, he’s right this guy has to remember that this is his life and the choice must be 100% his.

Your relationship with your wife is as unique as a snowflake (unlike your wife)

Your relationship with your wife is as unique as a snowflake (unlike your wife)

We all have a unique relationship with our wife. Reading my blog or the other forums and blogs on the Manosphere will arm you with more information than you could have ever hoped for at any other point in history. We have everything we need at our finger tips. The issue I am seeing and am addressing in this post is that you need to take that information and apply it to your specific situationI have written about what works for my wife, what her kinks are, what kind of environment I’ve fostered, and how I parent. None of this has been written for you to ‘copy’ action for action and word for word the applied to your marriage. I created all of this content without any template. There was no Manosphere when I was married. I didn’t have TRP, MRP, no Rollo, or illimitable man it was just me knowing what I wanted and then working to get it.

That’s what I want you to recognize, you have to lay your own foundation and take the advice as a sort of recommendation and not a specific direction. Your wife is a beautiful, sexy, feminine creature – until you recognize that and remove the ‘harpy, nagging bitch’ labels and resentments you’ve made – you’re never going to understand what she is capable of. Here are a few factors I want you to think about when you see ‘success’ stories online.

  • Your failed performance
  • Your wife’s history
  • Your mission in life
  • Personal Kinks
  • Responsibility

Your failed performance

One of the first things you need to factor in to getting the most from The Red Pill is assessing where you have failed to lead and to live a masculine life. It isn’t until you remove your ego and take a look at reality, a look at where you have fucked up and are continuing to fuck up your life, marriage, and ability to pursue your mission as a man. Only when you can see your shortcomings will you be able to overcome the damage you’ve done. Basically, you need to stop digging down – dig up!

If you have failed to keep up your physique, hit the gym. This is actually one of the universal laws of The Red Pill as well as step #1 to taking ownership of your life and ‘self’, you must lift heavy weights. This is not just for the aesthetics either – it’s for the confidence, discipline, destruction of instant gratification and development of appreciating long term commitment and hard work.

If you have failed to maintain your fashion sense (or you never had one) it’s time to develop your style. How you go about this is up to you. Find someone you respect and emulate their style until you find your own. Don’t copy anyone; we need voices, not echoes in the Manosphere.

If you have failed to lead your woman and/or children, start inserting yourself into those decisions. If your wife asks, “What do you want for dinner?” Give an answer, give your honest answer and skip the fucking ‘I don’t know/care’ routine, it’s weak and both your wife and all the masculine men you know are sick of it. The same applies to your professional life, finances, and mission in this life start taking ownership of all of it.

Your wife’s history

If your wife was on the CC before you got to her, so be it. At some point you didn’t give a fuck and put a ring on her finger. Don’t expect her to fuck you the way she fucked ‘them’. You have to get over your ego and any resentment you hold over her past, she is your wife and if you want the best from your wife you’ve got to cater your message in a manner that will get her on board and supporting your growth and decision to take charge of your clan.

If you fuck this step up and take the approach of ‘I’m the man and I am in charge’ after being a weaksauce fuck for x many years – you are going to have a woman who is going to fight you tooth and nail because she does not respect you, she does not agree with/understand your vision, and ultimately she does not trust you to be able to handle the role of the Family alpha, Leader, King, etc. She views you to be a weak bitch she resents and she will continue to view you this way until you go back to your role as beta bitch or your marriage ends.

How do you most effectively and efficiently reclaim your role as the leader of your family? You gradually, with your wife, go over your vision and game plan for your clan. You let her know that you recognize that you were a fucking pussy and that you are done being that type of ‘man’. It doesn’t have to be some sort of ‘Coming to Christ’ moment with all sorts of dramatic one liners and shit, just let her know that you see what is going on and that you are going to fix it. Let her know what your goals are for your ‘self’, the finances, the direction the family is headed. Make her a part of your team, boost her ego if you need to in order to get her on board. You can say you’re glad she was able to step up when you lost your way and that you’ll ‘reward’ her behavior by giving her a husband all the other ladies are drooling over.

Make it fun, make it a ‘team operation’ and most importantly, make sure you are playing towards the history you have with your wife. You know what she likes and what she hates, cater the message and your vision to accommodate those things. Don’t be afraid to make her angry, but if she has always had a hard time with finances, don’t go in guns blazing telling her it’s her fault the finances are fucked, because all of the failures are yours. Remind yourself of that when you want to rage at her or your kids, they are fucked up because you failed to lead them and make them better.

Kill the ego.

Your Mission in life

Your wife cannot be your mission in life, neither can your kids, your family, or your friends. You are the only one you will spend your entire life with. You are the only one you can count on, no matter what; and you are the deciding factor on how much you get from this life.

When we say, YMMV that includes when we discuss following our mission. I could tell someone that they could sacrifice sleep to achieve their goals. To me, that means sleeping 4 hours a night in order to reach deadlines, for someone else, that may not be enough. Instead of writing to me telling me I’m going to ‘lose my gains, crash my car, be unproductive & not mentally capable of writing’ (real messages I’ve received) you could just cater the message to your own situation. Instead of aiming for my four hours, figure out your own means of better managing your time.

How far you get on this road of life is entirely up to you.

How far you get on this road of life is entirely up to you.

Just because others were able to lift, read, and write at the same time you may not be able to do that, so slow down and take the smaller, yet permanent steps. If you can only read 20 pages a night, so be it. This is your mission, walk your path. If you aren’t into lifting weights or men’s fashion, then cater the goals to what your mission is.

Maybe you want a ‘climber’s body’, or maybe you want to be a painter, or maybe you don’t give the slightest of fucks about fashion. You Do You, just remember that you need to cater the message, not ignore it.

You have to care about your physique and you have to care about your clothes. The world judges you on your looks and so does your wife. You don’t need designer labels, you just need a functional wardrobe that has ‘purpose’. If you are just wearing shitty graphic T’s and sweatpants, what message is that sending? Each piece of clothing should have purpose in the same manner that every lift should be done with purpose.

What is your purpose in life? What is your mission?

Personal Kinks

I’m not going to beat around the bush on this one. There seems to be two benchmarks from which ‘success’ is measured when discussing sex in marriage.

Blowjobs and Anal.

You need to understand something right now – Your kink is for you. If your wife never gave you blowjobs or anal prior to you uncovering TheRedPill, there is no guarantee that she will after. Some women have shitty gag reflexes, others think fucking in the ass is disgusting or that their ass is an exit only = whatever the reasoning is, your kink may not be the same as your wife’s and vice versa.

While fantasies may differ, a sexually active relationship is a win for everyone.

While fantasies may differ, a sexually active relationship is a win for everyone.

Recently I spoke with a guy who was having a hard time after his wife told him that she wanted a MMF threesome. He was distraught, emasculated, and paranoid thinking his wife wanted some other man.

I told him that if he were to judge his wife or make her feel embarrassed, then she will never share her inner most ‘self’ with him again. I recommended he read my post Creating Your Slut and to recognize that it was on him to own everything about his wife, to include her kinky nature. I didn’t recommend he have the MMF as there is no fucking way I’d let any man touch my wife, but I told him to know that she has fantasized and found him to be ‘man’ enough to handle that information. He messaged me after saying that he implemented a few ideas from my post 10 ways to keep your wife on her toes and he was able to grow his relationship sexually with his wife: win-win.

If your wife is like mine, she may not view anal to be her #1 choice, but she will do it from time to time because I want it and she wants to please me. Your wife may not enjoy your own personal kink, but you can get her to at least giving it a try, if you’re good enough.

Responsibility

It is 100% your responsibility to figure out your mileage. Cater every post on TRP & MRP to your situation and know those whom you lead. Know your wife and use that knowledge to your advantage. TheRedPill is accurate, it ‘works’, and the application is universal. The RedPill doesn’t fail, you do; it’s your poor application that leads to your poor results. If you want to get the most from your journey to Masculine living, you must be a voice, not an echo – you must cater the message to fit the people you are dealing with.

Acta, Non Verba,

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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