Modern parenting comes with modern problems which didn’t exist when we (today’s parents) were kids.
These problems didn’t exist, so we never developed a defense or awareness of what we had to look out for when raising our own children.
If you’re a father looking to better focus on your relationship with your children, you need to break free from the distractions:
Social Media, AI, and Tech have changed the landscape, and the world is never going back; we need to ensure we’re prepared to raise our children in a manner that will allow them not just to survive but to thrive in this modern day and age.
As a parent, our natural instinct is to place our children in positions where they’ll be taken care of; the problem is the “solution” has become placing kids in front of screens, which is causing more problems…
Our kids aren’t a living version of a Tamagotchi; they need parents, not “device owners“.
Is Your Child Even Yours..?
I’m not asking the question in the biological sense.
I became a father at 22 years old.— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) March 11, 2019
In 2009 my wife gave birth to our son & life has never been the same.
2012 my daughter was born, I was 25.
I understand the concept of "wait until your prime 30s" but to me, waiting for stability sacrifices time.
There is no "right time". pic.twitter.com/H8a3xtJSV9
Of course, your child is yours, and if they aren’t biologically as you’re a step-parent or caretaker, good on you for taking responsibility for raising that child. In my eyes, you’re their parent regardless of DNA.
As an adopted child, I am forever grateful to my father for bestowing his last name and never treating me like I was not his biological son.
With that sidebar out of the way, though, the question I presented, “Is your kids even yours” is based more upon the behaviorism angle than that of biological physiology.
You may have brought this kid into the world, but who has raised it..?
Who imprints the values and morals your kid(s) will follow?
Your genetics play a role in your child’s development, but how large of a role?
If you believe that because when you were a kid, you didn’t suffer from identity issues, depression, or anxiety that your children are completely immune to these disorders/episodes, you are going to be blindsided by a preventable discovery that your child is hurting, in pain, self-harming, or worse…
Your childhood experience is an indication of what your child is experiencing. Still, it in no way excuses you from the daily interactions and relationship building that is required for you to know who that tiny person is and what is going on inside their mind.
Both genetics and environment are closely interrelated in the process of skill formation. Still, genetic pre-disposition is a moot argument when parents and guardians of today’s youth have taken a completely “hands off” approach to the monitoring, guidance, and development of children’s internal environment experienced through electronic means.
The impact that the environment has on behavior cannot be overstated, and if you’ve brought a child into the world and have since chosen to “plug it in” to a tablet, phone, television, or computer screen since birth to keep it quiet, entertain it, and essentially educate it on the way of the world, recognize that the kid is no longer yours.
You’ve got an iCHILD on your hands, and that child updates its mental software daily based on the input received from electronic sources.
How to Save Your Child From Big-Tech Brainwashing
The cure to this mental health pandemic involves parents, a return to inter-personal connections, and a healthy immersion in nature.
The dinner table is the best server for your child’s mind.
These kids didn’t magically get infected by the electronic systems, they were offered up to them like sacrifices to be slaughtered, and it happened at the hands of the very people who brought them into this world, their parents…
- You are the reason your child has no creativity.
- You are why your child screams when they can’t watch their show.
- You are the reason your child cannot exist without a screen within fingertip distance.
This is your fault…
The beauty in this is that you’re now being presented with an alternative path moving forward by reading this piece. As much as you are the cause of this problem plaguing an entire generation, you are also the only solution to it.
No child is beyond the reach of their parents.
You can save the mind of your child by reconnecting yourself into it’s programming.
You need to insert yourself between your child’s eyes and the screen; you need to be the force that “cuts the cord” by creating genuine moments of distraction-free engagement with one another:
- Eat your dinners at the table together.
- Ask how they are and listen to their answers.
- Schedule family events that require participation and engagement, not sitting around a TV.
- Get interested in their world and see how you can inter-weave it with your own hobbies and interests.
Your kids need to know there’s more to the world than a handheld electronic world, and you need to be the one to show them that. Get them out of climate-controlled environments and on the trails for hikes out in the woods, or at the very least, walk around your neighborhood together and discuss something besides the day’s hot topics.
These kids need parents who care about the nurturing, cultivation, and overall development of their minds, body, and spirit. You’ll never know what that child loves, cares about, or wants to be if you aren’t actively involved in the decision-making process which is going on between their ears.
Schedule Your Call with Zac to Get Started on Stepping Your Game Up as a Parent: A 1 Hour Call Can Change Your Entire Trajectory
Another aspect of this discussion is if you aren’t leading them, who is?
You have no idea how many parents I’ve worked with who “Had no clue” their child was going down a path that went entirely against the one they thought they’d take and at the end of the day, I’ve had to tell each, you didn’t know because you don’t know your child…
While these parents were working, “relaxing“, and distracting themselves with devices of their own, their iKIDS connected with someone who was giving them the time of day, and that person passed along their own goals, values, morals, and “life compass“.
This is not an issue that can be blamed on “the kids these days”; this is on the parents, and if we’re going to save the kids, it’s going to come at the hands of parents who choose to unplug themselves and take on the challenge of actually raising their children to become human beings and not drones.
Children’s Mental Health and COVID
I’ve chosen to include a “COVID Specific” segment here as we are finding ourselves in new territory these days, and similar to 9/11, we’re never going back to the way things were before.
I’ve seen the fallout of COVID, Lockdowns, School Closures, and Quarantines lead to a very clear divide between people; some saw this societal clusterfuck as an opportunity to improve on areas they were overlooking finally, or they used it as an excuse to double down on the poor habits they had before.
- Some people got sober; some people drank more.
- Some people stacked cash and hustled; others blew it all and prayed for stimulus checks.
- Some people connected with their families, while others allowed great isolation to enter the home.
To the former, it’s been beautiful seeing parents taking a greater role in the day-to-day events with their children. Working from home opened many parents’ eyes to the fact that they were giving their job the best of them and their kids whatever were left of them.
I saw many families wake up to the “Woke” curriculum entering the schools, the bullshit media pushing fear and anger daily on the news, and these families said, “Enough!” pulling themselves back and many (including my family) deciding it was time to home school and unplug from the social conditioning.
To these families, keep grinding. It is beautiful to see all of the mothers and fathers who are choosing to get healthier, wealthier, and bring peace into their homes while the world gets more and more chaotic.
You can be a good man without being a father, but you will never be a good father if you are not good at being a man.— Zac Small (@ZacSmall_) May 13, 2019
To the latter, the history books are watching you, and you’re deciding what your legacy is during this time.
Everyone says they’ll be the hero who saves the day…
Well, the day is here, and the past 365 have also been here; where’s the hero taking action? What is it exactly that you’re waiting for to get yourself into gear and to start taking ownership of the direction your life is headed?
Your children are living in a world where stores are closed, masks are worn, friends are shielded, sports are canceled, there are no summer jobs to go work, and there are friends whose houses they’re not allowed at because they “may be carrying germs“, isolation is championed, and courage is ostracized…
Strong, stable parents are needed.
Homes filled with light despite the darkness of the world are needed.
Parents connected to their children are needed more than ever, and that is where I’ll end this piece, not with a call to action for you to join me, but rather a call for you to join your family and replace the screens raising your kids them with a familial bond and human connection.
They need you to bring them up in life, not a screen to update their life.
– Zachary Small
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