Fatherhood In Our Modern Times; A Podcast With Craig James and Rollo Tomassi

Craig James from Masculine by Design and Co-President along with myself over at the FraternityofExcellence.Com hosted a Podcast where the two of us along with Rollo Tomassi from The Rational Male discussed marriage and more importantly, fatherhood.

Being a father in this day and age is no easy task, which is fine because if it were easy it wouldn’t be fun.

Many knowledge bombs and insights are shared in this discussion and both Rollo and I open up on our personal experiences, from before marriage all the way to where we are today. Along the way we offer advice to those who are currently parents as well as the men who see being a father in their future.

Give the Chat a listen and let me know what you think.

Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the link below.
Donate(PayPal)

Mentouring – A 21 Convention Review

First off, I have to give credit where credit is due, my wife came up with the term mentouring.

While I wouldn’t say that the speakers themselves are “touring” to provide their speeches, the event itself is literally touring the globe and speakers are coming from across the nation.

The 21 Convention is an international convention and one that is continuing to grow, especially after having incorporated The Red Pill community.

I haven’t written a post in a few weeks as I’ve been working on my thesis (submitted & graded – 100% finally done with my Master’s) as well as preparing for the convention.

This piece will be my only written review of The 21 Convention. I will be doing a Podcast with Craig James of Masculine by Design as well as Gentlemen Jak from A King’s Castle.

Departure

Leaving the family is never fun, but our families are not our mission and there are times where we must separate what we want to do from what we have to do.

I had to attend this; writing, speaking, and helping other men learn how to better help themselves is my mission in life and there are times where it conflicts with my responsibilities as a husband and father.

This is the burden men have, this is the cross we bear.

Attending this event was going to change my life, I knew this going into it. I also knew that by attending this event I was going to miss two of my son’s baseball games, a team which I am the head coach of.

Missing those games sucked, fortunately for me I have a stellar wife who recorded videos and kept me up to date with what was going on (they won both).

My wife made the distance seem a little smaller, and I greatly appreciated her doing that for me.

The Speakers

I interacted with every speaker, but the ones I am going to list here are the ones that made an impact:

Rian Stone: I think the first thing he said to me was, “Hey faggot” from there everything was exactly as you’d expect from two sailors. I was with this guy every day before he had to take off early and quite literally the reason my speech did so well was because of the one he gave right before me that I built upon. He’s a solid dude who was exactly what I expected.

Rian is the kind of guy that if he showed up at my house today, we’d be right back at it. Similar to my approach, he made himself available to everyone the entire time,  and one who showed exactly why he was invited to speak.

Ivan Throne: Ivan and I spent each day together discussing family, business, the future, the present, and the past. I became instant friends with him as well as his dog, which I’ve come to calling SwoopDogg as this canine got more chicks flocking to him in one night than the entirety of the convention all week.

Ivan is the real deal, he’s passionate about what he believes in and his presentation was one which struck a chord with the men attending. He pulled no punches and drove the point home that as men, it is our duty to act and if you choose the path of passive existence, you need to get the fuck out of the way.

I do not believe this was the last time I’ll be seeing him in person.

Rollo Tomassi: This fucking guy is the OG of TRP & in my mind the Manosphere in general, he’s a funny motherfucker, and in all honesty was one of the leading forces behind the shift in the 21 Convention’s direction.

Rollo made himself completely accessible to the attendees and I think he took the brunt of the questions, stories, and overall swarm of discussion. Again, this is not an easy tasking nor is it required for him to do so.

I wanted to talk to him as much as everyone else, but this was about them, not us and Rollo was a fucking champ about it the entire time.

We’ve all read the posts, but to hear him speak on the subjects of masculinity, hypergamy, etc. it brings new life to those old words and really drove the point even deeper in your mind.

Rollo has a post for everything and I half expected him to pass out papers of essays instead of answering questions, but night after night he was there with a line of men trying to get a hold of this Red Pill rock-star. He’s is a standup guy who lives the message he writes.

Tanner Guzy: Tanner is a guy who I’ve messaged behind closed doors to let know that I appreciated his writing and while we don’t really interact that much on the web, I’m a huge fan of everything he has going on.

When we met in person, it was an immediate familiarity. He came right in, shook hands, said hello, and we just kicked it off. His wife was there as his photographer and she was incredibly nice as well. I spoke with both of them at a house party about my kids, their kids, online business, etc.

Tanner and his wife are quality people and I believe they’re exactly what this world needs more of. My blog and future products are going to be of higher quality directly because of the conversations we shared.

Goldmund Unleashed: Goldmund is the real deal, there is no conformist, fake, or ‘showman’ in him. He is who he is and does what he does.

He is the most immediately connected man I met at the event, quite literally he just popped up behind Rian and I with his coffee and it was all smiles and joking from there. I’m not even sure we formally met, we just started talking and having a great time.

That laid back attitude can be misinterpreted as going with the flow, which if you heard his speech that is not the case at all. He created a solid layout for these men to help them start looking inside themselves to find out who it is they truly are and where it is they want to go.

He gives a shit and took time to speak with each man who wanted a book, to check out his Masculine Accessories (I got some swag and my T levels jumped by 50).

He also helped each man who presented their individual insecurities with talking to women; that isn’t easy when you’ve got 20+ men asking you for a tailored program, but Goldmund hung in there and answered them all.

Christian McQueen: Christian was the person my wife was worried about as he is ‘The Playboy‘ and seeing the dude live, it’s no fucking joke. He is intense when it comes to business, professional when it comes to dealing with those asking questions, and a fucking blast to be around. I had a few conversations with the guy and he is a stand up dude who I’d want in my corner any day.

It wasn’t all girls either. We talked masculinity, business, family, etc. Most try to pigeonhole him into this one caricature when in fact he is much more and I think that bothers people.

He knows his shit and for me, as a married man with kids in a totally different stage in life, I still connected with the message as authenticity and masculinity are universally understood and respected.

Socrates: This fucking dude. I didn’t get much time with him at all as people always jumped in, but god dammit if I didn’t feel like I knew the guy forever. During our ‘post event‘ interview with Rollo, I was so fucking exhausted that one glass of Crown I drank during the interview blacked me out. I don’t remember shit from the interview except laughing my ass off with Socrates.

I later found out that I went to eat with Soc and ended up passing the fuck out at the table. Don’t mix no sleep with booze.

If that interview comes to light, I expect you’ll be laughing as hard as we were.

Anthony Johnson: I saved the best for last. This is the dude who made it happen and the final ‘Yes‘ to get me to this event. We didn’t get to interact much as his was handling everything for the event, but he believes in what it is he says and the mission/challenge he has taken on, just wait until you hear his final speech, motivating as fuck.

The Event

My wife asked me, “Why did you stay for every speech and always go down to the bar or out with the guys when you could grab some needed sleep?”

The answer was simple, I wanted to provide every opportunity I could for the men attending to see another man living his passion, embodying his message, and finding comfort in the discomfort.

I wasn’t sleeping well while in Florida, maybe 2-4 hours a night. But, how could I tell these men to push past their comfort zone if I was making sure I squeezed in naps?

Few, if any speaker stayed for the entirety of the event. I did, not because I really cared about what everyone was putting out, but rather because I knew that during each break these men would be asking me questions about the subject being discussed and if I wasn’t listening, I’d have no clue what they were talking about.

I, along with every other speaker was swarmed during each break, each dinner, event, outing, etc.

That shit is mentally taxing.

I wasn’t truly prepared for the relentless questions, stories, etc. On top of that, I gave my first live presentation and first speech in front of a crowd ever, I was nervous as shit and to receive a standing ovation after the fact was surreal.

It was a little overwhelming at first but I did my best to keep up and ensure I was saying what I meant and giving everyone their own time and attention.

Still, even when speakers were trying to talk to one another and would be interrupted, we’d give the attendee our all and didn’t treat it as any sort of annoyance,  we weren’t there for ourselves, we were there for the attendees.

The men who dedicated their time and money gaining access to those who were sending out a message of masculine reclamation deserved everything we had to offer, and each of us gave it.

I hung out in downtown Orlando with these men until 0400, then attended conferences from 0900 to 1900 then went out again until 0300 walking the streets with Jack Donovan and Ivan Throne which is something that I, as well as the other men will remember for quite some time.

This event was a game changer & 2018 is going to be even better.

Anthony Johnson has created the next step for the ‘Manosphere’ and the fight to reclaim masculinity in men’s lives and preserve it in our society.

He is removing the medium, bringing men together, and producing content at a rate which is impressively aggressive.

Return & What’s Next?

I’ve been home for roughly three days now and I’ve dedicated most of that time to thinking about, what now?

For the speakers, I hope this acts as fuel for future growth and desire to help get content out for those men who continue to struggle, plugged-in to a society who hates their authentic nature.

For the attendees, I hope the words were received and a plan is being formulated to put them into action.

Remember, Acta, Non VerbaDeeds, Not Words.

You spent valuable time and money to attend the event, make it count towards something. You need to make those words received become fuel for tangible improvements in your life. You attended The 21 Convention for a reason, now face that reason head on and make sure you come out on top.

Living an authentically masculine life sets an example which breaks the bonds for your brethren. Your example will allow them to break the conformist ranks, so take action and embody your message.

For myself, I’ve seen these men face to face. I’ve shaken their hands, heard their stories, and witnessed how real this all is. I hope to create products and write pieces which act as a catalyst for sustained superior performance.

I’m not worried about the next two weeks as these men are riding a high, I’m worried about two months from now when the desire of comfort comes creeping in. When it does, my writing will be there to catch any man who begins to fall back into the hole from which they came.

All of the speakers threw a rope to those who needed help to climb out of that hole. Now you must climb, and when you reach the top, you must ask yourself, do you march forward living the rest of your life in a genuine manner, or do you choose to stick around and throw a rope to the next man.

Either way you’re right, but those who choose to throw a rope, I look forward to seeing the resources and content you provide.

Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the links below.

Donate(PayPal)

PaperBack

Positive Masculinity Puts a Spotlight on Red Pill Parenting

The best way to fight back against those who are looking to eradicate all things masculine, is to destroy the notion that masculinity is something to be associated with negativity.

We’ve all heard it:

  • You’re too aggressive
  • You’re too competitive
  • You’re too focused on your job, your strength, your beard, etc.

Society’s support of the female imperative has led to men repressing every fiber of their masculine nature in order to ‘get ahead’ in a world which despises his very existence.

Speak It

Getting the discussion going between men, about how expression of masculinity is required (not repression) is critical as it plants seeds in the minds of those who listen.

Yesterday I spent over an hour and a half talking with Craig James of Masculine by Design about exactly this. (Find the Podcast here).

Write It

Another means to reaching the masses and helping our brethren who are suffering in silence is by spreading the written word.

It is the typed and written word which inspired this post as Rollo Tomassi of The Rational Male has released his third book Positive Masculinity.

While Rollo has been running his blog for years and has released two other solid reads (The Rational Male & Preventive Medicine (Volume II)) this one is especially important  (and relevant to The Family Alpha) as it focuses on something which is near and dear to my heart and that of those who read my work, Family.

From his Announcement Post Rollo shows us the four themes which the book is comprised of:

The book outlines four key themes: Red Pill Parenting, The Feminine Nature, Social Imperatives and Positive Masculinity.

Each of these topics are sure to improve our understanding of the world and how expression of our biological nature is the only path men should follow; more than that, an entire quarter of the book is dedicated to those men who, like myself, are working to raise sons and daughters properly and to arm them with the knowledge needed to live an authentic life in a society which promotes degeneracy and conformity.

I’m grabbing my copy tonight and I recommend all fathers who follow me do the same.

Invest in yourself and your family by picking up a copy of Positive Masculinity (Volume III).
Acta Non Verba,

Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the links below.

Donate(PayPal)

PaperBack

Finances for the Family Man

This is part four of a seven part series.

The Order:

  1. Son
  2. Daughter
  3. Wife
  4. Finances
  5. Home
  6. Tradition
  7. Country

As I look across the Manosphere of Reddit and Twitter sometimes I get the feeling that I’m the only guy who isn’t making over 100k a year.

I make 58k a year.

My wife makes 33k a year.

Combined we’re making $91,000.

It all starts with choosing to pay a little more attention to each of those dollars.

Together we make less than six figures yet we still want for nothing and have many ‘nicer’ material possessions.

  • We have a home in a great neighborhood with .8 acres of land which the chickens, dog, and kids love to run around.
  • We both drive Wranglers.
  • Our Credit scores are both over 800
  • Nobody wants for anything.

We don’t live paycheck to paycheck and the physical ‘things‘ we own all bring value to our lives and guess what, my wife handles our bills.

I don’t have that weird ‘money control complex’ some guys have.

When I was constantly deploying in and out while on active duty in the Navy, my wife had to handle our finances. Once I returned for good and I (we) transferred to shore duty she had done such a great job and had such a fantastic system in place that we just kept it how it was and follow that pan to this day.

There’ no reason to fix something that isn’t broken.

We’ve made it so that we only pay for things that we absolutely need.

We have removed:

  1. Our Home Phone
  2. Cable
  3. Gym Memberships (we built a Home Gym)
  4. High Speed Internet (we use regular)

We also limit our dining out, impulse purchases, and the amount of booze we’re consuming (alcohol can get expensive).

The Spartan mindset we’ve developed together as a couple was only possible after I was able to remove the stigma associated with talking money.

Removing the Taboo

Growing up I could not have told you how much money my dad made. Finances were a subject which was impolite to discuss and my wife’s parents were the same way.

I’m not sure of his reasoning, bit I am not following in my old man’s footsteps on this one.

Money is not a subject which should be avoided as it is personal or subjective in nature.

Money is Money, you should be able to discuss it in a free and open manner.

I was able to create this type of environment with my wife by gradually introducing it to her daily.

When we first started budgeting, monitoring money, and having conversations on the subject I would talk small numbers and make it seem as though it was her idea and that she was doing a great job.

I had to not only build her confidence in the subject, but also her competence.

After a little while, she started taking pride in the money she was saving and from there it sort of became a game or challenge in which we were participating.

This isn’t about trying to be the most poor, nor is it really about living frugally; our approach is that we live with purpose and the things we choose to spend our money on reflects that.

We have debt, mostly from my transition out of the Navy, but we don’t let that debt suffocate us. We plan things out, to include our grocery shopping.

We worked together and came up with a plan as to how we were going to eliminate the money that owned us while at the same time we would be able to actually live our lives.

The key points to removing the taboo with your spouse is to:

  1. Make it a team effort
  2. Make her feel as though she is making you proud with each savings she comes across
  3. A clear plan which is understood is developed. Don’t save just to save; manage your money intentionally.

Creating New Streams of Income

This is something I am quite literally in the middle of doing now. I’ve read a lot of Financial Samurai along with a few others and I’ve been working out a plan to get a few more money generators in my life.

Everyone has their salary, but to be able to generate income on the side, without working another 40 hours is not only satisfying, it helps fill the gaps and speed up the payoff plan, retirement, vacations, etc.

I do not make much money from writing.* I get a few random donations a month and to each of those who’ve donated I thank you. You earned that money through time dedicated to your craft and I am forever grateful you found my words to be worthy of your time, there is no greater compliment.

*I did recently received a rather large donation which was quite humbling, again thank you to the man who found my words to be of that great a value.

I don’t write for money; no writer does, we write because we’d go mad if we didn’t.

The amount of time I’ve been putting into this blog has required me to find some kind of monetary return. With that said, after #MenofMarch I had such a positive experience and enjoyed the month so much that I’d decided “fuck it, I’ll keep it like this and people can just donate and I’ll save that up.

Then I had a shit ton of guys asking me why I wasn’t turning it into a book so we could get the program out into the world.

I’d never written a book, but I enjoyed writing so I picked some brains and went to work.

The product was 31 Days to Masculinity: A Guide for Men to Live Authentic Lives

I wrote and released the book less than two months ago (May 19), here are the results as of tonight.

This book has become a source of side income. It has also acted as a motivator for me to make the effort to publish another one.

The mindset is addicting, it gives me a glimpse of what it is entrepreneurs must feel like.

I created the blog and people enjoyed it, I added a pay-pal and some choose to donate, I wrote the book and people have purchased, the next step is getting my Patreon up and running.

You can find my Patreon page [HERE]

After I complete this week long series I will be dedicating a significant amount of time to getting quality exclusive content on there for those who find my writing worthy.

Those who donate are definitely going to enjoy the VIP treatment they’ll receive as I’ll be doing AMAs, recording personalized videos, and allowing people to let me know exactly what it is they want me to cover.

These are all side streams of income that I’ve based around this blog.

I do what I love and for the time I dedicate to helping my fellow man and families, I have been rewarded. I couldn’t be happier and maybe someday I can fulfill my goal of writing full-time, we’ll see.

For you that may mean flipping furniture you find then using the profits to buy a storage place to store more so you can flip more. It’s all about investing in yourself and not buying more frivolous items society has you that you need.

For others this may mean putting your programming skills to use for another who needs it (and will pay), mowing lawns, shoveling driveways, whatever it is you see a need for or you love doing, find a way to get that to generate you some cash flow.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to monetize your skillsets, yet society has placed this stigma and it has led to men giving there very best away with nothing to show for it.

You don’t get rich off of doing this(you can, but rich is a very subjective term), you do get the satisfaction of earning a dollar through grit/grinding and you can’t put a price on a man’s happiness.

Reducing Spending/Plugging the Financial Wounds

For some families the problem isn’t that they don’t make enough, it’s that they spend way too much.

Earlier I touched on the various things that my family has gotten rid of that others view as essentials. You need to take a hard look at where it is that your money is going.

What do you have coming in and what do you have going out?

Do a month long assessment, look over previous statements, tally up how much you’ve spent on wine, extra cable channels, or ordering out.

You’ll be surprised to see how much those few lunches, dinners, coffees, snacks, and booze have cost you over the course of a month.

Life isn’t all about the accumulation of more.

It isn’t about keeping up with the Jones’s.

Life is about living and immersing in each and every moment you’ve been lucky enough to be afforded. Growing older is a privilege which has been denied to many.

Modern society’s problem is that it kills people long before they enter the ground.

I have shared the finances of myself, my book, and my blog; most won’t do this. Again, people are so worried about talking finances, we must remove the stigma.

I’m not afraid people will stop donating or buying my book because they saw behind the curtain, there’s nothing to see. I’m a man looking to align his passion with his profession, I’ve got a family to feed so I can’t do it for free, if I could I would.

You need to take the same approach.

Stop worrying so much about what it is you’ll discover and look behind your own curtain, to be the best well-rounded father and husband you can, you must objectively evaluate your financial health.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the links below.

Donate(PayPal)

PaperBack

My Wife, the balance to my Masculine

This is part three of a seven part series.

The Order:

  1. Son
  2. Daughter
  3. Wife
  4. Finances
  5. Home
  6. Tradition
  7. Country

Women have so much of what we have none of

Men are the romantics, this is fact.

We live hard, love hard, and find overwhelming oceans of emotion when it comes to innocence, beauty, and life.

I’d originally planned to include the word honor, but it is so subjective that including it would be like discussing the term ‘alpha’.

Honor has been distorted, but it belongs with a man’s sense of romanticism because every man roots for the little guy who keeps getting up after the giant knocks him down, every man has a problem with a three vs one fight, and every man wants to destroy anyone who tries to harm children.

This romantic nature is the reason women drive men to do the most insane things.

Guys will:

  • Fight for a woman
  • Kill themselves over a woman
  • Sacrifice their dreams and aspirations for a woman
  • Pass on life changing opportunities for a woman
  • Murder for a woman
  • Repress every fiber of their genuine ‘self’ for a woman

Why?

Because women have everything that we don’t and we love it.

  1. Women are soft where we’re hard and train to be harder.
  2. Women are tender while we are brutish.
  3. Women smell good and are clean while we reek of shit and are covered in grime.
  4. Women are youthful and enjoy the ride through life while we are mission oriented and sometimes forget to stop and enjoy the moments.
  5. Women are complementary to men and for this, we love them; often at our own expense.

Don’t sink the boat you built to float

My wife is no different than any other woman out there. She is a chick who shit tests, talks more than she listens, and loves to craft, paint, and bedazzle anything.

I love her for it.

She is nothing like me, yet she’s exactly like me.

When I look at my wife, my world slows down. I don’t include this as some sort of cliché or steal it from a scene in a movie, it’s real.

Your wife is a woman and your lover, never forget that.

She keeps me dialed in and even though there are times where I get pissed and tell her to take things a little more seriously, even then I’m smiling on the inside because I know she’s right, I get too caught up in life and sometimes I need to step back and say,

Fuck it…

There are way too many men out there who have wives who would be a great complement to their life, but they don’t pull that feminine beauty from her by creating the masculine vessel which allows her to fill her womanly role.

I fill my role and because of this, my wife complements my life, she makes it easier.

My wife went out, bought me an old desk, stripped, sanded, replaced broken hardware, and stained this thing for me. I didn’t know she was doing this, she just wanted to make me something for father’s day and knew a desk was exactly what she wanted to give me as she supports my passion for writing.

I return from work to home cooked meals, kids taken care of, and a beautiful woman who is either wearing appropriately sexy attire for me or she is wearing something sexy underneath her clothes which she flashes my way when the kids aren’t looking.

We work together keeping the kids off the TV and other electronics. Instead, we read with them, my wife does crafts and projects with them, and she just keeps the house running like clockwork.

We tag team dishes, I do trash and cut the lawn while she does house cleaning and laundry.

We have our roles and responsibilities and we make it work. The key is that you view it as the two of you together vs the world, not vs each other.

Let her know that she still does it for you

I love photography. I have a Canon EOS Rebel T5 (Christmas gift from wife)and recently I’ve been making an effort to bring it with me more often. This has resulted in me turning the camera towards my wife and us having our own private photo shoots in the middle of anywhere.

My wife will initially say, “stop, take a pic of the kids” but she knows I’m not going to stop because she drives me wild, so reluctantly (with a smile on her face) she’ll pop some poses and they always come out amazing.

Is this something every husband is doing?

Why not?

Your girl does it for you right?

Let her know.

Most husbands and wives are under-fucked and over-critical. What happened to the joy? When and why did things get so serious? Why aren’t you treating her like you used to?

Why aren’t you treating her like a girl you lust for, yet you know you’d be able to survive without?

Treat her as something you crave and something you’d like to have; a fun sidekick while you walk your path and follow your mission in life, never making her your mission.

You need to bring that dynamic back to life, you need to create your slut and a healthy sexual environment where the two of you can openly, without fear of judgement share your sexual desires with one another.

Let her know that there are times where you just want to fuck the ever living shit out of her.

I don’t care if you’re in church, at your friend’s house, or in the mall. When that primal urge hits you, tell her.

It’s the same as letting her know when she does what it is you desire of her. Say the words, let her know you’re proud.

Fortunately for me, my wife has remained committed to working her ass off (not literally, her ass is a thing of beauty, I’m pretty sure she’s part reindeer) to keep my eyes on her. Slapping her ass is like smacking a bowling ball (Props to Rollo for that simile).

For the men who gained weight and as a result their wife did as well, work to balance the scales and reclaim that physical attraction together.

Don’t be one of the guys who wants a submissive woman, yet when she turns to you for advice your answer is “I don’t know.” “I don’t care.” “Why are you asking me, you’re an adult make your own decision.”

You fucking hypocritical retard, she is turning to you for guidance and you’re fucking up; You Have to Lead.

Don’t be afraid to piss her off

Show me a husband who says “Happy Wife Happy Life” and I’ll show you a marriage where neither husband nor wife are ‘happy’.

The men who go to extreme lengths not to anger their wives are simultaneously causing hate and discontent in their own hearts as well as that of their spouse.

Your wife is your lover, she isn’t your mother.

You are her man, you aren’t her child.

At no point should these lines ever blur. There will be times where you choose to write late, go out with your friends, invest in this instead of buying that, etc.

You can’t be afraid of taking authentic actions out of fear of confrontation. The moment you do that is the moment she loses attraction, respect, and any submissive behaviors towards you as she has discovered that obviously you aren’t the man she thought you were.

Don’t be a fucking asshole, but refuse to compromise who you are in order to ‘keep the peace’.

Plus, you’ll never have rough make-up sex if there’s never anything to make-up for.

Have fun with your marriage

Life is too short to take any of it seriously; get back to filling your marriage with laughter.

I laugh with and at my wife a lot. We are always cracking jokes, being funny, or just fucking with each other. Why wouldn’t you?

You’re with this person daily, you don’t want it to get stale or bland. Make each other not snicker or snort, but genuinely laugh, learn how to be a witty man and get your girl to open up too.

Women aren’t that funny, my wife included, but sometimes she comes out with some of the most off the wall shit and it gets me rolling.

That’s how marriages should be.

There are many ways to keep her on her toes and there are many ways she can do the same for you, it’s just that you both need to find each other worthy of putting forth that extra effort.

Remain Interesting

My wife recently started a new job.

She could have stayed at her old one as she was the chick in charge and it would have been easy sailing and easy money. The problem was she didn’t enjoy it and because of that she went to school, got her certification, and applied to jobs then was picked up and now is working a sweet gig.

I love hearing her stories when she comes home. I love knowing that she is improving as an individual as well as the two of us improving together.

She is a submissive woman who follows her man at home, yet she is a lion when she is out in the world.

Never forget that you have to cultivate yourself as a man and your woman also has to cultivate her self as a woman while at the same time the two of you come together to cultivate the relationship you have.

This concludes the posts on members of my family. I’ve covered my son, daughter, and now my lady. Writing this out and sharing these little screenshots has made me appreciate all the more what it is that I have, so thank you.

I love losing myself to the craft of writing. It’s a different feeling that I hope everyone can experience in their life; the flow of passion, love, mission, and purpose; it’s a very spiritual process.

Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the links below.

Donate(PayPal)

PaperBack

Sex, Toys, and Rock & Roll

Riding into work today I had the top and doors off the Jeep, radio was up listening to Five Finger Death Punch, and I was thinking of how there was a Teacher Appreciation Week which led me to the thought, what would a Husband or Father Appreciation week look like?

My Answer?

Blow Jobs & Buffalo Chicken Wings

There are people who are going to read that and think:

  • What a pig.
  • Simple minded Red Pill man thinks it’s all about getting his dick wet.
  • Could you just not share these private things?

To each of these I will follow the approach which has served me well for the past 11 years, I will not give a fuck about what people want me to do and I will do what I want to do.

This is the mindset men must cultivate if they’re ever to break the mold society so desperately wants to confine them to.

Blowjobs & Chicken Wings, few things make me happier so why should I be ashamed to say it?

I ended up in traffic, turned my radio down, and I realized that I was the only vehicle that you could hear tunes coming from. There was the slightest thumping from a few vehicles, but even they could only be heard when you strained.

Now, I firmly believe in meditation in motion. Sometimes my commute is silent the entire way, but rarely is that during the warm sunny days and I doubt that all of the cars, with their windows up were meditating.

Its summer time, the sun is out, the weather is great, why is everybody so fucking contained?

We can’t live our days hiding inside temperature controlled boxes.

I don’t expect people to be obnoxiously blasting their radios, but god damn when did everyone become so fucking meek and passive?

Why are we so restrained and averse to living life with full expression of self?

I could go into detail as to how we’ve become somewhat reclusive in nature, deflective of attention which may subject us to criticism, or the despicable notion that we must “fit in” (conform) to be accepted by our peers but I will do none of these things as it doesn’t matter why we got to this point, all that matters is that, after reading this, you break free from the spell society has cast upon you.

If what you’re waiting for is permission, I am granting it now. You are allowed to turn your radio up, enjoy sex, and play with whatever toys you want.

Rock & Roll

Free your soul by freeing yourself from the constraints of others people's negativity.

Free your soul by freeing yourself from the constraints of others people’s negativity.

Put your window down and turn your music up.

I’ll be honest, there have been quite a few rides where I’ve had the radio off, but my windows are down and my smile is on.

In 31 Days to Masculinity there is a day that calls for you to release a primal yell. This is one of the favorite days and challenges by-far because it allows you to fully release that pent up stress, frustration, and joy; it allows the soul to breath.

Turning your radio up from time to time has the same effect on your heart and soul; sometimes it just feels good to rock the fuck out to whatever kind of music you like.

I’ve sung Frozen, Moana, Queen, Slipknot, etc. Whatever fits your mood that day, belt it out. It’s OK to lose yourself to the tunes, even better when you’ve got the family in the car and they see that they’re allowed to be a little less serious in life as well.

Your family will follow your example, not your advice.

Lighten the fuck up and get back to listening to loud music without worrying whether people will judge you for singing along with Nick Lachey and 98 Deg or trying to figure out, what does the fox say?

Sex

Men love sex, we think about it all of the time yet we’re supposed to repress that nature and instead make sure we let our women know that we love them for what’s on the inside.

As a man, you need to embrace the raging sexual drive you have inside of you and most importantly stop choosing porn over possible rejection. Engage with real women, get out there and live. The pixels do not protect you from rejection, they destroy your chances at ever living.

You know you want to fuck, so go out there and fuck like you never have before. Let your girl know you want road-head. Let her know you’re a sexually driven man who lusts for women.

Masculine love is genuine, free from covert contracts.

Masculine love is genuine, free from covert contracts.

I’ve been married 8 years and when the kids aren’t around there are times where we’ll go at it like it’s our last night on Earth.

You keep your girl craving you by showing you’re not a castrated male who is content with holding her purse.

If you’re on date #7 and you haven’t had sex, she isn’t into you.

If you meet a girl and can’t tell her that you’re only interested in sex and don’t desire any type of relationship, then again you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Single men, not every woman you meet is LTR/wife material and for the guys married, sex is not supposed to decline after marriage.

Sex should not be some ‘big thing’, in fact it should be as open a part of you as your profession, hobbies, etc.

Of course you desire and enjoy sex, why should we pretend otherwise? Make it clear where you stand when the line is drawn.

Toys

Have you ever been told you were ‘compensating’ by driving a fast car, getting a motorcycle, lifting your Jeep or Truck, wearing nicer clothes, or collecting firearms?

Make sure you’ve got a giant ‘Fuck You‘ ready for those who continually try to minimize your passions into trivial ‘compensatory’ objects.

What you find to bring joy into your life is for you and you alone.

I can’t tell you how many people have said that they ‘settled down’ after marriage and kids; trading in the truck for a Kia Optima.

Masculinity is not something you do, it’s who you are. While you may have to accommodate living arrangements when moving in with someone or bringing new lives into the world that does not mean you castrate your former self in order to follow the path others are living.

Refuse to conform to their mold; continue to live the life you want.

If you like fast cars, big Jeeps, guns, or collecting old books keep that passion alive. Life is too short to get rid your toys and stop having fun.

Growing older doesn’t mean you’ve got to get a tie, work 9-5, and drive a safe and reliable fuel efficient vehicle.

You're cming out of the abyss, ensure you remove any remnants of your former, weaker self.

You define you, nobody else.

Remove the notion that conformity is what’s required and replace it with authentic living. Remember, the moment you change who you are for your wife is the moment your wife begins to lose attraction.

She married a masculine man hoping he would be her Alpha bucks, the lover and provider for her offspring. When you give in, it shows that you weren’t entirely confident with who you were and that you’re willingness to compromise is the beginning of the end of your authentic life.

Keep your passions alive; do not allow others to minimalize the importance or joy you experience from them.

Life is too short to waste a day trying to live the life others view as ‘acceptable’. Do your thing and notice the envy in their eyes.

Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha please use the links below.

Donate(PayPal)

PaperBack

Stop trying to be someone else.

“Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.” –Heraclitus

Everyone thinks they’re the man who will bring others back, even though most shouldn’t even be on the battle field.

Why the dissonance?

Artful Man is a subject matter expert on personality types, that’s his calling and he’s damn good at it. We all have our personalities, but more and more people are trying to claim a personality which isn’t their’s and the consequences are becoming more and more disastrous.

This is the first of a three part series which was 100% inspired by the discussion between Mark Baxter and The Artful Man which can be found here. I listened to this Podcast on the ride into work and at three separate points I hit pause and the three posts you will read immediately wrote themselves.

Before reading the post, I recommend you give Mark’s channel a listen and hear what he and Artful Man had to say. I also recommend you follow the Podcast as it’s absolute gold. Mark is bringing brilliant masculine minds to the table for a chat and they’re dropping knowledge bombs left and right.

With the credit for the inspiration out of the way, I present to you Post #1.

We are living in an age where you can be anything you want to be. You can be a pilot, an astronaut, a Navy SEAL, a bodybuilder, and you can do it all from the comfort of your basement; thank you internet.

Only you know who hides behind the keyboard.

If you have ever amplified your story to make it sound cooler than it really was or if you claim to have achieved feats which you never have in your real life, it has to stop now.

In the Podcast Artful Man talks about those who put on that mask and try to be people who they aren’t and in doing so they, “create a self-parody & stream of consciousness which will erode them over time” and he is dead on with this assessment.

When I heard this I had to hit pause because it perfectly describes something I’ve discussed time and time again.

If you make yourself out to be a hero online, then when you close the screen and look into the mirror, you’re going to hate the face looking back more than you did before.

Why?

Because you realize that in your real life, you aren’t that great, you haven’t achieved those accomplishments, and you aren’t an authority on the subject which you claim to be. You’re self-loathing grows once the rush of online attention fades and whether you believe it or not, eventually you have to look way from the screen and return to the ‘real world’. In this world, you’re nothing and instead of working to make yourself something, you just rage at yourself for being nothing until you have to return to the screen and plug back into the forums or twitter where you rule supreme, but this isn’t real living and a part of you knows that.

When you aren’t living your message, your message will absolutely destroy you. Too many are sharing a message which lacks authenticity and it is going to burn them.

Everything on The Family Alpha comes from a position of genuine living. I live what I write and I share my failures as well as success to show that I’m not some superman with a family; I’m a guy who busts his ass and sometimes I hit the mark and sometimes I fall flat on my face. Through it all, I’m honest and this is why I can look myself in the mirror and smile.

I’m not eroding because there are no lies eating away inside my heart.

But those who lie and spread a false message, they’re afraid of being exposed. They’re always covering their tracks and are forced to keep up with the lies which compound upon themselves. The web which they must navigate to remember who they are and what they’ve done takes a toll on their mental health.

Take pride in who you are and the life you’ve lived up to this point.

If you want to reach greater heights, then write about how you’re working to reach greater heights. People will connect with a pure message of working for more much more strongly than they would to a fake who claims to have obtained it all.

This brings me all the way back to the original quote of this post by Heraclitus.

You can only become the man who brings other men back, when you stop trying to be that man and you start being your own man.

You can easily pick out the accounts on twitter who are trying to emulate Victor Pride, Illimitable Man, or even Artful Man. Yet, their account receives no attention, their message is mostly ignored, and overall they are just filling space in between the accounts who are writing from a genuine perspective.

You can’t copy greatness; that comes from within and if you were to be able to remove the desire to live the way other men are living and instead live your life and share your message you’d find that many more people would be connecting with your words.

We live in a day and age where there are generics everywhere.

From this point it’s simple supply and demand, when you’ve got generics all over the internet, media, television, etc. it’s authenticity and genuine personalities that people crave as they’re far and few between.

If you want to give the people what they need, then give them the raw you. They don’t need another Hunter Drew or Rollo Tomassi, they don’t need another Victor Pride or WallStreet Playboy – they need you and your real & raw message which can only be told by you as you’re the only one to have lived your life and experienced your experiences.

Your perspective is unique, embrace that.

If you know that you’ve been putting on a persona or playing a character online, it’s time to delete it.

Delete the accounts whether they be troll, ‘joke accounts’, or fabricated in any way and take some time away from the internet. Get away from the notifications, the rush of ‘being liked’, and the rapid response high speed internet provides.

Remove it all and take some time to find out who you really are as a man.

Once you know you and once you know what it is you stand for and what your mission is, only then can you be the man who brings other men back. Only then can you write from an authentic perspective.

Life isn’t about being the most liked, re-tweeted, or shared person online – it’s about living in the real world and making the breathes you are taking count towards something.

When you can look in the mirror and smile, then you can start writing and I promise you, that’s when people are going to pay attention.

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

Donate