cigoL Fat Edition

This will become a running series of sorts. Backwards logic can be found in most modern movements, such as the ‘Health at every size‘. With that said, this post will obviously be focusing on the Fat that’s weighing my country down.

To think you can ignore a problem until it resolves itself is so backwards and illogical that if I hadn’t witnessed it firsthand time and again, I’d never believe people actually behaved like this.

Saying you love someone more than anything yet you’re unable to directly confront them on an issue should show you that you do not love them more than you love the current comfort you’re enjoying in your life. That obese child is not going to ‘grow out of it‘, that chubby teen girl is not going to ‘blossom into a beauty‘, there is never going to be a ‘right time’ to have the difficult conversation with these loved ones about their issues…

But you have too…if you do not, they’ll eventually reach the point of ‘no return’ and forever suffer the entirely preventable negative health complications which could have been avoided had you only had the courage to say something.

I’ve already covered the growing (no pun intended) population of Funny Fat Guys as well as the need to work with your wife to Balance the Scales so I will focus this post on those we interact with on a relatively frequent basis or are a part of our lives and we give enough of a shit about them that we are willing to take the difficult, yet necessary actions.

*I’d like to note, this applies to those who are extremely underweight as well.

We’ll be covering:

  1. Fat Family
  2. Fat Kids
  3. Fat Friends
  4. Fat Pets

Fat Family

You don't have the time you think you have, act now before it's too late to make a difference.

You don’t have the time you think you have, act now before it’s too late to make a difference.

You may have a fat mom, dad, brother, or sister and while you’ve noted their growing weight and declining health, you’ve avoided directly bringing it up or looking the other way when they struggle to get out of a chair, move around a restaurant, or fit on a plane; how has that worked for you and them so far?

How has their life improved because of your silence? How are you able to talk about their declining health, possibly to other members in your family without reaching the point where you throw your comfortable relationship to the side in order to do what must be done?

You must make the difficult decision now to risk losing that person and forever ruining the relationship in order to save their life.

I know it sucks, I know you feel your heart try to rip through your chest when you think of it. I know you feel you won’t have the right words or that the conversation will turn immediately to blame, yelling, anger, regret, guilt, etc.

I know that this could result in a strained relationship for the rest of their life without improvement of health on their part so you’ll feel it was all for naught…

But that isn’t the truth, because if you do make the decision to have that conversation and take that more difficult path of direct confrontation, you’ll be able to go to the grave knowing that at least you tried.

When everyone else stood in the stands watching this loved one eat themselves to the grave you stepped into the arena and fought.

Maybe you win, maybe you lose, but at least when your family member is struggling with confidence, unable to live, and slowly dying in front of your eyes while all others wish they’d done more and for the rest of their days will have that regret, you will not, because you acted.

Others may say that you calling your family member out is disrespectful, especially if it is a parent, but this isn’t about respect or allowing others to remain comfortable, it’s about life. When you are fat you lack confidence, you lack physical capability, and you suffer preventable health complications on the mind as well as body. You carry that weight mentally, physically, and spiritually.

You cannot hang Polaroids if you cannot live…

Fat Kids

This is becoming the 'norm' Stop It

This is becoming the ‘norm’ Stop It

Your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

There are a lot of parents of fat children who talk about how, back in their day they didn’t have tablets. What kind of bullshit sorcery are these people talking about, these parents buy their kid a tablet then bitch about kids on tablets.

They can’t bitch about kids on tablets, I can because when the sun is out, my kids are out. I’m not having a screen raise them, in fact I advise families Kill the TV and start investing in quality time together.

Fat kids are the product of weak parents, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have spent hours arguing/discussing this with people in my real life and online. There is no reason a child should be overweight *barring diagnosed conditions which are wicked fucking rare & even those conditions only account for 10-20lb weight gain.

The reason kids are fat is because they are sedentary for a plethora of reasons, their diet is fucking shit, and their parents don’t give a fuck or are placing emphasis on work and comfort over the more difficult path of actually raising their Sons (Post Here for Boys) & Daughters (Post here for girls).

Your child’s life is heavily influenced by the standard of upbringing they receive from you, the parent. The habits, relationship with food, fitness, and overall approach to life will be developed from the actions you’re taking.

Kids follow your example, not your advice.

If you are eating right and working out, there is no reason that you should not be applying this to your child’s life as well. They are never too young to get active and get moving with you or on their own.

My daughter is 4 and she was downstairs with me today doing kettlebell swings while my wife and I dead-lifted. Then, she was showing me how close she is to doing a split and asking about stretches. My son is the same way, always doing push-ups or climbing, running, etc. The kid was outside late last night using our front light as a spotlight so he could keep throwing his football in the air and try to catch it one-handed “like Odell Beckham Jr.

Foster an environment in your home where you cook with your kids, have them cook for you, and while you’re doing so talk to them about the ingredients being added and what each one does for your body. Make your kids a part of your exercise program and have fun with it.

This doesn’t have to be some strict food & fitness Nazi style parenting. My kids have snacks, but instead of ice cream I’ll give them frozen grapes, or they’ll make their own fruit concoctions.

Make it fun and develop a healthy household where people eat to live and aren’t living just to eat.

Fat Friends

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

People say you’re the result of those you keep close company with. Look at your friends, are they fit or are they fat?

Have you ever approached your fat friend or are you taking the, “They’re an adult, I don’t have any business or responsibility saying anything to them about their weight.” approach? Because I’m telling you right now, if any of the guys pictured above were my friend I would absolutely be talking to them about un-fucking their life.

What’s the worst that can happen, you lose a friend because you tell them they are going to destroy their life for no reason other than being gluttonous? Is losing someone who can’t take your advice/opinion really a friend in the first place?

I get it, we all want to be comfortable and just have a good fucking time, but these guys and girls who you call ‘friends’, their fat selves are going to start experiencing the pain of being fat and act like they don’t know why they’re sick, why they can’t get pregnant, why their joints hurt, why they can’t climb the mountain or jet-ski with you and your girl…

They’re going to suffer, and suffer, and suffer all because nobody has the fucking balls to tell them that all of their extra weight is killing them.

Grab your fucking balls and have that difficult conversation, if you lose the friendship then at least you know how weak it was in the first place.

Fat Pets

I focus on dogs as I’m a dog guy, insert whatever pet you have; the advice remains the same.

I don’t laugh when I see dogs that are fat as shit and have a hard time running around. I’m a ‘dog guy’, the photo above is my most loyal companion, the only thing in this world which loves me more than himself and I’ll never stop appreciating that.

When I see bulldogs or other dogs which have a stockier build I immediately look to see if the dog is being treated like he’s a frat brother. People think certain animals are supposed to be fat so they’ll feed them Cheetos, have them drink beer, and just treat the animal like it’s a fucking garbage disposal. They don’t exercise it regularly nor do they bring it anywhere to ‘experience’ the outdoors.

Your dog doesn’t need to be eating Blue Buffalo, but god damn, give some attention to what it’s funneling down its throat.

The same goes for exercise and ‘life experience’. Has your dog ever been to a lake, the ocean, a park, or the woods? If all it has seen is the block you walk around and your backyard, why the fuck do you have a pet?

This animal needs to burn energy; a tired dog is a happy dog.

I bring my dude places in the Jeep, sneak him to a lake we aren’t supposed to swim at, let him run the woods, and we get Target brand food. The best? Negative, but it’s better than the crap that you get for .99/lb we’ll also supplement his food with richer proteins & meat occasionally.

Ensure you’re setting the standard for everyone in your clan, too include your loyal companions.

I understand this is a sensitive subject, but when you look at the ‘big picture’ isn’t a little discomfort now, better than a big discomfort later when everyone realizes that maybe their isn’t health to be found at every size…

-Hunter

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The Pride

Take Pride in You

Take Pride in You

 

Gentlemen, once you’ve  recognized the need to destroy The Void in your heart and eradicate the The Shame from your mind by reaching out to your brethren you can then experience something which has eluded your grasp for too long, a sense of pride.

Masculinity has been under attack for so long that most men now default to not taking pride in any attribute which may bring into question their support of the feminine imperative.

I’m here to tell you – Fuck. That.

As you go through the process of reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll eventually find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with the choice of vocalizing your masculine identity or continuing on with the facade (remaining a Clown).

Brothers, I’m telling you now, after you’ve face down those dark clouds and chose to stop repressing your genuine self, you deserve to take pride in the man you’ve created. 

Choosing the comfort of the lie is so easy; it’s so fucking easy to remain comfortable and to sit there and eat what you want, never get sore, and avoid all the discomfort out there in the world; it’s so damn easy. Yet, for whatever reason, you chose to find the comfort in the discomfort of reality. You’ve chosen to express your masculine nature when everyone around you wanted you to do the opposite. You chose to invest in you and live a life as the ‘real’ you vice the scripted you.

Take pride in that brother, you deserve it.

The whole world has told you the opposite. Our society has tried to snuff out that masculine fire since you were born and at some point maybe they didbut like the Phoenix, you chose to rise from the ashes, burning hotter than ever.

You’ve been told not to be a presence, but rather to make yourself meek and unimposing. You’ve been told to refrain from being aggressive, competitive, and lustful in any way. Women have told you to share feelings, your mother has told you to be a nice boy, and teachers have told you to sit still and your limitless energy is something you need to ‘get control over’.

This went on for years and for years you learned to default your decisions and behaviors to that of a man who fit the Mold and didn’t make waves, until now.

When you face that inevitable moment where you decide weak or strong, meek or masculine remember all of the days, weeks, and years where you chose the former and look where it’s gotten you.

You’ve gone long enough beating back your true nature, you’ve repressed your genuine self long enough. For possibly the first time in your life you now have someone telling you, take pride in being a man.

Own every aspect of that newfound sense of self and let the haters watch the show you’re about to put on. While you live, they’ll comment from the sideline. Before you know it you’ll have yourself in the arena and you’ll be laughing at the man in the stands saying the day is hot.

Embrace you and when the time comes, show the true you. Tell people, “No.” when that’s the answer. Stop trying to alleviate your decision or soften the blow by proving justifiers, tell someone No and then go about your business. Own every aspect of your masculinity take pride in:

  • Your sexuality. It’s OK to want sex, take pride in that lustful fire burning in your loins.
  • Your competitive & aggressive nature. You should want to win. I’ve gotten into physical fights over games of checkers and chess – fuck it, be in it to win it.
  • Your romantic nature. Men live hard, they also love hard and have very passionate feelings towards whatever they find of value. I lose sleep some nights because I can’t stop thinking of the men who fucking hate themselves and their lives. My wife asks why I’m not in bed and I tell her my mind is full. Sometimes I’ll share a little and ask her if she knows how I can get these men to just ‘wake up’ and recognize that they are their problem and they are also their solution. She tells me I worry too much about things I can’t control, but also that she is glad her man has a fire in his heart when so many are content and numb to feeling anything or caring enough to do anything about the things that do bother them.
  • Your desire to lead. My relationship isn’t 50/50 and I’ve said that to others, it blows their fucking mind when I say that I lead my marriage. Of course they turn to my girl and challenge my statement through her and she laughs saying she loves being able to enjoy the ride while I handle business. Of course there are areas where we come together, she is a responsible woman and she has on more than 10 occasions made the better decision than what I was going to make. I listen and if she’s right I adjust to her plan, still leading the venture. When we are dead-locked I make the final call, think of it as a 51-49 relationship. Embrace your own desire, you’re a man step up and lead, stop waiting for someone to take care of you.
  • Your sense of ‘Self’. You don’t need your wife’s permission to grow a beard or mustache. At the same time, you need to make sure you aren’t just going with the easiest ‘self’ you can create. Don’t walk around saying, “My real self plays video games all day, fuck what society and women want me to do.” You have a role to fill, there’s a reason I call this blog The Family Alpha. You’re the leader of your clan, you’ve got to set the standard from which all others will be measured. Be the true you, not the lazy you and at the same time, be the you that you want to be. I have a beard, my wife told me she wasn’t a ‘beard girl’, I grew my beard anyway and guess what, now she’s definitely a ‘beard girl’. Watch what women do, never follow what they say.

The world doesn’t have to love you, you have to love you. It’s time to stop hiding from yourself and way past due for you to stop hiding yourself from the world. Own your shit, take pride in who you are and what it is you plan to do in this life. Pursue your goals and live un-apologetically. There’s no reason to be sorry for being a man, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your masculinity.

The negative feelings you have towards behaving like a man are due entirely to socially constructed ‘rules’ which are set up to keep you contained. Break free brothers and let the whole fucking world know that you are here to win.

Own it.

Acta Non Verba,

-Hunter
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The Void

Don't suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Don’t suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Are you a man that is living a lifestyle which somehow doesn’t feel quite right?

Do you feel as though there is this void, this sense of missed satisfaction and incomplete daily regret?

If you fall into this category, understand that you aren’t alone. The sense of missing something is shared by thousands, if not millions of men out there. It’s not just the married guys either; single dudes, guys in LTR’s – they all have this fucking void that they can’t fill.

I’m letting you know right now that this feeling of emptiness and this feeling of being ‘weighed down’ is a direct result of repressed masculinity. The feeling of having a weight vest on, one that prevents you from taking actions, telling jokes, achieving goals, and just barely allowing you to keep your head above water; these are the symptoms suffered by men who repress their masculinity and it isn’t going to get any better until you do something about it.

For the guys who just discovered the manosphere, it’s not your fault; the cards were stacked against you; from birth your reality and frame were stripped of you. Your life was molded by society and the white knight fucks supporting the female imperative. They gave you that mold with the warning: If you think outside this box you are wrong, ungrateful, pathetic, and weak – stay inside this box, keep your picture in this frame, and DON’T EVER CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

Sad, but true.

For the guys who have discovered the manosphere and still continue to push back against the plight faced by yourself and your fellow men, you are a fucking disgusting gender traitor. I know it sucks to have your reality shattered the way The Red Pill does so efficiently, but it is still the truth and you must find comfort in this discomfort.

Even when you fight back saying ‘masculinity’ is how guys compensate, or what the fuck ever you still know the truth and no matter how bad you want to go back to how things were when you were a comfortable nice guy, you’ll never be able to hide from the strings you see controlling the system. Men who see the truth yet continue to choose their comfortable lie still have a void, though they’ll never admit it as their ego cannot allow them to do so.

The void where regret, indecisiveness, sadness, and self loathing fester and grow is surrounded by a wall that was created by those who are looking out for themselves. The people who say you shouldn’t be confrontational, that you shouldn’t express your true desires, that you should take it all, bottle it up, and shove it deep inside – those people aren’t following that advice, they want you to do it because that supports their goals.

Here are a few truths:

  • You will never get the best of your life or your women until you accept the truth, embrace who you are as a man, and live an irrationally confident lifestyle. You have to love her the way you want to love her, not the way you think she wants to be loved.
  • You will never fill that void until you find a way to love who you are as a man. To love who you are requires you to break the mold. For guys who get it this is natural, these are the guys who are able to stand in front of a group of people, tell a joke which lands flat, lay out a witty remark, and continue to smile and grab a drink. Other men would sulk, think deeply on why the joke sucked, and the rest of the night they would be lost in their head thinking of where they went wrong and why nobody likes them. Do you see the difference? A man is happy and confident no matter what.
  • You will go to your death bed with regrets if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and start completely immersing yourself in the moments of life all the while expressing your masculine nature vice repressing it. Starting creating moments vice numbing yourself weekly with booze, TV, and scrolling on your phone looking at girls from your high-school days.
  • You cannot fill this void with any object or a woman. No female or item in the world will fill the hole your ‘genuine self‘ belongs in.

The last point is probably the most heart wrenching in my eyes. If you do not find your ‘self’ you will look back on your entire life wondering why you squandered your most precious gift away, your time. You’ll go to your deathbed with regret, wishing, “If only I could go back to when I read that post on that blog. If I had just started that day I’d of achieved so much and experienced a world of joy.

I look at the guys who are asking for help and just want to throat punch them through the screen. There are men on TRP & MRP who are looking for other men to support their decision to stay with their repetitively cheating lady; as if their world would crumble if somehow that one relationship didn’t work. If she is cheating you probably deserve it and the relationship is most likely already dead, move the fuck on and get over your relationship PTSD.

The same can be said for the guys who want to know what decisions they should make in their lives. Gentlemen, it’s your life, read the posts, blogs, and books then make the decision you feel is best going to get you to where you want to be. You have to stop making excuses to justify your mediocre existence and performance up to this point and instead claim ownership and start taking actions.

In all of these cases we see men who don’t know where they want to be, they don’t know who they are so therefore how can they plan and act in accordance with reaching that end goal?

This is why it is so oft repeated it’s about YOU. You have to know who you are and what it is you want from this life. Do you know how you find out who you are?

  1. You Lift
  2. You Read
  3. You Listen
  4. You Act
  5. You Observe
  6. You Change
  7. Disregard the un-essential

In each of these moments you will discover something about yourself. You will see where you stand physically, mentally, socially, your level of confidence, and that you aren’t perfect which is great because there is no fun to be had if there is no room to grow.

Fill that void gentlemen, stop wasting your precious time with the feeling of regret that I know creeps into your mind at night, during rides to work, and while you are alone. That isn’t how life should be lived. You do not need your wife, your house, your kids, your money, or your car – you need you.

Once you realize that if everything were to be stripped away and you’d still smile – only then can you start taking actions and leading others towards where it is you want everyone to be without the fear and void that plagues so many of our brothers. Then and only then, will your rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and soar to your greatest masculine potential.

If you are struggling in silence & only see it getting worse, please email me: TheFamilyAlpha@Gmail.Com

-Hunter
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Masculine Model #2 – Conor McGregor

In the first edition of this series I chose General Mattis (Read it here) as the best masculine role model out there. If you know anything of the man then you’re completely aware that the man embodies all of the traits a masculine man has.

In this post and from here on out I’m going to choose men who embody specific traits of the masculine male. I’m going to provide real men, not fictional characters who may set an example from which you can apply to your own life. The goal is to fight back against the Homer Simpsons, Peter Griffins, and Phil Dunphys out there.

In keeping with the tradition of this blog, I’m going to set irrational confidence as the first trait specific role model. In my post Lifting is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculinity I touch on the fact that lifting weights isn’t solely for physical health but rather it facilitates mental growth as well as developing irrational and limitless levels of self-confidence.

Gentlemen, if you are looking to get the most from this life then you need to exhibit this common traits shared amongst the most successful and masculine men out there.

Confidence

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

Irrational levels of self-confidence are crucial to the reclamation of your masculine self. This blog is mainly read by men who, for whatever reason, have fallen off the track of masculinity and are now working to find themselves again.

So I say, to the men who’ve grown their dadbod, gone months without sex, or maybe are just single and reading this to avoid any mistakes when getting into a long-term relationship you have to believe in you.

If you’re going to express your masculinity and no longer repress it then you’ve got to believe in yourself and you’ve got to believe, 100% that you are capable of doing this. The only way you can become the man you were meant to be is to commit every fiber of your being to this action. You do it by burning your ship as there is no going back.

Conor McGregor needed food stamps to eat before his UFC debut in Sweden (where he earned a bonus of $60,000 for the Knockout of the Night) this man went into that ring knowing he had shot to make a lasting first impression. After 67 seconds he had the knockout of the night, a Win, and the attention of Dana White.

This post isn’t about covering his career, it’s about showing you that you too must cultivate that same mindset when you go into everything. 

Each post I write I take on as my only shot to captivate my reader. This article is my only article some people will read, I want it to make an impact. I want to knock people out with my words and have them coming back for more, improving their own life every time they read what I have to say.

Commitment to Self & Belief in Ability to Win

Life is a game, play to Win.

Life is a game, play to Win.

This life isn’t about simply existing; it’s about finding purpose, passion, and living a life filled with plenty of Polaroids. This game of life is all you’ve got, so play to Win. Don’t be content with the meager slice society has told you to appreciate, take as much as you want as often as you want.

Men are told to take single mothers, fat women, and sexless prudes and to then shut up and be happy because. 

Most men do, and they fucking hate themselves for the rest of their life.

Take responsibility for your life, then take action as it is action, not words which leads to change and reclamation of self; Acta, Non Verba…

Don’t go into anything half-assed, commit yourself to actually giving enough of a shit to trying harder. Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say you’re trying your hardest? I doubt it as very few can.

So, start trying harder. Start making the decisions which make you a little uncomfortable, a little sore, lose a little sleep, etc.

Start implementing some intentional discomfort into your life so you stop being so damn cozy all of the time.

Total Dedication to Mission

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

MMA is Conor McGregor’s passion, his purpose and he does not let anything get in-between him and his mission in life.

You must foster this same sense of commitment in yourself.

You must have a mission in this life and your mission must not be your woman or kids. This is about the self that masculine power which is currently dormant inside your body. Wake it up, light that fire, then begin to pursue your mission.

People may say, “Well Conor McGregor doesn’t have a family to worry about.” and they’re right.

Family men do have lives they’re responsible for, I still don’t give a shit about your weak excuse to justify your mediocre performance up to this point. Stop using your family as a burden and start viewing them as fuel. They will follow your lead, so show them what a masculine man is capable of. Lead your family while writing your book, lifting your weights, and pursuing your mission. Find a way to balance them all, then execute.

Conor McGregor’s Traits

Confidence in Self: Mr. McGregor believes in Mr. McGregor, whether you do or not is something he doesn’t giving the slightest of fucks about. Don’t be the guy who says he ‘cocky’ to others or to gain favor with women. You should view that as a trait you want to wrap yourself up in and foster in your own environment. Do your thing, who gives a fuck if your neighbor ‘Steve’ thinks you doing kettlebell looks weird, you do you.

No Reservation: Conor has burned his ship on the shore, there is no retreat. You must do the same. Stop sitting on the fence as to whether you’re going to go ‘all-in’ with what I’m advising on this blog or what you’ve read on The Red Pill. Do or don’t, but stop pussy footing around making a decision and commit like a masculine man should.

Dedication to Mission: Commitment to the craft of Mixed Martial Arts is Conor McGregor’s calling, what is your’s? If you don’t know what your mission is, then why are you taking the actions you’re taking? You’ve got to step back and figure out who you are as a man and what it is you want from this life.

Do it sooner rather than later because the time is ticking and day by day you’ll have one less action you’ll be capable of performing.

-Hunter

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Xmas & NYE

Give the gift you want to give, not the one they want to get.

Give the gift you want to give, not the one they want to get.

This is my second Christmas writing on TFA. (Here’s a link to last year’s Christmas post) I’m a huge fan of the Christmas season. I know it’s commercialized as shit, but there’s something about the music, the cold, the snow, the food, the parties. Especially Christmas day, I love seeing my kids eyes light up when they see the presents, my wife getting mad I spent too much money on her but under that scowl is her blushing and a beautiful smile. I love how people come together and if even for a brief moment, life is the way it should be without distraction from this or that. We give each other our undivided attention and listen instead of waiting for our turn to talk. I aim to make every day like Christmas day (sans presents) but Christmas Eve/Day are truly an amazing time and I hope everyone is able to feel this way in their own heart and mind.

Surviving Christmas

The holiday season is upon us yet again and a lot of family men will be attending Christmas & New Year’s Eve parties in the very near future. Managing kids, time between families, and the emotional state of your own family can become quite stressful, for those who don’t have a plan.

I have found the combination of two quotes to be the perfect blend of what goes on when preparing for the ‘joy’ of taking your wife and kids from place to place with hundreds of variables requiring your attention.

1)      Failing to prepare means you’re preparing to fail

2)      With the spontaneity of the world, planning is the most destructive thing you can do.

These two quotes are at complete odds with one another, yet they perfectly capture what it’s like to lead a family during the holidays, on vacations, when attending events such as a weddings, birthday parties, etc.

As the Family Alpha, you’ve got to have a plan while being aware that your plan is completely fluid & must be adapted to the moment to moment situations & scenarios you’ll face.

There’s going to be people who’ve drank too much, people who pry and ask too many questions, people who give the kids candy when you told them not to, kids who will do what kids do yet it’s amplified in your mind as you’re trying to keep everyone on their best behavior, etc.

Can you do me a favor?

Breathe – deeper.

Life’s good man, you’ve got your wife and your kids, it’s Christmas Eve, it’s go time. Have fun with it, relax and fucking immerse in the moments.

Your family needs you to lead them through the Holiday chaos.

Your family needs you to lead them through the Holiday chaos.

Start by getting everyone on the same page. Hey guys, we’re going to go to X, then to Y, then to Z. Do you know what that requires? Get a response from them, ensure they’re aware of what is going to be required. They aren’t fully going to follow through, but at least they’ll have some sort of framework built in their head as to what’s expected, much better than winging it.

Also, if your wife is onboard with your plan, let her know what obtacles you expect to face.

  • Drunk Uncle
  • Gifts
  • Timelines
  • etc…

Most importantly, remember to let your wife know what your end goal is.

Example: I’m going to have dinner with family. I’ve made it clear that before the dinner, I don’t give a fuck what we do or where we go so long as we have what we’re bringing food-wise ready and have everyone dressed on time.

My end goal is to be home at a reasonable time (Between 7-8) as my brother in law is coming over and it is a tradition that him and I (my wife’s brother) set the gifts out, drink, and just hang out until we pass out or the sun comes up. My wife hangs with us but she’s always the first one to knock out and I’ll either wrap her up with a blanket on the couch and party around her or tuck her into bed.

Letting her know my end goal makes my wife aware that we are not playing games, drinking too much, or doing anything after the dinner. This will help me as she will start gathering the kids while I start the good byes, we’ll be out the door on time together, no issues.

Tell your wife what it is you want from the party you’re going to. Do you want to mingle with everyone or just do touch and goes then get out?

You can’t get upset at your wife for talking too much, ignoring you, or not following your game plan if you haven’t made your vision the family’s vision.

If you are dividing time between families, recognize that you guys may not have the same desires, try to accommodate everyone as best you can, but if you wife wants to have dinner at X and you want to have dinner at Y – either split up and go where you want or don’t go to either and find a third option. Neither of you can force the other to go anywhere, if you do they’ll just pout and ruin your time at the place you wanted to go, destroying the entire point of being there.

It’s ok to do things without one another, in my family we wouldn’t as we stick together but for some, just do your own thing. My wife and I are touch and go people, we visit, say hello, small talk, and then roll out.

Christmas Day is easier, people make it hard.

Don’t write any covert contracts, No, the gift you got your wife is not going to inspire some sudden transformation & submission, it’s a gift and I hope you gave it to her because you wanted to give it to her and not because you wanted something in return as that’s fucking weak.

Don’t expect some amazing gift either, just enjoy the time and company with your family.

Surviving New Year’s

Make 2017 the year you discover and display the genuine self you keep inside.

Make 2017 the year you discover and display the genuine self you keep inside.

1. The best way to make it to midnight on New Year’s is to get some quality rest on the nights leading up to it.

The way I do this is to continue lifting during the whole Christmas excitement. You’ll want to play with your new things, you’ll be excited from all of the goings on, and you’ll be mentally feeding off the energy of the season. The best way to combat that, for me at least, is to physically drain myself to fucking true exhaustion. Deadlifts, Squats, Bench, etc. I fucking kill it, I go to bed because I physically have to. The quality of sleep I get is great.

The day of New Year’s Eve I don’t lift and I don’t eat many carbs as I don’t want to crash. It’s worked so far. Solid sleep the nights before arms me with the ability to go the distance the night of the ‘big show’.

2. Save the caffeine until right before you need it. Pounding coffee all day won’t give you energy to midnight, it will give you the shits. Have a cup of coffee an hour after dinner.

I’ve seen guys take RedBulls to the face, Monsters, etc. They always end up wrecked with an upset stomach, acting like an annoying hyperactive spaz, or if they’ve been drinking doing stupid shit faster.

If you can, lay off the caffeine from the 26 to the 30th, then the night of the 31st have a cup of coffee, should do the trick.

3. Chill with the booze. How many ‘Countdowns’ have you missed because you were blacked out drunk or passed out?

Masculine men maintain control - Don't get sloppy.

Masculine men maintain control – Don’t get sloppy.

I turn 30 in February, so maybe I’m getting old. But, drinking isn’t as fucking cool as it used to be. I’ve missed a lot of shit because I was either blacked out and don’t remember or I fell asleep from drinking too much.

I still drink, but not like I used to because I realized, drunk does not equal fun. I used to think more booze meant more smiles, that’s not the case and to be honest, it’s not very masculine.

Masculine men know their limit and they don’t cross it as they don’t ever want to lose composure and come across as sloppy. That’s one of the worst things you can be, that sloppy guy who slurs, spills shit, has swings of emotions, etc.

Be a man, limit your intake and set a slow pace throughout the night. Make it to midnight as the man walking among boys. While the rest fall out, show that you can go the distance, be the one who is still able to kiss his girl into the New Year.

4. Kids. They need a parent to not forget they exist just because a party is going on.

My kids are 7 & 4, they’re going to be bouncing off the wall with the energy of the environment. What my wife and I have done is limit the desserts people funnel them (knock that shit off, food does not equal love) and ensure that they are drinking more water than juice throughout the night. Hydrated kids who aren’t filled with sugar and processed shit will pass out with relative ease.

Tuck them into somewhere quiet yet accessible so you can hear if they get up, if you’re at a party or hotel or wherever that isn’t home, waking up in a new place can be scary.

After the ball drops and you kiss your woman, go in and kiss your babies. You don’t have to wake them, but don’t forget about them. It’s just a digit on a calendar which changes, but there’s something special about knowing you started the year with a kiss. I’ve kissed my wife and kids into the New Year for as long as I can remember, give yourself that Polaroid.

5. Recognize you might be cranky the next day. People staying up past their bed time drinking, dancing, singing, etc. That is a great night, it’s not always a great morning.

Red men go to bed late & rise early, there's no rest for the Wicked.

Red men go to bed late & rise early, there’s no rest for the Wicked.

When you do your morning negative visualizations, remind yourself that you’re going to run into some overtired people and you too may be a little more irritable than usual. Just like when your wife is PMS’ing, you’ve got to cater your approach to everyone. There’s no need to start 2017 with everyone going after each other’s throats.

Be the leader of your family, keep everyone cool and at a 2 (3 tops). You see someone rising to level 10, shut it down with a reminder of how awesome the night was and divert their attention away from the annoyance.

Keep all of this in mind and you’ll start the New Year out right.

Happy New Year’s,
Hunter

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Queen & Warrior

In marriage you need a woman who can handle shit the way you'd want her to without having to hold her hand.

In marriage you need a woman who can handle shit the way you’d want her to without having to hold her hand.

Women are submissive by nature and in a healthy marriage a wife will defer to her man when confrontation is required. When vetting your woman, look for her submissive nature while at the same time looking to ensure she’s a strong woman.  My wife submits to me alone, I don’t need her strong in the sense that I need constant support as I’m her Lover, her King – not her child. Look for strength in your woman in the sense that she can be a badass bitch who can lead when you’re not around.

This is a story of a woman who had to go into battle without her husband, a woman who had to stand her ground while her man was at war, the man who is normally both the shield and spear of his family.

About two months ago I was reading The Nine Laws by Ivan Throne when I came across this quote:

“The voice of his mother, which used to sing to him and lull him to sleep as one of the sweetest sounds of the universe, was now silent. There was only the great effort of slowly mouthing words, beginning the long and exhausting process of teaching the boy to lip read as if his life depended on it… and it did.”

I was sitting in my recliner while my daughter was drawing, son was writing, wife was reading, & dog was by my side – and my entire world came to a halt. I put the book down and just looked at my son, then at my wife.

Queen

You see, when my son was a few months (maybe a year) old he started to get ear infections. This went on for a little while then it just stopped, we thought we were in the clear. Then one day he started acting ‘off’,  my wife brought him to the Doctors and they told her he was teething, no ear infection.

It’s important to note that I was in the Navy during all of this. I was in and out of the country at a high tempo and it was on my wife to handle finances, our new son, and living on her own. When I came home from one underway I noticed the change in my son. My wife told me of the hospital results and as new parents we listened.

Then one day it got worse…

My wife brought him back to the doctors after a few months of this and told them of the sleepless nights, the delay in reaching ‘speech milestones’ and the pain he was in.

Tests were done and a result came back saying that he must be sick or is having a hard time with teething, but there was no ear infection. I remember getting the emails from her (I was out to sea again) telling me what was going on, the test results, the actions she was taking, etc.

I felt helpless as I was thousands of miles away, in the middle of the ocean, while my wife was alone and my son was in pain – it was frustrating; but my duty was to my country and I told her that there was no way for me to come home early. I had a job to do and as fucked up as some may think it is, in that life it goes Navy then Family.

Warrior

Upon recognizing the reality of the situation and that her man wasn’t here to fight this battle, my wife took matters into her own hands. She went back to the hospital, with my son screaming in pain, and planted her battle flag.

It was the flag which held my crest & name of my clan and then there was my wife, representing myself and my heir, standing at that hospital with her fucking war face on.

She requested the tests, when denied as they’d ‘already been run’ she demanded them be run again. She then told the nurses, Doctors, and whoever would listen that she was not leaving until my son was treated.

They ran the tests.

Results came back.

My son had an undiagnosed double ear infection. This ear infection had gone untreated for months and in that time it had wreaked havoc inside my son’s ears. His speech delay was because he was deaf, our boy couldn’t hear the world around him and we didn’t even know it.

Flash back to 2016, I’m sitting in my recliner and my world has stopped. As I’m looking at my son I realize, the passage I just read could have been written by him, then I look at my wife and realize it would have been him if it wasn’t for her.

Wife

My wife saved my son from the silent world. She saved him from a very challenging life because she was able to put her armor on, draw a line in the sand, step over it, and plant her flag telling the world, “I am not going to back down from this, submit to my demands or be destroyed.” She forced compliance.

I will never forget this. I came home from my underway and she told me what it is she had done. I was a proud man and had a newfound respect for this woman who took my last name.

Since then, we have had to go through speech therapy, multiple sets of tubes, and other steps to treat the damage. I remember the first time we went to the beach after having tubes put in, he was scared of the waves because every time before that day, they were silent; now he could hear them crash. My wife almost cried and I almost did too, not because of what had happened, but because I was able to appreciate the little things he could now hear. The sound of waves, a bird overhead, music…

My son is now a strong, intelligent, and popular kid who is able to hear the sound of his mother’s voice, the sound of his father’s lessons, and the pride in his younger sister’s voice as she follows him around.

Lover

My woman didn’t fall apart when I wasn’t around. She didn’t crumble under the stress of running a household as a single parent while I was out with my brothers in arms, taking on a different fight. She knew I had a job to do and she knew she did too, so she did it. Because of her commitment to our clan, she didn’t run to mom or dad, she didn’t sulk and cry, an she didn’t just accept ‘No.’ as an answer. My son can hear and it is the direct result of action taken by my lover, my warrior, my Queen, my wife.

Hunter

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Creator of Life

When I had kids I knew my life had changed forever - I was fucking pumped.

When I had kids I knew my life had changed forever – I was fucking pumped.

This is a continuation of my Burden of Family post.

A friend of mine, the creator of the blog Unlocking the Crown recently returned home after his wife delivered triplets. We spoke a few times while his wife was sleeping still in the hospital and I could feel the masculine energy flowing through him. Here he was riding on X minutes of sleep, taking care of his wife, 3 babies, and everything else required to make the transition from hospital to home go as smooth as possible and when we spoke it was like it was just another fucking day.

Aside from my wife, he’s the only person who knows of my blog in my ‘real’ life. So, naturally we touched on the subject of masculinity and fatherhood. During the discussion he said something which inspired this post, he said is isn’t hard managing all of this because these are his kids and that’s his wife, and he was a part of making this happen.

Complete ownership. If you’re going to have kids then you’re going to have to fill the role required of you when the kids show up.

If you’re a father then you played a role in creating life and that means something. No matter how awesome or awkward and uncomfortable the sex was, you had it and a baby was the result. I don’t care if it’s with your wife or with a one night stand; if you played a role in creating a life, then you need to assume the responsibilities that come with the title Father.

You’re poor?  I don’t care.

You’re Young? I don’t care.

You’re really busy? I don’t care.

You didn’t want it? I. Don’t. Care.

You see, as a father I understand the magnitude that comes with raising a life in this day and age. I have two children, a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl and both are in the process of becoming productive, educated, intelligent, good members of our society.

I became a father because my wife and I chose to have a kid, then we did. We made the decision again, and had another; now we’re good.

There is no difference between what is expected of me, a 29 year old married man and the 16 year old boy who just knocked up his freshman sweetheart.

You do your fucking best. You remain as present as you can and you provide the necessities. If the mother wants to be a bitch about it then you get legal documentation which clearly draws the boundaries for time, supervision, requirements, etc.

I don’t live in a fantasy world where kids aren’t having unprotected sex, I know that it’s going to happen, I know right now some kid is hitting it raw dog and doesn’t know enough to pull out because it feels to good and in September he’s going to see a ball of flesh coming out of where he was cumming in.

My aim with this blog isn’t to fight teen sex; part of my goal with this blog is to provide a resource that will raise the standard of men who will then act as an example for the young men in their life. If you act like a masculine man then the boys around you will act like and become masculine men. When they purposefully or accidentally have a child, they’ll act as a masculine man does – complete ownership.

Single Gents

You don't need a Queen to be a King. You don't need a wife to be a father.

You don’t need a Queen to be a King. You don’t need a wife to be a father.

Had sex with the girlfriend or or one night stand and got her pregnant? She (you both) decided to keep the baby?

Cool, it’s dad time.

*Do not think that because you got this woman pregnant that now you have to marry her.

If it was a one night stand, you need to let her know to keep you in the loop. Maybe you’ll try and go steady and figure a way to become an LTR or maybe you’ll just stay in touch over baby things. Both are acceptable options, the key point is you need to know what’s going on with the baby. 

For the one night stand or girlfriends alike, ensure you’re aware of doctor’s appointments, any complications, preparations for where the baby will live, getting stuff together for the arrival, planning for names, etc. You’re a part of all of this and the best thing you can do is remain civil with this woman. You may not know her at all, start discussing family history, finances, plans, etc.

Don’t kick this can down the road even once, start having the conversations early and often. Keep her on Team You the last thing you need is this chick disappearing or turning against you.

Once the baby has arrived, make yourself a part of it’s upbringing. If that means every other week or whatever so be it, but make yourself a part of this child’s life from the onset and continue to do so throughout all the years.

Married Dad-Bod Beta Schlups

Fuck the Dad Bod - I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

Fuck the Dad Bod – I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

You’re the group that really needs the most work. I’ve seen fat, disgusting, weak dads ‘being one of the girls’ with the other moms at the football, baseball, and soccer games and practices I have led.

Understand this now, your child is going to follow your example not your advice.

Being out of shape, trying to keep up with the trends of society, having no hobbies other than sedentary TV time – is that what you want for your kid?

Your dead-bedroom or 1x a week sex life is pathetic, your wardrobe is pathetic, you aren’t happy even though you try to convince yourself you are, and your physical limitations due to poor health choices have you unable to raise your kids to becoming healthy productive embers of society.

When you have kids, you’ve removed ‘Zero Days’ from your life. You need to be the example from which they will measure their performance physically, educationally, spiritually, etc. Being a fat slob tells your kids that when they get married or have kids that they should get fat too.

Start trying again, get back to giving a fuck about life. Treat your wife like you did when she was your girlfriend, treat your children as pupils who you’ve got to to train for life, and treat yourself as an ever improving project that always has an aspect tat needs to be work on, honed, and improved.

Masculine Men

Lead your children through life

Lead your children through life

You’re on your game, you’re following your mission, you look good, sex is great, life is solid, and you’re pursuing improvement both personally and professionally.

The biggest concern I have with my fellow masculine brethren is that they get too Mission Focused grinding day in and day out to improve and raise their standard that they don’t make ‘family’ time a slot in their schedule.

Men grind day in and day out, trying to build their side hustle to something more. But, at what expense?

You can’t put your family before your mission, at the same time you’ve got to make time for them. Steve Jobs is an excellent example of this. The dude could have made his family a part of his mission and it probably would have benefiited him and improved his leadership skills. Instead, he disowned his daughter as she was an inconvenience to his pursuit of Apple greatness.

You need to follow your mission in life, but when you become a father you need to look at the opportunity cost and recognize that the time you invest in your child is not wasted time.

Make them a part of your mission and you’ll find it leads to you becoming even more efficient at leading your family. Get them on-board your plan and share your vision with them, let them see the how and why you do what you do.

When they understand why you grind you’ll find that they support you and defend you from others. Your kids will say my dad’s not here because he’s working on X. Or your wife will say, when some bitch tries making a remark on your absence, that at least her man has passion in life and is pursuing dreams.

They’ll support you if you make them a part of the greatness you’re chasing.

All Dads

Fill your role

Fill your role

There are too many children out there who don’t have a masculine father figure in their life. Having a blue pill ‘plugged in’ father is better than nothing, but a child will reach the fullest development when they are raised by the balance of the masculine and feminine.

Fill your role, be the child’s shield and spear, protecting it from the world while fighting off all who threaten it’s existence.

Similar to being in shape, 90% of the battle is just showing up. Show up, you’ll figure the rest out as you go. Keep piece with the mother and if that isn’t going to work then legally ensure your rights are represented and documented.

This child needs you, it’s time to step up brother.

Hunter

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Negative Visualizations

When I was 5 years old my mother committed suicide. This left my father to raise me and my 3 year old twin brother/sister on his own. My dad was a Navy man; always in and out then deploying. He needed a caretaker so we went to live with my grandmother.

She was a strict woman who lived through the Great Depression. As I grew up she instilled discipline, a ‘never quit’ work ethic, and appreciation. It’s the appreciation aspect I’m writing about in this post, as losing my mother and not having a father around combined with the instruction from my Grandmother created a man who has learned to truly immerse in and appreciate each moment.

The Red Pill introduced me to Stoicism and Stoicism introduced me to Negative Visualizations. Negative Visualizations was a mental tool I naturally developed, but learning it had a name enables me to relay the message a little more clearly to others.

I start every morning by waking up and taking a moment to think on and inventory my life. I do this through performing negative visualizations immediately after waking up. I visualize that my wife and kids die on this day. I let the pain fully wash over me, I feel it in my heart, my mind, and my entire ‘self’. Then, I slowly bring myself back, I dial my mind in and remind myself that my wife is next to me, breathing softly, beautiful as ever. I remind myself that my kids are asleep in their beds, innocent, pure, and alive.

I get out of bed, do the morning routine, and before I leave I always tell my wife and kids that I love them, because I do and I’m aware of how lucky I am to still have them in my life. Kissing your child’s forehead means more when you know it could be the last time.

I appreciate each moment with them more because I’ve made myself feel the pain of losing their presence in my life.

Life is not guaranteed, yet people live as though they have all the time in the world.

In my post Intentional Discomfort I wrote about removing comforts from your life so you truly appreciate them. Warm water, your phone, your bed, etc.

It isn’t practical to ‘remove your wife and kids’ so you have to do it through a sort of ‘thought experiment’. Remove them in your mind, remove their smells, their smiles, their voices and laughs, all of them. Immerse in the void you create in your heart, soak in the abyss and feel the pain. Now, bring them back to life. 

Tell me that this doesn’t make you smile just a little bit more when you see them. Tell me that it doesn’t make you want to put the phone down and get on the floor with your kid and play.

We’re so caught up in the hustle of modern living that we are getting distracted from what matters most, the time we have with those we love.

This goes beyond family; I perform negative visualizations with every day life. I’ve visualized my wife cheating, I’ve visualized being doxxed, I’ve visualized getting fired, I’ve visualized crashing my Jeep, etc.

This prepares me for the moment when something does happen I’m not caught off guard, unable to cope or perform. I’ll have a rough game plan as to what I need to do because I’ve already played it out in my mind.

Don’t get it twisted, I don’t mope around all day thinking of terrible things that could happen. Just recognize that you should periodically immerse in a shitty scenario and ensure you’ve got the fortitude to not only handle it but rather come out on top.

I love my wife, if she were to cheat I’m ready for it and will survive.

I love my children to death, but if they were to die I’ll know I gave them everything and that I was in all of our moments together.

I’ll go to my deathbed without regret because I make sure I appreciate the moments I have with those I love. I Hang my Polaroids and I prepare myself mentally to react to the chaos that we call life.

The ancient Stoics had it right, if you’d like to read more on Stoicism here are my recommendations:

 Letters From a Stoic: Seneca

 Marcus Aurelius: Meditations

The Discourses of Epictetus

 The Enchiridion: Epictetus (Shortened version of Discourses)

 A Guide to the Good Life: William Braxton Irvine

 The Obstacle is the Way: Ryan Holiday

I’ve read all of these books and each has added to my ‘mental toolbox’. We need to remind ourselves that we need to be as equally strong in our mind as we are in our body.

Developing this mental strength requires training and negative visualizations are one such exercise which will lead to a stronger, more fortified masculine mind.

Hunter

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The Burden of Family

Nick Kelly recently released a Podcast [Listen Here].

In the Podcast he answers the question as to whether he’ll get married or into an LTR and have kids. He says(paraphrased), “no, not now – possibly not ever.” He then goes on to discuss how he puts work before all else and all of the married men & fathers he knows have lost their fire.

When I heard this I nodded in agreement as having a family does reduce a man’s output. I let the thought go and listened to the rest of the audio clip which conveniently ended right before I finished my commute from work.

I didn’t come back to this topic until I was laying down with both of my kids. I had intended to work on editing the TFA book, but both my son and daughter came up to me right before I was going to put them down for a nap (we had a late party to attend that night) and they asked if we could have a ‘family nap’(think Willy Wonka’s grandparents, everyone in the bed nappingbasically I’ll nap with them, one on each side – me in the middle.

My immediate instinct was to say “No” as I had edits to do, but I thought of all the other times where I’ve said No the past 2 weeks because I was studying for finals, knocking out assignments, writing posts, etc.

So I said, “Yes.”

While lying there I thought of Nick Kelly’s point on Work. I was also thinking of how there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be than laying on that bed with both of their little heads on my chest listening to them lightly snoring, in rhythm. I thought of how choosing to nap with them over editing was me placing the ‘work’ I had to do with them over the work I had to do on the book.

I caught myself thinking of this/that and intentionally forced myself to immerse in the now. Hearing their snores, their soft hair, the warmth from their little bodies, my mind was warmed by the comfort & joy that comes from knowing your kids still need you.

I won’t have these moments for much longer and that’s a sobering thought. My son is becoming a man, more and more independent with each passing day. Same with my daughter, I find her asking for help less and less with the passing months.

I chose this life; I purposely chose the grind of fatherhood knowing that by doing so, I’d become a less productive individual with regard to my own pursuits.

But that’s the point; their development, upbringing, and life experiences have become a part of my work.

This is an aspect of fatherhood & marriage that is lost on many men. They view their wife and kids as a burden, they think they would be better if only they were single.

This is a flawed mentality and it is where the FAMILY aspect of being a Family Alpha comes into play.

Nick Kelly can travel to anywhere at anytime he chooses. Illimitable Man can pump out a high workload of writing without having to worry about dedicating time to others. Some men view them with envy, wishing “if only I weren’t married with kids” as if their failure to perform has to do with their life status.

Married men and fathers, look upon your wife & kid(s) as fuel, not an anchor. Recognize that your role in life is different than the single guys out there. They can travel in a moments notice while you are raising the next generation of men and women who will raise the standard of masculinity and femininity in our society.

When you create a pathway to act as your son’s Rite of Passage you are doing your work as a masculine man. When you lead your wife to staying in shape, being a freak in the sheets, and allowing her to fill her feminine role you are doing your work as a man. Most of the work done by the Family Alpha’s out there is done in silence. We are the Silent Professionals of the Manosphere; the men who write on our blogs when the family has gone to sleep, in between activities with the kids, or while a wife is talking to us and seeking guidance.

We are the men who have to wake up earlier to get time alone and stay up later to get edits done. We make time to lift, read, and write while also leading a wife, educating our children, and ensuring the entire clan is truly living, getting the most of their days, and Hanging Polaroids.

We not only have to maintain our own standard but we must also maintain the standard of those whom we lead. Masculine men walk their path alone, stop looking at other men and comparing your life to their’s, because they aren’t looking over at you. Masculine men invest their time in improving themselves and putting in work, stop wasting time with the envy or playing the ‘if only‘ game. Single vs married vs parent with regards to masculinity is a fucking retarded comparison to make. Men aren’t more or less masculine because of their relationship status and whether they’ve reproduced or not. All that matters is the man alone, so stop looking for excuses as to why you aren’t performing as a masculine man should.

You’ve got work to do; married or a parent it makes no difference, you need to set the bar from which excellence will be measured. Take what you’ve got and make it the greatest it can be. Your wife and kid, they’re a part of your work as a man, so invest the time to lead them and don’t think for a second they are an acceptable excuse for your failure to perform; they’re a part of your performance.

Your wife is a reflection of your performance as a man, your Sons and Daughters are a reflection of your performance as a man. Your ‘self’ grows when you take on the responsibility of others (wife) or when you decide to create a life (Kids). They are now extensions of you and are equally important in regards to development and caring for as you would your ‘self’.

If you’re a FAMILY Alpha, then you need to view these extensions of self as motivation to push forward. You may not produce as much as you’d like, that’s fine as it shows you have hunger. Don’t let it get you down, instead let it be the fuel which causes you to rise to new heights. Family men are forced to be better with regards to time management. If you aren’t hitting your personal goal of productivity, take a look at how your normal day plays out and find the time sinks then remove them.

Sacrificing sleep may be necessary, just ensure you’re doing all of this for you and not because you feel you need to keep up with other guys. Do your thing and everything will be alright; never accept mediocrity, refuse to reward failure, and do not allow yourself to be come complacent. Periodically insert some Intentional Discomfort in your life and be objectively honest with yourself when you ask the question, “Am I really doing the best I can?”

Hunter

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Burn Your Ship

You must be fully dedicated to this process, how bad do you want it?

You must be fully dedicated to this process, how bad do you want it?

The most crucial aspect to reclaiming your masculine nature is committing to something with every fiber of your being. You have to want to improve and take responsibility for your life so bad that you’re willing to jump without knowing where you’ll land, you have to put yourself in a very vulnerable position where you’re either going to win or you’re going to get fucking wrecked.

This is the masculine way, this is how men commit to goals they are passionate about and what could you be more passionate about than saving yourself and taking control over the brief life you have on this planet?

It seems easy, yet can you remember the last time you did not back down to avoid confrontation? Many men can’t think of a time where they took an action or they took a stance, yet they left just a little bit of doubt or ‘self’ behind just in case they were wrong or needed to retreat. It’s a sad fact I’m not proud of, but I know men who have never stood their ground and committed & defended their stance or opinion on a matter – not once in their life have they planted their feet and refused to accept anything but victory.

Brothers, this is exactly what you must do when you make the decision to reclaim your masculine nature. You’ve got to go into that decision with everything you have, leaving nothing behind, no hesitation, doubt, or fear this decision is not one which can be made halfheartedly; you are in or you are out: all or nothing.

The guys who took the advice of the Manosphere and left saying it was bullshit are the guys who half assed their commitment to the act of becoming a man again. They can’t say the Manosphere is bullshit because what they did was not what the Manosphere told them to do. If you can’t commit to the program, then you never followed the program. It isn’t the fault of the masculine pipeline that you’re too weak or you’re too fucking afraid to let go of the system that has feminized you and kept you safe inside the mold it made for you..

The guys who don’t commit their entire ‘self’ to the transformation, they never make it. You have to be 100% ready to own your fucking life, if you give 80% it’s not enough. Leaving that 20% behind leaves 20% of you to fall back if times get rough. When you have an escape route, you’ll never commit 100% to the attack, you’ll never tap into that ‘do or die’ mindset and because of this, you’ll revert back to who you were.

This is it, you've committed & there's no turning back.

This is it, you’ve committed & there’s no turning back.

There is no retreat, there is no returning to who you once were. When you see the strings which control those around you, you can never unsee them. Understand that once you start the voyage to reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll never return to who you were, no matter how bad you want to. So choose to do something you haven’t done in years, something you’ve possibly never done in your fucking life – give every shred of who you are to the act of improving yourself, owning your life, and taking responsibility for where you are and what you have or have yet to achieve in this life.

It isn’t the fault of your mother, brother, wife, or friends. No, it’s your fault that you became weak, fat, and sensitive; if you want to make a change then you need to stop lashing out at those around you and recognize that you need to look inside and accept responsibility for all of it.

This is your fucking life, you are the only one who is with you for the entire ride. Now you need to dig fucking deep and find comfort in the discomfort of reality. When you calm the fuck down and you’re able to feel that fire growing inside I want you to turn inward, grab the spark of masculinity which is trying to break through and you fucking fan that flame until there is a god damn bon fire in your heart and soul – then you act.

You make one small act today, then another. Draw a boundary here, lead there, and challenge yourself over and over again. Sharpen your mind and as you progress your body will catch up. Make yourself hard, make yourself a leader, and in time you’ll make yourself a man again.

There is no going back, and this is why you must burn that fucking ship on those foreign shores. You will die here before you retreat home. You will win this battle against yourself or you will fucking die trying. If you quit or save that ship and use it to retreat, you’ll be left forever afloat in the abyss of what could have been – alone, depressed, resentful…

If you burn your ship on the shores of masculinity, you remove that disgraceful fate.

You have to stand your ground; you have to tell your wife and friends “No.” from time to time. When the whole world is telling you that they don’t like muscles and you should just have a little snack you’ve got to accept they are against your progress. They want you to do well, but never better than them. You’ve got to look at your wife and recognize she will never love you the way you love her.

You’ve got to set yourself up for success by removing the possibility of failure. There is no failure if you remain committed to who you are as a man. You marriage may fail, you may have to cut friends and family out of your life, and you may take a financial hit in the process, but none of that matters so long as you are pursuing your mission in this life.

I write, I write because if I don’t get these thoughts out of my head I will go mad. I need to release the pressure; I do it through this blog. When I don’t write & lift I feel anxious, irritable, frumpy, and unmotivated. That’s my thing. If I were to lose my wife, lose friends and family, and lose some net worth I would still write and lift. This is my mission and there’s no turning back from it.

You must find a reason to improve, a reason to embrace your masculine nature and place it above all else. It is this reason that you will return to time and again as the nights get cold and lonely. It is this reason that you get to the gym even though you’re sore. It’s this reason that helps you find the will to push forward when every other part of your body and mind are telling you to take a rest, to stay still…to stop.

For most men, this comes after the marriage has failed, they recognize right before divorce how much of a pussy they’ve been and now they’re going to do it different. They are going to live life on their terms because now they don’t have to answer to their wife.  What they miss and what I am trying to get you to understand is that you can take this action at any point in time. You’ve never needed your wife’s permission to live life as a masculine man.

You don’t need the permission of society, friends, or family to follow your mission in this life.

You are here to conquer, not to visit temporarily.

You are here to conquer, not to visit temporarily.

Make the decision to live life as a masculine male. Stop bottling up your desires and genuine nature, stop sitting on the fucking fence thinking, yeah, I’d love to have better sex but I don’t want to have to be mean to get it or yeah, I’d love to be a jacked guy but being fat is so much easier.

You fucking pussy, find your fucking balls and recognize that there will be times where you have to put yourself first and piss some people off and be UNcomfortable.

There will be times where you have to get up and go when all you want to do is sit or lay down.

There will be times where the truth of reality is so incredibly painful and disappointing and the comfort of the lie is such an easy choice…Brothers, you have to force yourself to continue to walk through the storm instead of finding shelter.

You must find comfort in that discomfort and you must do so with your full commitment. You are not only committing to being a masculine man but you’re also committing to never returning to the previous version of who you were.

Burn the ship, prepare to face your enemy and remember you have to win because there’s no other choice.

– Hunter

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