Family Nutrition on a Budget

If your wife doesn't bring value to your life, why is she in it?

If your wife doesn’t bring value to your life, why is she in it?

Lead Your Family

Family men are required to care for the lives whom they are responsible to. This means leading your wife and your children to reaching the standard which you’ve set.

This post is going to cover the subject of nutrition and how I am keeping my family of four eating healthy while on a budget.

This is the first post where I will be collaborating with my wife who periodically writes on her twitter @sassy__sub. She is the main chef of the house & she manages the budget, so it only makes sense that she be involved with my post covering how we feed our family healthy foods and don’t break the bank in the process.

*Before anyone says anything snide about her being ‘the chef’ or ‘managing the budget’. I can cook, she just cooks more often as she enjoys tending our family and both of our credit scores are over 800, never missed a payment. There’s no reason for me to take either of these roles from her as she has performed her job exceptionally well and has for years since taking on the bills because of my multiple deployments.*

As the masculine leader of your family it is your responsibility to ensure that your family is not only eating what they should, but also that they’re aware of why they should be eating a certain way.

If your family’s nutritional plan has been running amok, than this transition may require a little more focus, energy, and attention than you’re used to providing. Messing with someone’s dietary intake is a big deal and you need to be fully confident in your decision to do so as you will be tested.

I am in a unique situation as my wife has food allergies, so our entire clan has had to support this. At no point did I ever make it an ‘us vs. her‘ situation. She had to eat a certain way so we supported that, end of story.

How did we make the shift to healthier eating? How were we able to break the all too comfortable routine most people find themselves in?

The routine of:

  • Fast Food
  • Sugary Snacks
  • Excessive Liquor
  • ‘Quick Meals’

I’ll let my lady tell you for herself.

The Mrs. Writes Her First ‘Post’ on TFA

I had spent my entire teen to adult life wondering constantly if I had to calorie count this or low-carb that. When I married Hunter we were young, naive, and we bought the cheapest things we could find; our budget was cheap foods in bulk. But, when I became pregnant with our son I realized that this lifestyle had to change as I was feeding another life.

After having my son via c-section I realized many things had changed. I felt horrible, I wanted to get back to my ‘pre-baby’ body but my whole grains, low calorie dieting to lose the baby weight wasn’t working.

I went to the doctor and requested testing be conducted as I knew something wasn’t right, and I was correct. After the tests results came in I received a phone call which revealed that I had 3 food allergies, all of which my body was rejecting and not digesting properly.  I was absolutely blown away.

Men will never know how much having a child changes your body; I went from zero food allergies to three, that’s crazy.

This also highlights the necessity to listen to your body.

Had I never gone to the doctor’s office I could still be suffering from allergic reactions to these foods to this day.

My results came back and I discovered that after 22 years of living on this Earth with zero food issues, I was now allergic to Milk, Eggs, and Wheat!!!

As I ended the call with my doctor I looked down at the Iced Coffee and Milk I had in front of me, with a pastry, next to my sister-in-law and my son at a little farm stand and sighed.

I got up, promptly picked up what was in front of me, and I threw it in the trash to begin anew.

From there I bought 5 books, booked marked 10 sites, Pinterested numerous “pins” and tried to understand what the hell I was going to do.

I cut out all of the allergens and lost about 25lbs in a month.

My body wasn’t digesting any of that “diet crap” I was feeding it or any of my “regular” type of foods either.

(At this point you may think, “gluten-free is in though”, well it wasn’t…not then)

At this point Hunter was deployed again and I was nervous to see how he would react to coming home to veggie based meals, gluten free pastas, etc…

He took it as fuel for us to begin a healthier regimen of eating.

Thus, beginning our message here:

7 years after a food allergy diagnosis, I feel I am pretty much a pro at reading labels. I read for ingredients, things that sound fake, and calories, carbs, sugars etc. I know what to cut out, what is a real vs. fake food and I’m honed in on nutrition and the food my family will eat each night.

Planning out Meals

So how do you decide how to shop in this modern age where all you hear is

  • ” I don’t have time” You Do!
  • “It takes too much time” It doesn’t
  • “I don’t know how to cook” Learn!

The Rule of thumb

The outside section of the grocery store is your friend and the middle consists of your acquaintances. 

I don’t have the money to go to whole foods and spend $400.00 to fill my shopping cart with ‘organic’ foods. I just don’t. So what do I do? I menu plan and go from there.

You don’t have to be worried about breaking the bank when you shop. Do so with a plan and you’ll be able to get exactly what your family needs without spending too much $$$.

The Plan:

Shop With A Purpose

List:

There are 4 Easy Rules to follow:

  1. Go with a list based on your menu plan. (Have a menu plan! A plan for meals you’ll have for the entire week)
  2. Don’t go to the store hungry!
  3. Most of us know what the layout of our grocery store is. Follow the layout to get what you need and get nothing more. (This saves the craving and spontaneous purchases of cookies +$) List each section of the store and then list what you need in each section.
  4. Avoid aisles that you need nothing in (per menu planning), it keeps down cost, “maybes”, and most importantly valuable time.

Fruits & Veggies:

This is usually the entrance to any food store. It also should be the largest part of your list. Make sure you are getting items to compliment your menu plan, what you need in your plan and additions in case you need snacks (that aren’t the cookies you found in aisle 5, just because you walked down it)

Middle:

What do you really need? Sauces, canned veggies, seasonings, a little EVOO, but not much else!

Dairy:

For me it is the almond milk, non dairy butter and that is about it.

Meats:

This really depends on your family’s preference. Know your menu plan, don’t just buy what looks good buy what your family needs and what they’ll eat. Buy what you need and leave it with that, otherwise you’re stuck with a package of pork that no one really loves gaining frost bite in your freezer because it was on sale. (I have it in there now and I’ve decided to take on a vegan challenge recently, the thing will be in there for a while…) 

Budgeting for me isn’t couponing (I never have them!).

It isn’t about knowing what is and is not on sale at any given store. The budget for me is knowing a price point, planning a menu, and getting exactly what I go for. Not only am I budgeting my money but I am budgeting my time. I don’t spend hours at the store thinking of what to buy and I am not buying unnecessary things; I am buying with purpose.

The purpose to make healthy meals and heavy wallets. 

Conclusion

My lady laid it out there and I am hoping that the guys who read this along with the few females reading take it to heart and look at their own practice of meal prep and planning.

It’s simple:

  • Write out an entire week’s worth of meals
  • Break that down to ingredients
  • Get ingredients

Don’t buy more than what you need. Get the necessities and eat it, ensuring that you’re shopping more frequently as you’re buying fresh ingredients and not the shit which can exist for years on a shelf.

If you have questions, Mrs. Drew is all about helping people eat healthier and do so in a budget friendly manner.

If you’d like to donate to The Family Alpha you can do so using the link below.
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cigoL Fat Edition

This will become a running series of sorts. Backwards logic can be found in most modern movements, such as the ‘Health at every size‘. With that said, this post will obviously be focusing on the Fat that’s weighing my country down.

To think you can ignore a problem until it resolves itself is so backwards and illogical that if I hadn’t witnessed it firsthand time and again, I’d never believe people actually behaved like this.

Saying you love someone more than anything yet you’re unable to directly confront them on an issue should show you that you do not love them more than you love the current comfort you’re enjoying in your life. That obese child is not going to ‘grow out of it‘, that chubby teen girl is not going to ‘blossom into a beauty‘, there is never going to be a ‘right time’ to have the difficult conversation with these loved ones about their issues…

But you have too…if you do not, they’ll eventually reach the point of ‘no return’ and forever suffer the entirely preventable negative health complications which could have been avoided had you only had the courage to say something.

I’ve already covered the growing (no pun intended) population of Funny Fat Guys as well as the need to work with your wife to Balance the Scales so I will focus this post on those we interact with on a relatively frequent basis or are a part of our lives and we give enough of a shit about them that we are willing to take the difficult, yet necessary actions.

*I’d like to note, this applies to those who are extremely underweight as well.

We’ll be covering:

  1. Fat Family
  2. Fat Kids
  3. Fat Friends
  4. Fat Pets

Fat Family

You don't have the time you think you have, act now before it's too late to make a difference.

You don’t have the time you think you have, act now before it’s too late to make a difference.

You may have a fat mom, dad, brother, or sister and while you’ve noted their growing weight and declining health, you’ve avoided directly bringing it up or looking the other way when they struggle to get out of a chair, move around a restaurant, or fit on a plane; how has that worked for you and them so far?

How has their life improved because of your silence? How are you able to talk about their declining health, possibly to other members in your family without reaching the point where you throw your comfortable relationship to the side in order to do what must be done?

You must make the difficult decision now to risk losing that person and forever ruining the relationship in order to save their life.

I know it sucks, I know you feel your heart try to rip through your chest when you think of it. I know you feel you won’t have the right words or that the conversation will turn immediately to blame, yelling, anger, regret, guilt, etc.

I know that this could result in a strained relationship for the rest of their life without improvement of health on their part so you’ll feel it was all for naught…

But that isn’t the truth, because if you do make the decision to have that conversation and take that more difficult path of direct confrontation, you’ll be able to go to the grave knowing that at least you tried.

When everyone else stood in the stands watching this loved one eat themselves to the grave you stepped into the arena and fought.

Maybe you win, maybe you lose, but at least when your family member is struggling with confidence, unable to live, and slowly dying in front of your eyes while all others wish they’d done more and for the rest of their days will have that regret, you will not, because you acted.

Others may say that you calling your family member out is disrespectful, especially if it is a parent, but this isn’t about respect or allowing others to remain comfortable, it’s about life. When you are fat you lack confidence, you lack physical capability, and you suffer preventable health complications on the mind as well as body. You carry that weight mentally, physically, and spiritually.

You cannot hang Polaroids if you cannot live…

Fat Kids

This is becoming the 'norm' Stop It

This is becoming the ‘norm’ Stop It

Your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

There are a lot of parents of fat children who talk about how, back in their day they didn’t have tablets. What kind of bullshit sorcery are these people talking about, these parents buy their kid a tablet then bitch about kids on tablets.

They can’t bitch about kids on tablets, I can because when the sun is out, my kids are out. I’m not having a screen raise them, in fact I advise families Kill the TV and start investing in quality time together.

Fat kids are the product of weak parents, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have spent hours arguing/discussing this with people in my real life and online. There is no reason a child should be overweight *barring diagnosed conditions which are wicked fucking rare & even those conditions only account for 10-20lb weight gain.

The reason kids are fat is because they are sedentary for a plethora of reasons, their diet is fucking shit, and their parents don’t give a fuck or are placing emphasis on work and comfort over the more difficult path of actually raising their Sons (Post Here for Boys) & Daughters (Post here for girls).

Your child’s life is heavily influenced by the standard of upbringing they receive from you, the parent. The habits, relationship with food, fitness, and overall approach to life will be developed from the actions you’re taking.

Kids follow your example, not your advice.

If you are eating right and working out, there is no reason that you should not be applying this to your child’s life as well. They are never too young to get active and get moving with you or on their own.

My daughter is 4 and she was downstairs with me today doing kettlebell swings while my wife and I dead-lifted. Then, she was showing me how close she is to doing a split and asking about stretches. My son is the same way, always doing push-ups or climbing, running, etc. The kid was outside late last night using our front light as a spotlight so he could keep throwing his football in the air and try to catch it one-handed “like Odell Beckham Jr.

Foster an environment in your home where you cook with your kids, have them cook for you, and while you’re doing so talk to them about the ingredients being added and what each one does for your body. Make your kids a part of your exercise program and have fun with it.

This doesn’t have to be some strict food & fitness Nazi style parenting. My kids have snacks, but instead of ice cream I’ll give them frozen grapes, or they’ll make their own fruit concoctions.

Make it fun and develop a healthy household where people eat to live and aren’t living just to eat.

Fat Friends

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

People say you’re the result of those you keep close company with. Look at your friends, are they fit or are they fat?

Have you ever approached your fat friend or are you taking the, “They’re an adult, I don’t have any business or responsibility saying anything to them about their weight.” approach? Because I’m telling you right now, if any of the guys pictured above were my friend I would absolutely be talking to them about un-fucking their life.

What’s the worst that can happen, you lose a friend because you tell them they are going to destroy their life for no reason other than being gluttonous? Is losing someone who can’t take your advice/opinion really a friend in the first place?

I get it, we all want to be comfortable and just have a good fucking time, but these guys and girls who you call ‘friends’, their fat selves are going to start experiencing the pain of being fat and act like they don’t know why they’re sick, why they can’t get pregnant, why their joints hurt, why they can’t climb the mountain or jet-ski with you and your girl…

They’re going to suffer, and suffer, and suffer all because nobody has the fucking balls to tell them that all of their extra weight is killing them.

Grab your fucking balls and have that difficult conversation, if you lose the friendship then at least you know how weak it was in the first place.

Fat Pets

I focus on dogs as I’m a dog guy, insert whatever pet you have; the advice remains the same.

I don’t laugh when I see dogs that are fat as shit and have a hard time running around. I’m a ‘dog guy’, the photo above is my most loyal companion, the only thing in this world which loves me more than himself and I’ll never stop appreciating that.

When I see bulldogs or other dogs which have a stockier build I immediately look to see if the dog is being treated like he’s a frat brother. People think certain animals are supposed to be fat so they’ll feed them Cheetos, have them drink beer, and just treat the animal like it’s a fucking garbage disposal. They don’t exercise it regularly nor do they bring it anywhere to ‘experience’ the outdoors.

Your dog doesn’t need to be eating Blue Buffalo, but god damn, give some attention to what it’s funneling down its throat.

The same goes for exercise and ‘life experience’. Has your dog ever been to a lake, the ocean, a park, or the woods? If all it has seen is the block you walk around and your backyard, why the fuck do you have a pet?

This animal needs to burn energy; a tired dog is a happy dog.

I bring my dude places in the Jeep, sneak him to a lake we aren’t supposed to swim at, let him run the woods, and we get Target brand food. The best? Negative, but it’s better than the crap that you get for .99/lb we’ll also supplement his food with richer proteins & meat occasionally.

Ensure you’re setting the standard for everyone in your clan, too include your loyal companions.

I understand this is a sensitive subject, but when you look at the ‘big picture’ isn’t a little discomfort now, better than a big discomfort later when everyone realizes that maybe their isn’t health to be found at every size…

-Hunter

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The Pride

Take Pride in You

Take Pride in You

 

Gentlemen, once you’ve  recognized the need to destroy The Void in your heart and eradicate the The Shame from your mind by reaching out to your brethren you can then experience something which has eluded your grasp for too long, a sense of pride.

Masculinity has been under attack for so long that most men now default to not taking pride in any attribute which may bring into question their support of the feminine imperative.

I’m here to tell you – Fuck. That.

As you go through the process of reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll eventually find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with the choice of vocalizing your masculine identity or continuing on with the facade (remaining a Clown).

Brothers, I’m telling you now, after you’ve face down those dark clouds and chose to stop repressing your genuine self, you deserve to take pride in the man you’ve created. 

Choosing the comfort of the lie is so easy; it’s so fucking easy to remain comfortable and to sit there and eat what you want, never get sore, and avoid all the discomfort out there in the world; it’s so damn easy. Yet, for whatever reason, you chose to find the comfort in the discomfort of reality. You’ve chosen to express your masculine nature when everyone around you wanted you to do the opposite. You chose to invest in you and live a life as the ‘real’ you vice the scripted you.

Take pride in that brother, you deserve it.

The whole world has told you the opposite. Our society has tried to snuff out that masculine fire since you were born and at some point maybe they didbut like the Phoenix, you chose to rise from the ashes, burning hotter than ever.

You’ve been told not to be a presence, but rather to make yourself meek and unimposing. You’ve been told to refrain from being aggressive, competitive, and lustful in any way. Women have told you to share feelings, your mother has told you to be a nice boy, and teachers have told you to sit still and your limitless energy is something you need to ‘get control over’.

This went on for years and for years you learned to default your decisions and behaviors to that of a man who fit the Mold and didn’t make waves, until now.

When you face that inevitable moment where you decide weak or strong, meek or masculine remember all of the days, weeks, and years where you chose the former and look where it’s gotten you.

You’ve gone long enough beating back your true nature, you’ve repressed your genuine self long enough. For possibly the first time in your life you now have someone telling you, take pride in being a man.

Own every aspect of that newfound sense of self and let the haters watch the show you’re about to put on. While you live, they’ll comment from the sideline. Before you know it you’ll have yourself in the arena and you’ll be laughing at the man in the stands saying the day is hot.

Embrace you and when the time comes, show the true you. Tell people, “No.” when that’s the answer. Stop trying to alleviate your decision or soften the blow by proving justifiers, tell someone No and then go about your business. Own every aspect of your masculinity take pride in:

  • Your sexuality. It’s OK to want sex, take pride in that lustful fire burning in your loins.
  • Your competitive & aggressive nature. You should want to win. I’ve gotten into physical fights over games of checkers and chess – fuck it, be in it to win it.
  • Your romantic nature. Men live hard, they also love hard and have very passionate feelings towards whatever they find of value. I lose sleep some nights because I can’t stop thinking of the men who fucking hate themselves and their lives. My wife asks why I’m not in bed and I tell her my mind is full. Sometimes I’ll share a little and ask her if she knows how I can get these men to just ‘wake up’ and recognize that they are their problem and they are also their solution. She tells me I worry too much about things I can’t control, but also that she is glad her man has a fire in his heart when so many are content and numb to feeling anything or caring enough to do anything about the things that do bother them.
  • Your desire to lead. My relationship isn’t 50/50 and I’ve said that to others, it blows their fucking mind when I say that I lead my marriage. Of course they turn to my girl and challenge my statement through her and she laughs saying she loves being able to enjoy the ride while I handle business. Of course there are areas where we come together, she is a responsible woman and she has on more than 10 occasions made the better decision than what I was going to make. I listen and if she’s right I adjust to her plan, still leading the venture. When we are dead-locked I make the final call, think of it as a 51-49 relationship. Embrace your own desire, you’re a man step up and lead, stop waiting for someone to take care of you.
  • Your sense of ‘Self’. You don’t need your wife’s permission to grow a beard or mustache. At the same time, you need to make sure you aren’t just going with the easiest ‘self’ you can create. Don’t walk around saying, “My real self plays video games all day, fuck what society and women want me to do.” You have a role to fill, there’s a reason I call this blog The Family Alpha. You’re the leader of your clan, you’ve got to set the standard from which all others will be measured. Be the true you, not the lazy you and at the same time, be the you that you want to be. I have a beard, my wife told me she wasn’t a ‘beard girl’, I grew my beard anyway and guess what, now she’s definitely a ‘beard girl’. Watch what women do, never follow what they say.

The world doesn’t have to love you, you have to love you. It’s time to stop hiding from yourself and way past due for you to stop hiding yourself from the world. Own your shit, take pride in who you are and what it is you plan to do in this life. Pursue your goals and live un-apologetically. There’s no reason to be sorry for being a man, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your masculinity.

The negative feelings you have towards behaving like a man are due entirely to socially constructed ‘rules’ which are set up to keep you contained. Break free brothers and let the whole fucking world know that you are here to win.

Own it.

Acta Non Verba,

-Hunter
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The Shame

You were supposed to be a King; it was never supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be a King; it was never supposed to be like this.

I was recently asked how a guy who was ashamed to show his body was supposed to start hitting the gym. This guy was a father, husband, and man who truly wanted to reclaim his masculine ‘self’ yet was too embarrassed and ashamed to take that first step out into the world. Like Quasimodo who was more comfortable in his tower this man chose video games over social exposure because that was what kept him comfortable and safe.

This post is for the men who suffer that crippling fear of judgement; those self-defeating thoughts that they’re too fat, too ugly, and too weak to achieve what they see others achieving online, in movies, on Twitter, and all over the internet. Those guys can do it because they’re luckier, richer, had easier lives, etc…

These men know that the excuses they’re using to justify why others are taking action while they remain stagnant are total bullshit, but it soothes the wound to the ego temporarily and it buys them time to do something else to distract them from reality; Netflix, Video Games, Computer, Phone, etc…

These men fear venturing into the world because they fear being ostracized and they can get over that absolutely overwhelming and crushing shame in what their body & mind have become.

They let fear of judgement overcome desire to improve; to quote Mark Baxter, “Their level of disgust in themselves has yet to exceed the desire to do nothing”.

With permission I’m sharing a part of my email back to him:

It isn’t just your body which is weak, it’s your mind as well and that’s ok; because now you know you’ve got to pull your head out of your ass and start living. You aren’t getting a ‘re-do’ on life. My blog is just a bunch of words; it’s your application of them which I’m writing for. 

With all of this said, I won’t tell you to find motivation in your kids or your wife, I’m going to tell you to find motivation in yourself because if you don’t believe in you, then why should anyone else? If you don’t believe in you then why should those you are leading believe in themselves?

Your kids follow your example, not your advice – they see when you keep the shirt on and when you are ashamed of your body.

There’s been enough of that in your life; too many days, weeks, and years have been spent doing it that way.

It’ time for a change brother, own it. Start having a blast and who gives the slightest fuck if someone looks, comments, or whatever – become unshakable and own this life.” – Hunter

The Shame

Men are told that if they followed this set path of don’t make waves, be nice, and share their feelings that they’d ‘get the girl‘ and their life would be set. They’d be the King of their castle, their wife would submit to their lead, and their children would sit around them absorbing the aura of masculinity being let off by their father.

That’s not reality and more men are finding this out day by day.

I’ve made it a point to consistently push the message that lifting weights is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculine nature. What I’ve failed to address is how does the man who does not currently have the confidence to show his body at the gym take this step?

Before I answer it’s important to place yourself inside the mind of the ashamed man. Try to look at the world through his perspective and if this seems eerily familiar, recognize that this may be you.

The men who recognize something is wrong are the ones who start looking for answers. They have a void in their heart and an incredible sense of self-hate growing; this leads them to turning to Google or some form of social media to figure out what the problem is. They’ll stumble across the Manosphere, The Red Pill, or Married Red Pill subreddit and read for hours, sometimes days.

They’ll come out of this journey awakened to the fact that:

  1. The comfortable world they’ve been living in is a lie & now they’re uncomfortable.
  2. They are the source of their problem; not the excuses they’ve used up to this point.
  3. They have to do more to achieve more; their life of ease has to be destroyed and that’s a difficult thing to let go of.

These men now know that they’ve got to take action. Every other post they read contains a variation of, “Do you even lift Bro?

The issue is, they don’t know how to lift. More importantly, they don’t have the confidence to go somewhere or the discipline/finances to do it alone at home.

Gentlemen, I’m telling you now, you’ve suffered long enough. How many more days, weeks, years are you going to be the man who:

  • Is at the beach wearing shirts, sitting on the towels or wading deep enough into the water so you can squat low enough to hide your body under the water?
  • Can’t run around with your kids because you can’t run?
  • Is trying to take up as little space possible and remain unnoticed when you attend parties or functions?
  • Only feels the slightest sense of relief when you’re eating and at home yet when you’re done and see the empty soda bottles and pizza boxes feel disgust and more self-hate than you did before?
  • Cries when in the shower, driving home from work, or when you’re in bed next to your woman who won’t even consider touching your dick?
  • Contemplates suicide or eating yourself into an early grave while hiding in your ‘safe’ cave at home?

I get it brother, you feel those black clouds will forever hide that light you once felt as a young man; that masculine fire which burned so hot when you had passion for life has been snuffed out.

I’m telling you now, so long as you don’t give up on you, there is still hope for you to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. You have to act, you have to look deep inside one more time and give your masculine self one more shot. Except this time you have the words of Hunter Drew giving you fuel, telling you to Burn your motherfucking ship on the shore as there is no retreat, you’re going all in this time.

No longer will you eat to feel comfortable, no longer will you masturbate when your wife goes to the store, no longer will you sit while your child runs…

The shame you carry runs to your core. That’s how deep change is going to have to happen. Layer by layer you’re going to have to strip away the ‘make-up’ you’ve been putting over your true self. You’re going to have to stop living like a clown and start living like a genuine man.

When that raw genuine masculine skin first hits the surface it’s going to burn. Your friends and family are going to shit test you, your wife is going to think this is just another one of your attempts to ‘man up’ just like last New Year’s, your muscles will hurt from use and your mind will hurt from withdrawals from the sugar, porn, and other toxins that will eventually clear out.

What actions do you have to take to turn life around, reclaim your masculine nature, and develop a genuine sense of self before you’re able to hit the weights?

It starts with a conversation. It starts with taking the action of sending a message to an individual whom you connect with. Maybe you email me, maybe you email another member on the Manosphere, but you have to start the process by simply taking the action of giving enough of a shit about yourself that you swallow your pride, kill your ego, and reach out for help.

From there, you have to listen. That person, if they’re willing, is going to give you advice on how they succeeded. You’ll set goals, you’ll be held accountable, and there will be expectations that you uphold your end of the bargain.

Time is the most valuable asset we have, the masculine man you find worthy of filling the role of ‘mentor’ will not dedicate his time to a man who does not truly above all else, want to reclaim his life.

Be that man and burn the ship, it’s now or never brother.

Reach out and rid yourself of the shame that has plagued you for too long.

-Hunter
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The Void

Don't suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Don’t suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Are you a man that is living a lifestyle which somehow doesn’t feel quite right?

Do you feel as though there is this void, this sense of missed satisfaction and incomplete daily regret?

If you fall into this category, understand that you aren’t alone. The sense of missing something is shared by thousands, if not millions of men out there. It’s not just the married guys either; single dudes, guys in LTR’s – they all have this fucking void that they can’t fill.

I’m letting you know right now that this feeling of emptiness and this feeling of being ‘weighed down’ is a direct result of repressed masculinity. The feeling of having a weight vest on, one that prevents you from taking actions, telling jokes, achieving goals, and just barely allowing you to keep your head above water; these are the symptoms suffered by men who repress their masculinity and it isn’t going to get any better until you do something about it.

For the guys who just discovered the manosphere, it’s not your fault; the cards were stacked against you; from birth your reality and frame were stripped of you. Your life was molded by society and the white knight fucks supporting the female imperative. They gave you that mold with the warning: If you think outside this box you are wrong, ungrateful, pathetic, and weak – stay inside this box, keep your picture in this frame, and DON’T EVER CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO.

Sad, but true.

For the guys who have discovered the manosphere and still continue to push back against the plight faced by yourself and your fellow men, you are a fucking disgusting gender traitor. I know it sucks to have your reality shattered the way The Red Pill does so efficiently, but it is still the truth and you must find comfort in this discomfort.

Even when you fight back saying ‘masculinity’ is how guys compensate, or what the fuck ever you still know the truth and no matter how bad you want to go back to how things were when you were a comfortable nice guy, you’ll never be able to hide from the strings you see controlling the system. Men who see the truth yet continue to choose their comfortable lie still have a void, though they’ll never admit it as their ego cannot allow them to do so.

The void where regret, indecisiveness, sadness, and self loathing fester and grow is surrounded by a wall that was created by those who are looking out for themselves. The people who say you shouldn’t be confrontational, that you shouldn’t express your true desires, that you should take it all, bottle it up, and shove it deep inside – those people aren’t following that advice, they want you to do it because that supports their goals.

Here are a few truths:

  • You will never get the best of your life or your women until you accept the truth, embrace who you are as a man, and live an irrationally confident lifestyle. You have to love her the way you want to love her, not the way you think she wants to be loved.
  • You will never fill that void until you find a way to love who you are as a man. To love who you are requires you to break the mold. For guys who get it this is natural, these are the guys who are able to stand in front of a group of people, tell a joke which lands flat, lay out a witty remark, and continue to smile and grab a drink. Other men would sulk, think deeply on why the joke sucked, and the rest of the night they would be lost in their head thinking of where they went wrong and why nobody likes them. Do you see the difference? A man is happy and confident no matter what.
  • You will go to your death bed with regrets if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and start completely immersing yourself in the moments of life all the while expressing your masculine nature vice repressing it. Starting creating moments vice numbing yourself weekly with booze, TV, and scrolling on your phone looking at girls from your high-school days.
  • You cannot fill this void with any object or a woman. No female or item in the world will fill the hole your ‘genuine self‘ belongs in.

The last point is probably the most heart wrenching in my eyes. If you do not find your ‘self’ you will look back on your entire life wondering why you squandered your most precious gift away, your time. You’ll go to your deathbed with regret, wishing, “If only I could go back to when I read that post on that blog. If I had just started that day I’d of achieved so much and experienced a world of joy.

I look at the guys who are asking for help and just want to throat punch them through the screen. There are men on TRP & MRP who are looking for other men to support their decision to stay with their repetitively cheating lady; as if their world would crumble if somehow that one relationship didn’t work. If she is cheating you probably deserve it and the relationship is most likely already dead, move the fuck on and get over your relationship PTSD.

The same can be said for the guys who want to know what decisions they should make in their lives. Gentlemen, it’s your life, read the posts, blogs, and books then make the decision you feel is best going to get you to where you want to be. You have to stop making excuses to justify your mediocre existence and performance up to this point and instead claim ownership and start taking actions.

In all of these cases we see men who don’t know where they want to be, they don’t know who they are so therefore how can they plan and act in accordance with reaching that end goal?

This is why it is so oft repeated it’s about YOU. You have to know who you are and what it is you want from this life. Do you know how you find out who you are?

  1. You Lift
  2. You Read
  3. You Listen
  4. You Act
  5. You Observe
  6. You Change
  7. Disregard the un-essential

In each of these moments you will discover something about yourself. You will see where you stand physically, mentally, socially, your level of confidence, and that you aren’t perfect which is great because there is no fun to be had if there is no room to grow.

Fill that void gentlemen, stop wasting your precious time with the feeling of regret that I know creeps into your mind at night, during rides to work, and while you are alone. That isn’t how life should be lived. You do not need your wife, your house, your kids, your money, or your car – you need you.

Once you realize that if everything were to be stripped away and you’d still smile – only then can you start taking actions and leading others towards where it is you want everyone to be without the fear and void that plagues so many of our brothers. Then and only then, will your rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and soar to your greatest masculine potential.

If you are struggling in silence & only see it getting worse, please email me: TheFamilyAlpha@Gmail.Com

-Hunter
My writing is free, if you’d like to compensate me for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life you may now do so by clicking the donate button below.


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Masculine Model #2 – Conor McGregor

In the first edition of this series I chose General Mattis (Read it here) as the best masculine role model out there. If you know anything of the man then you’re completely aware that the man embodies all of the traits a masculine man has.

In this post and from here on out I’m going to choose men who embody specific traits of the masculine male. I’m going to provide real men, not fictional characters who may set an example from which you can apply to your own life. The goal is to fight back against the Homer Simpsons, Peter Griffins, and Phil Dunphys out there.

In keeping with the tradition of this blog, I’m going to set irrational confidence as the first trait specific role model. In my post Lifting is the 1st step towards reclaiming your masculinity I touch on the fact that lifting weights isn’t solely for physical health but rather it facilitates mental growth as well as developing irrational and limitless levels of self-confidence.

Gentlemen, if you are looking to get the most from this life then you need to exhibit this common traits shared amongst the most successful and masculine men out there.

Confidence

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

When you believe in you, it makes no difference if anyone else does.

Irrational levels of self-confidence are crucial to the reclamation of your masculine self. This blog is mainly read by men who, for whatever reason, have fallen off the track of masculinity and are now working to find themselves again.

So I say, to the men who’ve grown their dadbod, gone months without sex, or maybe are just single and reading this to avoid any mistakes when getting into a long-term relationship you have to believe in you.

If you’re going to express your masculinity and no longer repress it then you’ve got to believe in yourself and you’ve got to believe, 100% that you are capable of doing this. The only way you can become the man you were meant to be is to commit every fiber of your being to this action. You do it by burning your ship as there is no going back.

Conor McGregor needed food stamps to eat before his UFC debut in Sweden (where he earned a bonus of $60,000 for the Knockout of the Night) this man went into that ring knowing he had shot to make a lasting first impression. After 67 seconds he had the knockout of the night, a Win, and the attention of Dana White.

This post isn’t about covering his career, it’s about showing you that you too must cultivate that same mindset when you go into everything. 

Each post I write I take on as my only shot to captivate my reader. This article is my only article some people will read, I want it to make an impact. I want to knock people out with my words and have them coming back for more, improving their own life every time they read what I have to say.

Commitment to Self & Belief in Ability to Win

Life is a game, play to Win.

Life is a game, play to Win.

This life isn’t about simply existing; it’s about finding purpose, passion, and living a life filled with plenty of Polaroids. This game of life is all you’ve got, so play to Win. Don’t be content with the meager slice society has told you to appreciate, take as much as you want as often as you want.

Men are told to take single mothers, fat women, and sexless prudes and to then shut up and be happy because. 

Most men do, and they fucking hate themselves for the rest of their life.

Take responsibility for your life, then take action as it is action, not words which leads to change and reclamation of self; Acta, Non Verba…

Don’t go into anything half-assed, commit yourself to actually giving enough of a shit to trying harder. Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say you’re trying your hardest? I doubt it as very few can.

So, start trying harder. Start making the decisions which make you a little uncomfortable, a little sore, lose a little sleep, etc.

Start implementing some intentional discomfort into your life so you stop being so damn cozy all of the time.

Total Dedication to Mission

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

What is your purpose? What is your passion? Find it, then own it with your all.

MMA is Conor McGregor’s passion, his purpose and he does not let anything get in-between him and his mission in life.

You must foster this same sense of commitment in yourself.

You must have a mission in this life and your mission must not be your woman or kids. This is about the self that masculine power which is currently dormant inside your body. Wake it up, light that fire, then begin to pursue your mission.

People may say, “Well Conor McGregor doesn’t have a family to worry about.” and they’re right.

Family men do have lives they’re responsible for, I still don’t give a shit about your weak excuse to justify your mediocre performance up to this point. Stop using your family as a burden and start viewing them as fuel. They will follow your lead, so show them what a masculine man is capable of. Lead your family while writing your book, lifting your weights, and pursuing your mission. Find a way to balance them all, then execute.

Conor McGregor’s Traits

Confidence in Self: Mr. McGregor believes in Mr. McGregor, whether you do or not is something he doesn’t giving the slightest of fucks about. Don’t be the guy who says he ‘cocky’ to others or to gain favor with women. You should view that as a trait you want to wrap yourself up in and foster in your own environment. Do your thing, who gives a fuck if your neighbor ‘Steve’ thinks you doing kettlebell looks weird, you do you.

No Reservation: Conor has burned his ship on the shore, there is no retreat. You must do the same. Stop sitting on the fence as to whether you’re going to go ‘all-in’ with what I’m advising on this blog or what you’ve read on The Red Pill. Do or don’t, but stop pussy footing around making a decision and commit like a masculine man should.

Dedication to Mission: Commitment to the craft of Mixed Martial Arts is Conor McGregor’s calling, what is your’s? If you don’t know what your mission is, then why are you taking the actions you’re taking? You’ve got to step back and figure out who you are as a man and what it is you want from this life.

Do it sooner rather than later because the time is ticking and day by day you’ll have one less action you’ll be capable of performing.

-Hunter

I write for free, if you’d like to compensate me for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life you may do so through clicking the donate button below.
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Excuses

Stop making excuses as to why you're wasting your time before it runs out.

Stop making excuses as to why you’re wasting your time before it runs out.

The saying goes, “Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

This is something I’d like you to recognize and truly wrap your mind around. Everyone makes an excuse as to why they can’t do the things they need to do. Only a very select few people out there are making excuses to do the things they need to do.

Ask yourself these questions and see if you can come up with an answer that isn’t complete bullshit which you know to be a lie you tell yourself to justify mediocre performance.

  1. What excuse do you have for not gaming your wife these past few years? Why don’t you treat her like a lover anymore yet expect her to act like one?
  2. What excuse do you have for plugging your kids in front of a screen day after day; refusing to put your phone away and educate, play with, or lead them?
  3. What excuse do you have for the weight you’ve put on?
  4. What’s your excuse for giving your time and attention to those who are not worthy; hanging with deadbeat friends who do nothing but complain and waste your time with booze or pot?
  5. What excuse do you have for how weak you have become physically, spiritually, & mentally?
  6. What is your excuse for all of the times you didn’t speak up and tell the world how you truly felt because you’d rather play it safe and not make waves; making yourself like everyone else in an attempt to be accepted by them?
  7. What’s your excuse for putting everyone ahead of yourself?
  8. What’s your excuse for letting society tell you what you should like, how you should act, and what you should accept?
  9. What’s your excuse for rewarding failure time and again?
  10. What excuse do you have for repressing your masculine nature?

People will make an excuse as to why they didn’t go to the gym, yet the winners out there are making excuses to go to the gym.

When is the last time you said, “Hey man I’m going to be late to your (insert event) because I need to hit the gym.”? When is the last time you made the decision to not go to bed but rather stay up late because you had to knock some project out?

The issue we have is that of too much comfort and too little appreciation of time.

Comfort

People have become so fucking comfortable that they’d rather suffer a mediocre existence than put in the slightest effort required for improvement. People choose to complain and seek validation through those complaints instead of just shutting the fuck up and putting in the work.

I had a husband email me talking about how his wife refuses to follow his lead and that they have a deadbedroom. I found out he was fat. I asked him why he thought his wife would want to fuck a fat dude. He went on to explain through 6 paragraphs how a knee injury from high school football (when he was really cut and strong of course) prevented him from lifting weights, running, etc.

I’m 4 classes away from my MS in Exercise Science, I was able to call BS on this one fairly quickly. He was upset about that and hasn’t responded since.

Instead of complaining about the problems you have in your life, start working to solve them.

Stop being so comfortable sitting on your couch talking about how the world is holding you down, you are holding you down – get up!

Stand up and start doing.

I know it’s cold, I know you’re tired, I know life isn’t easy I’m living it too. I have a full time job, am a full time student, father of 2, husband, blogger, and I workout – I fucking get it. But here’s the secret, I don’t talk about my problems, I just solve them and that’s why I’m able to do 4x as much as you with my 24 hours vice your 24 hours.

Stop going to bed early after watching TV shows for hours on Netflix. No, you don’t deserve that break and if you did, you wouldn’t be asking or convincing yourself, you’d know.

Stop being fat

Stop being lazy

Stop being weak

Stop being so god damned comfortable all the time, implement some Intentional Discomfort into your life.

You need to feel the pain of work and effort, you need to find comfort in the discomfort of living life as a masculine man

Time

Guys think they have all the time in the world to unfuck their situation. The fat say they’ll workout tomorrow, the poor say they’ll grind tomorrow, the weak say they’ll improve tomorrow.

What if tomorrow never comes?

Social media & technology have made people lose their appreciation of time. Time should be the single most cherished commodity we have in life as it is the most limited aspect of being alive. You never know when your string of life is going to finally unravel from the spool, yet people are living as though there’s no end in sight.

Time is like an angel – beautiful beyond measure & flying high. When people try to capture time, what they are doing is they’re grabbing the angel and cutting off its wings.

When you’re ‘capturing’ the moment on Facebook, not enjoying yourself but rather trying to promote yourself and show the world how great you are, you’re destroying the beauty of time, you’re destroying that moment.

When you say you’ll start your diet tomorrow, what you’re doing is you’re saying tomorrow is guaranteed and with that mindset you’re destroying the beauty of how short our lives really are.

Start living like you’re going to die, because you are. Start taking action in the now because tomorrow is never guaranteed to come for you. When you start living like your time on this Earth is limited, you’ll stop making excuses for your mediocre existence and instead will start living the life you want.

When you stop trying to capture and devalue time you’ll be able to recognize the beauty of it as it flies high with its wing. Enjoy that moment, stop trying to capture it. Immerse in watching that brief flight, before you know it it will be over and you’ll be the better person for watching the angel fly than you would if you were to just hold its lifeless and wingless body.

The time is going to pass either way and you are going to die, you might as well live.
Hunter

I write for free, if you’d like to compensate me for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life you may do so through clicking the donate button which will send funds to my PayPal.

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