cigoL Fat Edition

This will become a running series of sorts. Backwards logic can be found in most modern movements, such as the ‘Health at every size‘. With that said, this post will obviously be focusing on the Fat that’s weighing my country down.

To think you can ignore a problem until it resolves itself is so backwards and illogical that if I hadn’t witnessed it firsthand time and again, I’d never believe people actually behaved like this.

Saying you love someone more than anything yet you’re unable to directly confront them on an issue should show you that you do not love them more than you love the current comfort you’re enjoying in your life. That obese child is not going to ‘grow out of it‘, that chubby teen girl is not going to ‘blossom into a beauty‘, there is never going to be a ‘right time’ to have the difficult conversation with these loved ones about their issues…

But you have too…if you do not, they’ll eventually reach the point of ‘no return’ and forever suffer the entirely preventable negative health complications which could have been avoided had you only had the courage to say something.

I’ve already covered the growing (no pun intended) population of Funny Fat Guys as well as the need to work with your wife to Balance the Scales so I will focus this post on those we interact with on a relatively frequent basis or are a part of our lives and we give enough of a shit about them that we are willing to take the difficult, yet necessary actions.

*I’d like to note, this applies to those who are extremely underweight as well.

We’ll be covering:

  1. Fat Family
  2. Fat Kids
  3. Fat Friends
  4. Fat Pets

Fat Family

You don't have the time you think you have, act now before it's too late to make a difference.

You don’t have the time you think you have, act now before it’s too late to make a difference.

You may have a fat mom, dad, brother, or sister and while you’ve noted their growing weight and declining health, you’ve avoided directly bringing it up or looking the other way when they struggle to get out of a chair, move around a restaurant, or fit on a plane; how has that worked for you and them so far?

How has their life improved because of your silence? How are you able to talk about their declining health, possibly to other members in your family without reaching the point where you throw your comfortable relationship to the side in order to do what must be done?

You must make the difficult decision now to risk losing that person and forever ruining the relationship in order to save their life.

I know it sucks, I know you feel your heart try to rip through your chest when you think of it. I know you feel you won’t have the right words or that the conversation will turn immediately to blame, yelling, anger, regret, guilt, etc.

I know that this could result in a strained relationship for the rest of their life without improvement of health on their part so you’ll feel it was all for naught…

But that isn’t the truth, because if you do make the decision to have that conversation and take that more difficult path of direct confrontation, you’ll be able to go to the grave knowing that at least you tried.

When everyone else stood in the stands watching this loved one eat themselves to the grave you stepped into the arena and fought.

Maybe you win, maybe you lose, but at least when your family member is struggling with confidence, unable to live, and slowly dying in front of your eyes while all others wish they’d done more and for the rest of their days will have that regret, you will not, because you acted.

Others may say that you calling your family member out is disrespectful, especially if it is a parent, but this isn’t about respect or allowing others to remain comfortable, it’s about life. When you are fat you lack confidence, you lack physical capability, and you suffer preventable health complications on the mind as well as body. You carry that weight mentally, physically, and spiritually.

You cannot hang Polaroids if you cannot live…

Fat Kids

This is becoming the 'norm' Stop It

This is becoming the ‘norm’ Stop It

Your children will perform to the standard you accept, not the one you expect.

There are a lot of parents of fat children who talk about how, back in their day they didn’t have tablets. What kind of bullshit sorcery are these people talking about, these parents buy their kid a tablet then bitch about kids on tablets.

They can’t bitch about kids on tablets, I can because when the sun is out, my kids are out. I’m not having a screen raise them, in fact I advise families Kill the TV and start investing in quality time together.

Fat kids are the product of weak parents, this is a non-negotiable fact and I have spent hours arguing/discussing this with people in my real life and online. There is no reason a child should be overweight *barring diagnosed conditions which are wicked fucking rare & even those conditions only account for 10-20lb weight gain.

The reason kids are fat is because they are sedentary for a plethora of reasons, their diet is fucking shit, and their parents don’t give a fuck or are placing emphasis on work and comfort over the more difficult path of actually raising their Sons (Post Here for Boys) & Daughters (Post here for girls).

Your child’s life is heavily influenced by the standard of upbringing they receive from you, the parent. The habits, relationship with food, fitness, and overall approach to life will be developed from the actions you’re taking.

Kids follow your example, not your advice.

If you are eating right and working out, there is no reason that you should not be applying this to your child’s life as well. They are never too young to get active and get moving with you or on their own.

My daughter is 4 and she was downstairs with me today doing kettlebell swings while my wife and I dead-lifted. Then, she was showing me how close she is to doing a split and asking about stretches. My son is the same way, always doing push-ups or climbing, running, etc. The kid was outside late last night using our front light as a spotlight so he could keep throwing his football in the air and try to catch it one-handed “like Odell Beckham Jr.

Foster an environment in your home where you cook with your kids, have them cook for you, and while you’re doing so talk to them about the ingredients being added and what each one does for your body. Make your kids a part of your exercise program and have fun with it.

This doesn’t have to be some strict food & fitness Nazi style parenting. My kids have snacks, but instead of ice cream I’ll give them frozen grapes, or they’ll make their own fruit concoctions.

Make it fun and develop a healthy household where people eat to live and aren’t living just to eat.

Fat Friends

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

People say you’re the result of those you keep close company with. Look at your friends, are they fit or are they fat?

Have you ever approached your fat friend or are you taking the, “They’re an adult, I don’t have any business or responsibility saying anything to them about their weight.” approach? Because I’m telling you right now, if any of the guys pictured above were my friend I would absolutely be talking to them about un-fucking their life.

What’s the worst that can happen, you lose a friend because you tell them they are going to destroy their life for no reason other than being gluttonous? Is losing someone who can’t take your advice/opinion really a friend in the first place?

I get it, we all want to be comfortable and just have a good fucking time, but these guys and girls who you call ‘friends’, their fat selves are going to start experiencing the pain of being fat and act like they don’t know why they’re sick, why they can’t get pregnant, why their joints hurt, why they can’t climb the mountain or jet-ski with you and your girl…

They’re going to suffer, and suffer, and suffer all because nobody has the fucking balls to tell them that all of their extra weight is killing them.

Grab your fucking balls and have that difficult conversation, if you lose the friendship then at least you know how weak it was in the first place.

Fat Pets

I focus on dogs as I’m a dog guy, insert whatever pet you have; the advice remains the same.

I don’t laugh when I see dogs that are fat as shit and have a hard time running around. I’m a ‘dog guy’, the photo above is my most loyal companion, the only thing in this world which loves me more than himself and I’ll never stop appreciating that.

When I see bulldogs or other dogs which have a stockier build I immediately look to see if the dog is being treated like he’s a frat brother. People think certain animals are supposed to be fat so they’ll feed them Cheetos, have them drink beer, and just treat the animal like it’s a fucking garbage disposal. They don’t exercise it regularly nor do they bring it anywhere to ‘experience’ the outdoors.

Your dog doesn’t need to be eating Blue Buffalo, but god damn, give some attention to what it’s funneling down its throat.

The same goes for exercise and ‘life experience’. Has your dog ever been to a lake, the ocean, a park, or the woods? If all it has seen is the block you walk around and your backyard, why the fuck do you have a pet?

This animal needs to burn energy; a tired dog is a happy dog.

I bring my dude places in the Jeep, sneak him to a lake we aren’t supposed to swim at, let him run the woods, and we get Target brand food. The best? Negative, but it’s better than the crap that you get for .99/lb we’ll also supplement his food with richer proteins & meat occasionally.

Ensure you’re setting the standard for everyone in your clan, too include your loyal companions.

I understand this is a sensitive subject, but when you look at the ‘big picture’ isn’t a little discomfort now, better than a big discomfort later when everyone realizes that maybe their isn’t health to be found at every size…

-Hunter

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The Pride

Take Pride in You

Take Pride in You

 

Gentlemen, once you’ve  recognized the need to destroy The Void in your heart and eradicate the The Shame from your mind by reaching out to your brethren you can then experience something which has eluded your grasp for too long, a sense of pride.

Masculinity has been under attack for so long that most men now default to not taking pride in any attribute which may bring into question their support of the feminine imperative.

I’m here to tell you – Fuck. That.

As you go through the process of reclaiming your masculine nature you’ll eventually find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with the choice of vocalizing your masculine identity or continuing on with the facade (remaining a Clown).

Brothers, I’m telling you now, after you’ve face down those dark clouds and chose to stop repressing your genuine self, you deserve to take pride in the man you’ve created. 

Choosing the comfort of the lie is so easy; it’s so fucking easy to remain comfortable and to sit there and eat what you want, never get sore, and avoid all the discomfort out there in the world; it’s so damn easy. Yet, for whatever reason, you chose to find the comfort in the discomfort of reality. You’ve chosen to express your masculine nature when everyone around you wanted you to do the opposite. You chose to invest in you and live a life as the ‘real’ you vice the scripted you.

Take pride in that brother, you deserve it.

The whole world has told you the opposite. Our society has tried to snuff out that masculine fire since you were born and at some point maybe they didbut like the Phoenix, you chose to rise from the ashes, burning hotter than ever.

You’ve been told not to be a presence, but rather to make yourself meek and unimposing. You’ve been told to refrain from being aggressive, competitive, and lustful in any way. Women have told you to share feelings, your mother has told you to be a nice boy, and teachers have told you to sit still and your limitless energy is something you need to ‘get control over’.

This went on for years and for years you learned to default your decisions and behaviors to that of a man who fit the Mold and didn’t make waves, until now.

When you face that inevitable moment where you decide weak or strong, meek or masculine remember all of the days, weeks, and years where you chose the former and look where it’s gotten you.

You’ve gone long enough beating back your true nature, you’ve repressed your genuine self long enough. For possibly the first time in your life you now have someone telling you, take pride in being a man.

Own every aspect of that newfound sense of self and let the haters watch the show you’re about to put on. While you live, they’ll comment from the sideline. Before you know it you’ll have yourself in the arena and you’ll be laughing at the man in the stands saying the day is hot.

Embrace you and when the time comes, show the true you. Tell people, “No.” when that’s the answer. Stop trying to alleviate your decision or soften the blow by proving justifiers, tell someone No and then go about your business. Own every aspect of your masculinity take pride in:

  • Your sexuality. It’s OK to want sex, take pride in that lustful fire burning in your loins.
  • Your competitive & aggressive nature. You should want to win. I’ve gotten into physical fights over games of checkers and chess – fuck it, be in it to win it.
  • Your romantic nature. Men live hard, they also love hard and have very passionate feelings towards whatever they find of value. I lose sleep some nights because I can’t stop thinking of the men who fucking hate themselves and their lives. My wife asks why I’m not in bed and I tell her my mind is full. Sometimes I’ll share a little and ask her if she knows how I can get these men to just ‘wake up’ and recognize that they are their problem and they are also their solution. She tells me I worry too much about things I can’t control, but also that she is glad her man has a fire in his heart when so many are content and numb to feeling anything or caring enough to do anything about the things that do bother them.
  • Your desire to lead. My relationship isn’t 50/50 and I’ve said that to others, it blows their fucking mind when I say that I lead my marriage. Of course they turn to my girl and challenge my statement through her and she laughs saying she loves being able to enjoy the ride while I handle business. Of course there are areas where we come together, she is a responsible woman and she has on more than 10 occasions made the better decision than what I was going to make. I listen and if she’s right I adjust to her plan, still leading the venture. When we are dead-locked I make the final call, think of it as a 51-49 relationship. Embrace your own desire, you’re a man step up and lead, stop waiting for someone to take care of you.
  • Your sense of ‘Self’. You don’t need your wife’s permission to grow a beard or mustache. At the same time, you need to make sure you aren’t just going with the easiest ‘self’ you can create. Don’t walk around saying, “My real self plays video games all day, fuck what society and women want me to do.” You have a role to fill, there’s a reason I call this blog The Family Alpha. You’re the leader of your clan, you’ve got to set the standard from which all others will be measured. Be the true you, not the lazy you and at the same time, be the you that you want to be. I have a beard, my wife told me she wasn’t a ‘beard girl’, I grew my beard anyway and guess what, now she’s definitely a ‘beard girl’. Watch what women do, never follow what they say.

The world doesn’t have to love you, you have to love you. It’s time to stop hiding from yourself and way past due for you to stop hiding yourself from the world. Own your shit, take pride in who you are and what it is you plan to do in this life. Pursue your goals and live un-apologetically. There’s no reason to be sorry for being a man, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your masculinity.

The negative feelings you have towards behaving like a man are due entirely to socially constructed ‘rules’ which are set up to keep you contained. Break free brothers and let the whole fucking world know that you are here to win.

Own it.

Acta Non Verba,

-Hunter
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The Phoenix

In order to rise from the ashes, you must first create them by burning the lie to the ground.

In order to rise from the ashes, you must first create them by burning the lie to the ground.

What I do on this blog is I try to help men see that there is a different way to live. I try to let them see through theory, personal example, and a fucking call to arms through electronic text that they do not have to accept the cards that have been dealt to them. I try to get men to flip the fucking poker table scattering those cards, Breaking the Mold, and realizing that they’ve been the one in control the entire time they just didn’t know it.

At some point, every emasculated man handed his power over to others in his life. This may have started at birth, I school when he was told his hyper activity was a negative/his competitiveness was a negative/his aggression was a negative, it may have started in high school with his first girlfriend while he tried to be the nice guy he was told women wanted, or it may have happened when he married his girl thinking that was his mission as a man.

It makes no difference when the power was lost, all that matters is that it is reclaimed – Now.

It’s time for you, the man reading this blog who has a tight feeling in your chest to make the decision to take it back. Yes, I am talking to you.

This isn’t a fun game for me, it’s very personal. I want more than anything for you to reclaim your true self and to stop hating your life and those in it. I want you to be happy and find joy in every moment you have, but I can’t fucking do it for you and as much as I wish I could, it wouldn’t work if I did. This has to come from the innermost depths of who you are as a man. You have to choose to embrace the ‘self’ you’ve repressed for so long. You have to commit from your core, from that fire inside which burns every now and then as it tries to escape before your repress it back down.

Your masculinity never left, it’s just been smothered under layer after layer of acts and statements which went against your true desire and feelings. Every time you did what you thought you were supposed to do vice what you wanted to do you Added Another Layer.

Recognize this, today could be your last day on this Earth; this morning could have been the last sunrise you’ll ever see, did you truly see it?

I get it. You’re pissed because your entire life was a lie – up to this point. The woman you loved, the friends you have, the family – they were all a part of this fucking machine which was designed with the sole purpose of stripping you of what makes a man a man, his masculinity.

Don't suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

Don’t suffer from self-hate a moment longer, you are your problem, but you are also your solution.

I’ve received hundreds of emails from men who were near the end of their String of Life, do you recognize any of their stories?

You got divorced and your ex took your kids and your cash?

Your girlfriend lied, cheated, and broke your heart?

You woke up one day, looked in the mirror, and for the first time in your life thought of killing yourself?

Did your wife send messages to another man telling him she wanted to do things with him that she’s never done with you?

Do you have a void in your heart?

Self-hate in your mind?

Abusing substances to numb the pain of being who you are?

The list goes on, but you get my point, there are a lot of reasons to just say fuck it.

But, you found this blog, the manosphere, and have made the connections and come to the conclusion that all of this was your fault and it lit a fire in your heart, stomach, mind, and soul.

Good, let it burn.

The ashes are needed; the entire frame the world built and forced you into needs to be burned and swept into a pile of ash.

From that ash The Phoenix is going to rise.

You are that Phoenix. You are the man who is going to climb out of that pile of fucking disintegrated lies, comfort, the framework of others, betrayal, and expectations.

When you choose to burn it down and rise from the destruction you are choosing to face the raw, brutal, unforgiving nature of the world. Reality is not comfortable, you must find comfort in the discomfort of it.

Fly. Let your expression of masculinity act as an example for others to do the same.

Fly. Let your expression of masculinity act as an example for others to do the same.

You must choose to live and flourish in a society which hates you as a masculine man. Like the Phoenix you must take flight and recognize that there’s nobody in the world quite like you, you are powerful, you are focused, and you are Alone.

Create your own reality; rise from those ashes and build your own frame in place of the pre-existing one. Develop a sense of self, an identity that is forged entirely by your own hands. Do not use the previous example as a guideline, fuck that you do you. Whatever that new ‘you’ is, you need to fucking own it. You need to live a life that is genuinely yours.

Brother, I meant what I said, you may not live to see the New Year; I may not either. If I were to die after this post, I’d have no regrets. I have loved fiercely, lived hard, and immersed myself into the now throughout it all. There’s nothing left undone that I’m not ok with leaving undone, can you say the same?

I've chosen to hang Polaroids on my lifeline, have you?

I’ve chosen to hang Polaroids on my lifeline, have you?

Is there something you’ve wanted to say to someone?

Is there a place you’ve wanted to get to mentally, a place of joy or of truly loving yourself?

Is there a moment you’ve wanted to have with someone; a wife, friend, lover, family, child?

What is it that you’ve hidden from the world due to fear of judgement and being ostracized, do you want to share it?

Commit to this process and your life will never be the same. If you do choose to embrace your masculinity and rise from the ashes, you must Burn Your Ship on the shore, there is no going back, there is no retreat to your previous self – he’s ashes and you are no longer the ‘him’ everyone else created. You are now the ‘self’ you choose to become…

Fly like the Phoenix, reclaim your position in the world as the King of all Beasts. There’s no reminiscing, the past is gone and you do not have enough breathes left in your life to sit around angry at what could have been. Let the ash blow away in the wind, you’ve got work to do.

Live now, live hard, and live fiercely,

Hunter

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Queen & Warrior

In marriage you need a woman who can handle shit the way you'd want her to without having to hold her hand.

In marriage you need a woman who can handle shit the way you’d want her to without having to hold her hand.

Women are submissive by nature and in a healthy marriage a wife will defer to her man when confrontation is required. When vetting your woman, look for her submissive nature while at the same time looking to ensure she’s a strong woman.  My wife submits to me alone, I don’t need her strong in the sense that I need constant support as I’m her Lover, her King – not her child. Look for strength in your woman in the sense that she can be a badass bitch who can lead when you’re not around.

This is a story of a woman who had to go into battle without her husband, a woman who had to stand her ground while her man was at war, the man who is normally both the shield and spear of his family.

About two months ago I was reading The Nine Laws by Ivan Throne when I came across this quote:

“The voice of his mother, which used to sing to him and lull him to sleep as one of the sweetest sounds of the universe, was now silent. There was only the great effort of slowly mouthing words, beginning the long and exhausting process of teaching the boy to lip read as if his life depended on it… and it did.”

I was sitting in my recliner while my daughter was drawing, son was writing, wife was reading, & dog was by my side – and my entire world came to a halt. I put the book down and just looked at my son, then at my wife.

Queen

You see, when my son was a few months (maybe a year) old he started to get ear infections. This went on for a little while then it just stopped, we thought we were in the clear. Then one day he started acting ‘off’,  my wife brought him to the Doctors and they told her he was teething, no ear infection.

It’s important to note that I was in the Navy during all of this. I was in and out of the country at a high tempo and it was on my wife to handle finances, our new son, and living on her own. When I came home from one underway I noticed the change in my son. My wife told me of the hospital results and as new parents we listened.

Then one day it got worse…

My wife brought him back to the doctors after a few months of this and told them of the sleepless nights, the delay in reaching ‘speech milestones’ and the pain he was in.

Tests were done and a result came back saying that he must be sick or is having a hard time with teething, but there was no ear infection. I remember getting the emails from her (I was out to sea again) telling me what was going on, the test results, the actions she was taking, etc.

I felt helpless as I was thousands of miles away, in the middle of the ocean, while my wife was alone and my son was in pain – it was frustrating; but my duty was to my country and I told her that there was no way for me to come home early. I had a job to do and as fucked up as some may think it is, in that life it goes Navy then Family.

Warrior

Upon recognizing the reality of the situation and that her man wasn’t here to fight this battle, my wife took matters into her own hands. She went back to the hospital, with my son screaming in pain, and planted her battle flag.

It was the flag which held my crest & name of my clan and then there was my wife, representing myself and my heir, standing at that hospital with her fucking war face on.

She requested the tests, when denied as they’d ‘already been run’ she demanded them be run again. She then told the nurses, Doctors, and whoever would listen that she was not leaving until my son was treated.

They ran the tests.

Results came back.

My son had an undiagnosed double ear infection. This ear infection had gone untreated for months and in that time it had wreaked havoc inside my son’s ears. His speech delay was because he was deaf, our boy couldn’t hear the world around him and we didn’t even know it.

Flash back to 2016, I’m sitting in my recliner and my world has stopped. As I’m looking at my son I realize, the passage I just read could have been written by him, then I look at my wife and realize it would have been him if it wasn’t for her.

Wife

My wife saved my son from the silent world. She saved him from a very challenging life because she was able to put her armor on, draw a line in the sand, step over it, and plant her flag telling the world, “I am not going to back down from this, submit to my demands or be destroyed.” She forced compliance.

I will never forget this. I came home from my underway and she told me what it is she had done. I was a proud man and had a newfound respect for this woman who took my last name.

Since then, we have had to go through speech therapy, multiple sets of tubes, and other steps to treat the damage. I remember the first time we went to the beach after having tubes put in, he was scared of the waves because every time before that day, they were silent; now he could hear them crash. My wife almost cried and I almost did too, not because of what had happened, but because I was able to appreciate the little things he could now hear. The sound of waves, a bird overhead, music…

My son is now a strong, intelligent, and popular kid who is able to hear the sound of his mother’s voice, the sound of his father’s lessons, and the pride in his younger sister’s voice as she follows him around.

Lover

My woman didn’t fall apart when I wasn’t around. She didn’t crumble under the stress of running a household as a single parent while I was out with my brothers in arms, taking on a different fight. She knew I had a job to do and she knew she did too, so she did it. Because of her commitment to our clan, she didn’t run to mom or dad, she didn’t sulk and cry, an she didn’t just accept ‘No.’ as an answer. My son can hear and it is the direct result of action taken by my lover, my warrior, my Queen, my wife.

Hunter

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Creator of Life

When I had kids I knew my life had changed forever - I was fucking pumped.

When I had kids I knew my life had changed forever – I was fucking pumped.

This is a continuation of my Burden of Family post.

A friend of mine, the creator of the blog Unlocking the Crown recently returned home after his wife delivered triplets. We spoke a few times while his wife was sleeping still in the hospital and I could feel the masculine energy flowing through him. Here he was riding on X minutes of sleep, taking care of his wife, 3 babies, and everything else required to make the transition from hospital to home go as smooth as possible and when we spoke it was like it was just another fucking day.

Aside from my wife, he’s the only person who knows of my blog in my ‘real’ life. So, naturally we touched on the subject of masculinity and fatherhood. During the discussion he said something which inspired this post, he said is isn’t hard managing all of this because these are his kids and that’s his wife, and he was a part of making this happen.

Complete ownership. If you’re going to have kids then you’re going to have to fill the role required of you when the kids show up.

If you’re a father then you played a role in creating life and that means something. No matter how awesome or awkward and uncomfortable the sex was, you had it and a baby was the result. I don’t care if it’s with your wife or with a one night stand; if you played a role in creating a life, then you need to assume the responsibilities that come with the title Father.

You’re poor?  I don’t care.

You’re Young? I don’t care.

You’re really busy? I don’t care.

You didn’t want it? I. Don’t. Care.

You see, as a father I understand the magnitude that comes with raising a life in this day and age. I have two children, a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl and both are in the process of becoming productive, educated, intelligent, good members of our society.

I became a father because my wife and I chose to have a kid, then we did. We made the decision again, and had another; now we’re good.

There is no difference between what is expected of me, a 29 year old married man and the 16 year old boy who just knocked up his freshman sweetheart.

You do your fucking best. You remain as present as you can and you provide the necessities. If the mother wants to be a bitch about it then you get legal documentation which clearly draws the boundaries for time, supervision, requirements, etc.

I don’t live in a fantasy world where kids aren’t having unprotected sex, I know that it’s going to happen, I know right now some kid is hitting it raw dog and doesn’t know enough to pull out because it feels to good and in September he’s going to see a ball of flesh coming out of where he was cumming in.

My aim with this blog isn’t to fight teen sex; part of my goal with this blog is to provide a resource that will raise the standard of men who will then act as an example for the young men in their life. If you act like a masculine man then the boys around you will act like and become masculine men. When they purposefully or accidentally have a child, they’ll act as a masculine man does – complete ownership.

Single Gents

You don't need a Queen to be a King. You don't need a wife to be a father.

You don’t need a Queen to be a King. You don’t need a wife to be a father.

Had sex with the girlfriend or or one night stand and got her pregnant? She (you both) decided to keep the baby?

Cool, it’s dad time.

*Do not think that because you got this woman pregnant that now you have to marry her.

If it was a one night stand, you need to let her know to keep you in the loop. Maybe you’ll try and go steady and figure a way to become an LTR or maybe you’ll just stay in touch over baby things. Both are acceptable options, the key point is you need to know what’s going on with the baby. 

For the one night stand or girlfriends alike, ensure you’re aware of doctor’s appointments, any complications, preparations for where the baby will live, getting stuff together for the arrival, planning for names, etc. You’re a part of all of this and the best thing you can do is remain civil with this woman. You may not know her at all, start discussing family history, finances, plans, etc.

Don’t kick this can down the road even once, start having the conversations early and often. Keep her on Team You the last thing you need is this chick disappearing or turning against you.

Once the baby has arrived, make yourself a part of it’s upbringing. If that means every other week or whatever so be it, but make yourself a part of this child’s life from the onset and continue to do so throughout all the years.

Married Dad-Bod Beta Schlups

Fuck the Dad Bod - I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

Fuck the Dad Bod – I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

You’re the group that really needs the most work. I’ve seen fat, disgusting, weak dads ‘being one of the girls’ with the other moms at the football, baseball, and soccer games and practices I have led.

Understand this now, your child is going to follow your example not your advice.

Being out of shape, trying to keep up with the trends of society, having no hobbies other than sedentary TV time – is that what you want for your kid?

Your dead-bedroom or 1x a week sex life is pathetic, your wardrobe is pathetic, you aren’t happy even though you try to convince yourself you are, and your physical limitations due to poor health choices have you unable to raise your kids to becoming healthy productive embers of society.

When you have kids, you’ve removed ‘Zero Days’ from your life. You need to be the example from which they will measure their performance physically, educationally, spiritually, etc. Being a fat slob tells your kids that when they get married or have kids that they should get fat too.

Start trying again, get back to giving a fuck about life. Treat your wife like you did when she was your girlfriend, treat your children as pupils who you’ve got to to train for life, and treat yourself as an ever improving project that always has an aspect tat needs to be work on, honed, and improved.

Masculine Men

Lead your children through life

Lead your children through life

You’re on your game, you’re following your mission, you look good, sex is great, life is solid, and you’re pursuing improvement both personally and professionally.

The biggest concern I have with my fellow masculine brethren is that they get too Mission Focused grinding day in and day out to improve and raise their standard that they don’t make ‘family’ time a slot in their schedule.

Men grind day in and day out, trying to build their side hustle to something more. But, at what expense?

You can’t put your family before your mission, at the same time you’ve got to make time for them. Steve Jobs is an excellent example of this. The dude could have made his family a part of his mission and it probably would have benefiited him and improved his leadership skills. Instead, he disowned his daughter as she was an inconvenience to his pursuit of Apple greatness.

You need to follow your mission in life, but when you become a father you need to look at the opportunity cost and recognize that the time you invest in your child is not wasted time.

Make them a part of your mission and you’ll find it leads to you becoming even more efficient at leading your family. Get them on-board your plan and share your vision with them, let them see the how and why you do what you do.

When they understand why you grind you’ll find that they support you and defend you from others. Your kids will say my dad’s not here because he’s working on X. Or your wife will say, when some bitch tries making a remark on your absence, that at least her man has passion in life and is pursuing dreams.

They’ll support you if you make them a part of the greatness you’re chasing.

All Dads

Fill your role

Fill your role

There are too many children out there who don’t have a masculine father figure in their life. Having a blue pill ‘plugged in’ father is better than nothing, but a child will reach the fullest development when they are raised by the balance of the masculine and feminine.

Fill your role, be the child’s shield and spear, protecting it from the world while fighting off all who threaten it’s existence.

Similar to being in shape, 90% of the battle is just showing up. Show up, you’ll figure the rest out as you go. Keep piece with the mother and if that isn’t going to work then legally ensure your rights are represented and documented.

This child needs you, it’s time to step up brother.

Hunter

I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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Meditation in Motion

You've got to get your mind under control or it will wreak havoc.

You’ve got to get your mind under control or it will wreak havoc.

Many readers on the Manosphere keep asking the same questions and a lot of writers keep providing the same answers with their unique take here and there.

Guys unplug and then they’ll say, “I don’t know what to do”.

They are angry yet they aren’t quite sure at whom or what specifically it is that angers them.

These guys say they don’t know where to direct their anger or how to just not be angry.

They also want to know what specifically they are supposed to be doing now that they’ve gotten a taste of reality and are beginning to see the strings controlling the system.

To the gentlemen who find themselves in this group, this one is for you.

Meditation in Motion is something I came up with before I started The Family Alpha blog. It was the discovery that when I wasn’t writing, lifting, and doing I felt like shit. I started to pay attention to this and I came to the realization that it was in the movement that I found myself most ‘at peace’ with who I was as a man and where I was in my life.

I’ve tried the whole sitting, breathing into my stomach, and counting breaths to help clear the mind. It just wasn’t my thing, I kept thinking of the other things I wanted to do.

Notice I said things I wanted to do; I’m not a victim of the ‘go-go-go’ mindset which plagues many men in our modern society. I don’t always think of stuff I have to do, which would be the result of a stressful mind. Instead, I take time to fully immerse in each moment; I now notice shit as simple as a breeze, the color of trees, etc.

I would sit, do nothing but try to ‘meditate’ and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the post I wanted to write, the book I’d like to read, whatever; there was something productive I wanted to do besides find ‘Zen’.

I’ve since come to the conclusion that not as many people give a shit about reaching enlightenment as people think. It’s the same as the cold showers, stoicism, etc. People hold these as doctrine. Fuck it, periodically throw a cold shower in the mix, and once in a while let your emotions flare to the surface. Some people find peace sitting and listening to bells, most don’t and to that crowd I’ve got a solution.

Fuck the enlightenment, we need to recognize that men want to find peace within their mind & body.

There is a connection between the mind and body; if both aren’t in sync and properly trained you’re going to have an imbalance. Lifting trains both, implementing intentional discomforts occasionally will train both, and reading keeps the mind sharp. All of these must occur for the strongest foundation of ‘self’ to be developed.

So what are you supposed to do to achieve greater insight and control over ‘self’ without sitting and breathing in a silent room?

MOVE

Just get yourself in motion; whatever that means to you is what you’re supposed to do.

For some men that means signing up to a gym or purchasing home gym equipment and getting at it in their home. Others may start taking care of projects around their house which has been neglected. Some may find that it just means getting out without their wife as they don’t have any friends or hobbies. You can also:

  • Go for a Walk
  • Go for a run
  • Drive to an empty parking lot and read
  • Start writing
  • Start taking photos
  • Start attending a class on anything at your local library or community college

Just start doing something which puts your body & mind into motion. It is in the action that you will begin to release the anger, release the tension, release the stress, release the fear, release the regret, release the pain, and replace it with your masculine powerful self.

Notice, none of the recommended actions include your wife. This post is for fixing the minds of the newly unplugged as well as the guys who are stuck in the anger stage. You need to take the actions, free from your wife as they have nothing to do with her.

I’m not telling you to lead her, not telling you to game her, I’m not telling you to do a fucking thing with her as that requires control, a clear mind, and Machiavellian perception which you are unable to master while your mind is a mess.

Skip all of that bullshit and just simply focus on you doing something.

You will find that during your runs you are talking to yourself in your head. While you’re taking photos you’re also thinking about that thing you said or did.

While in motion you are meditating and de-fragmenting your mind and you don’t even know it. Taking these actions and putting yourself into motion will lead to you becoming more effective and efficient at uncovering who you are as a man. Once you know who your ‘self’ is, you can then release the anger as well as knowing exactly what it is you want to do in this life and how you’re going to do it.

I follow this same advice when writing. When I write I light a candle near me (I’ve got one lit next to me right now), when I get stuck on a point, description, or phrasing I’ll look into the flame. My eyes are looking at the fire, but the distraction from the screen allows my mind to free itself and look at the problem from every perspective; it frees the mind to break the constraints it is under when I am focusing its energy.

Get your 'self' in motion, the time is going to pass either way; you might as well do something.

Get your ‘self’ in motion, the time is going to pass either way; you might as well do something.

That dancing fire frees my mind; this is a micro version of what I’m recommending as I’m focusing on writing. What I recommend to you is a much larger action than looking at a flame. This is your life and a much bigger aspect of your ‘self’, movement is the macro version of this.

Another personal example is that during my hour commute to and from work, I keep the radio off. I use that time to just think and let my mind wander as far as it can while still being able to drive. Stop wasting time listening to the same 10 songs on the radio, it’s time that could be used to dial yourself in, preventing any mental health complications or feelings of being ‘overloaded’ from developing.

You may get wicked pissed that your wife won’t submit & follow your lead or fuck you like you want her to. Don’t get mad or angry and don’t storm out of the house, simply recognize the situation for what it is and when it’s time for you to get into motion you’ll see that you’re better able to elevate yourself over the situation and seeing the entire ‘field of battle’. You’ll see where you fucked up, where you said too much or too little, and you’ll come up for a game plan to implement the next time this scenario arises.

If you were to just sit and stew over it, not moving but just sitting and reading TRP/MRP/the ‘sphere you’ll twist yourself up and achieve nothing but increased agitation. Kill the redundancy without progress.

When you return home from being in motion, your mind is clear and you no longer give a fuck about whatever the hell had transpired. Your lady may try to bait you back in but at this point, you’ve ‘meditated while in motion’ and no longer give a fuck. Not in the childish manner of playing silent, no – you truly don’t give a shit about it anymore. So, just maintain frame and move forward.

Now, apply this to all of your activities. Whatever it is that you are doing, immerse yourself in it and make every action a moment to ‘meditate’. Your body & mind will always be on point as you are intentionally keeping them both moving forward. Similar to the way you don’t drink stagnate water, you don’t thrive with a stagnant body & mind.

The answer to all of the questions concerning what you’re ‘supposed’ to do when you discover the Manosphere and unplug, is move.

Get up and start doing shit and don’t stop doing shit until you die.

You don’t deserve a break, you haven’t done enough, it is your job to lead, the burden of performance will always be on you whether you’re married, single, MGTOW, whatever.

Embrace that and move, the anger should dissipate and a genuine don’t give a fuck mindset should take its place.

Get moving brothers,

Hunter

I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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Machiavelli for the Married Man

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

I’d be remiss not to immediately acknowledge those who’ve helped me put a name to and achieve a better understanding of the strategy I’ve been implementing to achieve my goals inter-personally and professionally throughout my life. Illimitable Man, one of the top bloggers in the Manosphere whom I discovered through The Red Pill & Lionel Fox of Modern Machiavelli, whom I was very fortunate to cross paths with via Twitter have unknowingly been my mentors during this journey of self-understanding.

Both of these men have allowed me to find the name, then tame and better understand the wild horse that existed in my mind. This beast represented the Machiavellian tendencies I had developed as a result of a childhood scarred with death, independence, and strict adherence to military-esque styled discipline. Through the writings of the two aforementioned men I was able to make this wild stallion my Bucephalus.

I could never have been able to elevate myself above the board of life and get the entire view of the realm of what is possible if not for these two gentlemen. For that I will be eternally grateful; My hope is to someday find a way to pay it back.

What is Machiavellian behavior?

Being a Machiavellian individual means that you have the ability to see more than the normal person. You’re able to see what motivates people, you’re able to see the most minor of movements in the body, hands, and face and these movements tell you things the person doesn’t want you to know. The Machiavellian man is able to see exactly where he fits in the machine of daily life and because he can see his place as well as that of everyone else, he is able to see exactly what he has to do to get to wherever it is he needs to go.

Machiavellian men are able to get women to fall in love with them and are able to just walk away leaving her shattered in pieces while he feels nothing as she was not a thing more than a means of passing the time or getting a need met.

Machiavellian men often find themselves in positions of control. In The Prince for example, you will find the origins of Machiavellianism and an introduction to how you can get yourself into a position of power with others both personally as well as professionally. It teaches you to base your actions on the practical aspects rather than the moral or ideological considerations a majority of people are restrained by.

Why would anyone need to know about this?

Have you ever played the game as a kid (or bored adult) where you talk about what your one superpower would be if you got choose? That is clearly a game and a way to pass time as you aren’t actually going to ever be able to see through walls, fly, or run faster than a bullet. What the Machiavellian approach to life is offering is a real life hack. It’s offering you a set of skills and understanding; a series of strategies that are borderline super.

Because of my natural Machiavellian behavior I’ve often been asked if I were psychic, my wife is convinced that I am an empath, and my friends have gotten annoyed on more than one occasion when I get bored with their banter and remove their sense of self-importance by delivering the punchline & point of their long winded discussion.

I know when I’m being lied to even though I have no ‘proof’, I accelerated through the ranks much faster than any of my peers in the military, and for some reason, even though I’ve placed myself in precarious situations a multitude of times, I’ve always been able to work my way out of any potential consequences.

Implementing Machiavellian behavior is the closest thing you’ll ever have to a superpower. Before reading IM & MM I just thought I ‘got’ people, but it goes way beyond that.

When you are able to talk to someone and you recognize the twitch of a cheek, movement of an eye, spasm of a muscle and from those subtle cues you can tell exactly what you wanted to know, then you will begin to appreciate what this life strategy is all about. To get an answer without ever asking a question is something which can benefit you in very obvious ways.

We live in a society where physical communication and the ‘art of conversation’ are losing their frequency and place on the level of priorities. So much so that people are no longer aware that they can give information away through their posture. What this means for the Mach is that while he trains to learn these cues and improve his reception of reality, everyone else is getting worse. A majority of the population you interact with daily have no defense to the Machiavellian man. Not only do these people have no defense due to their inexperience, but they may actually invite you in without ever knowing you are conspiring against them.

Gentlemen, this is how you win a war without firing a shot. You have your enemy open their gates, bring you inside, and show you all of their secrets. Then they thank you for your time while sending you on your way.

People love to talk and they are so used to dealing with fools who are not listening but rather waiting for their turn to speak that their tongues have gotten loose. It happens so often that they forget what consequences await if they were to share the wrong information. This person could be your employer and you could win their favor by lending your ear when they need to vent. They don’t know it, but you’re going to truly listen while they share their weaknesses or while they share the information you need to know in order to capitalize on a situation which will place you at the forefront of where you need to be when you need to be there.

Before you know it your boss is wondering how you’ve managed to surpass him. By the time he sees you are a threat to his position you’ve already placed yourself into a secure station where you cannot be touched; and now your old boss must gain favor from you.

This is not a fiction novel, this is what I have done time and again. Normally I wouldn’t even share this as magicians who share their tricks don’t have a job for long. I am showing you surface level actions, I am layers and years ahead of this at this point in my life.

This leads me to a point on the subject which I am unsure of. These behaviors can be learned to a degree, but similar to leadership, true Machiavellian implementation seems to stem from individuals who are predisposed to this type of behavior for whatever reason from their past & mental development.

As I stated, I’ve been this way and have been able to read people and put that knowledge to work and have them work for me for as long as I can remember. My past shaped my mind to work like this, is it something I could teach? Well, I am writing a post on it so the answer is yes, I can try and open your mind to this approach to life. You may only be able to implement certain aspects before you are bored, forget to pay attention, or just think it’s a waste of time.

For those who are predisposed to picking up on this quickly, or those who have lived this way and just didn’t know it had a name, researching the How & Why will enable you to take your performance and understanding to the next level.

What you are able to do now, you will be able to do more efficiently and your self-efficacy will rise to new heights. This confidence will add to the aura you give off which will further intrigue those around you and will also enable you to push further and gain more.

Remember, this isn’t a popularity contest but rather an amoral strategy and vision.

What do you want to gain from this?

It’s the question you must answer before you get too deep. What is your goal?  Is it to gain control over more people by advancing in your job? Is it to gain a greater sphere of control with regard to your friends and family? Or is it to become more efficient at understanding and dealing with your enemies?

There is potential to learn this type of behavior for the sole purpose of working yourself into a position where you can do damage to others. Think of the quote, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” and understand this, the concept of remorse and empathy for your enemies is not found in the Machiavellian man. If you feel somehow wrong with this fact, close the blog now.

Machiavellian strategy is like a lighter, it can be used to start a fire to protect you from the elements or it can be used as a means to burning down an entire forest. It all comes down to the individual wielding the flame.

What place does Machiavellian behavior have in marriage?

Understanding the nature of your woman is a skill set every man should have. Understanding the inner workings of her mind is certainly a skill a man should have if he plans to get the most that the relationship has to offer. Similar to the way a Machiavellian man can work himself to a position within his organization, he can also work his marriage to where he gets his exact needs met.

This means a man can understand the motivators, needs, and weaknesses of his wife and exploit them to achieve his end goal, whatever that may be.

For me, I have used these techniques to get my wife to delete her Facebook, take up painting, become a submissive woman, and I’ve created a sex life without boundary. All of these actions my wife has taken, she thinks she has done them of her own accord and to a degree she has. But her decision to take that course of action was reached through my guidance and direction.

The term manipulation has a negative connotation to it; regardless of the political correctness of the term it’s exactly what a husband must employ if he wants total control of his marriage. This isn’t just to the benefit of the man, my wife is happier than she has ever been in her life. I am completely satisfied with my woman and we both raise our children with the same focus on raising them right and not having them turn out like the undisciplined and unappreciative little shits most children have become in this day and age.

This didn’t just happen, my marriage is a part of the exception because I implemented Machiavellian techniques to reach the position of power and trust I needed to in order to have direct the control over the marriage.

Where will this help you in your marriage?

Machiavellian strategies will help you gain control in whatever aspect of your marriage you want. If it’s sex, joy, submission, or finances that you are looking to take charge of all you need to do is cater your behavior to dominating that area.

This is different from ‘unplugging’ as when you become RP aware, you are deciding that you are going to live life as a masculine man. When you implement a Machiavellian approach to your marriage, it can be done independent of embraced masculinity. Hypothetically, you could implement Mach behavior and have your wife giving you great sex without ever following The Red Pill’s guide to getting sex from embraced masculinity.

To make it clear, in marriage the goal is to get your wife to genuinely desire you inside her. Having your wife fuck you out of the manipulation of Machiavellian techniques does not provide the same degree of satisfaction. The best implementation, in my opinion, can be found in the combination of both embraced masculinity along with strategic Machiavellian tactics.

I entered my marriage in my frame. The masculine and feminine roles were defined and there was never a need to implement ‘RP’ as I was naturally an RP aware guy, I just didn’t know it had a name. I don’t include this to stroke my ego but rather to inform you that I do not have first-hand experience dealing with the combination of both Mach behavior as well as implementing TRP. I believe my theory is sound, but as with everything, you should use your own judgement when applying these techniques and catering your approach accordingly.

Something to keep in mind when shifting the frame of the relationship is that you will meet resistance from your wife who has become accustomed to your supplicating behavior. Once you stop asking for permission to exist and act, your wife will become quite irritable and increase the frequency and intensity of the shit tests she sends your way.

The period of time which follows from your implementation of both masculine and Mach behavior is a critical one as you must remain committed to the program, regardless of how intense it gets.

She will submit to your lead so long as you show you’re a high value male who will elevate her status. If you are capable of properly implementing the Machiavellian strategy listed in the links below, you’ll be able to buy yourself time which will bridge the gap of when you’re faking it till you make it, to when you truly and genuinely make it.

These strategies can be used to improve every facet of your marriage. You can manipulate your girl to doing whatever it is you need and if done properly you can lead both her and yourself to positions where you are the King and Queen which every other relationship is being compared.

The goal is to set the standard, do what you must to set the standard from which all others men and marriages are measured.

Where can you learn more?

I will be writing more posts on the subject, but before I do I’ll provide you with links to where I learned a majority of my information. I’ve read all of the work on their sites, but these few are directly related to the discussion at hand.

https://illimitablemen.com

http://modernmachiavelli.com

This is a topic which I have been waiting to write about for several months as I wasn’t sure how to discuss the topic in relation to marriage. Expect more posts on not only the Machiavellian aspect to strategy in life, but the entire spectrum of the Dark Triad man. The Triad has a place in marriage and if yielded properly, it can lead to the ultimate experience that can be had with a single woman to the grave.

-Hunter

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The Walking Dad

The Walking Dads are growing in number day by day

The Walking Dads are growing in number day by day

I’d like to make it clear from the get-go, I have never seen a single episode of The Walking Dead. What I have seen is enough commercials and people who love to talk about it so I have an idea as to what the show is about. Keeping that in mind, when I think of The Walking Dead and try to relate it to the world we live in, what I envision is all of the fat men who are wandering around Target holding their woman’s purse. All of those brain dead Dadbod zombies who are going from consumption to consumption.

You know the cycle: Guy wakes up late, eats crappy food, consumes bitter coffee, climbs into vehicle and listens to commercialized music while heading to a job that he hates. He then does that job for 8 hours, wasting time scrolling on Facebook looking up girls from his high school days.

He then leaves his job, listens to shit music, gets home and has a sort of interaction with his family which kind of appears as conversation but absolutely nothing of substance is discussed.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

This photo has always disgusted me, it was the beginning of my understanding of how far men have fallen.

He then works his way to the television and it’s here he remains until it’s time for bed.

Then repeat – for years…

  1. At no point in this daily cycle does this man generate a thought of his own.
  2. At no point does this man think, “hey, something isn’t right.’ He might get the feeling, that hunch of ‘something’ being wrong, but like all of his masculine tendencies, he bottles that hunch up and shoves it deep down, way beneath his love for Lena Dunham.
  3. At no point does this man, who has had kids, think, “Maybe I should get involved in raising the standard of my children and their standard of life and self.” You see, his son has no idea how to be a man as his dad is more likely to support him dressing up like Hillary Clinton than teaching his that boys and girls are not equals and his daughter has had a toxic example of what relationships are supposed to look like for so long that she thinks in marriage the man is supposed to be a weak doting buffoon.

Gentlemen, we don’t need to watch a TV show on AMC to get our zombie fix. We have real world walking dead all around us.

It is with the greatest misfortune that a majority of these walking dead are walking dads. It is as though as soon as a man reproduces his brain becomes numb to any internal or external stimulus which will invoke passion or masculinity. It seems that the only motivation that sparks up is that of consumption. Dads consume baby gifts, TVs, Beers, cars, houses, shitty clothes, and gym equipment which is never used (If it’s bought at all).

Ask any father you know whether he has read to or with his kid in the past month and you’d be hard pressed to find one who can say yes.

Ask one of the dads you know if he has brought his son to the outdoors or a gym to teach him something about the world or the beauty of physical strength – I doubt you’ll get a yes.

Fathers have become fat & sad jokes of society - become the solution to this problem.

Fathers have become fat & sad jokes of society – become the solution to this problem.

Ask a man if he’s ever had a conversation with his daughter about the importance of strength and smarts as opposed to physical beauty for advancement in life – do you get crickets?

Now, ask the dads around you if they know who A is from pretty little liars. Ask them if they know all the lines from Family Guy or The Simpsons. Ask these men if they’ve got the newest phone or their wife has the best iPad and I’m sure they’ll be fucking pumped to tell you how fucking cool their gadgets are.

These ‘men’, they truly believe in the weak mantra of Happy Wife Happy Life

What can we do to fight these plugged in zombies?

Drop the cure of masculinity here and there via being a living example of what’s possible.

The solution to this epidemic is not to cut the heads off the zombies; but rather, to offer the cure. Some of these dudes are lost causes, do not expend too much energy on their behalf – if a man wants redemption, it won’t take much of a push as they’re already on the edge.

The cure for this zombie apocalypse is masculinity. Raw, powerful, lifesaving masculine power is what will cure these zombies, it’s what will kill the Walking Dad.

It’s not just fathers, but the point remains that married men with kids are the hardest hit group of men out there. They are the population I have found myself a part of (Married w/ kids – not walking dad), so it’s the group that has received the most of my attention. We need to act as examples and lay some lines here and there that inject the truth of reality into these lifeless souls.

Maybe it will enter the blood stream and cure the individual or maybe it will dissipate and the zombie will continue to live its perfect weak consumer lifestyle it has up to this point.

The consequences of being one of these ‘Walking Dads’ goes way beyond having a dadbod and being afraid of conflict.

The progression of demasculation

The progression of demasculation

Let me paint a few pictures to illustrate the vast range of consequences that come from being a part of the Walking Dads:

  • Dadbod zombie is walking down the street with his daughter who resents him, son who despises him, and wife who hasn’t been attracted to him for the past 5 years. They come across a group of thugs who view them to be easy pickings as the dad is an obvious pushover and the rest of the family is oblivious to the threat as they haven’t had a masculine leader to prepare them for the evil of the world.

Wife loses purse, husband and son get broken jaws, and daughter is traumatized from threats of thugs.

  • Hillary Clinton wins election and an entire city erupts in rage as the system is rigged and the population can no longer bottle their rage at this fact up, so riots rip through the city.

Walking dadbod doesn’t know what to do so he sits inside with his girls and cries by their side. Days go by and still, nobody assumes the role of leader to help the family out of this situation. They live in the city, the streets aren’t safe, the stores are closed, and it’s going to be another few days before it’s safe to leave their property. The family suffers, everyone is emotionally drained, and lack of preparation devastates the family.

  • Dadbod comes home to find his wife fucking another man. He is a poor boy who makes minimum wage, yet he is shredded and confident as fuck. Wife says, “What? I needed a real man and you haven’t fucked me in months.” Of course beta zombie husband has wanted to fuck her hard, but it never came to fruition as he was a nice guy and nice zombie men don’t force sex.

Now he tells her he will take her back and he is sorry for not being the man she needed (See: Cuck).

  • Walking Dad shuffles his soft fat ass into the Dr’s office where the family Dr. tells him that his heart is starting to fail and if he doesn’t take immediate action he is going to die before he’s 55.
  • Zombie man has to watch his kids play in the ocean while he wears a shirt, has to watch his family zip line while he hands out below, too heavy for the wires, and has to sit on the sideline while the rest of his family has amazing experiences because he lacks conditioning, strength, and is too heavy to go on any ride.

I could keep going, but I’ll stop because it fucking sucks to write this. This is the reality many men are facing and it’s fucking depressing. Too many men are nothing more than walking wallets to their wife and kids.

It’s time to make a change; gentlemen it’s time to take back what has been stripped of you – your fucking balls and masculinity.

Draw a line in the sand, today.

Fuck that, right now draw a line in the sand and say, “It ends here”

Who do you think you should be? Who do you think your wife wants?

Who do you think you should be? Who do you think your wife wants?

Start by refusing to reward failure, do not allow others to disrespect you or your opinion on certain matters – Make your voice heard.

From there, earn the loyalty and respect that is taken by masculine men. Get control over your nutrition, grow some muscles and strength by getting your ass under the iron. Start running and doing bodyweight exercises. Then add in some reading; remember, mental fitness is as important as physical so make time to train your mind while you’re training your body.

Unfuck your sex life; your wife is a woman and needs you to be a god damn man – step up. Sure, it sucks that you’ve been a doormat for the past X amount of years, but those years are gone so reclaim your role in this family in the here and now.

Would you fuck you? No? Then why do you think your wife should?

Would you fuck you? No? Then why do you think your wife should?

If you’ve made it this far then you are now presented with a choice. You can choose to reclaim your masculinity and live life as a real man or you can join the growing population of the Walking Dad – choose wisely; if you aren’t with masculine men, then you’re against them.

-Hunter

If you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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Intentional Discomfort

Take a step back and recognize the beauty that's around you

Keeping passion, desire, joy, and productivity in a marriage is difficult. The problem is that the things you do aren’t new and because they aren’t new – they lose that initial feeling of wow. I’ve written about this in Remain UNpredictable as routine kills marriages; Routine = complacency and complacency = death of attraction.

This exact  concept can be applied to all things in your life. Yet, we don’t discuss it as often with material possessions as we do our women.

I have multiple posts on how to keep your woman on her toes and ways to keep that fire & the ‘tingles’ alive. Yet, I haven’t written about the necessity of doing this for the rest of the ‘stuff’ in your life and that is what the aim of this post is today.

Appreciate the comforts in your life, by removing them.

I was born in 87, I am in the fortunate group of people who appreciates the outdoors (I used to be kicked out of the house until the street lights were on) yet I also experienced Nintendo, PS1, etc.

I learned about remaining active, not having any fat friends (obesity wasn’t even a thing) and I was exposed to technology so I can also navigate all gaming systems and smart phones. I live in both the old and new world and it has benefited me immensely.

One of the problems with this is that I am further and further removed from the time when I didn’t have these luxuries. Long gone are the days where I’d have to wait to use a phone or not have hot water.

Appreciate the finer things

Appreciate the finer things

The constant comforts we’ve been afforded have made us weak and unappreciative – these are not masculine traits and therefore need to be identified and eradicated.

If you want to get back to enjoying the process and not just reaching the end, you need to remove some comforts from your life.

  • When is the last time you took a cold shower?
  • When is the last time you slept on the ground or a hard surface?
  • When is the last time you went a day without the internet or a phone?
  • When is the last time you made a fire to cook your food?

A lot of guys will watch movies like Man v. Wild or Naked & Afraid and say, I could do that – yet these guys have never gone a 24 hour period without shoving something into their mouth. How do you know you are prepared to face the elements if you never expose yourself to those elements?

Learn to appreciate what you’ve got and the beauty of the little things by taking them away. The easiest way to do this is to go camping. Leave the phone behind, the electronic games behind, running water behind, the memory foam – all of it.

Grab a thin blanket, a tent, a water filter, and maybe something to throw on a fire or a pan to boil water. Go out for at least 3 days.

You’ll learn more about yourself in those three days than you would reading 50 books on being a survivalist.

Remove the comforts and then you’ll appreciate the comforts.

If you don’t want to go camping try any of these:

Only take cold showers Monday-Friday – Saturday that warm shower will never have felt so good.

Go 3 days without sex or any type of ‘release’ – The first time you have sex you may not last long before blowing that 3 day build up, but it will feel amazing and have you appreciating the art of sex even more.

Leave your phone behind – People lose their shit over this one. They say, what if there’s an emergency?? So what? You find out later? I have a wife and kids, I love them to death, but when I go camping, there’s no phone and I’m gone 3-5 days. You don’t have to leave the phone behind for that long, but go to work without it or when you get home throw it in your closet, shut the door, and go about the rest of your day.

Leave the internet behind – Ever go a week without getting online? Didn’t think so. A week is like 2 internet months. So much can happen and change – so be it. Your life isn’t about being up to date 24/7 – it’s about actually living.

Leave TV/HULU/HBO/Netflix/VideoGames/Etc behind – If you are in the routine of go to work – come home – watch TV – eat – watch TV – sleep then now is a pretty good fucking time to get your head out of your ass. Years of your life are going to pass you by and you aren’t going to have a thing to show for it. Remove the television and then enjoy the time you’ve created for other endeavors. Then, when you want to watch a TV show or a movie with your lady or alone, you’ll appreciate having the means to do so. TV should be viewed as a privilege that is earned through completing work, not something that is expected or a part of your daily routine.

Do you know what you'd do if you were alone? I bet you couldn't be alone for 5 minutes before needed your phone, the radio, a song, etc distracting you.

Do you know what you’d do if you were alone? I bet you couldn’t be alone for 5 minutes before needed your phone, the radio, a song, etc distracting you.

These are but a few, I realized I could go on a pretty much limitless tangent, but the principle is there – remove the shit you are fond of so you actually enjoy it and don’t just take it for granted, removing the thrill and appreciation you once had.

By doing so you’ll exercise your self-discipline, have confidence that you can handle uncomfortable situations, and most importantly you’ll no longer take things for granted but appreciate the value of each little thing you have in your life.

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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Bros, Dogs, & Beer

One of the earliest fuckups almost every new ‘unplugged’ man will make is that he will spew his confused, twisted, sad & angry emotions all over his wife. He will have come to the realization that up to this point he has been wasting his life and his wife is not attracted to the weaksauce pussy he has become. The pill is a bitter one to swallow, but I will always choose the pain of the truth over the comfort of a lie.

Pride will be injured, the ego is too involved, and the desire for immediate results will be alive and well – all ingredients leading towards a hurricane of emotions.

Like a Somali pirate this newly unplugged man will look to his wife and say, “I’m the Captain now” to which she will laugh or snicker and say, ‘yeah, ok…’ leading to further frustrations.

He will want to weep and apologize for being so pathetic and not leading her or the kids – which is what has caused them to be so disgruntled and lost in this life, having never developed their own genuine sense of self.

He will resent himself for letting things get so bad and will decide to make a desperate plea to the world, making posts on twitter & reddit about how he has decided to ‘man up’ and take ownership of his masculine nature.

He may get drunk and tell his wife he loves her and now that he is a man she should submit to his lead. He will get angry and sloppy and yell about respect and the way it should be.

            All of this will happen, and all of this will work against him.

Myself and several other frequent contributors at MarriedRedPill have shared the message that these emotions – they are for your bros, your dog, & your beer.

Your wife is not your emotional tampon. She is a woman who is always judging your status as a man. Her shit tests are nothing more than check ups on your leadership & frame. To have you come to her spilling your guts about whatthefuckever – weaksauce, and she will take note.

Here is the kicker, in these initial stages – you have no idea what you need to do or who you truly are or What’s expected of a masculine man. You’ve been plugged in and stuck inside a bluepill mold that was forged by some weaksauce white knights over the years for so long that you have no idea how to even ‘man’. Because of this the last thing you want to do is lay out a plan that you’ll be changing the very next day/week.

For these reasons, you need to just start taking actions, making small permanent changes and hen let your results do the speaking for you. There is a reason that Lifting is Step #1.

Your wife isn’t your mother. You don’t need to run to her and say, “Hey look at me, I worked out three days in a row this week” She doesn’t need another child to be proud of; what  she needs is a husband – the masculine man you were and she thought you’d always be when she married you. The better way of doing that is to just start working out and during one of your romps in the sack she’ll say, “Wow, your arms are big or Whoa, your back is so hard.” You just shrug it off like that’s normal – because being a jacked muscular masculine man IS normal.

Men are the more romantic of the sexes, I’m not saying don’t feel – what I am saying, is be deliberate with whom you are sharing those feelings with.Your dog is the only thing in this world that loves you more than itself.

 

You’re frustrated because you ‘used to be somebody’? Grab the leash, get the dog, and go for a walk. Let the thoughts bounce around in your head or talk it out with the dog as you walk (quietly or people will think you’re a weirdo). Or sit on the front lawn with the dog, petting him or throwing the ball and just hashing shit out in your mind or again, straight up talk to the dog – whatever you need to do to fix your mind without bringing your wife into the mental mix.

You’re sad because you recognize your wife will never love you unconditionally or that she isn’t attracted to you (yet)? Go out with the guys, if it’s a close friend, talk that shit out. Let him know you recognized that you’re a frumpy sack of soft dog shit and the Mrs. isn’t attracted. Maybe you’ll find a new workout buddy or some diet & fitness advice. Most importantly, you’ll have released the words & emotion without it landing on your wife.Grab a Beer with your Bros & detox without the wife.

Don’t try to numb yourself with alcohol, weed, or pills. You need to feel these emotions. You just need to feel them and then turn them to fuel and not an anchor. Use them as motivators and the driving force when you’re tired or ready to take your foot off the gas. Grab one glass of whiskey and appreciate it instead of 10 beers that just somehow disappear from your glass.

Make yourself a man who is in control and treats his words like currency, only dispensing them on items needed and not blowing it all on bullshit.

This in no way implies you never allow yourself to share an emotion with the wife, it just means that when you do share your feelings, you do so in a masculine manner.

Let’s say your dad dies and you were close with him. It is fine to shed a tear, but don’t become a sniffling child unable to exist or care for yourself. He was your father, he’s going to die (we all are) and now you can grieve, hopefully praising his life and using this as a reminder to not to waste a single breath, doing this in a positive manner as opposed to being sad he is gone.

You should be glad you had the moments with him that you did and share that aspect with your friends and family. You’re sad, but you’re still a man and you can lead others to finding the joy of this life instead of sadness in the moment of a loss.

I’m of the opinion that you grieve for one day and one day alone. Carrying it out is either looking for attention or wasting time and using it as an excuse for inactivity.

Mourn your loss, more importantly honor the loss of a member of your tribe by living even more fiercely.

This goes for a whole host of moments where emotions run high.

I heard the national anthem playing when my kids were watching a football game and when I walked in the room they were both quiet and standing; my daughter had her hand over her heart my son was saluting the TV – I almost wept like a baby. I was just wicked proud of them for doing that on their own and it filled me with that intense pride kids give their fathers, embrace that – don’t hide from it.

It’s OK to feel

It’s the burden of being a masculine man. Our mountains are higher and our valleys are lower. You need both; you need to find balance with it and most importantly, you need to know who, where, and when to release it.

Hunter
I write for free, but if you feel the need to compensate for the benefit this article may have provided to you in your life – I’d be most humbled and appreciative.

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