First Guest Post on The Family Alpha: A Letter To The Loser (Written By Charlie)

A Letter to The “Loser”

Before you can create positive change in others, you need to be able to positively change yourself.

NOTE TO READER: This is the first guest post on The Family Alpha, and it was written by a man whom I greatly respect and take pride in hosting on my site. You would do well to heed the advice which follows below.

As you begin reading this you’re probably trying to justify why you aren’t a loser as well as rationalizing away the things wrong in your life, I know because I used to do it too.

Do me a favor:

  • Take off your shirt.
  • Go stand in the mirror.

Is this the body you want to inhabit for the rest of your life?

Probably not.

It was the great Socrates who said, ”It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Extend what Socrates said about man’s body to include his mind, and his very soul.

Approach all aspects of your life with this in mind “it is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty of which a man is capable of”. Think about your job, your relationships, and anything else that gives you meaning and purpose.

Are you happy with your current trajectory?

By now you have an idea of what is wrong. This is good, because identifying the leaks lets you know which pipes to replace.

  • You are 100 pounds overweight? Good.
  • You can’t (won’t) leave your girlfriend even though she cheated on you? Good.
  • You can’t quit watching porn? Good.

The worst part about being a loser, is being a loser.

The best part about being a loser, is that it can be fixed.

How do you fix it?
Good Question.

There is no sure-fire way to unfuck yourself and there is no great guru that has the necessary tactics to fix every warm body on the planet.

As much as I would like to help every man that comes to me, I can’t.

Sometimes I’m too busy in my personal life to give them the constant pep-talks they desire, sometimes they’d rather bitch and moan than put in the work, and sometimes I flat out fail.

That’s where I shoot the first of four bullet points in this short guide to unfucking yourself and becoming all that you as a man, not a God, can become.

1) Take ownership of your shortfalls

Be a man and own up to your mistakes.

You know the truth regardless of what your Facebook status update says, so take accountability for your actions. If you’re logging 8 reps and only get 7, you owe that last one to yourself at the end. I am my harshest critic when I make a mistake, but it’s that ability to admit it and make plans to correct it that will set you apart.

You will make great strides when you can admit you were wrong versus making excuses to why you failed.

2) Cut the head off your insecurities

Your fiancé slept with the entire baseball team in college and you can’t quit thinking about it? Sick, drop her. Would a winner really waste his time fucking with some loser broad? Nope.

Work on your fitness, we’ve already come to terms with you not liking your body. So, develop a plan and CRUSH IT. I promise you, it’s hard to give a fuck about anything when it looks like you were sculpted out of marble.

Work through your immutable insecurities, if y’all have seen my ears…oh lord have mercy. You can either be a little bitch and whine and cry or you can not give a fuck when it comes to things you can’t control; e.g. height, balding, facial structure

3) Manage your vices

There’s nothing quite like packing a lip of long cut wintergreen; I’m guilty of doing this somewhat regularly.

Completely cutting your vices out is damn near impossible, so I’ve learned to manage mine. I was a druggie loser 5 years ago, now I throw in a pinch of tobacco every once in awhile. It’s not that I’ve completely cut out all the negative things I do, it’s that I’ve taken them from a level where they controlled me to a level where I control them.

Nights of shooting painkillers up my nose have been replaced by a couple of cold beers while sitting around a camp fire. I say this in hopes that you realize that your porn addiction or your inability to quit smoking can be defeated.

4) Get the ball rolling

I like to think of success as a snowball rolling downhill, as you continue to do good deeds your snowball (success) grows in both size and momentum.

These good deeds can be smaller short term goals such as completing a workout, cleaning your apartment, or having the balls to start a conversation with the cute girl across the hall.
Make sure to accomplish daily/weekly goals while you work towards completing your long term goals, the long term goals will come easier as you continue to add momentum to that “snowball.”

Until you kill your ego the mirror will be distorted. See the reflection for what it IS and not what you WANT it to be.

Finally, I would like to add that, as you started reading, if you were that man in the mirror feeling disgusted, you are worthy of a better life. Becoming all that you can become doesn’t mean you have to be perfect.

We are men.

We must fight, struggle, and sometimes fall to get the things we want. Take this as your fall; you checked yourself, now it’s time to struggle and fight like hell.

Best of luck Gents,

Final Word From Hunter On Charlie: He is a man who right now, is taking the fight to the doorsteps of our nation’s enemies. He is authentic and a man who is only getting started, look out for him in 2018 (Follow on Twitter)

Founding Fathers

Whether building nations or rebuilding your sense of ‘Self’ the same approach must be taken.

There is about to be a new resource available to men who are looking to reclaim their sense of Authenticity as well as Masculinity – The Fraternity of Excellence.

Doors open at 0900 EST on Christmas Eve

I’m pleased to say that I will be ‘Co-President‘ of this new venture along with Craig James from Masculine by Design. The Fraternity of Excellence is his brain-child along with the foundation from which the entire program is based. He called me a few months ago and told me roughly what it was he wanted to build for the men who needed it. I agreed as having interacted with him on Twitter and being on his PodCast, I’d been a fan of Craig from the beginning.

This Fraternity will be unlike anything else that has come before and I know it’s going to be a success because I’ve seen a variation of it working and thriving since the first of December.

December of Discipline is the latest 31 Days to Masculinity campaign I’m currently involved in, along with over 200 other men and one of the most repeated statements has been that the group forum and interactions which have taken place over the Slack application have made the greatest of differences.

It’s really bringing men together.

Not in some “You can do it” type of hollow phrases and motivational slogans but real world, tangible relationships are being forged.

The goal of Craig and I is that we build something which breaks down the electronic medium between men. We have also set out to provide an online location where the entirety of a man can be developed, assessed, and critiqued in a place where those critiquing are masculine men, not SJW types pushing a PC agenda.

There is a void which exists in all other areas that are currently available to men looking to reclaim their masculinity.

The Red Pill is about Sexual Strategy, nothing more or less. This does not offer anything for men looking to improve the other aspects to masculinity.

There are a few other subscription services aimed to help men, but their product is sub-par and you can tell they are trying to sell a lie instead of raw truths.

Craig and I are giving it to you straight, this will not be some soft spoken, cuddle session. You’re going to improve and get to work or we’re going to ask you to lave. This Fraternity is for men who have shit to do and they’re ready to do it.

What the Fraternity of Excellence also offers is privacy. This is a subscription based service, you pay by the month or the year. To those who think that is unfair as some men cannot afford it, I’ll say the same thing I said to those who bitched about having to buy into December of Discipline.

What will get you out of bed in the morning when you’re tired and sore?

If you don’t have any skin in the game, then what do you have to lose by not following through with your commitment to self? Nothing.

But, if you’re paying for something then you are going to be damn sure you get your money’s worth.

Craig and I are going to give you your money’s worth, and then some.

The Fraternity of Excellence will offer so much more than just a masculine forum, it will also include:

  • Weekly Videos/Q & A Panels with Craig and I
  • A Diverse Forum
  • Book of the Month discussion
  • Weekly Challenges
  • Members only content
  • VIP access to Craig and I
  • A community in which you can network, forge real world relationships with, and a means to keeping yourself accountable to the goals you’ve set.
  • In the future we will be providing conferences, merchandise, and again, the thing most desperately needed by modern men, brotherhood.

Craig and I are giving this everything we have, if you’ve enjoyed our content up to this point then you’re going to love when we bring it to the next level together.

Two authentic men working to raise the standard of all men, this is the next phase of TFA, 31DTM, and MBD.

To show our appreciation to those who’ve been loyal to our message and want to support what we’re doing, we’re offering the first 50 members a $29.99/mo lifetime membership fee.

Once those 50 slot are filled, the price will go to $49.99/mo where it will stay.

I hope to see you there.



An Update To The Upcoming #DecemberofDiscipline Challenge

The T-Shirt Campaign has ended.

Thank you to all who purchased a #31DtM shirt. The shirts should be shipping out around 20th and arriving 21-26 November.

Once the shirts arrive take a pic of you holding, wearing, or just propping the shirt up with the hashtag of #DecemberofDiscipline to be entered into the drawing which will be held during the campaign.

NOTE: If you donated through PaylPal you will not be receiving a shirt and therefore will not be entered into the drawing, you will receive all of the other benefits to this program throughout the month.

The Extension

Ivan Throne said something to me the other day which inspired me to extend this program another two weeks(now ending 11pm 27 November). He said, “Men do not leave their brothers behind.

#DecemberofDiscipline is not an exclusive club, it is open to all men.

That being said, the men who have already completed the 31 Days to Masculinity Challenge are in an exclusive club.

It is only those who grind through each of the 31 days this December that will feel the pride and have the privilege of entering the hallowed ranks that were originally forged by the #MenofMarch.

What does the Program look like?

  • I will be emailing a chapter a day from my book 31 Days to Masculinity (spanning 1-31 December) and we will all participate in the challenges as well as follow each of the rules set forth by the program.
  • Dedicated Email
  • Dedicated Skype
  • Dedicated Periscope
  • Drawings/Challenges/Members Only Access Content

Here Is How It’s Going To Work

  1. If you’ve already made your PayPal Donation or Bought your Shirt, you’re in, all you need to do is check your spam folder to ensure my email is not directed there.
  2. If you did not buy a shirt you may no longer do so, in order to join #DecemberofDiscipline you must make a $50 Donation (Found HERE) before 11pm on the 27 of November.
  3. I will be emailing periodically throughout the month to ensure communications are squared away.
  4. On the 28th of November I will be sending the kickoff email which will have the rules of the challenge.
  5. December 1st it begins

Don’t be the guy wishing you’d joined this challenge come 5 December. Join now and take on a challenge which will have you entering 2018 at a full sprint and forever living the rest of your days authentically.


If you don’t want to join the campaign but still want to support this blog, you can do so using the PayPal link below.


Face Your Fear of Rejection

If you want to sing, sing. When you stop worrying about what others will think, you can then walk on water.

            For some, the scariest possibility in the world is to be alone.

I was watching a Joe Rogan stand up special the other night and he said something which really impacted me.

He said, “Humans are such social creatures that the worst thing you can do to them is put them in solitary confinement. A person in prison, with all freedom stripped from him can still be punished by being removed from the population; forced to be alone.

This same fear of ‘solitary confinement’ can be found outside of prison. In fact, this fear is acting like a governor which limits the extent to which a person is living their life.

This ‘glass ceiling’ is something we need to eliminate from our lives and by doing so we’ll act as an example which will help our fellow man take action in their own life.

Fear of being the Outcast

The potential for being rejected or ostracized from your social group is not something which only terrifies you psychologically, it also impacts you on a physiological level.

Your body will actively work against whatever action will lead to a judging panel from your peers.

Why do you think it’s so difficult for people to:

  • Speak in public?
  • Publish an essay?
  • Release a painting to the world?

The answer is that each of these acts require you to make yourself vulnerable and open to judgement.

This judgement of your ideas puts you at risk for expulsion from the group and viewing it from a historical perspective, if you’re tossed from your tribe, you’re dead.

Now here comes the other side of that double edged sword.

If you never put yourself at risk of judgement and rejection, are you ever truly alive?

I don’t think so and it’s because of that driving force to experience the entire spectrum of living that I promote taking those risks and putting yourself out there.

It’s a New Age

Our physical response to being judged stems from a time period where life itself was linked with the tribe.

It’s 2017, you aren’t dead if your friends don’t hang out with you anymore.

In fact, a majority of your friends are people you shouldn’t be hanging out with in the first place.

Statistically speaking, your closest friends are probably guys who live a mediocre life, exhibit conformist behavior, and are fully plugged in and supportive of the feminine imperative.

These men aren’t challenging you to raise your standard of living or to authentically express your masculine nature; yet you’re afraid to lose them.

Stick with the right Group

Find the Lions and Run With Them

The next time you feel the desire to speak up or take an action, even though you normally take the passive path of avoiding judgement, I want you to let it out.

  • Your hands may get sweaty.
  • You may feel your pulse in your teeth.
  • Your ears might get hot.

But dammit man you have  to take action.

This isn’t limited to asking someone to get out of your way while shopping at Target (which some can’t do) this covers the entire spectrum of performance.

  • Approaching a girl at the bar.
  • Giving a speech to your class.
  • Standing up to your parents
  • Starting a blog and actually writing posts for the world to critique and criticize.
  • Saying “No”
  • Stepping in when you feel the need to get involved, possibly requiring physical confrontation.
  • Displaying your artwork, poetry, or other creation you’ve been wanting to show the world.

For all of these to provide you with the greatest amount of satisfaction, you have to do.

Yes, all of these open you up to rejection, being ostracized due to your opinion, you may lose the fight or argument, and your essay or artwork may be brutally massacred by those who view and review it.

So what?

Aren’t you tired of wondering, What If‘?

  • What if you’d said something?
  • What if you’d written out those great stories that were in your head?
  • What if you entered your artwork into a competition?
  • What if you spoke to that cute girl at the bookstore?

Here’s my question for you: What if you made the decision to live your life as opposed to going over the what ifs inside your mind.

Find out the answer to ‘what if’?

Put yourself out there and face the potential for rejection head on.


If you would like to support The Family Alpha you may do so using the links below.



A Beautiful Suicide

There is Life in Death

In the wake of the Vegas shooting, I feel the need to write about something which illustrates a point of mine and others who write about masculinity and the authentic development of men.

Men are the romantics, we’d die for those we love, literally. Yet even with the self-sacrifice and extraordinary feats of men, we’re still considered toxic. Fuck it, I’ve completely eliminated society’s opinion from my give a shit folder.

For those who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice, I’ve begun to view it as a Beautiful Suicide.

Now, that is quite the oxymoron as there is absolutely nothing “beautiful” about the loss of life. But, if you look at it from the very micro environment from which the death occurs, there’s a beautiful tragedy which unfolds.

There are those who’ve argued with me over this and find these actions to be taken by men who are brainwashed by the feminine imperative. The MGTOW community especially has challenged me on this stance as they’re angered by the fact that men are the disposable sex and they believe we should fight against it.

I disagree completely and feel that if we were to fight against our nature to die for what it is we love, then we are repressing our masculine nature even further.

I’d written a majority of this post earlier in the year, right after the USS Fitzgerald collision where I heard the story of Gary Rehm Jr.

FC1 Rehm Jr.

Rehm was a Sailor in the United States Navy and he died saving his brothers-in-arms. I also served in the Navy, as an engineer, and if our ship was to be hit my General Quarters station (battle position) was in the bowels of the ship to ensure pumps were working to keep water flowing for the firefighting team.

The problem with my position in the ship and what killed Gary was the same, in order to save the ship you have to seal hatches closed to prevent water from flowing into the next compartment.

When Gary’s ship, the USS Fitzgerald collided with a merchant ship 3x its size the hull was breached above and below the waterline.

Rehm jumped to action, at 0130 in the morning after being thrown from his rack, he started damage control assessment. He made it his point to go into the damaged area of the ship and pull other sailors from the ruins.

He went in and pulled men out, each time the water levels were rising higher and higher and he kept going back in.

Finally, seeing that the water was almost flooding into the next compartment, he made the decision to dive into the water to save others he knew were still in there, there was no coercion, this was an intentional decision and he knew the risk.

While he was searching for his trapped sailors, the order was given to close the hatch, Gary’s fate was sealed.

He could have walked away safe, already a hero, nobody ordered him to go into the flooded space once, never-mind time and again. He could have lived, but that isn’t what this man was about, that wasn’t even an option.

Gary Rehm Jr

I believe he knew he was going to die the last time he entered the space, I also believe that he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t try, so into the black water he dove, for the last time.

Gary was 3 months from retirement.

I left this essay in my drafts as I felt the military aspect of his self-sacrifice would be lost on the civilian community and people would somehow believe that only the military would perform actions like these. I didn’t want people to read my piece and think that there was no place for heroism and personal loss for the survival of others to be found in the civilian sector.

Then I read about Sonny Melton, a man who, before running from gunshots in Las Vegas made the decision to wrap his body around his wife’s. He knew full well why he was doing what he was doing and he was correct in his reasoning.

This man died protecting the woman he loved. He made the intentional decision in that moment that he was going to be her shield and that if a bullet was going to be taken, it would be taken by him, not her.

There is beauty in that.

So few have this level of passion and commitment to anything in their life. Whether you are dedicated to those you serve with as was the case with Gary Rehm or you are shielding your loved ones such as Sonny Melton – it makes no difference. The point is that men commit to those they love and their duty with every fiber of their being, they are willing to die for their cause.

I do not weep at the loss of these men, I praise their existence and hope their standard and actions ring loud for all to hear.

Do not waste this beautiful thing we call life. If you have to lose it, go down fighting and defending what it is you love.


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Mentouring – A 21 Convention Review

First off, I have to give credit where credit is due, my wife came up with the term mentouring.

While I wouldn’t say that the speakers themselves are “touring” to provide their speeches, the event itself is literally touring the globe and speakers are coming from across the nation.

The 21 Convention is an international convention and one that is continuing to grow, especially after having incorporated The Red Pill community.

I haven’t written a post in a few weeks as I’ve been working on my thesis (submitted & graded – 100% finally done with my Master’s) as well as preparing for the convention.

This piece will be my only written review of The 21 Convention. I will be doing a Podcast with Craig James of Masculine by Design as well as Gentlemen Jak from A King’s Castle.


Leaving the family is never fun, but our families are not our mission and there are times where we must separate what we want to do from what we have to do.

I had to attend this; writing, speaking, and helping other men learn how to better help themselves is my mission in life and there are times where it conflicts with my responsibilities as a husband and father.

This is the burden men have, this is the cross we bear.

Attending this event was going to change my life, I knew this going into it. I also knew that by attending this event I was going to miss two of my son’s baseball games, a team which I am the head coach of.

Missing those games sucked, fortunately for me I have a stellar wife who recorded videos and kept me up to date with what was going on (they won both).

My wife made the distance seem a little smaller, and I greatly appreciated her doing that for me.

The Speakers

I interacted with every speaker, but the ones I am going to list here are the ones that made an impact:

Rian Stone: I think the first thing he said to me was, “Hey faggot” from there everything was exactly as you’d expect from two sailors. I was with this guy every day before he had to take off early and quite literally the reason my speech did so well was because of the one he gave right before me that I built upon. He’s a solid dude who was exactly what I expected.

Rian is the kind of guy that if he showed up at my house today, we’d be right back at it. Similar to my approach, he made himself available to everyone the entire time,  and one who showed exactly why he was invited to speak.

Ivan Throne: Ivan and I spent each day together discussing family, business, the future, the present, and the past. I became instant friends with him as well as his dog, which I’ve come to calling SwoopDogg as this canine got more chicks flocking to him in one night than the entirety of the convention all week.

Ivan is the real deal, he’s passionate about what he believes in and his presentation was one which struck a chord with the men attending. He pulled no punches and drove the point home that as men, it is our duty to act and if you choose the path of passive existence, you need to get the fuck out of the way.

I do not believe this was the last time I’ll be seeing him in person.

Rollo Tomassi: This fucking guy is the OG of TRP & in my mind the Manosphere in general, he’s a funny motherfucker, and in all honesty was one of the leading forces behind the shift in the 21 Convention’s direction.

Rollo made himself completely accessible to the attendees and I think he took the brunt of the questions, stories, and overall swarm of discussion. Again, this is not an easy tasking nor is it required for him to do so.

I wanted to talk to him as much as everyone else, but this was about them, not us and Rollo was a fucking champ about it the entire time.

We’ve all read the posts, but to hear him speak on the subjects of masculinity, hypergamy, etc. it brings new life to those old words and really drove the point even deeper in your mind.

Rollo has a post for everything and I half expected him to pass out papers of essays instead of answering questions, but night after night he was there with a line of men trying to get a hold of this Red Pill rock-star. He’s is a standup guy who lives the message he writes.

Tanner Guzy: Tanner is a guy who I’ve messaged behind closed doors to let know that I appreciated his writing and while we don’t really interact that much on the web, I’m a huge fan of everything he has going on.

When we met in person, it was an immediate familiarity. He came right in, shook hands, said hello, and we just kicked it off. His wife was there as his photographer and she was incredibly nice as well. I spoke with both of them at a house party about my kids, their kids, online business, etc.

Tanner and his wife are quality people and I believe they’re exactly what this world needs more of. My blog and future products are going to be of higher quality directly because of the conversations we shared.

Goldmund Unleashed: Goldmund is the real deal, there is no conformist, fake, or ‘showman’ in him. He is who he is and does what he does.

He is the most immediately connected man I met at the event, quite literally he just popped up behind Rian and I with his coffee and it was all smiles and joking from there. I’m not even sure we formally met, we just started talking and having a great time.

That laid back attitude can be misinterpreted as going with the flow, which if you heard his speech that is not the case at all. He created a solid layout for these men to help them start looking inside themselves to find out who it is they truly are and where it is they want to go.

He gives a shit and took time to speak with each man who wanted a book, to check out his Masculine Accessories (I got some swag and my T levels jumped by 50).

He also helped each man who presented their individual insecurities with talking to women; that isn’t easy when you’ve got 20+ men asking you for a tailored program, but Goldmund hung in there and answered them all.

Christian McQueen: Christian was the person my wife was worried about as he is ‘The Playboy‘ and seeing the dude live, it’s no fucking joke. He is intense when it comes to business, professional when it comes to dealing with those asking questions, and a fucking blast to be around. I had a few conversations with the guy and he is a stand up dude who I’d want in my corner any day.

It wasn’t all girls either. We talked masculinity, business, family, etc. Most try to pigeonhole him into this one caricature when in fact he is much more and I think that bothers people.

He knows his shit and for me, as a married man with kids in a totally different stage in life, I still connected with the message as authenticity and masculinity are universally understood and respected.

Socrates: This fucking dude. I didn’t get much time with him at all as people always jumped in, but god dammit if I didn’t feel like I knew the guy forever. During our ‘post event‘ interview with Rollo, I was so fucking exhausted that one glass of Crown I drank during the interview blacked me out. I don’t remember shit from the interview except laughing my ass off with Socrates.

I later found out that I went to eat with Soc and ended up passing the fuck out at the table. Don’t mix no sleep with booze.

If that interview comes to light, I expect you’ll be laughing as hard as we were.

Anthony Johnson: I saved the best for last. This is the dude who made it happen and the final ‘Yes‘ to get me to this event. We didn’t get to interact much as his was handling everything for the event, but he believes in what it is he says and the mission/challenge he has taken on, just wait until you hear his final speech, motivating as fuck.

The Event

My wife asked me, “Why did you stay for every speech and always go down to the bar or out with the guys when you could grab some needed sleep?”

The answer was simple, I wanted to provide every opportunity I could for the men attending to see another man living his passion, embodying his message, and finding comfort in the discomfort.

I wasn’t sleeping well while in Florida, maybe 2-4 hours a night. But, how could I tell these men to push past their comfort zone if I was making sure I squeezed in naps?

Few, if any speaker stayed for the entirety of the event. I did, not because I really cared about what everyone was putting out, but rather because I knew that during each break these men would be asking me questions about the subject being discussed and if I wasn’t listening, I’d have no clue what they were talking about.

I, along with every other speaker was swarmed during each break, each dinner, event, outing, etc.

That shit is mentally taxing.

I wasn’t truly prepared for the relentless questions, stories, etc. On top of that, I gave my first live presentation and first speech in front of a crowd ever, I was nervous as shit and to receive a standing ovation after the fact was surreal.

It was a little overwhelming at first but I did my best to keep up and ensure I was saying what I meant and giving everyone their own time and attention.

Still, even when speakers were trying to talk to one another and would be interrupted, we’d give the attendee our all and didn’t treat it as any sort of annoyance,  we weren’t there for ourselves, we were there for the attendees.

The men who dedicated their time and money gaining access to those who were sending out a message of masculine reclamation deserved everything we had to offer, and each of us gave it.

I hung out in downtown Orlando with these men until 0400, then attended conferences from 0900 to 1900 then went out again until 0300 walking the streets with Jack Donovan and Ivan Throne which is something that I, as well as the other men will remember for quite some time.

This event was a game changer & 2018 is going to be even better.

Anthony Johnson has created the next step for the ‘Manosphere’ and the fight to reclaim masculinity in men’s lives and preserve it in our society.

He is removing the medium, bringing men together, and producing content at a rate which is impressively aggressive.

Return & What’s Next?

I’ve been home for roughly three days now and I’ve dedicated most of that time to thinking about, what now?

For the speakers, I hope this acts as fuel for future growth and desire to help get content out for those men who continue to struggle, plugged-in to a society who hates their authentic nature.

For the attendees, I hope the words were received and a plan is being formulated to put them into action.

Remember, Acta, Non VerbaDeeds, Not Words.

You spent valuable time and money to attend the event, make it count towards something. You need to make those words received become fuel for tangible improvements in your life. You attended The 21 Convention for a reason, now face that reason head on and make sure you come out on top.

Living an authentically masculine life sets an example which breaks the bonds for your brethren. Your example will allow them to break the conformist ranks, so take action and embody your message.

For myself, I’ve seen these men face to face. I’ve shaken their hands, heard their stories, and witnessed how real this all is. I hope to create products and write pieces which act as a catalyst for sustained superior performance.

I’m not worried about the next two weeks as these men are riding a high, I’m worried about two months from now when the desire of comfort comes creeping in. When it does, my writing will be there to catch any man who begins to fall back into the hole from which they came.

All of the speakers threw a rope to those who needed help to climb out of that hole. Now you must climb, and when you reach the top, you must ask yourself, do you march forward living the rest of your life in a genuine manner, or do you choose to stick around and throw a rope to the next man.

Either way you’re right, but those who choose to throw a rope, I look forward to seeing the resources and content you provide.


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Why Perfection Will Kill You

Sometimes you feel as though it’s you against the entire world. I get it, I’ve been there.

I often write about the positives of my life.

I write about how well my son and daughter are doing, how great my wife and I are doing, and that my life, as a whole, is awesome.

Today, I want to talk about the deep valleys I’ve walked to reach these peaks. I want to do this not so I can feel that fresh stab of past pains in my heart, but rather, because I want men to see, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you just need to keep walking through hell to get there.

I’ve been there. I get it.

I’ve been in the car, unable to hear the sound of music or wind because I’m so lost in my head. Heart pounding, pulse in my teeth, with the loudest voice in my head saying, “What would happen if you just pulled the steering wheel into that tree, pole, or median…?

I’ve been in the shower, the only place I could truly be alone and just sat on the floor, staring at the drain, letting the hot water scald me while I regressed into the abyss of my mind wondering, “Where did it go so wrong…?

I’ve punched through the walls.

I’ve had the drunken nights.

I’ve screamed into the pillows.

I’ve cried my eyes out until there wasn’t a drop left to shed.

I’ve told myself, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I did everything right, there’s no point to this fucking life…

I’ve reached the point where I didn’t care if I was alive or dead.

The point where my only relief was sleeping because that was my only escape from reality. All I wanted to do was retreat to the realm of unconscious and even there I was at risk of attack from the self-hate and loathing which I felt in my day to day existence.

Retreat only prolongs the pain; it kicks the solution to the suffering down the road.

I decided to stand up and choose risking death on my feet than to continue ‘living’ another day on my knees.

I did this alone.

I should have had my brethren there to help me.

Society has recognized this and in an attempt to deconstruct and eradicate the masculine man, they’ve made it so men cannot find one another.

This is why I’m writing.

This is a rope being thrown to you, hoping you find it and climb out of the hole before you choose to end it all, or worse, quit and remain ‘living’ in your grave.

Living in a constant state of anxiety, fear, and self-repression isn’t living at all, it’s barely existing and it is this state which I’m hoping this piece helps pull men from.

You don’t have to be Perfect, you have to be you.

The anxiety, suicidal thoughts, depression, and self-hate stem from the thoughts of how things ‘should be‘.

You look at who you are and you compare it to how the perfect self would be. You think of your life as it is and how you feel your life should be.

You’ve said the nice things and walked the righteous path,yet the ‘asshole’ is winning and here you are, chopped liver.

Listen to me now brothers, your life is exactly how it should be and you are who you’ve decided to be.

At any point you could make the decision to flip the switch and start living a genuine life. It isn’t easy and it isn’t quick, but it beats living another minute hating the fact that you’re still awake.

We can destroy that voice inside telling you how terrible you are, how inadequate you are, how stupid you are…

We can silence it through action.

We can take swift action and overpower that internal demon with overwhelming violence.

I say we because your fellow men are here to help, but it is you who will be executing the action and delivering the pain to that internal demon.

That violence will be lifting weights when you don’t want to.

Following your own imperative and not the one society has instructed you to follow and support.

Answering life questions honestly.

Discovering who you are by being who you are as opposed to the guy you think others will like.

These acts destroy that voice, they take the power from it.

Life isn’t about perfection.

It isn’t about being the person you thought you would be when you were younger.

It’s about being who you are, regardless of the reception you receive from others. Life is full of conformist personalities looking to gain favor by replicating one another.

Break free from that mold.

When you do that, almost immediately you’ll feel light shine through the dark clouds in your heart and mind. When you tell someone, “No.” for the first time, you’ll feel so empowered because for the first time, you’ve drawn a boundary.

Only then will you begin to experience the joy that exists in the world in which we live.

It’s now up to you to decide what you do with the fire which burns inside.

Only then will you find love for yourself and a flame in your heart, passion for life, and desire to continue on.

Stop thinking ‘you used to be somebody‘ or that life would be great ‘if only X didn’t happen‘ because everyone  used to be somebody; only the strong choose to continue being somebody in the here and now and guess what? X happened to you, but it isn’t you.

What happened to you must not become who you are.

It happened, be strong enough to leave it behind and refuse to identify with it; that’s victim mindset and you aren’t a victim.

You’re a man who is desperately needed in our society.

Drop the Perfect, Embrace the Harsh Reality; Find Comfort in the Discomfort.

Life is tough.

You are tougher.

Don’t believe it?

You’re still here aren’t you?

Everyone goes through dark nights. At some point, every man is going to have to stare into the abyss that exists in his self.

That’s part of being a man, it’s a part of our burden of performance. We love fiercely, the inverse is also true. We feel the highest highs and the lowest lows because we are the more romantic of the sexes.

For those who are currently choosing to reside in those deep valleys, this is me putting my hand out there. You’re being given a chance to take hold and start climbing that mountain with me and your fellow men.

Upon finishing this essay, take a moment to assess where you’re at and recognize you aren’t alone in this battle.

If you need to, reach out to me or any other man whom you relate to for help. All will listen, men help men.

Do not discuss your problem without any intention of finding a solution; that’s redundancy without progress.

Work towards solving the problem.

That may mean divorce, breaking up with a toxic woman, removing negative friends and family from your life, etc.

Whatever is required to help you remove the incessant voice in your head telling you that you aren’t good enough and that you need to be ‘perfect’; do that thing.

Life is too short to waste the beauty of it wishing things weren’t the way they are.

Embrace reality.

You are who you are and your life is what it is.

Today, choose to stand.

Choose to get off your knees and take a stand against those who look to beat you down into submission.

Existing is not living.

Choose to embrace your authentic masculine nature and if others find issue with that, so be it; Your life’s purpose is not to make those around you comfortable.

Acta Non Verba,


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