The Trident of Masculinity

Authentic masculine expression comes from the harmonization of the three different ‘selves‘ which exist inside each man.

These three selves are the:

  1. Physical Self
  2. Mental Self
  3. Spiritual Self

Like any tripod these legs are all independent of one another yet are entirely dependent on the supporting strength the other two provide.

If you are looking to live the most optimal of lives and achieve the greatest sense of physical strength, mental joy, and spiritual satisfaction, then each of these aspects to who you are as a man must be cultivated and a balance must be struck between them.

Have you seen the gurus who are entirely spiritual, yet would never be able to lift their fellow man if he were to fall as he simply does not have the strength?

What about the brilliant minds who can understand the most complex of formulas yet lack any ability to connect with those around them as they simply cannot tap into the spiritual connection which exists amongst all living things?

Lastly, have you seen the man who sculpts his body to replicate that of a Greek god yet he cannot tell you the last book he read or education he pursued?

These are simple stereotypes which I can find plenty of people who break the caricature, but you get my point. More often than naught, a man is exceptional in only one area or none at all.

So how do you develop these three different aspects of the ‘self’? How do you reach and maintain harmonious levels within your heart, mind, and soul?

You know the answer, it’s always the same.

Hard Work

You don’t just get the life that you want, you’ve got to work for it. Nobody is going to hand you anything, you aren’t just going to become more intelligent, healthier, or happier by willing it.

No, you’re going to have to make yourself uncomfortable and you’re going to have to do the things you’ve been putting off.

This is the entire premise of my book 31 Days to Masculinity. When I wrote that month long program the aim wasn’t to get men laid or help them reveal their six pack.

Instead, I focused on the entirety of the man to help him rebuild himself without the influence of a weaksauce society. Similar to the 21 Convention, I set the goal of helping men develop every aspect of who they were, developing the ‘Ideal’ man as Anthony Johnson puts it.

This is why the book sends each man on a different journey, what he has to do to get himself to optimal living if different than what you’ll have to do. Each journey is unique, but there are some universal overlaps and that is what this essay is about.

When you work to develop your physical, mental, and spiritual self you’ll find that the challenges you face, the pieces you find easier/more difficult, and final results are going to be entirely unique to you. Yet, the other men who also go through this transformation will understand exactly what you feel as they’ll of experienced the same thing, differently.

Physical

Without resistance, the body will not grow. Without putting stress on the body, you’ll never be able to appreciate the beauty of it nor will you ever know what it is capable of.

There are plenty of men out there who watch movies and think to themselves, if that happened to me I’d rise to occasion.

If you’re one of those guys, I’d like to ask you, why do you think you can do those things, have you practiced any of them? Have you put yourself in those situations in a training environment? Or, as is the case with most, you just assume you’ve got the natural skillsets to do what takes others years to achieve at the whim of fortune?

Our body adapts to the stress placed on it. I’m not going to tell you what it is that you must create with regards to programming as I know nothing about you. You’re reading my blog and are a man, that’s all I know at this moment.

Here is what I can tell you. Weight lifting and strength training as a whole are instrumental in an overall development of the physical self.

You must lift weights.

I don’t care what your program is, I don’t care if you choose to implement a mixed martial art or running, and I don’t care the frequency, intensity, or preference you may have. Lift weights, get active, and ensure that you’re putting your body in motion and that you’re recording your results so that you can look at trend analysis and adjust the programming accordingly for the most efficient means of training without injury.

Remember, you cannot ‘out exercise‘ a bad diet.

This means that you must pay considerably more attention to what it is that you’re putting into your body.

Proper nutritional programming is essential for sustained superior output. Again, I don’t give a shit what your diet looks like so long as you’re ensuring it is high quality and conducive to a healthy body. Your physical, mental and spiritual self are completely dependent upon what it is they are using for energy.

TL;DR: Put good fuel into your body.

Do not let focus on the food cause an oversight on the importance of the fluids you’re consuming. Water is essential, it is the only thing that you have to have, all else is optional. Some find supplementing their water with electrolytes or other vitamins helps keep the intake from feeling monotonous. It’s much easier to drink a gallon of water a day if you’re enjoying each sip.

It is this combination of proper stress, fuel, and hydration that you’ll crate your most optimal physical self, and each of those also plays into the health and capability of your mental self.

Mental

It seems to me that the majority of men out there know that their minds are in shambles, yet they have no fucking clue how to fix it. So they add more to it, create more stuff, and fill it with more thinking that they’re lacking in something.

Gentlemen, I will tell you now, you do not need more, you need less.

In order to reach the greatest heights and develop the strongest mental ‘self’ you can, you’ve got to remove the unessential. Get rid of the shit that is clogging up your daily life. Not just inside your head, but the environment in which your head spends its time as well.

There is a reason I deleted my Facebook.

I could make more $$$ if I went onto that platform with TFA, but there is no fucking way because Facebook bogs my mind down. Seeing people ‘act‘ happy, while living miserable lives was driving me insane. Instead of keeping fakebook to stay in touch with my Navy brothers across the country, I just deleted it.

What’s the point?

I chose facebook as my example because that is what a lot of people find themselves getting caught up on.

You’re watching other people do shit and comparing your life to theirs and it is absolutely detrimental to your mental well-being.

It doesn’t have to be facebook though, your mental clutter could be:

  1. Seeking approval from your parents.
  2. Keeping the wife happy
  3. Playing it ‘safe‘ and doing what you’re “supposed” to do
  4. Keeping up with the Jones’s
  5. Trying to control things you have no control over
  6. Giving Time Vampires your most valuable resource – Your Time
  7. Confusing accumulation of ‘stuff‘ as accumulation of happiness
  8. Identifying with MSM or Politics
  9. Avoiding confrontation with who you are vs who you want to be
  10. Living in the mold created by society

Each of these things plagues plugged-in men in society, some more than others. The fact is, until you tackle whatever issues you’ve built in your mind, you’ll never achieve the optimal level of mental health.

I’m not happy all of the time, but I’m a happy dude. I’m happy because there is no clutter in my mind anymore.

How did I reach this point?

I faced my demons head on

Not only did I go through and delete people, things, stuff from my life which I did not find value, but I also removed physical pieces of ‘stuff’ from my home.

If there is clutter in your bedroom, how can you sleep peacefully?

If your writing area is a mess, how can you remain focused when writing?

If your living room looks like it came from a magazine, how can you say it represents who you are as a man?

You don’t have to live life as a minimalist, but more does not equal better. You should be able to look at everything in your home and know its purpose and value to your life immediately. If you don’t know why you have three different sets of fine china or why you have so many photos and paintings on your walls, remove them.

It’s ok for walls and horizontal surfaces to be bare.

You decide if your house is a home.

You have to take that same approach to what is going on between your ears. Let the mind freely wander and as you find old grudges, resentment, fears, desire to please others, etc. Throw it out.

You’re done with it, you’ve made it this far but you aren’t going any further so long as you carry this excess mental baggage around.

Toss it

Watch how much lighter your mental self feels once you face these things and remove them, watch how much more you smile.

People said I was insane and weird for deleting facebook. As soon as I did it I realized how many friends I didn’t have and it was liberating.

There is a reason I’ve been able to avoid the pitfalls which are so often associated with marriage and fatherhood.

I don’t play by the same rules as others and my mental self is flourishing because of it. Give yourself that gift, give yourself the gift of freedom to live authentically. Once you establish these new habits while removing the old toxic ones, you’ll find that you’re not only happier, but more connected to not only your true ‘self’, but also your fellow man and your environment as a whole.

This is where the spiritual self is found, this is the aspect of man that the world admires, other men respect, and women will never truly understand.

Spiritual

The most recent example of a man combining the three aspects of his masculine self can be seen in the Las Vegas shooting.

You see, this goes beyond specific religions; it is the spiritual aspect of our masculinity which makes us appreciate the beautiful delicacy of a flower, the innocence of children, the godlike power of the feminine, the brotherhood among all men, and the human connection between all people.

In my recent essay A Beautiful Suicide I wrote about Sonny Melton, a man who heard gunshots and did not panic (His Mental Self Was Strong), so he wrapped himself around his wife as they ran from the shooting (His Physical self was strong) he was shot and killed, his wife lived. Something we have to recognize, was his decision to put her out of harm’s way, his decision that if someone was going to die, it was going to be him, this shows that his Spiritual self was strong.

The same goes for Taylor Winston, the Marine who stole a truck to save lives. His Mental made the decision to steal the truck, Physical enabled him to move bodies, but it was his Spiritual which propelled him to act and save others instead of just himself in the first place. Without a healthy balance between the three, this man would remain unknown and at least 30 more people would be dead.

  • Men are disposable
  • Men carry the burden of performance
  • Women and Children get on lifeboats before men

We are ok with all of this because we see the beauty and value there is in those who bring life into the world and we know that if there is anyone who is going to have a fighting chance to survive the shots, sinking of a ship, or fight it is going to be a man.

A man is willing to die for what it is he believes in. A man is going to reach out to complete strangers and dedicate his time and energy to their success because he feels the connection all men share. What do you think The 21 Convention was all about?

The speakers there gave very valuable time pro bono to help their fellow man because they give a shit about the mission.

When I’m in my Jeep I’ll often lose myself to just feeling the breeze and cruising, no music (sometimes it’s level 10 – not always) while other times I’ll appreciate the flavor of a whiskey, the sound of my kids laughter and screaming as they pile out of the house to open my Jeep door and greet me.

We’re all connected and I’d argue men are more empathetic, while delivering in a much harsher tone than women. A woman is motherly, a man will slap you down then build you up – is either better?

No

The masculine and feminine are complementary to one another

But this is for the men from a man. If you want the most from your spiritual aspect of being a man, you have to start connecting with others. There is too much hate in this world, and it comes from a place of self-loathing.

When you feel how good life can be, you want to share that and help others reach the same point, it’s literally what I’m doing now.

Haters are going to hate; don’t be one of them.

Instead of trying to rise by pushing others down, act like a tide that lifts every boat higher while rising yourself.

Before you mock, disparage, or demean another, realize you’re killing the spiritual connection in yourself. If someone deserves your wrath, it is better to straight up nothing them.

The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy.

If you want more than you have, you’ve got to start doing things differently. You have the life you deserve, if you want to reach optimal levels of living and get more from each day you’re granted the privilege to enjoy, then you need to harness and bring balance to your physical, mental, and spiritual Self.
Hunter

If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the links below.

You can grab a copy of 31 Days to Masculinity HERE or support TFA & the next project (31DtM) by grabbing a t-shirt HERE

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TFA & 31DtM

When I took on the challenge of writing a series of posts which would span the entire month of March, I was doing so to get myself out of an inconsistent writing funk.

I had no idea that taking on that personal challenge (which I failed) would forever alter the path this blog was on.

#MenofMarch changed the game for me, it also changed the lives of hundreds (let’s be real we’re in the thousands now) of other men for the positive.

I’ve had single men, married fathers, lawyers, the unemployed, and everyone in-between message me telling me how taking on that challenge positively impacted their life.

PaperBack

Since releasing 31 Days to Masculinity, the book which was created from #MenofMarch, the number of emails, messages, and men joining the ranks has continued to consistently grow.

It is because of this growth that I am going to be giving 31DtM it’s own home.

The program has taken on a life of its own and the message is unique to that of The Family Alpha. A division of power and attention is necessary to provide the highest quality product on both the Family & Masculinity side as well as that of personal development and a reclamation of authentic living.

The new site will be up and running by March 2018 (A March kickoff brings 31DtM back to its roots) and will be dedicated to men who are on their journey to reclaiming their authenticity as well as 31DtM alumni who will act as moderators helping those who have questions as well as sharing their journey as to what happened on Day #32.

This program is bigger than myself, it isn’t about me, it’s about us and the only way this community works is if we are all working together and building that network of men who will support and advise you and will just as quickly call you out on your weak bullshit as well.

The site will have a video for each day where I will not only go over that days challenge and topic of discussion, but I’ll also provide a behind the scenes look at why you’re doing that particular challenge, something you don’t get from the book. You’ll have 31 videos which can be used in place of the book, or if you failed the first go round, they may help keep you on track as well as more understanding of why it is so important to follow each step.

The site will also have a chat function which will allow immediate, real time access to myself and others who’ve completed the program to shoot the shit, ask questions, etc.

There will be a forum dedicated to discussing the journey as well as what happens once the program has been completed.

There will be an initial fee to join the site as I don’t want it to be like Reddit, I want men who are dedicated to their improvement and who truly want to be a part of this on there. I’m choosing quality over quantity with this, I want motivated men.

I’m going to be running a T Shirt campaign for the next 31 days. The money made from this will go towards construction of the site as well as a few other projects I have in the works.

Another perk to grabbing a shirt; if you share a photo wearing a 31DtM T-Shirt and hashtag #31DtM you’ll be entered to win access to the site for free and a signed copy of the 31DtM book.

I’ll be randomly selecting six photos, if your name gets picked 1-3 you’re in the club for free; if it’s picked 4-6 you’re getting a signed copy of the book.

Here is what the shirts look like:

The goal is to sell as many shirts possible to not only get cash flowing towards making the new site amazing, but it will also instill that sense of brotherhood which came from #MenofMarch.

If you just want to grab a shirt to support TFA, then that works too, but the point of this is to get like minded men bridging that gap which exists in the modern world. We can get men from across the nation rocking shirts that represent masculine reclamation.

It was amazing to see how all of the men came together during that month and to get photos wearing the same gear and pursuing the same goals, even if you buy a shirt just to be a part of the club, fuck it it’ll make for a good time.

#MenofMarch brought a lot of men together.

I look forward to creating this next phase for 31DtM and for all of future men who will join the ranks of those original #MenofMarch and all who’ve taken on the challenge and reclaimed their authenticity since then.

The drive ends November 7th, shirts will be shipped out roughly 12 days after that. I’m looking forward to seeing these shirts out in public.

You can order your shirts or donate to this next chapter here: https://www.customink.com/fundraising/31dtm2018

Hunter

Mentouring – A 21 Convention Review

First off, I have to give credit where credit is due, my wife came up with the term mentouring.

While I wouldn’t say that the speakers themselves are “touring” to provide their speeches, the event itself is literally touring the globe and speakers are coming from across the nation.

The 21 Convention is an international convention and one that is continuing to grow, especially after having incorporated The Red Pill community.

I haven’t written a post in a few weeks as I’ve been working on my thesis (submitted & graded – 100% finally done with my Master’s) as well as preparing for the convention.

This piece will be my only written review of The 21 Convention. I will be doing a Podcast with Craig James of Masculine by Design as well as Gentlemen Jak from A King’s Castle.

Departure

Leaving the family is never fun, but our families are not our mission and there are times where we must separate what we want to do from what we have to do.

I had to attend this; writing, speaking, and helping other men learn how to better help themselves is my mission in life and there are times where it conflicts with my responsibilities as a husband and father.

This is the burden men have, this is the cross we bear.

Attending this event was going to change my life, I knew this going into it. I also knew that by attending this event I was going to miss two of my son’s baseball games, a team which I am the head coach of.

Missing those games sucked, fortunately for me I have a stellar wife who recorded videos and kept me up to date with what was going on (they won both).

My wife made the distance seem a little smaller, and I greatly appreciated her doing that for me.

The Speakers

I interacted with every speaker, but the ones I am going to list here are the ones that made an impact:

Rian Stone: I think the first thing he said to me was, “Hey faggot” from there everything was exactly as you’d expect from two sailors. I was with this guy every day before he had to take off early and quite literally the reason my speech did so well was because of the one he gave right before me that I built upon. He’s a solid dude who was exactly what I expected.

Rian is the kind of guy that if he showed up at my house today, we’d be right back at it. Similar to my approach, he made himself available to everyone the entire time,  and one who showed exactly why he was invited to speak.

Ivan Throne: Ivan and I spent each day together discussing family, business, the future, the present, and the past. I became instant friends with him as well as his dog, which I’ve come to calling SwoopDogg as this canine got more chicks flocking to him in one night than the entirety of the convention all week.

Ivan is the real deal, he’s passionate about what he believes in and his presentation was one which struck a chord with the men attending. He pulled no punches and drove the point home that as men, it is our duty to act and if you choose the path of passive existence, you need to get the fuck out of the way.

I do not believe this was the last time I’ll be seeing him in person.

Rollo Tomassi: This fucking guy is the OG of TRP & in my mind the Manosphere in general, he’s a funny motherfucker, and in all honesty was one of the leading forces behind the shift in the 21 Convention’s direction.

Rollo made himself completely accessible to the attendees and I think he took the brunt of the questions, stories, and overall swarm of discussion. Again, this is not an easy tasking nor is it required for him to do so.

I wanted to talk to him as much as everyone else, but this was about them, not us and Rollo was a fucking champ about it the entire time.

We’ve all read the posts, but to hear him speak on the subjects of masculinity, hypergamy, etc. it brings new life to those old words and really drove the point even deeper in your mind.

Rollo has a post for everything and I half expected him to pass out papers of essays instead of answering questions, but night after night he was there with a line of men trying to get a hold of this Red Pill rock-star. He’s is a standup guy who lives the message he writes.

Tanner Guzy: Tanner is a guy who I’ve messaged behind closed doors to let know that I appreciated his writing and while we don’t really interact that much on the web, I’m a huge fan of everything he has going on.

When we met in person, it was an immediate familiarity. He came right in, shook hands, said hello, and we just kicked it off. His wife was there as his photographer and she was incredibly nice as well. I spoke with both of them at a house party about my kids, their kids, online business, etc.

Tanner and his wife are quality people and I believe they’re exactly what this world needs more of. My blog and future products are going to be of higher quality directly because of the conversations we shared.

Goldmund Unleashed: Goldmund is the real deal, there is no conformist, fake, or ‘showman’ in him. He is who he is and does what he does.

He is the most immediately connected man I met at the event, quite literally he just popped up behind Rian and I with his coffee and it was all smiles and joking from there. I’m not even sure we formally met, we just started talking and having a great time.

That laid back attitude can be misinterpreted as going with the flow, which if you heard his speech that is not the case at all. He created a solid layout for these men to help them start looking inside themselves to find out who it is they truly are and where it is they want to go.

He gives a shit and took time to speak with each man who wanted a book, to check out his Masculine Accessories (I got some swag and my T levels jumped by 50).

He also helped each man who presented their individual insecurities with talking to women; that isn’t easy when you’ve got 20+ men asking you for a tailored program, but Goldmund hung in there and answered them all.

Christian McQueen: Christian was the person my wife was worried about as he is ‘The Playboy‘ and seeing the dude live, it’s no fucking joke. He is intense when it comes to business, professional when it comes to dealing with those asking questions, and a fucking blast to be around. I had a few conversations with the guy and he is a stand up dude who I’d want in my corner any day.

It wasn’t all girls either. We talked masculinity, business, family, etc. Most try to pigeonhole him into this one caricature when in fact he is much more and I think that bothers people.

He knows his shit and for me, as a married man with kids in a totally different stage in life, I still connected with the message as authenticity and masculinity are universally understood and respected.

Socrates: This fucking dude. I didn’t get much time with him at all as people always jumped in, but god dammit if I didn’t feel like I knew the guy forever. During our ‘post event‘ interview with Rollo, I was so fucking exhausted that one glass of Crown I drank during the interview blacked me out. I don’t remember shit from the interview except laughing my ass off with Socrates.

I later found out that I went to eat with Soc and ended up passing the fuck out at the table. Don’t mix no sleep with booze.

If that interview comes to light, I expect you’ll be laughing as hard as we were.

Anthony Johnson: I saved the best for last. This is the dude who made it happen and the final ‘Yes‘ to get me to this event. We didn’t get to interact much as his was handling everything for the event, but he believes in what it is he says and the mission/challenge he has taken on, just wait until you hear his final speech, motivating as fuck.

The Event

My wife asked me, “Why did you stay for every speech and always go down to the bar or out with the guys when you could grab some needed sleep?”

The answer was simple, I wanted to provide every opportunity I could for the men attending to see another man living his passion, embodying his message, and finding comfort in the discomfort.

I wasn’t sleeping well while in Florida, maybe 2-4 hours a night. But, how could I tell these men to push past their comfort zone if I was making sure I squeezed in naps?

Few, if any speaker stayed for the entirety of the event. I did, not because I really cared about what everyone was putting out, but rather because I knew that during each break these men would be asking me questions about the subject being discussed and if I wasn’t listening, I’d have no clue what they were talking about.

I, along with every other speaker was swarmed during each break, each dinner, event, outing, etc.

That shit is mentally taxing.

I wasn’t truly prepared for the relentless questions, stories, etc. On top of that, I gave my first live presentation and first speech in front of a crowd ever, I was nervous as shit and to receive a standing ovation after the fact was surreal.

It was a little overwhelming at first but I did my best to keep up and ensure I was saying what I meant and giving everyone their own time and attention.

Still, even when speakers were trying to talk to one another and would be interrupted, we’d give the attendee our all and didn’t treat it as any sort of annoyance,  we weren’t there for ourselves, we were there for the attendees.

The men who dedicated their time and money gaining access to those who were sending out a message of masculine reclamation deserved everything we had to offer, and each of us gave it.

I hung out in downtown Orlando with these men until 0400, then attended conferences from 0900 to 1900 then went out again until 0300 walking the streets with Jack Donovan and Ivan Throne which is something that I, as well as the other men will remember for quite some time.

This event was a game changer & 2018 is going to be even better.

Anthony Johnson has created the next step for the ‘Manosphere’ and the fight to reclaim masculinity in men’s lives and preserve it in our society.

He is removing the medium, bringing men together, and producing content at a rate which is impressively aggressive.

Return & What’s Next?

I’ve been home for roughly three days now and I’ve dedicated most of that time to thinking about, what now?

For the speakers, I hope this acts as fuel for future growth and desire to help get content out for those men who continue to struggle, plugged-in to a society who hates their authentic nature.

For the attendees, I hope the words were received and a plan is being formulated to put them into action.

Remember, Acta, Non VerbaDeeds, Not Words.

You spent valuable time and money to attend the event, make it count towards something. You need to make those words received become fuel for tangible improvements in your life. You attended The 21 Convention for a reason, now face that reason head on and make sure you come out on top.

Living an authentically masculine life sets an example which breaks the bonds for your brethren. Your example will allow them to break the conformist ranks, so take action and embody your message.

For myself, I’ve seen these men face to face. I’ve shaken their hands, heard their stories, and witnessed how real this all is. I hope to create products and write pieces which act as a catalyst for sustained superior performance.

I’m not worried about the next two weeks as these men are riding a high, I’m worried about two months from now when the desire of comfort comes creeping in. When it does, my writing will be there to catch any man who begins to fall back into the hole from which they came.

All of the speakers threw a rope to those who needed help to climb out of that hole. Now you must climb, and when you reach the top, you must ask yourself, do you march forward living the rest of your life in a genuine manner, or do you choose to stick around and throw a rope to the next man.

Either way you’re right, but those who choose to throw a rope, I look forward to seeing the resources and content you provide.

Hunter

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Stop trying to be someone else.

“Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.” –Heraclitus

Everyone thinks they’re the man who will bring others back, even though most shouldn’t even be on the battle field.

Why the dissonance?

Artful Man is a subject matter expert on personality types, that’s his calling and he’s damn good at it. We all have our personalities, but more and more people are trying to claim a personality which isn’t their’s and the consequences are becoming more and more disastrous.

This is the first of a three part series which was 100% inspired by the discussion between Mark Baxter and The Artful Man which can be found here. I listened to this Podcast on the ride into work and at three separate points I hit pause and the three posts you will read immediately wrote themselves.

Before reading the post, I recommend you give Mark’s channel a listen and hear what he and Artful Man had to say. I also recommend you follow the Podcast as it’s absolute gold. Mark is bringing brilliant masculine minds to the table for a chat and they’re dropping knowledge bombs left and right.

With the credit for the inspiration out of the way, I present to you Post #1.

We are living in an age where you can be anything you want to be. You can be a pilot, an astronaut, a Navy SEAL, a bodybuilder, and you can do it all from the comfort of your basement; thank you internet.

Only you know who hides behind the keyboard.

If you have ever amplified your story to make it sound cooler than it really was or if you claim to have achieved feats which you never have in your real life, it has to stop now.

In the Podcast Artful Man talks about those who put on that mask and try to be people who they aren’t and in doing so they, “create a self-parody & stream of consciousness which will erode them over time” and he is dead on with this assessment.

When I heard this I had to hit pause because it perfectly describes something I’ve discussed time and time again.

If you make yourself out to be a hero online, then when you close the screen and look into the mirror, you’re going to hate the face looking back more than you did before.

Why?

Because you realize that in your real life, you aren’t that great, you haven’t achieved those accomplishments, and you aren’t an authority on the subject which you claim to be. You’re self-loathing grows once the rush of online attention fades and whether you believe it or not, eventually you have to look way from the screen and return to the ‘real world’. In this world, you’re nothing and instead of working to make yourself something, you just rage at yourself for being nothing until you have to return to the screen and plug back into the forums or twitter where you rule supreme, but this isn’t real living and a part of you knows that.

When you aren’t living your message, your message will absolutely destroy you. Too many are sharing a message which lacks authenticity and it is going to burn them.

Everything on The Family Alpha comes from a position of genuine living. I live what I write and I share my failures as well as success to show that I’m not some superman with a family; I’m a guy who busts his ass and sometimes I hit the mark and sometimes I fall flat on my face. Through it all, I’m honest and this is why I can look myself in the mirror and smile.

I’m not eroding because there are no lies eating away inside my heart.

But those who lie and spread a false message, they’re afraid of being exposed. They’re always covering their tracks and are forced to keep up with the lies which compound upon themselves. The web which they must navigate to remember who they are and what they’ve done takes a toll on their mental health.

Take pride in who you are and the life you’ve lived up to this point.

If you want to reach greater heights, then write about how you’re working to reach greater heights. People will connect with a pure message of working for more much more strongly than they would to a fake who claims to have obtained it all.

This brings me all the way back to the original quote of this post by Heraclitus.

You can only become the man who brings other men back, when you stop trying to be that man and you start being your own man.

You can easily pick out the accounts on twitter who are trying to emulate Victor Pride, Illimitable Man, or even Artful Man. Yet, their account receives no attention, their message is mostly ignored, and overall they are just filling space in between the accounts who are writing from a genuine perspective.

You can’t copy greatness; that comes from within and if you were to be able to remove the desire to live the way other men are living and instead live your life and share your message you’d find that many more people would be connecting with your words.

We live in a day and age where there are generics everywhere.

From this point it’s simple supply and demand, when you’ve got generics all over the internet, media, television, etc. it’s authenticity and genuine personalities that people crave as they’re far and few between.

If you want to give the people what they need, then give them the raw you. They don’t need another Hunter Drew or Rollo Tomassi, they don’t need another Victor Pride or WallStreet Playboy – they need you and your real & raw message which can only be told by you as you’re the only one to have lived your life and experienced your experiences.

Your perspective is unique, embrace that.

If you know that you’ve been putting on a persona or playing a character online, it’s time to delete it.

Delete the accounts whether they be troll, ‘joke accounts’, or fabricated in any way and take some time away from the internet. Get away from the notifications, the rush of ‘being liked’, and the rapid response high speed internet provides.

Remove it all and take some time to find out who you really are as a man.

Once you know you and once you know what it is you stand for and what your mission is, only then can you be the man who brings other men back. Only then can you write from an authentic perspective.

Life isn’t about being the most liked, re-tweeted, or shared person online – it’s about living in the real world and making the breathes you are taking count towards something.

When you can look in the mirror and smile, then you can start writing and I promise you, that’s when people are going to pay attention.

Hunter
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Family Nutrition on a Budget

If your wife doesn't bring value to your life, why is she in it?

If your wife doesn’t bring value to your life, why is she in it?

Lead Your Family

Family men are required to care for the lives whom they are responsible to. This means leading your wife and your children to reaching the standard which you’ve set.

This post is going to cover the subject of nutrition and how I am keeping my family of four eating healthy while on a budget.

This is the first post where I will be collaborating with my wife who periodically writes on her twitter @sassy__sub. She is the main chef of the house & she manages the budget, so it only makes sense that she be involved with my post covering how we feed our family healthy foods and don’t break the bank in the process.

*Before anyone says anything snide about her being ‘the chef’ or ‘managing the budget’. I can cook, she just cooks more often as she enjoys tending our family and both of our credit scores are over 800, never missed a payment. There’s no reason for me to take either of these roles from her as she has performed her job exceptionally well and has for years since taking on the bills because of my multiple deployments.*

As the masculine leader of your family it is your responsibility to ensure that your family is not only eating what they should, but also that they’re aware of why they should be eating a certain way.

If your family’s nutritional plan has been running amok, than this transition may require a little more focus, energy, and attention than you’re used to providing. Messing with someone’s dietary intake is a big deal and you need to be fully confident in your decision to do so as you will be tested.

I am in a unique situation as my wife has food allergies, so our entire clan has had to support this. At no point did I ever make it an ‘us vs. her‘ situation. She had to eat a certain way so we supported that, end of story.

How did we make the shift to healthier eating? How were we able to break the all too comfortable routine most people find themselves in?

The routine of:

  • Fast Food
  • Sugary Snacks
  • Excessive Liquor
  • ‘Quick Meals’

I’ll let my lady tell you for herself.

The Mrs. Writes Her First ‘Post’ on TFA

I had spent my entire teen to adult life wondering constantly if I had to calorie count this or low-carb that. When I married Hunter we were young, naive, and we bought the cheapest things we could find; our budget was cheap foods in bulk. But, when I became pregnant with our son I realized that this lifestyle had to change as I was feeding another life.

After having my son via c-section I realized many things had changed. I felt horrible, I wanted to get back to my ‘pre-baby’ body but my whole grains, low calorie dieting to lose the baby weight wasn’t working.

I went to the doctor and requested testing be conducted as I knew something wasn’t right, and I was correct. After the tests results came in I received a phone call which revealed that I had 3 food allergies, all of which my body was rejecting and not digesting properly.  I was absolutely blown away.

Men will never know how much having a child changes your body; I went from zero food allergies to three, that’s crazy.

This also highlights the necessity to listen to your body.

Had I never gone to the doctor’s office I could still be suffering from allergic reactions to these foods to this day.

My results came back and I discovered that after 22 years of living on this Earth with zero food issues, I was now allergic to Milk, Eggs, and Wheat!!!

As I ended the call with my doctor I looked down at the Iced Coffee and Milk I had in front of me, with a pastry, next to my sister-in-law and my son at a little farm stand and sighed.

I got up, promptly picked up what was in front of me, and I threw it in the trash to begin anew.

From there I bought 5 books, booked marked 10 sites, Pinterested numerous “pins” and tried to understand what the hell I was going to do.

I cut out all of the allergens and lost about 25lbs in a month.

My body wasn’t digesting any of that “diet crap” I was feeding it or any of my “regular” type of foods either.

(At this point you may think, “gluten-free is in though”, well it wasn’t…not then)

At this point Hunter was deployed again and I was nervous to see how he would react to coming home to veggie based meals, gluten free pastas, etc…

He took it as fuel for us to begin a healthier regimen of eating.

Thus, beginning our message here:

7 years after a food allergy diagnosis, I feel I am pretty much a pro at reading labels. I read for ingredients, things that sound fake, and calories, carbs, sugars etc. I know what to cut out, what is a real vs. fake food and I’m honed in on nutrition and the food my family will eat each night.

Planning out Meals

So how do you decide how to shop in this modern age where all you hear is

  • ” I don’t have time” You Do!
  • “It takes too much time” It doesn’t
  • “I don’t know how to cook” Learn!

The Rule of thumb

The outside section of the grocery store is your friend and the middle consists of your acquaintances. 

I don’t have the money to go to whole foods and spend $400.00 to fill my shopping cart with ‘organic’ foods. I just don’t. So what do I do? I menu plan and go from there.

You don’t have to be worried about breaking the bank when you shop. Do so with a plan and you’ll be able to get exactly what your family needs without spending too much $$$.

The Plan:

Shop With A Purpose

List:

There are 4 Easy Rules to follow:

  1. Go with a list based on your menu plan. (Have a menu plan! A plan for meals you’ll have for the entire week)
  2. Don’t go to the store hungry!
  3. Most of us know what the layout of our grocery store is. Follow the layout to get what you need and get nothing more. (This saves the craving and spontaneous purchases of cookies +$) List each section of the store and then list what you need in each section.
  4. Avoid aisles that you need nothing in (per menu planning), it keeps down cost, “maybes”, and most importantly valuable time.

Fruits & Veggies:

This is usually the entrance to any food store. It also should be the largest part of your list. Make sure you are getting items to compliment your menu plan, what you need in your plan and additions in case you need snacks (that aren’t the cookies you found in aisle 5, just because you walked down it)

Middle:

What do you really need? Sauces, canned veggies, seasonings, a little EVOO, but not much else!

Dairy:

For me it is the almond milk, non dairy butter and that is about it.

Meats:

This really depends on your family’s preference. Know your menu plan, don’t just buy what looks good buy what your family needs and what they’ll eat. Buy what you need and leave it with that, otherwise you’re stuck with a package of pork that no one really loves gaining frost bite in your freezer because it was on sale. (I have it in there now and I’ve decided to take on a vegan challenge recently, the thing will be in there for a while…) 

Budgeting for me isn’t couponing (I never have them!).

It isn’t about knowing what is and is not on sale at any given store. The budget for me is knowing a price point, planning a menu, and getting exactly what I go for. Not only am I budgeting my money but I am budgeting my time. I don’t spend hours at the store thinking of what to buy and I am not buying unnecessary things; I am buying with purpose.

The purpose to make healthy meals and heavy wallets. 

Conclusion

My lady laid it out there and I am hoping that the guys who read this along with the few females reading take it to heart and look at their own practice of meal prep and planning.

It’s simple:

  • Write out an entire week’s worth of meals
  • Break that down to ingredients
  • Get ingredients

Don’t buy more than what you need. Get the necessities and eat it, ensuring that you’re shopping more frequently as you’re buying fresh ingredients and not the shit which can exist for years on a shelf.

If you have questions, Mrs. Drew is all about helping people eat healthier and do so in a budget friendly manner.

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Flip the Switch

Flip the Switch & send power to setting the gears of Masculinity into motion.

Flip the Switch & send power to setting the gears of Masculinity into motion.

How long it takes for you to unplug is directly related to how long it takes for you to accept reality for what it is, whether you’ve fully committed to the process, and how long it takes you to understand that nothing will be given, all must be earned.

Reality

The reality of the situation is that you’ve got a lot longer road than you think and unlike every movie you’ve ever seen, you’ll be walking this road alone.

You’re physique most likely needs a significant amount of time and dedicated decision making fitness wise before it looks like the body of a man who owns his shit.

Another unfortunate truth is that you’re most likely going to use the amount of time that you were a weak fuck as another excuse to justify your mediocrity.

When you don’t reach a goal or your wife shuts you down you’ll justify it with, “well I’m not supposed to be getting laid yet or desired by women because I was a pussy for 8 years.” What in the actual fuck does this mean?

I’ve seen too many posts on TRP & MRP where men say, “I know I’m not ‘Alpha’ enough yet, but-” shut it the fuck down right there. You are already displaying a weak mindset and are admitting that you still do not believe in you. You’ll never reach your goals without complete belief in self and a display of irrational self-confidence.

Here’s the brutally raw truth most are unable to ever digest.

You don’t want to become a masculine man, you just want your wife to fuck you a little more or respect you a little more. Taking ownership of your life is too difficult and you know that.

So you pretend.

You make the posts, read the books, say the word No a few times then go back to your comfortable land of easy, free of pain.

Because of this, you never find comfort in the discomfort and you never immerse yourself into the grind. You never get to experience the freedom which comes with total belief in self, free from the burden of trying to gain validation from a woman.

You never Flip the Switch in your mind and decide to completely own your fucking life.

Commitment

There is this stupid fucking notion that for every year you were a faggot it will take a month to recover.

This notion is pushed to prevent guys from going ‘Red Pill Rambo’, what men fail to see is that ‘Red Pill Rambo’ is not masculine, so the guys who are going to go off the fucking rocker and start demanding that their undeserved standards be met don’t need a warning, they’re going to fuck it up either way because they are trying to take submission via domineering behavior vice inspirational domination.

Like a light switch you flip your fucking mind from meek & reserved to masculine and confident.

You do that right now, this second.

You draw a boundary and do it for yourself, not for your kids, wife, parents, or friends.

You’re doing this for you and you alone. You start making time for yourself today to accomplish the goals you want and not the ones you think others expect you to set. The people around you are likely very mediocre, mainly because you’re mediocre and people stick with like-minded people.

If you’re going to ‘take the Red Pill‘ and face the raw apathetic nature of reality, then do so with the mindset that you’re going to fucking own it. Start noticing the walls confining you and strings controlling the system, then break that fucking mold.

Stop with this bullshit reserved attempt at reclamation of the masculine self.

You’re in or you’re out.

If you’re in, then dive into the deep end and learn to swim. Get rid of the life-ring and bullshit justifiers & “I know I’m not alpha enough yet‘ excuses.

I don’t give a fuck if you’re 100lbs overweight, just because your body is soft as play-dough it doesn’t mean your mind needs to be weak as well.

Look in the mirror, that’s your competition. That’s also the masculine man you’re working with to own this life, take care of your future self and commit today.

– Hunter
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cigoL Fat Edition

This will become a running series of sorts. Backwards logic can be found in most modern movements, such as the ‘Health at every size‘. With that said, this post will obviously be focusing on the Fat that’s weighing my country down.

To think you can ignore a problem until it resolves itself is so backwards and illogical that if I hadn’t witnessed it firsthand time and again, I’d never believe people actually behaved like this.

Saying you love someone more than anything yet you’re unable to directly confront them on an issue should show you that you do not love them more than you love the current comfort you’re enjoying in your life. That obese child is not going to ‘grow out of it‘, that chubby teen girl is not going to ‘blossom into a beauty‘, there is never going to be a ‘right time’ to have the difficult conversation with these loved ones about their issues…

But you have too…if you do not, they’ll eventually reach the point of ‘no return’ and forever suffer the entirely preventable negative health complications which could have been avoided had you only had the courage to say something.

I’ve already covered the growing (no pun intended) population of Funny Fat Guys as well as the need to work with your wife to Balance the Scales so I will focus this post on those we interact with on a relatively frequent basis or are a part of our lives and we give enough of a shit about them that we are willing to take the difficult, yet necessary actions.

*I’d like to note, this applies to those who are extremely underweight as well.

We’ll be covering:

  1. Fat Family
  2. Fat Kids
  3. Fat Friends
  4. Fat Pets

Fat Family

You don't have the time you think you have, act now before it's too late to make a difference.

You don’t have the time you think you have, act now before it’s too late to make a difference.

You may have a fat mom, dad, brother, or sister and while you’ve noted their growing weight and declining health, you’ve avoided directly bringing it up or looking the other way when they struggle to get out of a chair, move around a restaurant, or fit on a plane; how has that worked for you and them so far?

How has their life improved because of your silence? How are you able to talk about their declining health, possibly to other members in your family without reaching the point where you throw your comfortable relationship to the side in order to do what must be done?

You must make the difficult decision now to risk losing that person and forever ruining the relationship in order to save their life.

I know it sucks, I know you feel your heart try to rip through your chest when you think of it. I know you feel you won’t have the right words or that the conversation will turn immediately to blame, yelling, anger, regret, guilt, etc.

I know that this could result in a strained relationship for the rest of their life without improvement of health on their part so you’ll feel it was all for naught…

But that isn’t the truth, because if you do make the decision to have that conversation and take that more difficult path of direct confrontation, you’ll be able to go to the grave knowing that at least you tried.

When everyone else stood in the stands watching this loved one eat themselves to the grave you stepped into the arena and fought.

Maybe you win, maybe you lose, but at least when your family member is struggling with confidence, unable to live, and slowly dying in front of your eyes while all others wish they’d done more and for the rest of their days will have that regret, you will not, because you acted.

Others may say that you calling your family member out is disrespectful, especially if it is a parent, but this isn’t about respect or allowing others to remain comfortable, it’s about life. When you are fat you lack confidence, you lack physical capability, and you suffer preventable health complications on the mind as well as body. You carry that weight mentally, physically, and spiritually.

You cannot hang Polaroids if you cannot live…

Fat Kids

This is becoming the 'norm' Stop It

This is becoming the ‘norm’ Stop It

Your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

There are a lot of parents of fat children who talk about how, back in their day they didn’t have tablets. What kind of bullshit sorcery are these people talking about, these parents buy their kid a tablet then bitch about kids on tablets.

They can’t bitch about kids on tablets, I can because when the sun is out, my kids are out. I’m not having a screen raise them, in fact I advise families Kill the TV and start investing in quality time together.

Fat kids are the product of weak parents, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have spent hours arguing/discussing this with people in my real life and online. There is no reason a child should be overweight *barring diagnosed conditions which are wicked fucking rare & even those conditions only account for 10-20lb weight gain.

The reason kids are fat is because they are sedentary for a plethora of reasons, their diet is fucking shit, and their parents don’t give a fuck or are placing emphasis on work and comfort over the more difficult path of actually raising their Sons (Post Here for Boys) & Daughters (Post here for girls).

Your child’s life is heavily influenced by the standard of upbringing they receive from you, the parent. The habits, relationship with food, fitness, and overall approach to life will be developed from the actions you’re taking.

Kids follow your example, not your advice.

If you are eating right and working out, there is no reason that you should not be applying this to your child’s life as well. They are never too young to get active and get moving with you or on their own.

My daughter is 4 and she was downstairs with me today doing kettlebell swings while my wife and I dead-lifted. Then, she was showing me how close she is to doing a split and asking about stretches. My son is the same way, always doing push-ups or climbing, running, etc. The kid was outside late last night using our front light as a spotlight so he could keep throwing his football in the air and try to catch it one-handed “like Odell Beckham Jr.

Foster an environment in your home where you cook with your kids, have them cook for you, and while you’re doing so talk to them about the ingredients being added and what each one does for your body. Make your kids a part of your exercise program and have fun with it.

This doesn’t have to be some strict food & fitness Nazi style parenting. My kids have snacks, but instead of ice cream I’ll give them frozen grapes, or they’ll make their own fruit concoctions.

Make it fun and develop a healthy household where people eat to live and aren’t living just to eat.

Fat Friends

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

People say you’re the result of those you keep close company with. Look at your friends, are they fit or are they fat?

Have you ever approached your fat friend or are you taking the, “They’re an adult, I don’t have any business or responsibility saying anything to them about their weight.” approach? Because I’m telling you right now, if any of the guys pictured above were my friend I would absolutely be talking to them about un-fucking their life.

What’s the worst that can happen, you lose a friend because you tell them they are going to destroy their life for no reason other than being gluttonous? Is losing someone who can’t take your advice/opinion really a friend in the first place?

I get it, we all want to be comfortable and just have a good fucking time, but these guys and girls who you call ‘friends’, their fat selves are going to start experiencing the pain of being fat and act like they don’t know why they’re sick, why they can’t get pregnant, why their joints hurt, why they can’t climb the mountain or jet-ski with you and your girl…

They’re going to suffer, and suffer, and suffer all because nobody has the fucking balls to tell them that all of their extra weight is killing them.

Grab your fucking balls and have that difficult conversation, if you lose the friendship then at least you know how weak it was in the first place.

Fat Pets

I focus on dogs as I’m a dog guy, insert whatever pet you have; the advice remains the same.

I don’t laugh when I see dogs that are fat as shit and have a hard time running around. I’m a ‘dog guy’, the photo above is my most loyal companion, the only thing in this world which loves me more than himself and I’ll never stop appreciating that.

When I see bulldogs or other dogs which have a stockier build I immediately look to see if the dog is being treated like he’s a frat brother. People think certain animals are supposed to be fat so they’ll feed them Cheetos, have them drink beer, and just treat the animal like it’s a fucking garbage disposal. They don’t exercise it regularly nor do they bring it anywhere to ‘experience’ the outdoors.

Your dog doesn’t need to be eating Blue Buffalo, but god damn, give some attention to what it’s funneling down its throat.

The same goes for exercise and ‘life experience’. Has your dog ever been to a lake, the ocean, a park, or the woods? If all it has seen is the block you walk around and your backyard, why the fuck do you have a pet?

This animal needs to burn energy; a tired dog is a happy dog.

I bring my dude places in the Jeep, sneak him to a lake we aren’t supposed to swim at, let him run the woods, and we get Target brand food. The best? Negative, but it’s better than the crap that you get for .99/lb we’ll also supplement his food with richer proteins & meat occasionally.

Ensure you’re setting the standard for everyone in your clan, too include your loyal companions.

I understand this is a sensitive subject, but when you look at the ‘big picture’ isn’t a little discomfort now, better than a big discomfort later when everyone realizes that maybe their isn’t health to be found at every size…

-Hunter

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