The Shame

You were supposed to be a King; it was never supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be a King; it was never supposed to be like this.

I was recently asked how a guy who was ashamed to show his body was supposed to start hitting the gym. This guy was a father, husband, and man who truly wanted to reclaim his masculine ‘self’ yet was too embarrassed and ashamed to take that first step out into the world. Like Quasimodo who was more comfortable in his tower this man chose video games over social exposure because that was what kept him comfortable and safe.

This post is for the men who suffer that crippling fear of judgement; those self-defeating thoughts that they’re too fat, too ugly, and too weak to achieve what they see others achieving online, in movies, on Twitter, and all over the internet. Those guys can do it because they’re luckier, richer, had easier lives, etc…

These men know that the excuses they’re using to justify why others are taking action while they remain stagnant are total bullshit, but it soothes the wound to the ego temporarily and it buys them time to do something else to distract them from reality; Netflix, Video Games, Computer, Phone, etc…

These men fear venturing into the world because they fear being ostracized and they can get over that absolutely overwhelming and crushing shame in what their body & mind have become.

They let fear of judgement overcome desire to improve; to quote Mark Baxter, “Their level of disgust in themselves has yet to exceed the desire to do nothing”.

With permission I’m sharing a part of my email back to him:

It isn’t just your body which is weak, it’s your mind as well and that’s ok; because now you know you’ve got to pull your head out of your ass and start living. You aren’t getting a ‘re-do’ on life. My blog is just a bunch of words; it’s your application of them which I’m writing for. 

With all of this said, I won’t tell you to find motivation in your kids or your wife, I’m going to tell you to find motivation in yourself because if you don’t believe in you, then why should anyone else? If you don’t believe in you then why should those you are leading believe in themselves?

Your kids follow your example, not your advice – they see when you keep the shirt on and when you are ashamed of your body.

There’s been enough of that in your life; too many days, weeks, and years have been spent doing it that way.

It’ time for a change brother, own it. Start having a blast and who gives the slightest fuck if someone looks, comments, or whatever – become unshakable and own this life.” – Hunter

The Shame

Men are told that if they followed this set path of don’t make waves, be nice, and share their feelings that they’d ‘get the girl‘ and their life would be set. They’d be the King of their castle, their wife would submit to their lead, and their children would sit around them absorbing the aura of masculinity being let off by their father.

That’s not reality and more men are finding this out day by day.

I’ve made it a point to consistently push the message that lifting weights is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculine nature. What I’ve failed to address is how does the man who does not currently have the confidence to show his body at the gym take this step?

Before I answer it’s important to place yourself inside the mind of the ashamed man. Try to look at the world through his perspective and if this seems eerily familiar, recognize that this may be you.

The men who recognize something is wrong are the ones who start looking for answers. They have a void in their heart and an incredible sense of self-hate growing; this leads them to turning to Google or some form of social media to figure out what the problem is. They’ll stumble across the Manosphere, The Red Pill, or Married Red Pill subreddit and read for hours, sometimes days.

They’ll come out of this journey awakened to the fact that:

  1. The comfortable world they’ve been living in is a lie & now they’re uncomfortable.
  2. They are the source of their problem; not the excuses they’ve used up to this point.
  3. They have to do more to achieve more; their life of ease has to be destroyed and that’s a difficult thing to let go of.

These men now know that they’ve got to take action. Every other post they read contains a variation of, “Do you even lift Bro?

The issue is, they don’t know how to lift. More importantly, they don’t have the confidence to go somewhere or the discipline/finances to do it alone at home.

Gentlemen, I’m telling you now, you’ve suffered long enough. How many more days, weeks, years are you going to be the man who:

  • Is at the beach wearing shirts, sitting on the towels or wading deep enough into the water so you can squat low enough to hide your body under the water?
  • Can’t run around with your kids because you can’t run?
  • Is trying to take up as little space possible and remain unnoticed when you attend parties or functions?
  • Only feels the slightest sense of relief when you’re eating and at home yet when you’re done and see the empty soda bottles and pizza boxes feel disgust and more self-hate than you did before?
  • Cries when in the shower, driving home from work, or when you’re in bed next to your woman who won’t even consider touching your dick?
  • Contemplates suicide or eating yourself into an early grave while hiding in your ‘safe’ cave at home?

I get it brother, you feel those black clouds will forever hide that light you once felt as a young man; that masculine fire which burned so hot when you had passion for life has been snuffed out.

I’m telling you now, so long as you don’t give up on you, there is still hope for you to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. You have to act, you have to look deep inside one more time and give your masculine self one more shot. Except this time you have the words of Hunter Drew giving you fuel, telling you to Burn your motherfucking ship on the shore as there is no retreat, you’re going all in this time.

No longer will you eat to feel comfortable, no longer will you masturbate when your wife goes to the store, no longer will you sit while your child runs…

The shame you carry runs to your core. That’s how deep change is going to have to happen. Layer by layer you’re going to have to strip away the ‘make-up’ you’ve been putting over your true self. You’re going to have to stop living like a clown and start living like a genuine man.

When that raw genuine masculine skin first hits the surface it’s going to burn. Your friends and family are going to shit test you, your wife is going to think this is just another one of your attempts to ‘man up’ just like last New Year’s, your muscles will hurt from use and your mind will hurt from withdrawals from the sugar, porn, and other toxins that will eventually clear out.

What actions do you have to take to turn life around, reclaim your masculine nature, and develop a genuine sense of self before you’re able to hit the weights?

It starts with a conversation. It starts with taking the action of sending a message to an individual whom you connect with. Maybe you email me, maybe you email another member on the Manosphere, but you have to start the process by simply taking the action of giving enough of a shit about yourself that you swallow your pride, kill your ego, and reach out for help.

From there, you have to listen. That person, if they’re willing, is going to give you advice on how they succeeded. You’ll set goals, you’ll be held accountable, and there will be expectations that you uphold your end of the bargain.

Time is the most valuable asset we have, the masculine man you find worthy of filling the role of ‘mentor’ will not dedicate his time to a man who does not truly above all else, want to reclaim his life.

Be that man and burn the ship, it’s now or never brother.

Reach out and rid yourself of the shame that has plagued you for too long.

-Hunter
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The Void

Don't suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Don’t suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Are you a man that is living a lifestyle which somehow doesn’t feel quite right?

Do you feel as though there is this void, this sense of missed satisfaction and incomplete daily regret?

If you fall into this category, understand that you aren’t alone. The sense of missing something is shared by thousands, if not millions of men out there. It’s not just the married guys either; single dudes, guys in LTR’s – they all have this fucking void that they can’t fill.

I’m letting you know right now that this feeling of emptiness and this feeling of being ‘weighed down’ is a direct result of repressed masculinity. The feeling of having a weight vest on, one that prevents you from taking actions, telling jokes, achieving goals, and just barely allowing you to keep your head above water; these are the symptoms suffered by men who repress their masculinity and it isn’t going to get any better until you do something about it.

For the guys who just discovered the manosphere, it’s not your fault; the cards were stacked against you; from birth your reality and frame were stripped of you. Your life was molded by society and the white knight fucks supporting the female imperative. They gave you that mold with the warning: If you think outside this box you are wrong, ungrateful, pathetic, and weak – stay inside this box, keep your picture in this frame, and DON’T EVER CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

Sad, but true.

For the guys who have discovered the manosphere and still continue to push back against the plight faced by yourself and your fellow men, you are a fucking disgusting gender traitor. I know it sucks to have your reality shattered the way The Red Pill does so efficiently, but it is still the truth and you must find comfort in this discomfort.

Even when you fight back saying ‘masculinity’ is how guys compensate, or what the fuck ever you still know the truth and no matter how bad you want to go back to how things were when you were a comfortable nice guy, you’ll never be able to hide from the strings you see controlling the system. Men who see the truth yet continue to choose their comfortable lie still have a void, though they’ll never admit it as their ego cannot allow them to do so.

The void where regret, indecisiveness, sadness, and self loathing fester and grow is surrounded by a wall that was created by those who are looking out for themselves. The people who say you shouldn’t be confrontational, that you shouldn’t express your true desires, that you should take it all, bottle it up, and shove it deep inside – those people aren’t following that advice, they want you to do it because that supports their goals.

Here are a few truths:

  • You will never get the best of your life or your women until you accept the truth, embrace who you are as a man, and live an irrationally confident lifestyle. You have to love her the way you want to love her, not the way you think she wants to be loved.
  • You will never fill that void until you find a way to love who you are as a man. To love who you are requires you to break the mold. For guys who get it this is natural, these are the guys who are able to stand in front of a group of people, tell a joke which lands flat, lay out a witty remark, and continue to smile and grab a drink. Other men would sulk, think deeply on why the joke sucked, and the rest of the night they would be lost in their head thinking of where they went wrong and why nobody likes them. Do you see the difference? A man is happy and confident no matter what.
  • You will go to your death bed with regrets if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and start completely immersing yourself in the moments of life all the while expressing your masculine nature vice repressing it. Starting creating moments vice numbing yourself weekly with booze, TV, and scrolling on your phone looking at girls from your high-school days.
  • You cannot fill this void with any object or a woman. No female or item in the world will fill the hole your ‘genuine self‘ belongs in.

The last point is probably the most heart wrenching in my eyes. If you do not find your ‘self’ you will look back on your entire life wondering why you squandered your most precious gift away, your time. You’ll go to your deathbed with regret, wishing, “If only I could go back to when I read that post on that blog. If I had just started that day I’d of achieved so much and experienced a world of joy.

I look at the guys who are asking for help and just want to throat punch them through the screen. There are men on TRP & MRP who are looking for other men to support their decision to stay with their repetitively cheating lady; as if their world would crumble if somehow that one relationship didn’t work. If she is cheating you probably deserve it and the relationship is most likely already dead, move the fuck on and get over your relationship PTSD.

The same can be said for the guys who want to know what decisions they should make in their lives. Gentlemen, it’s your life, read the posts, blogs, and books then make the decision you feel is best going to get you to where you want to be. You have to stop making excuses to justify your mediocre existence and performance up to this point and instead claim ownership and start taking actions.

In all of these cases we see men who don’t know where they want to be, they don’t know who they are so therefore how can they plan and act in accordance with reaching that end goal?

This is why it is so oft repeated it’s about YOU. You have to know who you are and what it is you want from this life. Do you know how you find out who you are?

  1. You Lift
  2. You Read
  3. You Listen
  4. You Act
  5. You Observe
  6. You Change
  7. Disregard the un-essential

In each of these moments you will discover something about yourself. You will see where you stand physically, mentally, socially, your level of confidence, and that you aren’t perfect which is great because there is no fun to be had if there is no room to grow.

Fill that void gentlemen, stop wasting your precious time with the feeling of regret that I know creeps into your mind at night, during rides to work, and while you are alone. That isn’t how life should be lived. You do not need your wife, your house, your kids, your money, or your car – you need you.

Once you realize that if everything were to be stripped away and you’d still smile – only then can you start taking actions and leading others towards where it is you want everyone to be without the fear and void that plagues so many of our brothers. Then and only then, will your rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and soar to your greatest masculine potential.

If you are struggling in silence & only see it getting worse, please email me: TheFamilyAlpha@Gmail.Com

-Hunter
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Excuses

Stop making excuses as to why you're wasting your time before it runs out.

Stop making excuses as to why you’re wasting your time before it runs out.

The saying goes, “Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

This is something I’d like you to recognize and truly wrap your mind around. Everyone makes an excuse as to why they can’t do the things they need to do. Only a very select few people out there are making excuses to do the things they need to do.

Ask yourself these questions and see if you can come up with an answer that isn’t complete bullshit which you know to be a lie you tell yourself to justify mediocre performance.

  1. What excuse do you have for not gaming your wife these past few years? Why don’t you treat her like a lover anymore yet expect her to act like one?
  2. What excuse do you have for plugging your kids in front of a screen day after day; refusing to put your phone away and educate, play with, or lead them?
  3. What excuse do you have for the weight you’ve put on?
  4. What’s your excuse for giving your time and attention to those who are not worthy; hanging with deadbeat friends who do nothing but complain and waste your time with booze or pot?
  5. What excuse do you have for how weak you have become physically, spiritually, & mentally?
  6. What is your excuse for all of the times you didn’t speak up and tell the world how you truly felt because you’d rather play it safe and not make waves; making yourself like everyone else in an attempt to be accepted by them?
  7. What’s your excuse for putting everyone ahead of yourself?
  8. What’s your excuse for letting society tell you what you should like, how you should act, and what you should accept?
  9. What’s your excuse for rewarding failure time and again?
  10. What excuse do you have for repressing your masculine nature?

People will make an excuse as to why they didn’t go to the gym, yet the winners out there are making excuses to go to the gym.

When is the last time you said, “Hey man I’m going to be late to your (insert event) because I need to hit the gym.”? When is the last time you made the decision to not go to bed but rather stay up late because you had to knock some project out?

The issue we have is that of too much comfort and too little appreciation of time.

Comfort

People have become so fucking comfortable that they’d rather suffer a mediocre existence than put in the slightest effort required for improvement. People choose to complain and seek validation through those complaints instead of just shutting the fuck up and putting in the work.

I had a husband email me talking about how his wife refuses to follow his lead and that they have a deadbedroom. I found out he was fat. I asked him why he thought his wife would want to fuck a fat dude. He went on to explain through 6 paragraphs how a knee injury from high school football (when he was really cut and strong of course) prevented him from lifting weights, running, etc.

I’m 4 classes away from my MS in Exercise Science, I was able to call BS on this one fairly quickly. He was upset about that and hasn’t responded since.

Instead of complaining about the problems you have in your life, start working to solve them.

Stop being so comfortable sitting on your couch talking about how the world is holding you down, you are holding you down – get up!

Stand up and start doing.

I know it’s cold, I know you’re tired, I know life isn’t easy I’m living it too. I have a full time job, am a full time student, father of 2, husband, blogger, and I workout – I fucking get it. But here’s the secret, I don’t talk about my problems, I just solve them and that’s why I’m able to do 4x as much as you with my 24 hours vice your 24 hours.

Stop going to bed early after watching TV shows for hours on Netflix. No, you don’t deserve that break and if you did, you wouldn’t be asking or convincing yourself, you’d know.

Stop being fat

Stop being lazy

Stop being weak

Stop being so god damned comfortable all the time, implement some Intentional Discomfort into your life.

You need to feel the pain of work and effort, you need to find comfort in the discomfort of living life as a masculine man

Time

Guys think they have all the time in the world to unfuck their situation. The fat say they’ll workout tomorrow, the poor say they’ll grind tomorrow, the weak say they’ll improve tomorrow.

What if tomorrow never comes?

Social media & technology have made people lose their appreciation of time. Time should be the single most cherished commodity we have in life as it is the most limited aspect of being alive. You never know when your string of life is going to finally unravel from the spool, yet people are living as though there’s no end in sight.

Time is like an angel – beautiful beyond measure & flying high. When people try to capture time, what they are doing is they’re grabbing the angel and cutting off its wings.

When you’re ‘capturing’ the moment on Facebook, not enjoying yourself but rather trying to promote yourself and show the world how great you are, you’re destroying the beauty of time, you’re destroying that moment.

When you say you’ll start your diet tomorrow, what you’re doing is you’re saying tomorrow is guaranteed and with that mindset you’re destroying the beauty of how short our lives really are.

Start living like you’re going to die, because you are. Start taking action in the now because tomorrow is never guaranteed to come for you. When you start living like your time on this Earth is limited, you’ll stop making excuses for your mediocre existence and instead will start living the life you want.

When you stop trying to capture and devalue time you’ll be able to recognize the beauty of it as it flies high with its wing. Enjoy that moment, stop trying to capture it. Immerse in watching that brief flight, before you know it it will be over and you’ll be the better person for watching the angel fly than you would if you were to just hold its lifeless and wingless body.

The time is going to pass either way and you are going to die, you might as well live.
Hunter

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Negative Visualizations

When I was 5 years old my mother committed suicide. This left my father to raise me and my 3 year old twin brother/sister on his own. My dad was a Navy man; always in and out then deploying. He needed a caretaker so we went to live with my grandmother.

She was a strict woman who lived through the Great Depression. As I grew up she instilled discipline, a ‘never quit’ work ethic, and appreciation. It’s the appreciation aspect I’m writing about in this post, as losing my mother and not having a father around combined with the instruction from my Grandmother created a man who has learned to truly immerse in and appreciate each moment.

The Red Pill introduced me to Stoicism and Stoicism introduced me to Negative Visualizations. Negative Visualizations was a mental tool I naturally developed, but learning it had a name enables me to relay the message a little more clearly to others.

I start every morning by waking up and taking a moment to think on and inventory my life. I do this through performing negative visualizations immediately after waking up. I visualize that my wife and kids die on this day. I let the pain fully wash over me, I feel it in my heart, my mind, and my entire ‘self’. Then, I slowly bring myself back, I dial my mind in and remind myself that my wife is next to me, breathing softly, beautiful as ever. I remind myself that my kids are asleep in their beds, innocent, pure, and alive.

I get out of bed, do the morning routine, and before I leave I always tell my wife and kids that I love them, because I do and I’m aware of how lucky I am to still have them in my life. Kissing your child’s forehead means more when you know it could be the last time.

I appreciate each moment with them more because I’ve made myself feel the pain of losing their presence in my life.

Life is not guaranteed, yet people live as though they have all the time in the world.

In my post Intentional Discomfort I wrote about removing comforts from your life so you truly appreciate them. Warm water, your phone, your bed, etc.

It isn’t practical to ‘remove your wife and kids’ so you have to do it through a sort of ‘thought experiment’. Remove them in your mind, remove their smells, their smiles, their voices and laughs, all of them. Immerse in the void you create in your heart, soak in the abyss and feel the pain. Now, bring them back to life. 

Tell me that this doesn’t make you smile just a little bit more when you see them. Tell me that it doesn’t make you want to put the phone down and get on the floor with your kid and play.

We’re so caught up in the hustle of modern living that we are getting distracted from what matters most, the time we have with those we love.

This goes beyond family; I perform negative visualizations with every day life. I’ve visualized my wife cheating, I’ve visualized being doxxed, I’ve visualized getting fired, I’ve visualized crashing my Jeep, etc.

This prepares me for the moment when something does happen I’m not caught off guard, unable to cope or perform. I’ll have a rough game plan as to what I need to do because I’ve already played it out in my mind.

Don’t get it twisted, I don’t mope around all day thinking of terrible things that could happen. Just recognize that you should periodically immerse in a shitty scenario and ensure you’ve got the fortitude to not only handle it but rather come out on top.

I love my wife, if she were to cheat I’m ready for it and will survive.

I love my children to death, but if they were to die I’ll know I gave them everything and that I was in all of our moments together.

I’ll go to my deathbed without regret because I make sure I appreciate the moments I have with those I love. I Hang my Polaroids and I prepare myself mentally to react to the chaos that we call life.

The ancient Stoics had it right, if you’d like to read more on Stoicism here are my recommendations:

 Letters From a Stoic: Seneca

 Marcus Aurelius: Meditations

The Discourses of Epictetus

 The Enchiridion: Epictetus (Shortened version of Discourses)

 A Guide to the Good Life: William Braxton Irvine

 The Obstacle is the Way: Ryan Holiday

I’ve read all of these books and each has added to my ‘mental toolbox’. We need to remind ourselves that we need to be as equally strong in our mind as we are in our body.

Developing this mental strength requires training and negative visualizations are one such exercise which will lead to a stronger, more fortified masculine mind.

Hunter

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The Burden of Family

Nick Kelly recently released a Podcast [Listen Here].

In the Podcast he answers the question as to whether he’ll get married or into an LTR and have kids. He says(paraphrased), “no, not now – possibly not ever.” He then goes on to discuss how he puts work before all else and all of the married men & fathers he knows have lost their fire.

When I heard this I nodded in agreement as having a family does reduce a man’s output. I let the thought go and listened to the rest of the audio clip which conveniently ended right before I finished my commute from work.

I didn’t come back to this topic until I was laying down with both of my kids. I had intended to work on editing the TFA book, but both my son and daughter came up to me right before I was going to put them down for a nap (we had a late party to attend that night) and they asked if we could have a ‘family nap’(think Willy Wonka’s grandparents, everyone in the bed nappingbasically I’ll nap with them, one on each side – me in the middle.

My immediate instinct was to say “No” as I had edits to do, but I thought of all the other times where I’ve said No the past 2 weeks because I was studying for finals, knocking out assignments, writing posts, etc.

So I said, “Yes.”

While lying there I thought of Nick Kelly’s point on Work. I was also thinking of how there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be than laying on that bed with both of their little heads on my chest listening to them lightly snoring, in rhythm. I thought of how choosing to nap with them over editing was me placing the ‘work’ I had to do with them over the work I had to do on the book.

I caught myself thinking of this/that and intentionally forced myself to immerse in the now. Hearing their snores, their soft hair, the warmth from their little bodies, my mind was warmed by the comfort & joy that comes from knowing your kids still need you.

I won’t have these moments for much longer and that’s a sobering thought. My son is becoming a man, more and more independent with each passing day. Same with my daughter, I find her asking for help less and less with the passing months.

I chose this life; I purposely chose the grind of fatherhood knowing that by doing so, I’d become a less productive individual with regard to my own pursuits.

But that’s the point; their development, upbringing, and life experiences have become a part of my work.

This is an aspect of fatherhood & marriage that is lost on many men. They view their wife and kids as a burden, they think they would be better if only they were single.

This is a flawed mentality and it is where the FAMILY aspect of being a Family Alpha comes into play.

Nick Kelly can travel to anywhere at anytime he chooses. Illimitable Man can pump out a high workload of writing without having to worry about dedicating time to others. Some men view them with envy, wishing “if only I weren’t married with kids” as if their failure to perform has to do with their life status.

Married men and fathers, look upon your wife & kid(s) as fuel, not an anchor. Recognize that your role in life is different than the single guys out there. They can travel in a moments notice while you are raising the next generation of men and women who will raise the standard of masculinity and femininity in our society.

When you create a pathway to act as your son’s Rite of Passage you are doing your work as a masculine man. When you lead your wife to staying in shape, being a freak in the sheets, and allowing her to fill her feminine role you are doing your work as a man. Most of the work done by the Family Alpha’s out there is done in silence. We are the Silent Professionals of the Manosphere; the men who write on our blogs when the family has gone to sleep, in between activities with the kids, or while a wife is talking to us and seeking guidance.

We are the men who have to wake up earlier to get time alone and stay up later to get edits done. We make time to lift, read, and write while also leading a wife, educating our children, and ensuring the entire clan is truly living, getting the most of their days, and Hanging Polaroids.

We not only have to maintain our own standard but we must also maintain the standard of those whom we lead. Masculine men walk their path alone, stop looking at other men and comparing your life to their’s, because they aren’t looking over at you. Masculine men invest their time in improving themselves and putting in work, stop wasting time with the envy or playing the ‘if only‘ game. Single vs married vs parent with regards to masculinity is a fucking retarded comparison to make. Men aren’t more or less masculine because of their relationship status and whether they’ve reproduced or not. All that matters is the man alone, so stop looking for excuses as to why you aren’t performing as a masculine man should.

You’ve got work to do; married or a parent it makes no difference, you need to set the bar from which excellence will be measured. Take what you’ve got and make it the greatest it can be. Your wife and kid, they’re a part of your work as a man, so invest the time to lead them and don’t think for a second they are an acceptable excuse for your failure to perform; they’re a part of your performance.

Your wife is a reflection of your performance as a man, your Sons and Daughters are a reflection of your performance as a man. Your ‘self’ grows when you take on the responsibility of others (wife) or when you decide to create a life (Kids). They are now extensions of you and are equally important in regards to development and caring for as you would your ‘self’.

If you’re a FAMILY Alpha, then you need to view these extensions of self as motivation to push forward. You may not produce as much as you’d like, that’s fine as it shows you have hunger. Don’t let it get you down, instead let it be the fuel which causes you to rise to new heights. Family men are forced to be better with regards to time management. If you aren’t hitting your personal goal of productivity, take a look at how your normal day plays out and find the time sinks then remove them.

Sacrificing sleep may be necessary, just ensure you’re doing all of this for you and not because you feel you need to keep up with other guys. Do your thing and everything will be alright; never accept mediocrity, refuse to reward failure, and do not allow yourself to be come complacent. Periodically insert some Intentional Discomfort in your life and be objectively honest with yourself when you ask the question, “Am I really doing the best I can?”

Hunter

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Burn Your Ship

You must be fully dedicated to this process, how bad do you want it?

You must be fully dedicated to this process, how bad do you want it?

The most crucial aspect to reclaiming your masculine nature is committing to something with every fiber of your being. You have to want to improve and take responsibility for your life so bad that you’re willing to jump without knowing where you’ll land, you have to put yourself in a very vulnerable position where you’re either going to win or you’re going to get fucking wrecked.

This is the masculine way, this is how men commit to goals they are passionate about and what could you be more passionate about than saving yourself and taking control over the brief life you have on this planet?

It seems easy, yet can you remember the last time you did not back down to avoid confrontation? Many men can’t think of a time where they took an action or they took a stance, yet they left just a little bit of doubt or ‘self’ behind just in case they were wrong or needed to retreat. It’s a sad fact I’m not proud of, but I know men who have never stood their ground and committed & defended their stance or opinion on a matter – not once in their life have they planted their feet and refused to accept anything but victory.

Brothers, this is exactly what you must do when you make the decision to reclaim your masculine nature. You’ve got to go into that decision with everything you have, leaving nothing behind, no hesitation, doubt, or fear this decision is not one which can be made halfheartedly; you are in or you are out: all or nothing.

The guys who took the advice of the Manosphere and left saying it was bullshit are the guys who half assed their commitment to the act of becoming a man again. They can’t say the Manosphere is bullshit because what they did was not what the Manosphere told them to do. If you can’t commit to the program, then you never followed the program. It isn’t the fault of the masculine pipeline that you’re too weak or you’re too fucking afraid to let go of the system that has feminized you and kept you safe inside the mold it made for you..

The guys who don’t commit their entire ‘self’ to the transformation, they never make it. You have to be 100% ready to own your fucking life, if you give 80% it’s not enough. Leaving that 20% behind leaves 20% of you to fall back if times get rough. When you have an escape route, you’ll never commit 100% to the attack, you’ll never tap into that ‘do or die’ mindset and because of this, you’ll revert back to who you were.

This is it, you've committed & there's no turning back.

This is it, you’ve committed & there’s no turning back.

There is no retreat, there is no returning to who you once were. When you see the strings which control those around you, you can never unsee them. Understand that once you start the voyage to reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll never return to who you were, no matter how bad you want to. So choose to do something you haven’t done in years, something you’ve possibly never done in your fucking life – give every shred of who you are to the act of improving yourself, owning your life, and taking responsibility for where you are and what you have or have yet to achieve in this life.

It isn’t the fault of your mother, brother, wife, or friends. No, it’s your fault that you became weak, fat, and sensitive; if you want to make a change then you need to stop lashing out at those around you and recognize that you need to look inside and accept responsibility for all of it.

This is your fucking life, you are the only one who is with you for the entire ride. Now you need to dig fucking deep and find comfort in the discomfort of reality. When you calm the fuck down and you’re able to feel that fire growing inside I want you to turn inward, grab the spark of masculinity which is trying to break through and you fucking fan that flame until there is a god damn bon fire in your heart and soul – then you act.

You make one small act today, then another. Draw a boundary here, lead there, and challenge yourself over and over again. Sharpen your mind and as you progress your body will catch up. Make yourself hard, make yourself a leader, and in time you’ll make yourself a man again.

There is no going back, and this is why you must burn that fucking ship on those foreign shores. You will die here before you retreat home. You will win this battle against yourself or you will fucking die trying. If you quit or save that ship and use it to retreat, you’ll be left forever afloat in the abyss of what could have been – alone, depressed, resentful…

If you burn your ship on the shores of masculinity, you remove that disgraceful fate.

You have to stand your ground; you have to tell your wife and friends “No.” from time to time. When the whole world is telling you that they don’t like muscles and you should just have a little snack you’ve got to accept they are against your progress. They want you to do well, but never better than them. You’ve got to look at your wife and recognize she will never love you the way you love her.

You’ve got to set yourself up for success by removing the possibility of failure. There is no failure if you remain committed to who you are as a man. You marriage may fail, you may have to cut friends and family out of your life, and you may take a financial hit in the process, but none of that matters so long as you are pursuing your mission in this life.

I write, I write because if I don’t get these thoughts out of my head I will go mad. I need to release the pressure; I do it through this blog. When I don’t write & lift I feel anxious, irritable, frumpy, and unmotivated. That’s my thing. If I were to lose my wife, lose friends and family, and lose some net worth I would still write and lift. This is my mission and there’s no turning back from it.

You must find a reason to improve, a reason to embrace your masculine nature and place it above all else. It is this reason that you will return to time and again as the nights get cold and lonely. It is this reason that you get to the gym even though you’re sore. It’s this reason that helps you find the will to push forward when every other part of your body and mind are telling you to take a rest, to stay still…to stop.

For most men, this comes after the marriage has failed, they recognize right before divorce how much of a pussy they’ve been and now they’re going to do it different. They are going to live life on their terms because now they don’t have to answer to their wife.  What they miss and what I am trying to get you to understand is that you can take this action at any point in time. You’ve never needed your wife’s permission to live life as a masculine man.

You don’t need the permission of society, friends, or family to follow your mission in this life.

You are here to conquer, not to visit temporarily.

You are here to conquer, not to visit temporarily.

Make the decision to live life as a masculine male. Stop bottling up your desires and genuine nature, stop sitting on the fucking fence thinking, yeah, I’d love to have better sex but I don’t want to have to be mean to get it or yeah, I’d love to be a jacked guy but being fat is so much easier.

You fucking pussy, find your fucking balls and recognize that there will be times where you have to put yourself first and piss some people off and be UNcomfortable.

There will be times where you have to get up and go when all you want to do is sit or lay down.

There will be times where the truth of reality is so incredibly painful and disappointing and the comfort of the lie is such an easy choice…Brothers, you have to force yourself to continue to walk through the storm instead of finding shelter.

You must find comfort in that discomfort and you must do so with your full commitment. You are not only committing to being a masculine man but you’re also committing to never returning to the previous version of who you were.

Burn the ship, prepare to face your enemy and remember you have to win because there’s no other choice.

– Hunter

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The Walking Dad

The Walking Dads are growing in number day by day

The Walking Dads are growing in number day by day

I’d like to make it clear from the get-go, I have never seen a single episode of The Walking Dead. What I have seen is enough commercials and people who love to talk about it so I have an idea as to what the show is about. Keeping that in mind, when I think of The Walking Dead and try to relate it to the world we live in, what I envision is all of the fat men who are wandering around Target holding their woman’s purse. All of those brain dead Dadbod zombies who are going from consumption to consumption.

You know the cycle: Guy wakes up late, eats crappy food, consumes bitter coffee, climbs into vehicle and listens to commercialized music while heading to a job that he hates. He then does that job for 8 hours, wasting time scrolling on Facebook looking up girls from his high school days.

He then leaves his job, listens to shit music, gets home and has a sort of interaction with his family which kind of appears as conversation but absolutely nothing of substance is discussed.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

He then works his way to the television and it’s here he remains until it’s time for bed.

Then repeat – for years…

  1. At no point in this daily cycle does this man generate a thought of his own.
  2. At no point does this man think, “hey, something isn’t right.’ He might get the feeling, that hunch of ‘something’ being wrong, but like all of his masculine tendencies, he bottles that hunch up and shoves it deep down, way beneath his love for Lena Dunham.
  3. At no point does this man, who has had kids, think, “Maybe I should get involved in raising the standard of my children and their standard of life and self.” You see, his son has no idea how to be a man as his dad is more likely to support him dressing up like Hillary Clinton than teaching his that boys and girls are not equals and his daughter has had a toxic example of what relationships are supposed to look like for so long that she thinks in marriage the man is supposed to be a weak doting buffoon.

Gentlemen, we don’t need to watch a TV show on AMC to get our zombie fix. We have real world walking dead all around us.

It is with the greatest misfortune that a majority of these walking dead are walking dads. It is as though as soon as a man reproduces his brain becomes numb to any internal or external stimulus which will invoke passion or masculinity. It seems that the only motivation that sparks up is that of consumption. Dads consume baby gifts, TVs, Beers, cars, houses, shitty clothes, and gym equipment which is never used (If it’s bought at all).

Ask any father you know whether he has read to or with his kid in the past month and you’d be hard pressed to find one who can say yes.

Ask one of the dads you know if he has brought his son to the outdoors or a gym to teach him something about the world or the beauty of physical strength – I doubt you’ll get a yes.

Fathers have become fat & sad jokes of society - become the solution to this problem.

Fathers have become fat & sad jokes of society – become the solution to this problem.

Ask a man if he’s ever had a conversation with his daughter about the importance of strength and smarts as opposed to physical beauty for advancement in life – do you get crickets?

Now, ask the dads around you if they know who A is from pretty little liars. Ask them if they know all the lines from Family Guy or The Simpsons. Ask these men if they’ve got the newest phone or their wife has the best iPad and I’m sure they’ll be fucking pumped to tell you how fucking cool their gadgets are.

These ‘men’, they truly believe in the weak mantra of Happy Wife Happy Life

What can we do to fight these plugged in zombies?

Drop the cure of masculinity here and there via being a living example of what’s possible.

The solution to this epidemic is not to cut the heads off the zombies; but rather, to offer the cure. Some of these dudes are lost causes, do not expend too much energy on their behalf – if a man wants redemption, it won’t take much of a push as they’re already on the edge.

The cure for this zombie apocalypse is masculinity. Raw, powerful, lifesaving masculine power is what will cure these zombies, it’s what will kill the Walking Dad.

It’s not just fathers, but the point remains that married men with kids are the hardest hit group of men out there. They are the population I have found myself a part of (Married w/ kids – not walking dad), so it’s the group that has received the most of my attention. We need to act as examples and lay some lines here and there that inject the truth of reality into these lifeless souls.

Maybe it will enter the blood stream and cure the individual or maybe it will dissipate and the zombie will continue to live its perfect weak consumer lifestyle it has up to this point.

The consequences of being one of these ‘Walking Dads’ goes way beyond having a dadbod and being afraid of conflict.

The progression of demasculation

The progression of demasculation

Let me paint a few pictures to illustrate the vast range of consequences that come from being a part of the Walking Dads:

  • Dadbod zombie is walking down the street with his daughter who resents him, son who despises him, and wife who hasn’t been attracted to him for the past 5 years. They come across a group of thugs who view them to be easy pickings as the dad is an obvious pushover and the rest of the family is oblivious to the threat as they haven’t had a masculine leader to prepare them for the evil of the world.

Wife loses purse, husband and son get broken jaws, and daughter is traumatized from threats of thugs.

  • Hillary Clinton wins election and an entire city erupts in rage as the system is rigged and the population can no longer bottle their rage at this fact up, so riots rip through the city.

Walking dadbod doesn’t know what to do so he sits inside with his girls and cries by their side. Days go by and still, nobody assumes the role of leader to help the family out of this situation. They live in the city, the streets aren’t safe, the stores are closed, and it’s going to be another few days before it’s safe to leave their property. The family suffers, everyone is emotionally drained, and lack of preparation devastates the family.

  • Dadbod comes home to find his wife fucking another man. He is a poor boy who makes minimum wage, yet he is shredded and confident as fuck. Wife says, “What? I needed a real man and you haven’t fucked me in months.” Of course beta zombie husband has wanted to fuck her hard, but it never came to fruition as he was a nice guy and nice zombie men don’t force sex.

Now he tells her he will take her back and he is sorry for not being the man she needed (See: Cuck).

  • Walking Dad shuffles his soft fat ass into the Dr’s office where the family Dr. tells him that his heart is starting to fail and if he doesn’t take immediate action he is going to die before he’s 55.
  • Zombie man has to watch his kids play in the ocean while he wears a shirt, has to watch his family zip line while he hands out below, too heavy for the wires, and has to sit on the sideline while the rest of his family has amazing experiences because he lacks conditioning, strength, and is too heavy to go on any ride.

I could keep going, but I’ll stop because it fucking sucks to write this. This is the reality many men are facing and it’s fucking depressing. Too many men are nothing more than walking wallets to their wife and kids.

It’s time to make a change; gentlemen it’s time to take back what has been stripped of you – your fucking balls and masculinity.

Draw a line in the sand, today.

Fuck that, right now draw a line in the sand and say, “It ends here”

Who do you think you should be? Who do you think your wife wants?

Who do you think you should be? Who do you think your wife wants?

Start by refusing to reward failure, do not allow others to disrespect you or your opinion on certain matters – Make your voice heard.

From there, earn the loyalty and respect that is taken by masculine men. Get control over your nutrition, grow some muscles and strength by getting your ass under the iron. Start running and doing bodyweight exercises. Then add in some reading; remember, mental fitness is as important as physical so make time to train your mind while you’re training your body.

Unfuck your sex life; your wife is a woman and needs you to be a god damn man – step up. Sure, it sucks that you’ve been a doormat for the past X amount of years, but those years are gone so reclaim your role in this family in the here and now.

Would you fuck you? No? Then why do you think your wife should?

Would you fuck you? No? Then why do you think your wife should?

If you’ve made it this far then you are now presented with a choice. You can choose to reclaim your masculinity and live life as a real man or you can join the growing population of the Walking Dad – choose wisely; if you aren’t with masculine men, then you’re against them.

-Hunter

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Credible Sources?

How do you know who you can trust? You listen & then decide like a Man.

How do you know who you can trust? You listen & then decide like a Man.

There seems to be this notion on the manosphere that certain men in certain life situations are completely incapable of providing beneficial or constructive information.

I saw an engagement on Twitter between two men and it ended with one telling the other, “I’m not going to listen to your advice because you’re divorced”. Now, I’ll admit that divorced men have been the most ardent outspoken individuals against all things Family Alpha. It makes sense as these guys are divorced, they’ve experienced what happens when marriages fail and here I am talking about the heights men can reach while married. But I’ve never written a man off because he was divorced.

My message acts as a mirror that reflects their failed performance in their marriage and possibly in choosing the wrong woman to marry from the onset. Who wants to admit they fucked up? Who wants to admit that they could have had the type of relationship they desired if they had only gone into their marriage fully aware of their masculine self and in control of the frame of the relationship?

It sucks, but I get it.

The second largest group who challenge me on every point I make are the single guys who have been scorned by women. These guys are usually MGTOWS who are abstinent, which I think is completely fucking ridiculous as men who ‘Go their own way’ should embrace who they are as men and that means their sexual desire as well.

Fuck yeah, follow your passion/mission and pay no attention to women looking to get into a relationship. But god damn, continue to have NSA relationships. Men who completely cut women out of their life? I find that to be a huge red flag to the total development of the masculine self. It’s just another form of repressing their masculinity and we have enough white knights and feminists working against our expression of self, we don’t need men telling other men to hold it in too.

Both of these groups, while they are completely at odds with my message, have solid information and life experiences that everyone, including myself could benefit from.

Everyone we run into in this life acts as an example of what to do or what not to do. Every conversation and interaction is an opportunity to learn something about another as well as something about our masculine ‘selves’.

If you say that divorced men cannot provide any valuable information to you in your marriage just because theirs failed, you are a fucking pussy who is acting like a child. Don’t stomp your feet and say, “I’m not listening blah blah blah” it’s embarrassing for yourself as well as your girl.

She may tell you, ‘yeah fuck that guy what does he know his wife left him’ but on the inside, she knows you’re little temper tantrum just put you further into her frame.

The more men you cast away for not meeting your prerequisites of what qualifies one to provide advice will limit your sphere of information to where you only have those who agree with you talking; you’ll of created a group of yes men.

When you reach that point, the echo chamber acts as blinders preventing you from ever seeing reality. You’ll be stuck inside this little box you’ve created and that’s where you’ll stay until the fist of the real world cracks you across the jaw.

I’m a married man who does not promote marriage but rather helps those who are already married improve their standard of relationship with their ‘self’ and in turn this improves the relationship they have with their wife.

I could write a post on how men should lift to build their confidence and it would be met with conflict by some guys simply because I’m married. Not because of my information, but solely because I’m a married man and therefore I must be a cuck. This is an absurd notion and it’s going to cost guys some seriously important moments in their life where they could have, if they listened, learned some life lessons that would have enabled them to raise their own standard to new heights.

For example: I had a conversation with a wicked fat dude about nutrition. He was a registered dietitian who knew his shit. He advocated for Paleo style eating and could talk micro/macro bulk/cut for days – yet he was fat as shit. I asked him why he had so much extra weight if he knew how the body worked and how he could lose it. His answer was, ‘I get it, doesn’t mean I follow it’ that was good enough for me, I didn’t press the issue.

My point is, I learned a lot from that dude. If I had taken the stance that because he was fat whatever he said about nutrition would be a waste of my time I never would have had the beneficial discussion that I had with him – I never would have hung that Polaroid on my lifeline. We all need to stop shooting ourselves in the foot; give people the chance to prove their worth and if they’re fucking whack-jobs then move along. But don’t discredit them before they’ve opened their mouth.

I know divorced men and MGTOWS who’ve taught me all sorts of shit about embracing my masculinity and improving my marriage. I’m married with 2 kids, yet a MGTOW helped me with some parenting advice I’d asked for. I had a divorced guy explain how his marriage failed and steps I should take to avoid those pitfalls.

I could have easily written them off as failures and not the type of people I should be listening to. But I didn’t and because of that I had some valuable insight that improved my performance as a father, husband, and man.

I advise each of you to take a look at how you’ve been viewing your fellow man. Have you been immediately labeling married men as plugged in slaves? Have you looked at divorced men as failed leaders or MGTOWS as wastes of masculinity?

If so, you need to take a hard look at who you are as a man and ask yourself how quickly you could be written off. Life is short, you need to quickly decide on what good information is and what is bad. Don’t limit your chance for good information by discrediting the source before you even hear what they have to say.

We all walk our own path in this life, before you cut others out from walking the path next to you – hear them out and see what they have to say. Once you do that you can then judge them on the merit of their words and not the preconceived notion of who you think they are and what their worth is based on their relationship status.

-Hunter

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Stop being a Clown

You shouldn't be wering a mask year round' it ruins the fun of Halloween

You shouldn’t be wearing a mask year round’ it ruins the fun of Halloween

One of the most necessary actions a man must take on his journey towards reclaiming his masculine nature is to accept reality for what it is and not what he wants it to be.

You see, we all want the same thing. We want life to be easy, we want women to love us the same way we love them, we don’t want to have to deal with their hypergamous, dissociative, and solipsistic behavior. But that’s not our reality, so stop wasting your limited time and valuable mental energy on trying to change the way the world works. Shift your perspective, focus on embracing reality and finding comfort in the discomfort of masculine living in a weaksauce society.

It’s October 25th 6 days from Halloween, a time where people dress up and become something else for the night. Human, non-human, beast, a character from a show or movie – it doesn’t matter because on Halloween you can be anything and it’s all in good fun. At the end of the night, the mask comes off and you’re back to being who you for the rest of the 364 days of the year.

A few weeks ago the news was all about the creepy ass clowns that were terrorizing kids and people in towns across the US. This planted a seed in my mind, a seed that has nothing to do with these weaksauce fucks terrorizing kids instead of going to work. No, this seed grew and it brought me to the realization that while everyone else is only putting their masks on for this one holiday of the year, most married men are wearing a mask year round.

Blue Pill married men, the unmasculine population of our wedded brothers are living clowns.

Blue Pill married men, the unmasculine population of our wedded brothers are living clowns.

A clown wears makeup which paints on a permanent smile, whether he’s happy or not that smile is there. Beta husbands have put this makeup on their soul; they smile on the outside, but inside their heart and mind they are in pain, raging, struggling, confused, and alone.

Married men who’ve decided that once they had a ring put on their finger that they were no longer required to ‘man’ have become modern day clowns. We laugh at the dadbod, we have caricatures like Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson, Kevin James, and Phil Dunphy playing the fat dimwit schtick that married men have become. We have men saying, Happy Wife Happy Life and true cuckolds saying that their wives deserve better dick from someone else that can truly satisfy them. We’ve got men fighting for feminism and guys saying that men and women are equal in all aspects of everything….

There are groups of men in the manosphere who will say, “That’s why you don’t get married” and to a degree they’re right. But I write this blog because I’m not willing to write off the 30 million dudes who are married. Let’s say 10% of those 30 million guys are masculine dudes, that leaves 27 million clowns out there, crying behind their smile – saying yes when they mean no and I don’t care when they do care very much so about whatthefuckever. These are the guys who say divorce is not an option when the very nature of masculine men means divorce has to be an option because time and attention will not just be given, it must be earned and if a man’s wife refuses to be a woman of value, then she no longer deserves his time, attention, or commitment.

Gentlemen, if you’ve recently discovered The Family Alpha, TRP, MRP, or any of the other Manosphere blogs then you need to punch your ego in the mouth and take a long look in the mirror. I’m sure you’ll start to see the makeup that you’ve been using to hide your true self for all of these years, possibly your entire life.

Every time you held back your anger, dissatisfaction, or swallowed your pride and did what you were told ‘real’ men do – you put on a coat. Every time you told your wife you didn’t care when she asked you for guidance or forced her to lead because you were too weak – you put a coat on. Every time you skipped going to the gym or eating right because it was easier to sit, watch Netflix, and destroy a bag of flaming hot Cheetos – you put a coat on.

You need to begin the process of wiping it away, today. I’ve always said that masculinity begets femininity. You’ve got to wipe the makeup off your soul before you can ever expect the men and women in your life (including your wife and children) to respect you and give you the admiration that is taken by masculine men. That ‘aura’ you see around men who own their shit and own this life comes from letting your genuine soul shine and choosing to live a genuinely masculine life.

You cannot expect your sex life to increase in frequency & quality, your professional life to advance, or your interpersonal life with your wife and children to improve until you fix yourself. This means that you’ve got to choose to wipe off all those coats of makeup that you’ve used to repress your true self for all of these years.

Depending on how long you’ve repressed your true nature, this may take some time. But wipe after wipe you’ll begin to see the raw ‘self’ underneath. Every time you choose to say what you want instead of ‘I don’t care’ that’s a wipe. Every time you draw a boundary and enforce it when tested, that’s a wipe. Every time you give 100% in the gym, dedicate time to self-improvement through reading & leading, or you choose the right path over the easy one – those are wipes.

Eventually you’ll find that one day it just clicks. You are gaming your wife without even trying, you and her are laughing and flirting again. You’ll find your kids are listening and following your example with reading, fitness, and being their genuine selves. You’ll find men challenging you and valuing your opinion on topics. All of this is a part of the final wipe and removal of the makeup – you are no longer a clown.

With the makeup removed, a man can man again.

With the makeup removed, a man can man again.

Once this occurs, do not take your foot off the gas as there is no end to this game we call life. It’s improvement to the grave, so keep finding things in life that are hard and work to make them easy, once they’re easy, find something else that is hard. Masculinity only prospers in challenging environments.

Immerse yourself in the moments, embrace the challenges that come with leading a family; find joy and comfort in the discomfort of having to remain unpredictable while you keep your wife on her toes. You weren’t a clown because you chose to get married, you were a clown because you chose to act and think the way you were told others wanted you to act and think. You were putting on a show in the hopes of getting the kickback of respect, sex, and admiration that Disney had promised you in all of those movies.

This is the reality, your masculinity is what makes you attractive; it’s what gets you laid, earns you respect, and leads to a regret free life. Stop putting on a show for the people around you. Stop playing the part of the clown in the play of life. You aren’t a character, you are a genuine masculine man. There are enough clowns in the world – choose to be real, raw, and have an awesome time while you do it.

  • Hunter

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Intentional Discomfort

Take a step back and recognize the beauty that's around you

Keeping passion, desire, joy, and productivity in a marriage is difficult. The problem is that the things you do aren’t new and because they aren’t new – they lose that initial feeling of wow. I’ve written about this in Remain UNpredictable as routine kills marriages; Routine = complacency and complacency = death of attraction.

This exact  concept can be applied to all things in your life. Yet, we don’t discuss it as often with material possessions as we do our women.

I have multiple posts on how to keep your woman on her toes and ways to keep that fire & the ‘tingles’ alive. Yet, I haven’t written about the necessity of doing this for the rest of the ‘stuff’ in your life and that is what the aim of this post is today.

Appreciate the comforts in your life, by removing them.

I was born in 87, I am in the fortunate group of people who appreciates the outdoors (I used to be kicked out of the house until the street lights were on) yet I also experienced Nintendo, PS1, etc.

I learned about remaining active, not having any fat friends (obesity wasn’t even a thing) and I was exposed to technology so I can also navigate all gaming systems and smart phones. I live in both the old and new world and it has benefited me immensely.

One of the problems with this is that I am further and further removed from the time when I didn’t have these luxuries. Long gone are the days where I’d have to wait to use a phone or not have hot water.

Appreciate the finer things

Appreciate the finer things

The constant comforts we’ve been afforded have made us weak and unappreciative – these are not masculine traits and therefore need to be identified and eradicated.

If you want to get back to enjoying the process and not just reaching the end, you need to remove some comforts from your life.

  • When is the last time you took a cold shower?
  • When is the last time you slept on the ground or a hard surface?
  • When is the last time you went a day without the internet or a phone?
  • When is the last time you made a fire to cook your food?

A lot of guys will watch movies like Man v. Wild or Naked & Afraid and say, I could do that – yet these guys have never gone a 24 hour period without shoving something into their mouth. How do you know you are prepared to face the elements if you never expose yourself to those elements?

Learn to appreciate what you’ve got and the beauty of the little things by taking them away. The easiest way to do this is to go camping. Leave the phone behind, the electronic games behind, running water behind, the memory foam – all of it.

Grab a thin blanket, a tent, a water filter, and maybe something to throw on a fire or a pan to boil water. Go out for at least 3 days.

You’ll learn more about yourself in those three days than you would reading 50 books on being a survivalist.

Remove the comforts and then you’ll appreciate the comforts.

If you don’t want to go camping try any of these:

Only take cold showers Monday-Friday – Saturday that warm shower will never have felt so good.

Go 3 days without sex or any type of ‘release’ – The first time you have sex you may not last long before blowing that 3 day build up, but it will feel amazing and have you appreciating the art of sex even more.

Leave your phone behind – People lose their shit over this one. They say, what if there’s an emergency?? So what? You find out later? I have a wife and kids, I love them to death, but when I go camping, there’s no phone and I’m gone 3-5 days. You don’t have to leave the phone behind for that long, but go to work without it or when you get home throw it in your closet, shut the door, and go about the rest of your day.

Leave the internet behind – Ever go a week without getting online? Didn’t think so. A week is like 2 internet months. So much can happen and change – so be it. Your life isn’t about being up to date 24/7 – it’s about actually living.

Leave TV/HULU/HBO/Netflix/VideoGames/Etc behind – If you are in the routine of go to work – come home – watch TV – eat – watch TV – sleep then now is a pretty good fucking time to get your head out of your ass. Years of your life are going to pass you by and you aren’t going to have a thing to show for it. Remove the television and then enjoy the time you’ve created for other endeavors. Then, when you want to watch a TV show or a movie with your lady or alone, you’ll appreciate having the means to do so. TV should be viewed as a privilege that is earned through completing work, not something that is expected or a part of your daily routine.

Do you know what you'd do if you were alone? I bet you couldn't be alone for 5 minutes before needed your phone, the radio, a song, etc distracting you.

Do you know what you’d do if you were alone? I bet you couldn’t be alone for 5 minutes before needed your phone, the radio, a song, etc distracting you.

These are but a few, I realized I could go on a pretty much limitless tangent, but the principle is there – remove the shit you are fond of so you actually enjoy it and don’t just take it for granted, removing the thrill and appreciation you once had.

By doing so you’ll exercise your self-discipline, have confidence that you can handle uncomfortable situations, and most importantly you’ll no longer take things for granted but appreciate the value of each little thing you have in your life.

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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