Fatherhood In Our Modern Times; A Podcast With Craig James and Rollo Tomassi

Craig James from Masculine by Design and Co-President along with myself over at the FraternityofExcellence.Com hosted a Podcast where the two of us along with Rollo Tomassi from The Rational Male discussed marriage and more importantly, fatherhood.

Being a father in this day and age is no easy task, which is fine because if it were easy it wouldn’t be fun.

Many knowledge bombs and insights are shared in this discussion and both Rollo and I open up on our personal experiences, from before marriage all the way to where we are today. Along the way we offer advice to those who are currently parents as well as the men who see being a father in their future.

Give the Chat a listen and let me know what you think.

Hunter

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From Boy to Soy: The Story of Young American Men & Your Role as a Father

In Modern Day Agoge I laid the foundation as to how I am raising my son to understand the world in which we live as well as expose him to the arts, philosophy, mathematics, and experiments which go beyond the ‘pass the test’ lessons he’ll receive in school.

In Modern Day Agoge Part II I dive further into how you can get your son to take pride in what it is that makes him a man (in training). Things such as his beard (peach fuzz for my little guy), muscles, competitive nature, etc.

This piece is about the lives a majority of young men in America are living. It’s also a warning and reminder of why we’re doing what we do in the Manosphere.

Why I, as a married father of two dedicate hours of my life to talking to other men about authentic living, masculinity, and the importance of being a present father.

I could pursue other business ventures, I could spend more time writing books and reading them, but I am passionate about this topic and I truly want to help my fellow man reach that level of optimal living and pure joy that I experience day in and out.

I want to bottle the essence of it and give it to all because every day I’ve got the biggest smile on face just because I’m alive.

We all need to smile more, but I digress.

My son is almost eight years old, which is the perspective I’m writing from. I’m a father of a passionate, determined, proud young man who is roughly in the middle of his childhood.

While most of his friends are being raised by screens; I have my son outdoors, growing stronger with the help of sunshine, rain, books, family, and his little sister keeping him on his toes.

While most boys see their fathers ‘relaxing’ on the couch Monday through Friday as they return from work, my son asks me to go out back and train with him, as tired as I am, I always go.

Your Son will follow your example, not your advice.

While most fathers complain of their children being ‘entitled little shits‘, a part of the ‘no attention span generation‘, and ‘always having their face in their tablet‘ I have nothing but bold remarks and pride for my son.

This is where our story begins; fathers are failing.

From Boy to Soy

There is no need for me to capture what has happened to the modern man and lay it out for you here, if you’re following my blog then you’re well versed in the repression of self, eradication of any masculine support networks, and apathetic lives men have been beaten into.

Often times we focus on the man when prescribing a remedy to the ailments he suffers from physically and mentally.

We focus on helping him express his genuine nature, learn to better understand the opposite sex, and we point him towards resources which will enable him to reclaim his mind, body, and spirit.

What about his boy?

What about the young man who has been watching (from birth) his father act as the masculine apologist and supplicating oaf?

What are we doing to ensure that these men, the ones who’ve begun to unplug, take the time to bring their sons along the less taken path of masculine expression?

These poor boys have watched their father’s every move.

Until they’re roughly five/six these boys will view you, their father, with uncompromising idolization.

You’re unbeatable, their true hero, like Zeus himself.

Then what?

  1. Then they start to see that you’re always laying on the couch or watching TV.
  2. They see that you’re on the sideline, never coaching their teams.
  3. They see that you don’t have the body of superman.
  4. They see that you always tell them to “go play” instead of getting down on the floor and playing or going out with them.
  5. They see that you’re always on your phone.
  6. They see that you’re always eating.
  7. They see that you cower and submit to all, never standing your ground.
  8. They see you drink alcohol every day to numb yourself.
  9. They see you go from phone to TV to tablet to phone, never really immersing in the real world at all, always distracting the mind.
  10. They see all, they’re always watching, and they’re going to follow your example, not your advice.

These boys were born with software in their brain designed to make them the beasts of humanity; software in their mind which would make them strong, fast, sexual, and capable of living a life filled with joy.

That software was removed.

It was removed by you, their own flesh and blood, their own father.

You allowed society to move in and fill the vacuum created by your lack of presence.

You allowed the school system to be responsible for their education instead of choosing to take the time to teach your own child.

You decide you loved the comfort of modern living more so than you did your own child.

This is not an argument, this is fact.

If you loved your child you would have:

  • Intervened when you saw him gaining weight.
  • Taken action and gotten him moving when you noticed he was weak and suffering from preventable health complications and lack of confidence.
  • Brought him under your wing and taught him the ways of women so that he did not fall victim to nice guyitis.
  • Been present and involved ensuring that your son defaulted to expressing his authentically masculine nature and not repressing it to fit in with the rest of our weaksauce society.

You didn’t do any of that, because you were too fucking comfortable.

Because of that, today’s young men are physically, mentally, and spiritually weak.

They’re sad because their natural instinct and genuine self is still screaming inside, deep, deep inside their mind. Begging and pleading to be released like a man who knows he is innocent yet is about to be locked away for life.

These boys inherently know that they should be strong, fit, and irrationally confident yet they aren’t and they aren’t sure why.

Raise a Lion from birth like it’s a dog and one day it will rip your fucking face off.

Why?

Because it’s a fucking Lion.

Our boys have the hearts of lions inside of them and it’s up to us, as fathers to release that beast.

Is there a solution?

There is only one possible cure to this disease which is eviscerating masculinity; action on the part of their fathers.

You are their only hope.

As cliché as that sounds, it’s the truth.

Your children are going to follow your example, not your advice and they’re going to rise to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

Fix yourself and they will follow.

Set the bar high for you and watch how nobody else can complain as they watch you pick the heaviest thing up first and put it down last.

Train your son. When he walks onto the ‘field of life’ he does so alone. Make sure you’ve equipped him with the skills needed to not only survive, but to thrive.

You are their leader.

You are the only thing that can save these young men from a life of regret, misery, depression, and anxiety.

Do not allow women to tell our boys how to be men. Do not allow the school system, society, or the media to fill your child’s mind. You are their father, that is your job along with their mother.

We mock the weakness of the younger generations, yet their weakness is a direct result of our poor leadership.

When you unplug and commit to unfucking yourself, remember the eyes that have watched you for years. They don’t have a Red Pill, Manosphere, or Hunter Drew helping them along the way, you have to fill that role.

There is hope gentlemen.

I’m often mocked for my positive view on life, but it’s the way I am and always will be.

I believe in hope.

I believe in you.

I believe that masculinity will survive and it is a direct result of the effort you are willing to put in day and night.

You may have felt some anger or regret while reading this. Let it go, the past is gone.

What we need is love; love is what will get you over that hurdle, love is what will get you in action with your son by your side.

Let’s work together to bring down ‘Big Soy’ and save our sons and our son’s sons.

Acta Non Verba,

Hunter

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Positive Masculinity Puts a Spotlight on Red Pill Parenting

The best way to fight back against those who are looking to eradicate all things masculine, is to destroy the notion that masculinity is something to be associated with negativity.

We’ve all heard it:

  • You’re too aggressive
  • You’re too competitive
  • You’re too focused on your job, your strength, your beard, etc.

Society’s support of the female imperative has led to men repressing every fiber of their masculine nature in order to ‘get ahead’ in a world which despises his very existence.

Speak It

Getting the discussion going between men, about how expression of masculinity is required (not repression) is critical as it plants seeds in the minds of those who listen.

Yesterday I spent over an hour and a half talking with Craig James of Masculine by Design about exactly this. (Find the Podcast here).

Write It

Another means to reaching the masses and helping our brethren who are suffering in silence is by spreading the written word.

It is the typed and written word which inspired this post as Rollo Tomassi of The Rational Male has released his third book Positive Masculinity.

While Rollo has been running his blog for years and has released two other solid reads (The Rational Male & Preventive Medicine (Volume II)) this one is especially important  (and relevant to The Family Alpha) as it focuses on something which is near and dear to my heart and that of those who read my work, Family.

From his Announcement Post Rollo shows us the four themes which the book is comprised of:

The book outlines four key themes: Red Pill Parenting, The Feminine Nature, Social Imperatives and Positive Masculinity.

Each of these topics are sure to improve our understanding of the world and how expression of our biological nature is the only path men should follow; more than that, an entire quarter of the book is dedicated to those men who, like myself, are working to raise sons and daughters properly and to arm them with the knowledge needed to live an authentic life in a society which promotes degeneracy and conformity.

I’m grabbing my copy tonight and I recommend all fathers who follow me do the same.

Invest in yourself and your family by picking up a copy of Positive Masculinity (Volume III).
Acta Non Verba,

Hunter

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Modern Day Agoge Part II

Your son should live a genuine life expressing his masculine identity.

Your son should live a genuine life expressing his masculine identity.

I first wrote of how I’d created a modern version of Agoge back in September 2016. Since writing that post, ‘Modern Day Agoge: A man’s path to raising a masculine son in a feminized society.‘ I’ve received countless emails from other fathers asking how they could implement this style of home education & a Rite of Passage into the lives & relationship with their son.

In the first post I touched on the specific subjects, this one will go beyond the scope of the literal topics and more into the ‘Why & How’ of it all.

We live in a fast paced, time wasting, numb society. Everything is being created to make living more ‘comfortable‘. This is in direct conflict with the development of masculinity and it’s also detrimental to sustaining your masculine nature as a man.

Choosing to have a child is one of the biggest decisions of your life. The amount of time, money, and personal sacrifice required is great. I want you to think longer and harder about this than the average schmuck who has kids because ‘his wife wants to‘ or because that’s what he feels he ‘should‘ do via society’s pressure on men to settle down & support the female imperative.

In my post The Burden of Family I talk about the necessity of viewing your family as fuel and not an anchor. You have to consider this before having kids. They are going to take away most of the ‘you time’. This is the burden of men; balancing the desire for conquest and glory with development of the lives responsible to.

If you want to follow the type of path I’m forging with my boy, then you need to be prepared to commit a significant amount of quality time with him.

Sitting & watching TV or eating shitty foods and talking about your day is not quality time. If you’ve set the goal of reclaiming your masculine self and at the same time want to prevent your son from ever suffering the pain of The Void, then you need to be ready read, teach, answer questions, and do it all at the expense of your personal development.

When I read a book to my son, conduct science experiments, discuss philosophy, teach him math, or answer the 1,000 questions he has, I am not blogging, writing, reading my own books, doing my own schoolwork, or pursuing the other personal goals I have.

I am OK with this as I chose to have children and I have a limitless reserve of masculine energy & confidence in self.

I may not have the time to read or write as much as I would like or as much as the other bloggers & authors out there. But, they don’t get the personal satisfaction and joy which I experience with my son. The trade-off is worth it to me.

You may find that it isn’t to you.

Not all fathers have the same goals and not all fathers are capable of choosing the development of their son over the development of their ‘self’.

I’m not here to judge, but I want it to be clear, this path does not work for every father out there. I will ask that you take a deep introspective moment to decide if it’s worth it.

Your son needs you, when you feel the weight is too much, dig deeper and find that reserve of masculine power which never fails you.

The future of masculinity is in our youth. I think the loss of sleep due to pushing the schedule back to make time for raising our boys is worth it.

Don’t ask for more hours in the day, they don’t appear (trust me). Instead, get better at managing your time.

The Responsibility of Fatherhood

Remember, your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

They’ll follow your masculine example over your fatherly advice.

This is why you must:

  • Read to them & with them
  • Exercise Together
  • Develop Home Lessons on a variety of subjects
  • Drill them with physical & mental tests

I’ve been asked if there was a set schedule my son and I followed with regards to his ‘masculine pipeline’. To a degree, yes there is a schedule as we have certain subjects set for certain days.

This does not mean that we don’t shift things around, cater to holidays, vacations, etc. or that there is any strict adherence to this schedule.

There are times where we have to skip our science day because baseball practice ran late or a family member is in town. I will always acknowledge it to let my son know that we are missing a lesson so that he doesn’t think I forgot or that it doesn’t matter.

As the masculine example & leader in the family you’ve got to ensure that your son is being equipped with the right ‘programming’ in his mind.

Do not allow a screen to raise your child. Immerse in the world.

Do not allow a screen to raise your child. Immerse in the world.

It is not the responsibility of the government to ensure our children are properly educated. Their job is to provide the most basic of fundamental development. The problem with letting them run his entire education is that the entire organizational structure is geared towards support of the feminine imperative.

He will be conditioned to repress his natural thoughts and actions in favor of what has been deemed by our weak society as ‘appropriate’.

Fuck. That.

It is your responsibility to create a system which counteracts this conditioning. You select your lessons based on what you believe your son should know. As I write this I realize that I have not taught my son wilderness survival. I’m making a note on our calendar that I need to teach him to build shelter, find food, hunt, hydrate, etc.

This is the mindset you need to have.

If you build a program like my modern Agoge, you’ll be able to easily add/subtract from it. If you never develop a ‘home training’ system then you’ll never develop the habit of thinking, what can I teach my son today?

He needs you. All of our boys need a masculine example. A fathers and men it is our responsibility to fill that role and develop our sons to being able to reach even greater heights than we attain ourselves.

My son won’t need TFA in his life, neither will he need The Red Pill; his default will be that of a masculine man.

Embracing Masculinity

A part of this Modern Agoge is helping my son develop and express his masculine nature.

I reinforce his masculine habits and developments through amplified praise of manly nature frequently. The other day in the middle of dinner I got up, walked over to my son, put my face in his, and exclaimed to the family that his mustache was starting to fill in (he’s 7). I made it a thing and he was so proud and we all ‘cheered’ to him, it was awesome.

I heard him bragging to his friend a few days later about how his mustache was ‘growing bigger‘.

He frequently talks about having a beard when he’s older, just like dad’s, his muscles/strengthand one time when I asked him why he was running around the front yard in the cold without a shirt on he said, “Because I’m a man”.

While I made him put it back on, I was proud that he was expressing who he was vice repressing that genuine nature & self.

When we have our philosophy lessons I explain to him that being a man isn’t all about war and physically prowess but also the mental strength which must be forged.

I speak of great leaders, warriors, and brilliant minds who were all equally masculine in their endeavors.

I let him wrestle, use tools/weapons, and do not try to bubble wrap him in an attempt to keep him from experiencing harm. There have been times where I’ve warned him that doing something could hurt and when he tried it anyway, I did not prevent the painful result.

He learned his lesson the hard way, as we all must.

Whether he is falling off a wall or wounded from wrestling, I do not run to him. I watch him pick himself up, covered in mud, blood, or tears and let him console and compose himself. Only then will I go to him to check for permanent damage to the body or mind and I’ll provide a lesson.

There are too many coddling fathers. Sometimes you have to put your hand on your son’s shoulder and tell him that he failed because he wasn’t good enough.

There are days where we don’t measure up. This is reality.

I have failed, my son has failed, and we will both continue to do so as there’s no other way to know where that line is until you cross it and fall hard onto your face.

A while back my son fell off a gnarly rock wall at the playground. The things is a beast and his friends wouldn’t even attempt it He was upset and I told him it’s because he hadn’t trained hard enough with his climbing.

He did not look to me with a self-defeated attitude, he looked up at me with embarrassment and fear he had disappointed me.

So I told him, “Son, I’m not disappointed you failed to reach the top. You tried something the other kids wouldn’t try and you failed. Today you are not ready for this wall, but I promise you that every kid who saw you climb and fall wishes they were able to attempt it. Your mind is strong and I know you’ll workout harder and keep practicing until you can scale it. You entered the arena and you were beaten, but look at the other kids, they all stand in the crowd, afraid to even try.”

These are the talks you need to be having with your son. They need know that life isn’t sunshine and rainbows. They need to know that if they do not prepare then they will fail and that failure is not acceptable but rather it should be used a fuel for future growth.

Test him physically & mentally. Every obstacle he overcomes is another fold in the steel, strengthening his 'self'.

Test him physically & mentally. Every obstacle he overcomes is another fold in the steel, strengthening his ‘self’.

My son has since climbed to the top of that wall. He practiced and pushed himself every chance he got whenever we went anywhere. Then when he took it on again, he zipped right up.

I was proud, he was proud, and the lesson was instilled.

Preparation for War

Every time I have to travel for work I tell my son that he is the ‘Man of the house‘ while I’m away. The first time I said this, I asked him if he knew what that meant; he said “No”.

I then went on to explain to him that men are both the Shield and Spear of their family. As men we are required to protect our clan from external forces (Shield) and attack our enemies when required (Spear).

I then spoke of the many roles he may not be aware that I filed for our family. I told him that in my absence he’d have to be the one my daughter went to when she didn’t understand something. That he would have to do the man’s chores (Trash, yard, kill bugs, etc.) and that he would have to make sure that everyone was safe and sound.

This is all a formality, the kid is 7. I know my wife will be holding down the fort while I’m away as she is both my Queen & Warrior, but I want to begin forging the pathways in his mind where he know, at some point, he will be the one to fill these roles.

His time will come when he moves out of my sphere of control and into the ‘real world’ to make it as a man. I want him to know what’s expected of masculine men in society. Unfortunately there could be a time where our sons have to fill that role sooner than we expected. If I’m killed by a drunk driver tonight, then my son’s lessons will be over if I had not taught him what it was that men are expected to do, then someone else would and too often that someone else is already deeply in support of the feminine imperative.

If you’re asking yourself, When would be the best time to start my son’s Rite of Passage’ then look at the example above and see that the time is now.

The world is a brutal place and masculine men are targeted by all. Prepare your boy for battle by strengthening his mind to where it becomes an impenetrable fortress. His belief in self and masculine development should not be something does, but rather who he is.

Society, the school system, and life as a whole are working against you.

Let everyone else enjoy complacent living. Not you though and not your son, no you’ll find comfort in the discomfort and you’ll live your genuine life.

When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.

You are the torchbearer of masculinity, pass the fire onto the next generation.

Hunter

I write for free, but if you’d to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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Queen & Warrior

In marriage you need a woman who can handle shit the way you'd want her to without having to hold her hand.

In marriage you need a woman who can handle shit the way you’d want her to without having to hold her hand.

Women are submissive by nature and in a healthy marriage a wife will defer to her man when confrontation is required. When vetting your woman, look for her submissive nature while at the same time looking to ensure she’s a strong woman.  My wife submits to me alone, I don’t need her strong in the sense that I need constant support as I’m her Lover, her King – not her child. Look for strength in your woman in the sense that she can be a badass bitch who can lead when you’re not around.

This is a story of a woman who had to go into battle without her husband, a woman who had to stand her ground while her man was at war, the man who is normally both the shield and spear of his family.

About two months ago I was reading The Nine Laws by Ivan Throne when I came across this quote:

“The voice of his mother, which used to sing to him and lull him to sleep as one of the sweetest sounds of the universe, was now silent. There was only the great effort of slowly mouthing words, beginning the long and exhausting process of teaching the boy to lip read as if his life depended on it… and it did.”

I was sitting in my recliner while my daughter was drawing, son was writing, wife was reading, & dog was by my side – and my entire world came to a halt. I put the book down and just looked at my son, then at my wife.

Queen

You see, when my son was a few months (maybe a year) old he started to get ear infections. This went on for a little while then it just stopped, we thought we were in the clear. Then one day he started acting ‘off’,  my wife brought him to the Doctors and they told her he was teething, no ear infection.

It’s important to note that I was in the Navy during all of this. I was in and out of the country at a high tempo and it was on my wife to handle finances, our new son, and living on her own. When I came home from one underway I noticed the change in my son. My wife told me of the hospital results and as new parents we listened.

Then one day it got worse…

My wife brought him back to the doctors after a few months of this and told them of the sleepless nights, the delay in reaching ‘speech milestones’ and the pain he was in.

Tests were done and a result came back saying that he must be sick or is having a hard time with teething, but there was no ear infection. I remember getting the emails from her (I was out to sea again) telling me what was going on, the test results, the actions she was taking, etc.

I felt helpless as I was thousands of miles away, in the middle of the ocean, while my wife was alone and my son was in pain – it was frustrating; but my duty was to my country and I told her that there was no way for me to come home early. I had a job to do and as fucked up as some may think it is, in that life it goes Navy then Family.

Warrior

Upon recognizing the reality of the situation and that her man wasn’t here to fight this battle, my wife took matters into her own hands. She went back to the hospital, with my son screaming in pain, and planted her battle flag.

It was the flag which held my crest & name of my clan and then there was my wife, representing myself and my heir, standing at that hospital with her fucking war face on.

She requested the tests, when denied as they’d ‘already been run’ she demanded them be run again. She then told the nurses, Doctors, and whoever would listen that she was not leaving until my son was treated.

They ran the tests.

Results came back.

My son had an undiagnosed double ear infection. This ear infection had gone untreated for months and in that time it had wreaked havoc inside my son’s ears. His speech delay was because he was deaf, our boy couldn’t hear the world around him and we didn’t even know it.

Flash back to 2016, I’m sitting in my recliner and my world has stopped. As I’m looking at my son I realize, the passage I just read could have been written by him, then I look at my wife and realize it would have been him if it wasn’t for her.

Wife

My wife saved my son from the silent world. She saved him from a very challenging life because she was able to put her armor on, draw a line in the sand, step over it, and plant her flag telling the world, “I am not going to back down from this, submit to my demands or be destroyed.” She forced compliance.

I will never forget this. I came home from my underway and she told me what it is she had done. I was a proud man and had a newfound respect for this woman who took my last name.

Since then, we have had to go through speech therapy, multiple sets of tubes, and other steps to treat the damage. I remember the first time we went to the beach after having tubes put in, he was scared of the waves because every time before that day, they were silent; now he could hear them crash. My wife almost cried and I almost did too, not because of what had happened, but because I was able to appreciate the little things he could now hear. The sound of waves, a bird overhead, music…

My son is now a strong, intelligent, and popular kid who is able to hear the sound of his mother’s voice, the sound of his father’s lessons, and the pride in his younger sister’s voice as she follows him around.

Lover

My woman didn’t fall apart when I wasn’t around. She didn’t crumble under the stress of running a household as a single parent while I was out with my brothers in arms, taking on a different fight. She knew I had a job to do and she knew she did too, so she did it. Because of her commitment to our clan, she didn’t run to mom or dad, she didn’t sulk and cry, an she didn’t just accept ‘No.’ as an answer. My son can hear and it is the direct result of action taken by my lover, my warrior, my Queen, my wife.

Hunter

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Creator of Life

When I had kids I knew my life had changed forever - I was fucking pumped.

When I had kids I knew my life had changed forever – I was fucking pumped.

This is a continuation of my Burden of Family post.

A friend of mine, the creator of the blog Unlocking the Crown recently returned home after his wife delivered triplets. We spoke a few times while his wife was sleeping still in the hospital and I could feel the masculine energy flowing through him. Here he was riding on X minutes of sleep, taking care of his wife, 3 babies, and everything else required to make the transition from hospital to home go as smooth as possible and when we spoke it was like it was just another fucking day.

Aside from my wife, he’s the only person who knows of my blog in my ‘real’ life. So, naturally we touched on the subject of masculinity and fatherhood. During the discussion he said something which inspired this post, he said is isn’t hard managing all of this because these are his kids and that’s his wife, and he was a part of making this happen.

Complete ownership. If you’re going to have kids then you’re going to have to fill the role required of you when the kids show up.

If you’re a father then you played a role in creating life and that means something. No matter how awesome or awkward and uncomfortable the sex was, you had it and a baby was the result. I don’t care if it’s with your wife or with a one night stand; if you played a role in creating a life, then you need to assume the responsibilities that come with the title Father.

You’re poor?  I don’t care.

You’re Young? I don’t care.

You’re really busy? I don’t care.

You didn’t want it? I. Don’t. Care.

You see, as a father I understand the magnitude that comes with raising a life in this day and age. I have two children, a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl and both are in the process of becoming productive, educated, intelligent, good members of our society.

I became a father because my wife and I chose to have a kid, then we did. We made the decision again, and had another; now we’re good.

There is no difference between what is expected of me, a 29 year old married man and the 16 year old boy who just knocked up his freshman sweetheart.

You do your fucking best. You remain as present as you can and you provide the necessities. If the mother wants to be a bitch about it then you get legal documentation which clearly draws the boundaries for time, supervision, requirements, etc.

I don’t live in a fantasy world where kids aren’t having unprotected sex, I know that it’s going to happen, I know right now some kid is hitting it raw dog and doesn’t know enough to pull out because it feels to good and in September he’s going to see a ball of flesh coming out of where he was cumming in.

My aim with this blog isn’t to fight teen sex; part of my goal with this blog is to provide a resource that will raise the standard of men who will then act as an example for the young men in their life. If you act like a masculine man then the boys around you will act like and become masculine men. When they purposefully or accidentally have a child, they’ll act as a masculine man does – complete ownership.

Single Gents

You don't need a Queen to be a King. You don't need a wife to be a father.

You don’t need a Queen to be a King. You don’t need a wife to be a father.

Had sex with the girlfriend or or one night stand and got her pregnant? She (you both) decided to keep the baby?

Cool, it’s dad time.

*Do not think that because you got this woman pregnant that now you have to marry her.

If it was a one night stand, you need to let her know to keep you in the loop. Maybe you’ll try and go steady and figure a way to become an LTR or maybe you’ll just stay in touch over baby things. Both are acceptable options, the key point is you need to know what’s going on with the baby. 

For the one night stand or girlfriends alike, ensure you’re aware of doctor’s appointments, any complications, preparations for where the baby will live, getting stuff together for the arrival, planning for names, etc. You’re a part of all of this and the best thing you can do is remain civil with this woman. You may not know her at all, start discussing family history, finances, plans, etc.

Don’t kick this can down the road even once, start having the conversations early and often. Keep her on Team You the last thing you need is this chick disappearing or turning against you.

Once the baby has arrived, make yourself a part of it’s upbringing. If that means every other week or whatever so be it, but make yourself a part of this child’s life from the onset and continue to do so throughout all the years.

Married Dad-Bod Beta Schlups

Fuck the Dad Bod - I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

Fuck the Dad Bod – I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

You’re the group that really needs the most work. I’ve seen fat, disgusting, weak dads ‘being one of the girls’ with the other moms at the football, baseball, and soccer games and practices I have led.

Understand this now, your child is going to follow your example not your advice.

Being out of shape, trying to keep up with the trends of society, having no hobbies other than sedentary TV time – is that what you want for your kid?

Your dead-bedroom or 1x a week sex life is pathetic, your wardrobe is pathetic, you aren’t happy even though you try to convince yourself you are, and your physical limitations due to poor health choices have you unable to raise your kids to becoming healthy productive embers of society.

When you have kids, you’ve removed ‘Zero Days’ from your life. You need to be the example from which they will measure their performance physically, educationally, spiritually, etc. Being a fat slob tells your kids that when they get married or have kids that they should get fat too.

Start trying again, get back to giving a fuck about life. Treat your wife like you did when she was your girlfriend, treat your children as pupils who you’ve got to to train for life, and treat yourself as an ever improving project that always has an aspect tat needs to be work on, honed, and improved.

Masculine Men

Lead your children through life

Lead your children through life

You’re on your game, you’re following your mission, you look good, sex is great, life is solid, and you’re pursuing improvement both personally and professionally.

The biggest concern I have with my fellow masculine brethren is that they get too Mission Focused grinding day in and day out to improve and raise their standard that they don’t make ‘family’ time a slot in their schedule.

Men grind day in and day out, trying to build their side hustle to something more. But, at what expense?

You can’t put your family before your mission, at the same time you’ve got to make time for them. Steve Jobs is an excellent example of this. The dude could have made his family a part of his mission and it probably would have benefiited him and improved his leadership skills. Instead, he disowned his daughter as she was an inconvenience to his pursuit of Apple greatness.

You need to follow your mission in life, but when you become a father you need to look at the opportunity cost and recognize that the time you invest in your child is not wasted time.

Make them a part of your mission and you’ll find it leads to you becoming even more efficient at leading your family. Get them on-board your plan and share your vision with them, let them see the how and why you do what you do.

When they understand why you grind you’ll find that they support you and defend you from others. Your kids will say my dad’s not here because he’s working on X. Or your wife will say, when some bitch tries making a remark on your absence, that at least her man has passion in life and is pursuing dreams.

They’ll support you if you make them a part of the greatness you’re chasing.

All Dads

Fill your role

Fill your role

There are too many children out there who don’t have a masculine father figure in their life. Having a blue pill ‘plugged in’ father is better than nothing, but a child will reach the fullest development when they are raised by the balance of the masculine and feminine.

Fill your role, be the child’s shield and spear, protecting it from the world while fighting off all who threaten it’s existence.

Similar to being in shape, 90% of the battle is just showing up. Show up, you’ll figure the rest out as you go. Keep piece with the mother and if that isn’t going to work then legally ensure your rights are represented and documented.

This child needs you, it’s time to step up brother.

Hunter

I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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The Burden of Family

Nick Kelly recently released a Podcast [Listen Here].

In the Podcast he answers the question as to whether he’ll get married or into an LTR and have kids. He says(paraphrased), “no, not now – possibly not ever.” He then goes on to discuss how he puts work before all else and all of the married men & fathers he knows have lost their fire.

When I heard this I nodded in agreement as having a family does reduce a man’s output. I let the thought go and listened to the rest of the audio clip which conveniently ended right before I finished my commute from work.

I didn’t come back to this topic until I was laying down with both of my kids. I had intended to work on editing the TFA book, but both my son and daughter came up to me right before I was going to put them down for a nap (we had a late party to attend that night) and they asked if we could have a ‘family nap’(think Willy Wonka’s grandparents, everyone in the bed nappingbasically I’ll nap with them, one on each side – me in the middle.

My immediate instinct was to say “No” as I had edits to do, but I thought of all the other times where I’ve said No the past 2 weeks because I was studying for finals, knocking out assignments, writing posts, etc.

So I said, “Yes.”

While lying there I thought of Nick Kelly’s point on Work. I was also thinking of how there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be than laying on that bed with both of their little heads on my chest listening to them lightly snoring, in rhythm. I thought of how choosing to nap with them over editing was me placing the ‘work’ I had to do with them over the work I had to do on the book.

I caught myself thinking of this/that and intentionally forced myself to immerse in the now. Hearing their snores, their soft hair, the warmth from their little bodies, my mind was warmed by the comfort & joy that comes from knowing your kids still need you.

I won’t have these moments for much longer and that’s a sobering thought. My son is becoming a man, more and more independent with each passing day. Same with my daughter, I find her asking for help less and less with the passing months.

I chose this life; I purposely chose the grind of fatherhood knowing that by doing so, I’d become a less productive individual with regard to my own pursuits.

But that’s the point; their development, upbringing, and life experiences have become a part of my work.

This is an aspect of fatherhood & marriage that is lost on many men. They view their wife and kids as a burden, they think they would be better if only they were single.

This is a flawed mentality and it is where the FAMILY aspect of being a Family Alpha comes into play.

Nick Kelly can travel to anywhere at anytime he chooses. Illimitable Man can pump out a high workload of writing without having to worry about dedicating time to others. Some men view them with envy, wishing “if only I weren’t married with kids” as if their failure to perform has to do with their life status.

Married men and fathers, look upon your wife & kid(s) as fuel, not an anchor. Recognize that your role in life is different than the single guys out there. They can travel in a moments notice while you are raising the next generation of men and women who will raise the standard of masculinity and femininity in our society.

When you create a pathway to act as your son’s Rite of Passage you are doing your work as a masculine man. When you lead your wife to staying in shape, being a freak in the sheets, and allowing her to fill her feminine role you are doing your work as a man. Most of the work done by the Family Alpha’s out there is done in silence. We are the Silent Professionals of the Manosphere; the men who write on our blogs when the family has gone to sleep, in between activities with the kids, or while a wife is talking to us and seeking guidance.

We are the men who have to wake up earlier to get time alone and stay up later to get edits done. We make time to lift, read, and write while also leading a wife, educating our children, and ensuring the entire clan is truly living, getting the most of their days, and Hanging Polaroids.

We not only have to maintain our own standard but we must also maintain the standard of those whom we lead. Masculine men walk their path alone, stop looking at other men and comparing your life to their’s, because they aren’t looking over at you. Masculine men invest their time in improving themselves and putting in work, stop wasting time with the envy or playing the ‘if only‘ game. Single vs married vs parent with regards to masculinity is a fucking retarded comparison to make. Men aren’t more or less masculine because of their relationship status and whether they’ve reproduced or not. All that matters is the man alone, so stop looking for excuses as to why you aren’t performing as a masculine man should.

You’ve got work to do; married or a parent it makes no difference, you need to set the bar from which excellence will be measured. Take what you’ve got and make it the greatest it can be. Your wife and kid, they’re a part of your work as a man, so invest the time to lead them and don’t think for a second they are an acceptable excuse for your failure to perform; they’re a part of your performance.

Your wife is a reflection of your performance as a man, your Sons and Daughters are a reflection of your performance as a man. Your ‘self’ grows when you take on the responsibility of others (wife) or when you decide to create a life (Kids). They are now extensions of you and are equally important in regards to development and caring for as you would your ‘self’.

If you’re a FAMILY Alpha, then you need to view these extensions of self as motivation to push forward. You may not produce as much as you’d like, that’s fine as it shows you have hunger. Don’t let it get you down, instead let it be the fuel which causes you to rise to new heights. Family men are forced to be better with regards to time management. If you aren’t hitting your personal goal of productivity, take a look at how your normal day plays out and find the time sinks then remove them.

Sacrificing sleep may be necessary, just ensure you’re doing all of this for you and not because you feel you need to keep up with other guys. Do your thing and everything will be alright; never accept mediocrity, refuse to reward failure, and do not allow yourself to be come complacent. Periodically insert some Intentional Discomfort in your life and be objectively honest with yourself when you ask the question, “Am I really doing the best I can?”

Hunter

I write for free, if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life you may do so through clicking the donate button which will send funds to my PayPal.

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